WARNINGS FOR EXPLICIT SEX.
This is what I WANTED to write when I was working on the drabble that turned into "Gross Conjecture" but the guys just didn't want to cooperate with me; first Zoro wasn't ready to take it to the next level, and then Luffy was too upset and pissed off over the whole possibility of a pregnant Sadi to be very interested in sex anyway. So I guess that makes this an apology fic for et3rnalm3mories - I still feel bad for inflicting you with that horrible angst - AND anybody else who's been waiting for me to stop torturing these poor bastards.
And if the beginning of this one reminds you a lot of the last time they tried to do this, which obviously ended very badly, just give 'em a chance. They're getting a little further along each time they give it another shot, but it's definitely not a matter of them just picking back up where they left off- and I really don't believe in that "healing power of sex" bullshit when dealing with rape victims, so that's why I'm not making it easy. Although they're kind of getting the hang of it again by the end.
xxx
Sprawled on his side with Zoro's leg hooked over his hip and the swordsman panting harshly into the shell of his ear as he grinds their erections together between the taut muscles of their stomachs, Luffy's thinking that maybe, just maybe, tonight will be the night that they finally breach the frustratingly imperceptible yet undeniably real barrier that's been driven between them- until he makes the tentative effort to introduce a second lubricant-slick finger into his lover's body and the older pirate suddenly freezes up, blunt nails digging into the captain's ribcage and back as he utters a breathless cry of protest.
"ST-STOP! STOP-STOP-STOP-STOP-STOP!"
There's no mistaking the sharp note of fear in his first mate's voice, and he backs off immediately despite the strong pang of despair that blurted litany of barely-contained panic sends through his heart, not only withdrawing his intruding fingers but also conscientiously relocating his hand to rub soothingly at the small of Zoro's back.
"Too much?"
"I-I just- yeah..." The swordsman's trembling all over, face now buried against the side of his neck, but he already sounds more frustrated than frightened - Luffy can't help feeling cautiously optimistic because an annoyed lover's far preferable to a terrified one - and he hasn't attempted to scramble free of the arm curled loosely around his waist OR erupted into a frenzy of flailing limbs OR hurled either of them off the bed. "Sorry, you asked and- I thought I could- but- damn it, I'm sorry."
"Zoro doesn't have anything to be sorry about," he murmurs, nuzzling his cheek against green hair and stubbornly ignoring the throbbing ache that's taking hold in his groin at being deprived of the friction and pressure that was lost as soon as his lover's arousal was overridden by anxiety.
"Shit. You're still hard, aren't-" Zoro gives a muffled grunt of surprise as he's prodded rather forcefully in the thigh and eases back a bit to peer between their bodies, his mouth quirking slightly in amusement at the sight of the rubber man's rigid cock straining involuntarily towards him despite the look of chagrin and embarrassment on Luffy's face. "Yeah, you definitely are. Do you want me to...?"
"Nah, it'll go away by itself." He rolls onto his back, making a face when his erection persists in pointing cheerfully at the ceiling and earning soft laughter from the older pirate beside him.
"You sure? I could..."
The lightest caress along the underside of his shaft, and he shudders, closing his eyes so he can't see the way his swordsman's tongue-tip is gliding between his slightly parted lips, because he's determined to restrain himself- it's not fair if only one of them feels good, and despite his lover's sudden display of sexual aggression, the captain can still sense the hesitation and lack of confidence beneath the surface, and even now he can't help noticing that the older man's still refusing to touch him with his disfigured hand, although using his good one's forcing him into what looks like a rather uncomfortable position.
"No, it's oka- nngh!"
Fingers have wrapped firmly around him and given an experimental tug, making him buck helplessly into the other pirate's curled palm, and it takes all his willpower to reach down and carefully pry that accommodating hand away, his tone turning gently scolding. "It's getting really late and I'm kinda tired, so let's just stop and go to sleep, okay?"
"This part of you sure doesn't seem tired." But Zoro reluctantly allows himself to be dissuaded - much to Luffy's co-mingled relief and disappointment - and settles down against him, fingers toying idly with the rough skin of the starburst-shaped scar on his chest. "... you don't have to worry about me, y'know. I like being able to make you feel good, especially since I keep giving you such a hard time whenever you try to get ME off..."
