Just a few more islands to the north and then I'm-
Nami shrieks in surprise and nearly spatters ink across her map when her captain, stark naked and dripping water everywhere and clutching his equally bare and wet-haired three-year-old son under the armpits, drops suddenly through the opening in the ceiling to land beside her desk, eschewing the ladder in favor of a much faster route and talking a mile a minute.
"Nami, Nami, Nami, do me a favor and watch Ace 'cause Zoro's waiting for me in the ofuro and he's naked and he said we can have sex - oop, I mean S-E-X - if I find somebody to keep an eye on Ace but I gotta make it fast so he doesn't change his mind and if I'm lucky he'll still be in the ofuro and still be naked when I get back and that's good 'cause I don't think we've had se- S-E-X in WEEKS but Zoro's waiting for me and he's NAKED and we'll be down for Ace in a little bit, thanks, bye!"
Before the startled navigator can process what he's babbling, the younger pirate's dumping his bewildered child into her lap and bypassing the ladder once again as he rockets himself back upstairs. One stretchy arm flings down a tangle of clothing including one small pair of socks, Luffy's shorts and Zoro's haramaki, and then the bathhouse door slams overhead.
Nami and Ace stare at each other.
"Daddy get bath?" He asks her incredulously, looking remarkably like his swordsman father when his brow furrows in confusion, because he's not sure, but he thinks his Captain-Daddy might've gotten a bath already, at the same time Ace got his, and he can't figure out why ANYBODY would want two baths in one day. "He dirty?"
"I guess so," the red-haired woman sighs and starts rummaging through her desk drawer for scrap paper and the box of oversized crayons she picked up at the last port. "Alright, honey, I think your daddies want some time alone, so let's go out on the deck and you can draw me that sea king you were telling us all about at breakfast this morning. The light's better in here, but it's a nice day outside and Franky never did get around to soundproofing the bathhouse ventilation system like I asked."
And Luffy can explain to Zoro why you're wearing nothing but your socks, because I am NOT going up there to hunt down the rest of your clothes.