Yet another update beginning with an apologetic author-beast. How shocking. But yes, I am sorry for the slow updates which may get slower. Father is still recovering from his heart attack (he's fine, just bored and when he's bored he makes everyone else antsy) and I've gotten a job (and potential second job). But the good news is there won't be too many chapters left (wait, is that good news or bad news?). Thank you again to everyone who's added this to their list of favorites, or is watching for updates, and a giant thanks to those who comment. You make me feel like I've succeeded.

(Also keep an eye out for a new one shot featuring Xander and Spike and a less than white wedding, coming soon to a website near you)

Chapter Seven

Since their forced cohabitation Xander had been in Spike's crypt a grand total of seven times. Five of those times were to deliver blood or a message. Two of those times had been to see if the vampire had one of his missing possessions.

Both times Spike did in fact have said possessions.

But this time he was actually a guest and it made him feel tingly. A good tingly, like just before his hand falls asleep and he manages to shake it awake. And there was no force on Earth that would make him examine those feelings. Instead he began exploring the crypt, hand hovering just above Spike's few possessions. An inch above the record player that had probably been pulled from a the city dump. Some weapons that he knew were stolen from Giles. A picture frame flipped over so he couldn't see what the picture was. He just let his hand hover, careful not to disturb the fine layer of dust, or the smudges from where Spike had already touched the items. He was trying for polite, but it was so hard when he was distracted by weapons, which where cleaner than he expected, or the books, which he hadn't expected at all.

"I like it." He announced, catching the too cool look Spike was casting at him. "Very modern vampire, right? Did you mail order the spider webs? It's a nice touch."

The vampire actually laughed, ruffling Xander's hair and messing up his casual work pony tail. Ass.

"Glad you like it. Webs came with the place. Last owner put a lot of energy into decorating."

Xander snorted. "It shows."

And suddenly that awkward silence, not at all close to the comfortable silence from earlier, fell. And when it fell it fell hard. Xander tried to come up with a metaphor for the falling of the silence since he didn't have anything to say. It wasn't close to a leaf dropping on a warm autumn day. No, that was the silence from earlier. This was the silence of an alien race descending on humanity and bringing about the end of the world.

"Are you listening, love?" Spike asked with a strange expression.

And that was why Xander didn't come up with metaphors while talking.

"Sorry. Thinking. About stuff. Boring, normal, not at all alien…stuff." Xander wrinkled his nose. "Kind of stupid stuff. Really stupid stuff. What were you saying?"

The vampire chuckled, unbothered by the babbling human. Or maybe he was just use to it after all his time with the Sunnydale natives. Babbling was a sport in their hellish town after all. "Just wondering if you were still after a treat. Got some horrible, processed sweets around here somewhere."

"Excellent." Xander cheered, peeking into a box Spike had produced from somewhere while he hadn't been looking. Inside there was a mess of goodies. Delicious goodies of the sugary variety. And there, near the top of the pile, was the holy grail of junk food. "You have Twinkies?!"

A strange expression crossed Spike's face before it was schooled back into a smug grin. "Been using that as bait, but suppose if you want some it won't be a bother."

"Bait? Like for a demon? Oh god to demons eat Twinkies? Those bastards."

Spike just chuckled. "It's a long story. No need to worry."

Smooth as could be Spike directed Xander to a ratty couch, a recent addition to the crypt. Xander would have given the treatment more thought than it deserved but he was too busy trying to rip open his newly acquired snacks.

Let it never be said that sugar wasn't the best way to turn off a pesky brain.

As the soft treat touched his lips everything else was forgotten. No more Spike, going on about something which was probably related to some sport Xander didn't care about. No more Buffy, who thought he was more useful as a girl than a boy. No more Willow, willing to call but not willing to come over and just knock on the stupid door to see if her best friend was still alive.

No more wondering if they had given up on him.

A cold hand settled over his and Xander forced himself away from his treat to stare at Spike. The vampire was smiling but it wasn't the smile he normally saw from his sort-of friend. It was almost sad.

What the hell? Spike could be sad?

"Got some cream on your face." Spike teased.

Xander tried to wipe it away, missing entirely. "Just really love these things."

"Sometimes you're just like him."