"I know, and Zoro does make me feel really, really good, but he shouldn't make himself do anything he doesn't want to just 'cause he feels bad."
The reprimand earns him a lopsided smile that's slightly diminished by the shadows in his swordsman's eye. "Oh, I want to, alright- my stupid body just doesn't cooperate."
"Zoro's not stupid; he just needs a little more time."
"That's what you said the last time we tried this, Luffy, so how long-"
"And last time Zoro freaked out and threw me across the room when I tried using just ONE finger, but this time he was okay 'til I tried to do two, so he can't tell me he's not getting better."
"Great," Zoro mutters bitterly, gaze darting away. "So maybe by this time NEXT year, we'll have worked our way up to three. At this rate, you'll have found One Piece, the shitty cook'll have found All Blue and Nami will finish her goddamn world map by the time you can stick your dick up my ass without getting your head knocked off your shoulders when I flip out and try to kill you."
"If that's how long it takes."
"You're-" A brief internal struggle contorts the older pirate's face. "Really, Sencho, why do you put up with this shit? You can't have sex with me - not really, not the way we both want - and I'm never gonna be any goddamn good to you in a fight if I can't stop dropping Kitetsu. My fucking hand-"
"Does Zoro really need to ask?" He reaches for his swordsman's right hand and brings it to his lips, refusing to let go when his lover immediately balls it into a fist and tries to pull away. He eases the remaining fingers open and blows warm breath against the calloused palm, favoring each digit with deliberately slow kisses before turning his attention to the scar tissue itself and addressing it with even greater care and affection. "I love Zoro, and I love every part of him, including this. I don't like that it happened, but now it's part of what makes him Zoro."
"Luffy-"
The captain twines their fingers together as best he can and guides their hands down so his first mate's cupping the ridge of scar tissue spanning his own abdomen, finally flat and firm with re-developed muscle after nearly eleven months of intensive strength-training and toning exercises. It's almost startling, how it's taken so long for the last traces of puffiness and distension to dissipate, and although Luffy knows better, there's a small part of him that's sad to see it gone, because it's still all too easy to remember how his swordsman looked during second-trimester pregnancy- all big-bellied and sleepy-lazy and sprawled carelessly on this same mattress. When his body was responsive and eager to be touched, and he didn't shrink away from the hands reaching for him like he still sometimes does now.
Zoro's too thin... he spends all day in the gym, and Sanji and Chopper say he's still not eating enough...
"I love all of Zoro," he says again, softly, tracing their clasped fingers along that raised seam. "This too."
His voice has dropped even lower, husky with emotion, and Zoro gives a faint, equally-shaky sigh, leaning his forehead against the rubber man's neck.
"... yeah." And then even more quietly. "... love you too."
They're both silent for a while, lost in their own thoughts, and then Luffy raises his free hand to trail his knuckles over the green-haired pirate's chest. "... does Zoro wanna go get a shower? His butt probably feels all slimy from the lube."
"A little, but-" His lover stifles a yawn. "Mmph. It can wait. We got the room for the rest of the night, right? Might as well use the bed and get some sleep while we can."
"'S really comfy," the younger man agrees, wrapping his arms securely around the swordsman's torso as he shifts to give Zoro more room to stretch out beside him. "Maybe - when Zoro's better - we could get our own?"
"Might be waiting a while then, but... I think I'd like that."
xxx
It doesn't take long for them to doze off; despite being fully healed, in body if not necessarily in mind, and having regained his former physique, Zoro still tends to tire rather easily when stressed, and Luffy's extremely comfortable and more than content to fall asleep with his swordsman's head pillowed against his shoulder.
xxx
He's dreaming, something about steaks and drumsticks and cutlets slipping past in an endless parade of meat that he can't quite seem to catch no matter how fast he runs, when he's roused from sleep by his first mate's low groan and writhing body.
Blinking groggily, Luffy grasps the older man's shoulder to shake him awake - he knows Zoro will be annoyed and embarrassed with himself, just as he's been the last few times he's done this, but they've both agreed that a few moments of awkwardness is much preferable to repeating the events of that godawful night back on Water Seven - and promptly arches, gasping, because his lover's somehow managed to crawl on top of him, and there's slick pressure forcing itself against the head of his newly-returned erection.
