Author's note: Oh, the joys of pregnancy. Grrr. Going back to sleep now.
xxx
"Oi, Usopp, can you pass me that- ACHOO!"
Hand outstretched and hovering questioningly over the dishes set before him, the sniper winces at the explosively loud nature of his nakama's sneeze, which is violent enough to stall all conversation and draw everyone's gaze down the table to the swordsman seated at the end as they wait for the inevitable string of curses that normally follows such an event.
Sanji, grumbling under his breath about shitty marimos keeping their goddamn germs out of the food, is first gratified to see Zoro's sleeve clamped firmly across his nose- and then slightly alarmed when the green-haired pirate slumps forward until only his forehead's visible above the fabric where he's smashing the rest of his face into the crook of the elbow now resting in the empty space between his plate and Luffy's mug, free arm curled tightly around his middle.
"Ah, Zoro-?"
"You alright there, Haramaki-bro?"
"Oh, jeez- he musta pulled that muscle thing pretty bad this time if he can't even talk."
"Daddy?" Ace asks worriedly, tugging lightly at his father's arm before Chopper - who's rushed around the table to dance agitatedly beside the first mate's chair - can shoo him away. "Did you hurt yourself?"
"..."
Luffy, brow starting to furrow slightly with concern at the older man's continued silence, reaches out to touch the back of his neck with tentative fingers. "Is Zoro okay? Does he need to go lay d-?"
"NO." Zoro growls into his sleeve, his denial tight with distress and embarrassment.
"Then what-?"
There's a very long moment of silence before the swordsman finally turns his head just enough to glare heatedly at his anxious lover, face flushed and voice dropping so low that the Straw Hat captain can barely make out his words. "... I think I just fucking pissed on myself."