That was unexpected. Teasing was expected. Being compared to some mystery man was unexpected. And unexpected totally killed moods. He'd learned that quickly with Cordelia. Why couldn't someone explain that to Spike?

Not, of course, that Xander wanted any kind of mood preserved.

"Like who?" Xander asked, forgetting about the cream that he was suppose to be removing from his face. No way could he concentrate on that when Spike was giving him such a haunted expression. Okay, maybe that was a little dramatic. Haunted looks belonged to Angel when he couldn't be with Buffy because he was an gelled up drama queen. Spike was too cool for haunted, but he was doing well with a look that spoke of being bothered. Or maybe irritated.

Damn he was bad at reading Spike's moods.

Spike hesitated with his answer, almost long enough to make Xander think he was ignoring the question, but finally he sighed. "Slayer's boy. Name of Xander. He's…he's a good sort and he's been missing for a while. Was keeping those around since they're his favorites. Thought maybe…I don't know what I was thinking."

"You've been looking for him?" Xander asked, face flushing at the accidental confession Spike was giving. Part of him was almost ashamed, as though he was tricking Spike by allowing him to make a confession. Another part was more interested in what he would say. And a tiny part wondered how he'd manage to stumble onto a conversation about himself right when he was feeling depressed. It was almost like cheating.

"His work says some woman called in for him but they won't tell me where he's suppose to be at. None of the Slayer's lot knows where he's at. And I just can't find trace of him."

There was a crack in Spike's voice, almost like desperation. Or something cooler than desperation, because Spike didn't do desperate unless it involved Drusilla. But the slight crack was enough to jolt Xander into action.

Later he would claim it was an unconscious movement. That he hadn't thought about it, hadn't wanted to do it. But in his own mind Xander could admit that he had been wanting to hug onto the former Big Bad for a long time.

And it certainly seemed like a good moment.

He could feel Spike moving under his grasp. Could smell smoke and leather and something uniquely Spike. It was enough to make his head spin and somewhere behind the panic over his lack of panic Xander wondered just what he would do when he couldn't hide behind Lexi anymore.

"I'm sure he's out there somewhere and I'm sure he's fine. And I bet he'll be really grateful when he finds out you've been looking for him." And Xander was grateful. So grateful he might have to look into buying a few more bags of blood for Spike. Maybe something in a human variety.

Spike pulled back enough that he could rest his nose against Xander's cheek, inhaling deeply in a manner Xander would refer to as creepy in any other situation. But they were having a moment and Xander didn't feel like interrupting it. At least not yet.

Okay, maybe he did want to interrupt the moment, but he could do it in a way that was smoother than comments on creepy sniffing. "Maybe I could help you look? Or keep an eye open for him at the bar. Or something. Or I could stake out the junk food aisle in the store cause even if he's in hiding or something he's gotta come out for snacks. That's just logic. Is stake out an inappropriate thing to say to a vampire?"

The string of babbling gathered in Xander's mouth, ready to assault Spike until he agreed to let the "girl" help him, but something cool and soft interrupted him. Something that felt suspiciously like a pair of lips. A pair of lips against his and oh lord that was a tongue, wasn't it? A cool tongue licking at his lips and Xander certainly couldn't be held responsible for the gasp he made.

And too soon Spike pulled back, thumb wiping away the cream his tongue had missed. "A right treasure, aren't you?"

With a skip in his step that he would have tried hiding before Xander made his way towards the Magic Box, far happier than he'd been in a long time. Not, of course that'd he'd be telling his girls it was because Spike had accidently spilled the beans on their concern. And it certainly wasn't because of the kissing.

No, no, no. His girls were never going to find out about that and it had no impact on his mood and really they could all shut up and die.

"Spike kissed me." He told the empty street.

The street didn't reply, and not for the first time Xander wondered why he was always worried inanimate objects would talk to him.

Back to practically skipping, brown hair bobbing and make up in a forced casual look that he'd copied out of a magazine. Oh, he was hot and he knew it. A summer dress, short enough that he'd had to put on those ridiculously tiny shorts, and sandals that wrapped up his legs and a light jacket for later. Because yes, he was going to patrol. And yes, he was going to socialize. And yes, he was going to look awesome while doing so.