"Zoro- Zoro, wake up!" Panic floods through him, because there's nowhere to go but up and that will drive him right into-
His swordsman makes another needy sound and pushes, and the rubber man immediately releases him and claws for purchase in the rumpled sheets to keep himself from grabbing for the hips working insistently against him and struggling to keep his own flat against the bed, because puckered flesh slippery with lubricant from earlier this evening has parted under the tip of his cock and started sinking down around him.
"Z-ZORO, oh-oh god, WAKE- ahh~!"
He knows the instant Zoro's conscious and aware of what's happening, because the older pirate's eye flies wide open and he bolts upright, forcing loud cries of surprise from them both as his sudden movement plunges Luffy deeper.
The captain clenches his teeth, tendons straining in his neck and forearms as he fights the urge to thrust into the tight heat surrounding him, his voice raw with intensity and the knowledge that in one brief moment, they've probably undone the tenuous trust and intimacy they've slowly regained. "Don't- nngh- move or I won't be able to-"
"Wha-What- oh- oh my god-" The swordsman's trembling above him, barely supporting himself with quivering arms, and only the pure horror and dismay on his dreadfully white face keeps Luffy from losing control, because even those faint shudders are translating into pulsing contractions around his aching length. "S-S-Sencho?"
Panting, he knots his fingers tighter around their fistfuls of bedding. "Zoro- Zoro was dreaming and..."
"You- I was dreaming about you-" Zoro gasps, tensing as Luffy's cock twitches forcefully. "O-Only it was really you, and not- not-"
Not the version of me that holds you down and- He swallows hard, conflicted, because it's wrong and it scares him, but recalling what he knows about the nightmares is raising the horrible impulse to flip his lover over and drive into him fast and hard until his first mate screams his name, and he'd never, ever, ever in a million years even consider doing it - not knowing what he knows - but his balls are drawn up tight against his body and he's so hard and he's INSIDE ZORO.
"-not the other one. And we were-"
"Off," the Straw Hat captain moans. "Zoro needs to get off- no- no, wait, I mean, off ME, because he feels really good and I want him really, really bad and if I start moving I'm not gonna be able to stop, but if I DON'T start moving I might die 'cause I feel like I'm gonna explode 'cause-"
"M-Maybe-" His swordsman's voice sounds very small and unsure. "Maybe if we stay like this, with me on top..."
"I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to hold sti-"
"You don't- you don't have to, as long you don't-"
Try to flip you over and screw your brains out. Luffy tries not to wince, cursing himself for his earlier thoughts. "Only if Zoro wants-"
"I-I want. I'm tired of being scared of something that I shouldn't be, and-" They both draw in sharp breaths as he eases himself down until his rump's resting on the rubber man's hips. "Nnn... you can make it feel good- I know you can."
"Can I-" He bites his lower lip as Zoro cautiously draws back up, brow furrowed in concentration and apprehension. "Can I touch Zoro?"
"What, 'cause you're not already touching me?" The older pirate jokes weakly, a faint whimper escaping his throat and fear flickering briefly across his face as he slides down, taking his lover a little deeper this time. "Yeah. Just- just don't grab at me too much, okay?"
"I won't," Luffy promises, untangling his hands from the sheets and raising them to lightly clasp his swordsman's torso, bypassing the semi-hardened cock that's rubbing against his lower belly because while it's a good sign that his lover hasn't gone completely flaccid despite his obvious consternation, he doesn't want to rush and inadvertently spook him. He settles for ghosting his thumbs over his first mate's sensitive nipples and feeling immensely pleased when his touch produces a soft, throaty rumble that's got nothing to do with resistance and everything to do with sex.
Even so, there's several minutes of awkward maneuvering until they find a suitable rhythm - Zoro can't seem to stop faltering on his down-strokes and Luffy's hesitant to help him because he doesn't want to move too fast - but eventually the swordsman starts gaining confidence that he's not going to hurt himself and that his captain's content to let him take his time, half-lidded eyes watching his face closely for signs of discomfort and hands resting on his hips without pinching or urging him to speed up.
"Here, let me-" He shifts, finding a new angle, and he knows it's the right one, because the older man's suddenly clapping a hand over his own mouth to muffle the strangled cry that's bursting from him as he plunges his hips down forcefully, forcing a grunt from his younger partner as he reaches up to gently pull his fingers away. "Oi, it's okay- Zoro doesn't have to h-hold it in..."
