I wish I could say this wasn't based on a true story, but- ah, the joys of parenthood.
xxx
"What the fuck?" Zoro demands, mouth twisting in a grimace of pure disgust while he uses his fingertips to pinch his freshly soiled haramaki away from his midsection. "Shit! I thought he was done!"
"Eww..."
"Wow, Sabo, you fart louder than Franky!" Luffy tells the wriggling baby, ignoring his swordsman's continuing curses as the older pirate tries to wrestle free of his clothing without actually letting it touch him. "Oi, Zoro, remember when Ace used to do stuff like that?"
"No way; that's gross!" Ace protests indignantly, his tone making it rather clear that he doesn't believe he was ever responsible for anything quite so repulsive. "Da- DAD, you're making that up! I never fired poo cannons at anybody!"
Slinging his shirt and haramaki across the room into the overflowing basket by the door - and hoping like hell that it's not his turn for laundry duty this week - Zoro reluctantly takes over the diaper change that the Straw Hat captain's laughing too hard to finish. "Are you kidding? I've never had so much shit, piss and spit flung at me in my life. Although-"
He's about to claim he's pretty sure that his younger son's well on his way to outdoing the older, but he's interrupted by Sabo uttering happy squealing noises that sound remarkably like an overexcited puppy. The pint-sized monster even has the temerity to SMILE up at him like he's bloody proud of himself for making such a mess, but there's also pudgy hands waving in his direction and even though the kid just crapped on him, he's also too freaking cute to stay pissed at for long, so the growl in the World's Greatest Swordsman's voice loses most of its vehemence when he glares down and tells the little brat to wipe that damn smirk off his face.