And no, it had nothing to do with Spike, thank you.

This was for Anya, who grace him with a pleased look when he walked into the Magic Box. Proof of his adjustment to the female world, which really wasn't too different from the male world. Maybe more fun, but only because it was so much easier to be obsessed with cooking when one was a girl. Really the biggest difference he'd found was his ability to talk to Spike without it turning into a fight and easier access to breasts.

He was actually going to miss that part when he finally got his man bits back.

"Well, don't you look chipper today. That's the right word, right? Chipper? Or perky? Or is that just about boobs?"

"And good morning to you, Anya." Xander chuckled, wondering if she could sense that his thoughts had turned to breasts. Then again Anya was prone to random conversations revolving around female anatomy. It was one of the things he'd appreciated about their relationship.

"It's nearly two in the afternoon. Not morning at all." She shrugged it off and motioned him closer. "I think some of the girls are starting to figure it out. Not Giles though. He can be kind of oblivious for a Watcher."

Xander nodded gravely, a little ashamed of the British man and how often he didn't realize what was right in his face. Glancing at Anya, all dolled up just for a boring day at work, he realized how apt that statement was. "Well that's good."

"Really? I'd have thought you'd want to stay a girl longer. More time to sleep with Spike."

If he'd been eating he would have choked. "I'm not sleeping with Spike!" He hissed, eyes narrowed.

"Alright, not now you aren't. But you want to, right?"

Damn that woman.

"Ha, I'm totally right."

Damn her twice over.

"Maybe you're…slightly right. In the sense that you're totally wrong. I mean, I like the guy a lot more than when I was male. He's way nicer. But that's the thing, he's nicer to Lexi, not to Xander. What if he figures out who I am? He'll hate me." Xander could feel his chest clenching, like he'd forgotten to breath.

Anya just shrugged. "Maybe he's nicer because you're nicer. You have to admit, Xander Harris is not very friendly with the undead."

Xander opened his mouth, paused, and shut it again.

"Spike and Lexi don't have a history of being snarky roommates, so why would be he rude to her? Also, no reason to maintain the Big Bad persona that you knew from when he was all evil and obsessed with his crazy girlfriend."

"Anya, have you always been this smart?" Xander asked, feeling a little uncomfortable by how well she read the situation.

"No, I've been reading a lot of self-help books since you dumped me."

His hands jumped up defensively. "It was a mutual break up."

"Of course, Xander." She glanced towards the backroom and shock her head. "Maybe you should talk to Willow about this."

"What this?"

"The possibly gay thing. I hear it's a big deal when someone finds out they're gay, but she went through it well enough." And with that Anya began shouting for Willow, leaving Xander no time to escape.

Quick as a bunny, and cute as one, Willow was there with wide eyes and a bright smile. Far too bright for horrible Alexia Hart who hadn't so much as called since going out exploring the darker side of the town with the girls almost a week before. Curse Willow's unending sweetness.

She bounced up from the backroom and didn't hesitated to catch him in a tight hug, already babbling about how excited she was that Lexi would come back for a visit and she hadn't meant to sound like she was accusing and there was just boring research this week and how was work going and wow didn't Lexi look pretty.

It almost made Xander's head spin.

In a flash Xander found himself back at the center of research, pushed into a slightly more comfortable than he remembered it chair with Willow gushing about everything and anything. From behind the counter he caught Anya rolling her eyes but she was either polite enough not to say anything or she just didn't have anything to say. That worked out fine for Xander who felt like he was getting his weekly best friend intake in five minutes.

"It's good to see you too, Wills." He chuckled, stopping when he saw her freeze up. "Oh, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing." Willow said, shifting awkwardly in her seat. "So, Buffy's off looking for this demon that eats socks, can you believe something like that exists, because one of them has gotten aggressive and is trying to eat the feet with the socks. So weird, right?"

He nodded, grumbling mentally about missing all the cool demons thanks to his womanly secret. "So what about everyone else? Mr. Giles and Tara and…er…well and Spike."

If he looked guilty at the vampire's name Willow didn't catch it. "Giles is at this auction for magical items and Tara's taking extra classes this semester so she's always busy and it's day time so I guess no Spike unless he comes running in with a blanket."