"L-Luffy-" His lover shudders, biting his lower lip as his captured extremity's coaxed down his chest and belly to wrap firmly around his now full-standing erection. "Luffy, I can't-"
"Nobody's gonna hear Zoro but me, and it's okay for him to let me know that he feels good. It's okay for him to feel good."
It's been a constant stumbling block since his swordsman's time in Impel Down, this reluctance of Zoro's to make any noises of pleasure but fast, harsh breathing and the barest, faintest acknowledgment that he's enjoying himself. He was never particularly loud during sex to begin with, but now he's even more difficult to gauge, because he'd rather leave toothmarks on his own hand and arm - and has done so on more than one occasion - than let anyone know that whatever's being done to him feels good.
Zoro didn't want HER to know, Luffy amends silently as he leaves the green-haired pirate's trembling fingers stroking away with feverish intensity and returns to running both hands over his sweat-dampened torso. He tried to hide it for so long that now he can't help it anymore.
"Sencho-"
The fear and self-loathing and confusion in that voice makes his chest hurt.
"It's okay. It's okay- I'm here, and Zoro's making me feel really good, and I want him to feel really good too."
He's learned that it helps when he talks out loud, which isn't always easy to do when he's half out of his mind with pleasure and is incredibly, extremely difficult right now - Zoro- I'm inside Zoro and he feels so good and this is where I belong, this is like coming home and we fit together just right, Luffy and Zoro, captain and first mate, and oh-oh-oh, I love- I love-love-love Zoro - but it calms his swordsman's frazzled nerves.
"Lu-Luffy~" The older man's voice is a low moan, thick with hesitant want, but he's moving so steadily now that Luffy's temptation to rock into him has faded somewhat, placated by the slick, hugging pull and slide that's sending little sizzling tremors of pleasure through his groin and thighs, although it's now replaced by the desire to lean up and kiss his swordsman like a drowning man struggling to the surface for one last gulp of air. But he knows Zoro might mistake it for an attempt to force him down on his back, and it's taken too long to get to this point to jeopardize it now, so he settles for reaching up to caress his lover's clenching jaw, gently cajoling him to look down.
"Zoro- mmm, Zoro wants to come, doesn't he?" He smiles, holding back a laugh of delight when his question's answered with a gulp and an eager nod. "Good, 'cause I want him to come, and when he does, he's gonna feel so good, and he should, 'cause he's been so brave and tried so hard and he deserves to feel good."
His fingertips trail back down, brushing stiff nipples, tracing the firm lines of tense pectoral and then quivering abdominal muscles, and his first mate's body responds instantly, squeezing him more firmly as Zoro's movements become almost frantic, and the captain's almost holding his breath - now, now, Zoro, now - but then he realizes the swordsman's features are twisting into a frown.
"Zoro-?"
"I can't- I'm right- right there but I CAN'T!"
His hips snap, jerking harder with frustrated need, and Luffy gives a startled cry, because he's suddenly on the edge and fighting to hold back.
"Wah, sl-slow down! Zoro- Zoro, stop, before I-!"
Concentration blown, the older pirate loses rhythm, hand pausing on his cock. "What did I- am I doing something wrong-?"
"No-no-no, Zoro's doing everything right! It's just-" He utters a sheepish laugh, petting his lover's sides. "Zoro feels so good, he almost made me come."
A blink of confusion. "Uh, aren't you supposed to, dummy? Isn't that the whole point of doing this?"
Joy blossoms in the rubber man's chest, because Zoro's using that old familiar sarcasm, and he's doing it while straddling his captain's hips, body still rocking slowly and unconsciously as he scowls down at him, and everything is going to be alright- THEY are going to be alright.
"Zoro first," he insists. "If Zoro doesn't come, then I'm not going to either. We're gonna do this together or not at all."
His swordsman grunts, looking away, but that's okay, because he's stroking himself again, and Luffy can see clear liquid beading and smearing between his fingers.
"Heh, Zoro likes that, doesn't he? Thinking about us coming together?"
"..."
Keep talking, keep saying his name- the nightmare Luffy doesn't talk to him at all, and SHE calls- called- him Roronoa, and you know 'cause he told you, but he also said he was dreaming about YOU, so don't let him forget who's making love to him...
