Author's note: So Ace is a bit on the precocious side. Not all that surprising, considering Sunny's crew.

xxx

Zoro garners more than one second glance and a few chuckles when he bustles into the dining hall with an indignantly protesting Ace - "Damn it, Dad, I can walk, so put me down already!" - tucked under one muscular arm and a puzzled-looking Sabo perched on the other and clinging around his neck like a small monkey.

Ignoring his wriggling seven-year-old, the green-haired swordsman scans the room, considering its occupants.

He quickly eliminates Nami as too expensive and Usopp and Chopper as too likely to find themselves fast-talked into something regrettable. Or possibly the origin of it themselves, given their propensity for - along with the absent captain - being the original Trio of Trouble.

Brook? Not after last time.

The shit cook? Forget it. The corner of his mouth quirks slightly in amusement; Sanji still hasn't forgiven him for letting Sabo, who's finally getting enough balance to cruise falteringly around the ship using nearby furniture and the adults' legs to steady himself, yank open the lower kitchen cabinets and drag out all the pots and pans.

Franky's on watch.

Shit. If he can't find someone, he'll have to go back and tell Luffy that-

There's the faint rustle of a page turning and his eyes automatically gravitate towards the sound.

PERFECT. He's not sure how the hell he missed seeing her in the first place. Probably because she's so damn quiet when she's utterly engrossed in what she's reading. Hopefully he won't get his head bitten off for interrupting; the woman can get pretty tetchy if she's reached what she refers to as "the good parts."

Which sometimes makes him wonder just what the hell she's reading anyway.

"Oi, Robin?"

The historian glances up from the kitchen table, casually closing and sliding her book aside to keep it safe from the string of drool that's dangling like a wet pendulum from the baby's lower lip.

Zoro follows her gaze and grimaces, then uses the hem of his shirt to mop the nine-month-old's chin. The kid must be getting ready to cut another tooth or something, the way he's constantly leaking spit and gnawing determinedly on anything he can cram into his mouth, and anyone who holds him these days is liable to find themselves with a dinner plate-sized wet smooch on their front.

And the little monster's also waking up at inopportune moments in the middle of the night, which reminds him why he's standing in the dining hall in the first place.

"Was wondering if you can do me a favor? I'll find a way to pay you back."

Robin glances down at Ace, who's stopped struggling and apparently resigned to dangling from his father's arm like an awkward piece of baggage. He returns her gaze with bored indifference.

"Could you, ah-"

"Watch the children while you spend some quality time with our captain? Certainly."

Her ability to read people and situations at a glance has long since ceased to amaze him, although he's still not quite sure just how the hell she does it. "Uh-"

The boy under his arm reaches up and pokes him in the armpit hard enough to make him jump, squirming free when his grasp automatically loosens. He straightens, dusting himself off, and then reaches up to pry his younger brother from Zoro's arms. "Dad, seriously, just GO. You get really grumpy when you're not getting laid and-"

Robin hides a smile with her hand at the sight of the swordsman gaping like a land-stranded sea king before whirling and fixing a furious one-eyed glare on the cook who's seated at the bar counter, staring forlornly at the stubbed-out cigarette resting in the ash tray before him.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TELLING MY-"

"-Dad says you start picking too many fights with Sanji-ani, and then Franky-ani and Nami-aneki get pissed off because you guys break shit." Ace finishes dryly, making a face when he realizes that Sabo is soaking his shirt in a determined attempt to eat his shoulder. "Really, just go. We'll be fine."

"Beat it, Marimo." Sanji smirks. "Last I heard, Luffy was still talking about baby girls."

Chopper giggles. Brook chortles. Usopp and Nami snicker, eyes flashing to Zoro's face to see his reaction, because ever since their stop in Arabasta six months ago, the Straw Hat captain's been talking nonstop about Vivi and Kohza's daughter and casting meaningful glances at his green-haired swordsman until the older pirate threatens to dump him overboard- but to their surprise, their crewmate's not scowling but rather grinning wickedly.

"Yeah, even after I told him that it's HIS turn if he really wants one."

They're all staring at him quizzically now, except for the historian, who's chuckling softly.

"I have no freaking clue if this shit's gonna work going the other way- but I'm sure gonna have a hell of a lot of fun trying." His grin expands, and he's whistling when he strolls back out.

"Quite interesting," Robin remarks into the silence that follows after the door clicks shut behind him. "I wonder if Sencho realizes just what he's gotten himself into, with a promise like that."

"I doubt it," Nami snorts. She tilts her head slightly, considering, and then nudges Usopp's shoulder. "Five thousand beli says he won't be able to sit in his chair for more than five minutes at dinner."

The sniper strokes the scruff on his chin, considering, but to their surprise, it's Ace who speaks up first. "Nah, Dad only looks that happy when he's getting ready to beat the crap out of a really good swordsman. Five says it'll be a week before he can WALK."

"Yohohohoho."

"I believe he's made a very good point."

"Yeah. One that I really didn't need to hear."

"Ace- do you actually HAVE five thousand beli...?"

"Nami!"