"He does that often?"

Willow shrugged. "Just when's he bored and looking for attention."

They shared a chuckle and some more small talk until Willow's nose wrinkled up and her face lit with some sudden idea.

"Wait, have you met Tara yet?"

Busted. "I think Anya mentioned her. Your girlfriend, right?"

Her bright red face answered that question nicely. "Well, yes. New girlfriend smell and everything but yeah, she's my girlfriend. That doesn't bother you, does it?"

Xander blinked a few times, unable to come up with anything more interesting to do while mentally grasping for words. "Of course not, why would it?"

"Well, girls dating girls. Not that common outside of college campuses, right?"

He rolled his eyes at his best friend, wondering if she was always this insecure around people that weren't part of their gang. "Way more common that you think. Want a little secret? I've had a few girlfriends. Well, like one girlfriend and some demons who were lady like. At least before trying to eat me." His face turned bright red as he realized the accidental innuendo. "Of the literally chewing up and swallowing the meaty bits kind."

Willow laughed, a relieved laugh. "Oh, well that's a comfort. So you're bi?"

He paused in deep thought. "I think so. I mean, there is this guy I like right now. Or mostly like until he opens his mouth. No, even then he's kind of…charming. Sometimes."

Willow tilted her head in that patented I'll-discover-your-secrets way. "Occasionally charming? Well I suppose he's also handsome."

"Painfully so. And he knows it, that bastard."

"And with a weird sense of humor I bet."

Xander nodded so fast his head almost snapped off. "It's ridiculous. He's ridiculous. And all snarky."

"But gotta love that British accent."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed in a dreamy way before feeling a cold dread settle over him. "Oh shit."

"Oh shit, indeed. You like Spike!"

"Yes, say it louder." Xander hissed, eyes darting towards Anya who was lazily flipping through a magazine as though she didn't have a care in the world. And considering the store was almost completely empty she really didn't have much to worry about. Except maybe eavesdropping on her ex talking about his new vampire crush.

Willow had the decency to talk a little quieter, though not without a sly grin on her face. "I knew it. He's been all Lexi this and Lexi that. Are you two going to date?"

Had his Willow always been this interested in her friends' love lives. Oh, she'd been over the moon when Buffy started to show interest in Captain Cardboard Riley Finn but no such attention was given to Xander and Anya's budding romance. Or when he'd dated Cordelia for that matter.

Well, she'd shown enough interest to see if he was possessed. Again.

"I…I'm a little weird about the whole guy thing, I think." And he totally was, even if he wasn't allowing himself to think about it. "I've mostly only dated women before. And besides, he's only just met me. I can be really annoying when someone gets to know me."

"Well, isn't that what dating is all about. Getting to know someone, with the occasional smoochies."

Xander ducked his head.

"You got smoochies!" She accused.

"Like one smoochie." Xander hissed, waving a hand to try and make her shut up. Anya glanced at them for a minute before rolling her eyes and returning all attention to her magazine. "I just…I really don't think he'll like me once he learns more about me."

"No way to know until you try. Besides, you're willing to take a risk on a guy, especially when you're not use to dating men. He can take a chance on you."

Xander wrinkled his nose in a move he knew was an exact copy of Willow. "You're pretty hyped about hooking me up with your resident vampire."

She shrugged sheepishly. "I think he needs some cheering up. And you do make him cheery."

It wasn't long before their conversation turned to things besides vampires, with subjects ranging from classes and work and magic. As their talk went on Xander realized how hesitant Willow was to talk about her girlfriend and he realized it had been like that before he became a woman. Making a mental vow to welcome Tara into the group more, after getting his male bits back, Xander allowed the easy chatter to lull him into a relaxed state.

The hours passed with brief interludes into the conversation to help a customer or get a snack or help Anya move stuff in the backroom. It was almost like he was back, like he was still his normal male self wandering around and doing odd chores on his day off. And it was so relaxing he didn't have time to panic about the fact that he'd pretty much agreed to give dating Spike a try.

At least he forgot to panic until the door opened about fifteen minutes after sunset, admitting a very handsome and very pleased looking vampire.

'Shit,' Xander thought, peering at him from the doorway to the backroom, 'I totally want to fuck a dude.'