A matter of moments and they're back to where they were before: Zoro caught on the edge of orgasm and unable to escape the plateau his body's reached, and Luffy trying valiantly to hold himself back just long enough to let him go first.
"This isn't- this isn't working," his lover, who's gone straight from merely frustrated and annoyed to downright angry, growls after they've stopped and restarted a few more times. "I wanna- ha, I wanna come so fucking bad, but I just can't- damn it, Luffy, do something! Gimmie a push, fuck me, do ANYTHING, just make me-"
"No Haki," the captain scolds sharply, and then more gently. "Zoro's gonna do it by himself. I'll help, but I can't make him feel good that way, with Haki, 'cause it's cheating and it doesn't count if I force him. He can do it all on his own, I know he can, and that's what he's gonna do."
"Sencho-"
"Shhh. Zoro needs to watch me. He needs to see how good he makes me- that's right, watch my face. Here-" He catches the hand that's not busy in front, guides it determinedly behind the swordsman's back to where their bodies are joined, ignoring the other pirate's protests that it'll be worthless expecting him to do anything with that one because Zoro's reluctance to use his disfigured hand is another unfortunate habit they need to break. "Mmm, see how hard I am inside Zoro? That's how good he makes me feel."
His first mate hesitates, studying his face with concern, but he starts cautiously exploring the engorged shaft of Luffy's cock and the slippery ring of muscle that's stretching to accommodate him, and the rubber man's able to let go, because Zoro's fitting his index and middle fingers on either side of his base, squeezing and holding him in place as he redoubles his efforts, little moans and gasps and whimpers escaping the older man as his hand memorizes the sensation of his lover's body sliding in and out of his with each powerful flex of his hips.
"Zoro's so tight and wet, and he makes me feel so good I can't think straight-"
"..."
"-and he's so hard too, and I like watching him touch himself and next time I want him to make love to me-"
"... Sencho-"
"-because I can't stop looking at Zoro and thinking about him being inside me, all hard and slippery and making me feel good that way too..."
"Sencho- Luffy, Luffy, I'm- I'm going to-"
"Yeah, that's right- Zoro's gonna come for me, and he's gonna come so hard, and he's gonna make me come too, inside him, and-"
He feels the moment his lover's tension breaks even before Zoro cries out, green-haired head rolling back on his shoulders as the orgasm bursts through him, because the swordsman's body goes almost painfully tight and his abdominal muscles cramp and flex and spasm under Luffy's petting, stroking hands. The older pirate arches, shuddering and writhing, and the hot fluid spilling over his pumping fist alternately jets and drips onto the captain's chest and belly, and then, even though he's clearly overstimulated - jaw clenching and brow contorted into a grimace - he refuses to stop riding the rubber man's hips with fierce abandon, each downward plunge accompanied by a gasp or whined utterance of his lover's name.
"Luffy, I- oh, oh-oh-oh god, Lu-LUFFY-!"
"Zoro~" He croons back, fingers sliding over his first mate's flushing, sweaty skin as he caresses anything and everything within reach: chest and belly, thighs and hips, the wet and still-leaking head of the older man's cock, and THAT wrings more whimpering cries from his partner's throat, and even though he hasn't come yet himself, it doesn't matter, because- "Zoro- oh, Zoro, does that feel good? I think it does, I think Zoro feels really, really good 'cause he came so hard and it's okay and I'm glad- I'm glad Zoro feels good, because he SHOULD, and I want that so much- for him to feel good and know it's okay..."
"Ha~ careful- don't touch- I'm too-" the swordsman pants, his features slackening as he struggles to hold himself upright so he doesn't collapse bonelessly on the younger pirate lying beneath him. "-too sensitive- oh, oh shit, I can't breathe... jeez, Luffy, I- damn..."
"Zoro got carried away," he teases, laughing softly as he relocates his hands to the trembling thighs parted above him. "Mmm, he can't stop shivering, can he? And he's all messy and he made ME all messy, and I like how he keeps getting really, really tight..."
He lets out a shaky hum of pleasure as his cock throbs in agreement, giving an impatient twitch where it's fully buried and waiting for him to finish this.
"O-Oi, didn't you-?"
"No, but if Zoro's too worn out, I'm gonna start moving now, okay?" Luffy warns, the heat in his eyes tempered by the smile still tugging at his lips. "I wanted to let Zoro go first, but- nngh- I don't think it's gonna t-take me real long, not with how he keeps sq-squeezing me."
And it doesn't take long at all, because he's already close to the edge just from seeing Zoro's dazed, relieved expression at finally finding release after struggling with everything for so long, and in four or five strokes - he loses count because he's too transfixed by the ridiculous but incredibly triumphant grin that's stealing over his swordsman's face - he's caught up in the rush himself and reduced to helpless delighted laughter interspersed with gasps and grunts as his body spasms and pulses inside his lover's.
Zoro's chuckling too, deliberately tensing his lower body and rubbing his squirming captain's sides and belly, and if Luffy's hands clutch at his hips a little more forcefully than the younger pirate intends, he doesn't seem to mind.
"Ah, Zoro's doing that on purpose!" The rubber man groans, fingers scrabbling for a firm grip on the pillow behind his head, but even though the pressure's a little overwhelming, he doesn't actually tell his first mate to stop. Not when the other man's watching the reactions he's producing so intently-
It's like Zoro's learning how his body works all over again, and how everything feels...
His swordsman continues cautiously experimenting with him until his softening cock finally slips free, and the older pirate flinches abruptly, making a quiet noise of dismay.
"... Zoro-?"
"No, I'm okay." A wry smile. "I guess I kinda forgot about that whole... what goes in, must- well, you know what I mean."
"Oh," Luffy snorts, but then, as Zoro settles down beside him, leaning his head on his shoulder, the captain's smile dims, replaced by trepidation. "Maybe- maybe it wasn't such a good idea that I- well, inside Zoro. What- what if..."
His lover doesn't answer him right away, and he turns his head to peer worriedly at him.
"Zoro-"
"You heard Chopper. He said the odds of... that... happening again have gotta be- I mean, how many other times did we- before-"
"A lot..." The captain agrees cautiously. "But-"
"We still don't know if it was me- or you, if it was something one of us ate- or some place we've been- or something somebody else did to one of-" He hesitates, frowning. "Nah, forget it."
"Something somebody else did? What's Zoro talking about?"
"Nothing- I was just trying to think of weird shit that happened to either one of us, but a lot of it happened to other people too, so that doesn't make any sense since I was the one who..." He shrugs. "Granted, it's not like any of the other guys are or were doing each other, so I dunno if any of the places we've been have messed any of them up, but- who knows- maybe if somebody screws the shitty cook, it'll happen to him too."
There's something about the way Zoro won't quite meet his eyes that doesn't seem right, like his swordsman's not telling him something, but his intuition tells him it's nothing to do with the baby or Impel Down, so he doesn't push the issue. Whatever it is, he has the feeling that this is something Zoro won't tell him no matter how insistent he gets, and possibly even something that-
Something that happened a long time- no, a few years ago? But if he doesn't wanna tell me yet, that's okay, 'cause there's stuff from back then that I don't really talk about either. Like just how close I was to dying in Impel Down before Bon-chan and Iva-chan saved me, or how I kind of WANTED to die after Marineford until Jinbei reminded me I had a lotta reasons to live.
"-so no," the older pirate's saying. "... I don't think it's gonna happen again."
Luffy knows he should say he's glad, because he still remembers the last time they had this conversation - it was awful and awkward and made him want to go break things - and he hasn't forgotten what Zoro said about not knowing if he could go through the whole thing again without losing his mind, but there's still a tiny spark of longing burning inside him that wishes-
"Sencho?"
He almost jumps at the sound of his first mate's voice, feeling guilty, as though he's been caught thinking something he shouldn't. "Y-Yeah-?"
Who are you kidding? Of course you shouldn't be thinking about wanting another-
"Luffy, what if- I mean, if I would-"
There's a bitter taste forming in the back of his mouth, because he's almost positive he knows what Zoro's going to ask, and he doesn't want to lie- knows he CAN'T- but he doesn't know how to tell his lover that agreeing to let Chopper do a procedure like that would be like cutting his own heart out of his chest and WHY, why the hell didn't he just make Zoro stop earlier or insist on a condom or at least pull out or SOMETHING. Only it'd felt so good, and he'd been so happy knowing he was making Zoro feel good too.
Stupid-stupid-stupid, thinking with your damn dick- and you know if you find out he's pregnant again and he says he doesn't want it, you're gonna be selfish again and try to talk him out of getting rid of it, which isn't fair because it's HIS body that'd have to do all of it all over again and he already said he couldn't handle it, but- it'd still be a baby- yours, both of yours together, and you never knew you wanted something so bad until you found out he was gonna have Ace. And Ace, oh, ACE- how can you possibly love another child as much as you loved Ace- as much as you STILL love him, because he was- he is- YOUR SON and-
He wants to cry. He should be ecstatic; they've finally had sex, real sex, after months of trying to overcome the numerous hurdles caused by his swordsman's mental trauma- not only had sex, but had surprisingly good sex despite the initial difficulties, and all he wants to do is bury his face in the pillow and howl at the unfairness of it all. Or possibly bang it against the headboard a few times in hopes of knocking some sense into his-
"Luffy, c'mon, please- I need to know, 'cause if- if I-" Zoro's now sitting up, peering down at him and looking extremely confused and worried. "I can't- I mean, I couldn't do it by myself and-"
The captain can feel his own face scrunching up as he fights to hold back the tears now threatening to escape the corners of his eyes. "I- I-"
"Shit, I shouldn't have brought this up now. I don't know what the hell's wrong with me, anyway, even thinking I'd wanna have another-"
What-
He can't do anything but stare up at his first mate, the widening of his eyes allowing the moisture in them to escape down his temples.
"Well, jeez, say SOMETHING." There's growing frustration in the older pirate's voice. "I've been thinking about it for weeks, wondering if I'm losing my fucking mind, and I finally suck it up and say something, and now you're staring at me like I grew another goddamn head."
But Zoro does grow another- no, two-
"Z-Zoro wants-?"
"... 'm not sure what the hell I want right now, but I figure if it happens, it happens, right? Only I thought you'd be a lot happier, and you're fucking crying like- wait a second, what the hell did you THINK I said?"
"But I thought- last time Zoro said-"
The swordsman's brow creases. "I said I wasn't sure I could go through the whole thing again."
"R-Right." He can't tear his gaze away from his lover's face, hope and fear and confusion all battling for dominance inside his head.
"And I still don't know how or if it'd work, and there's no way of knowing if it'll even happen again. I just thought if it could, I'd better ask you if you were okay with it. What the fuck, Sencho, did you really seriously think I could ask Chopper to kill our kid if you somehow managed to knock me up again? I couldn't even THINK of doing something like that, not in a million years, not after- after- you know."
Luffy makes a choking sound.
"God, we're both a couple of fucking idiots."
"..."
"Will you SAY SOMETHING, you asshole? I'm sweating fucking bullets here and you're just sort of... looking at me."
The captain's lower lip starts to tremble, and then his entire lower jaw.
"If you're not gonna say something, then I'm gonna go get a shower- and you probably should too, 'cause we both stink like something somebody hauled out of the bar aquarium and Nami's gonna have a fit and decide to charge me for making a mess all over her sheets this time, which is fucking stupid 'cause I'm the one that ends up washing the damn things every time- only this time they're REALLY a mess and I'm sitting in one hell of a wet spo-"
"... ZORO! ZORO-ZORO-ZORO, I LOVE ZORO AND YES-YES-YES, I'M HAPPY AND I'D NEVER EVER EVER MAKE HIM GO THROUGH HAVING A BABY BY HIMSELF 'CAUSE I LOVE HIM AND I'D LOVE THE BABY TOO IF ZORO GOT PREGNANT AGAIN AND-"
"Shhh! Not so loud, damn it! Those asshole downstairs are gonna start banging on the damn ceiling again!" His first mate protests, flailing and trying not to panic as he's tackled into the mattress and peppered with enthusiastic kisses. "Oi, and careful, don't squeeze so tight, you moron or- GAH! Goddamnit, Luffy, get off, get off, you're smearing that gunk on your chest all over me!"
"Zoro put it there, so I'm just giving it back!"
"You little shit! Fine, here, you can have THIS back then!"
"AUGH! EWW, ZORO, HAHAHAHA, STOP TRYING TO WIPE YOUR BUTT ON ME- THAT'S SO GROSS!"
**THUMP THUMP THUMP**
"WILL YOU SHITTY BASTARDS STOP TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER AND GO BACK TO FUCKING SLEEP ALREADY!"