He wanted to leave.
In the dark, dingy apartment even as they kissed-he wanted to leave.
It would be easy to take Tim with him and get a house out west, so they could be far away from God and their nightmares. The two of them could pose as brothers until the teen was of legal age. Jason wanted to believe that if he loved him enough everything would turn out okay.
Maybe God could even forgive him.
Not for the people he has killed-no, he understood that the moment he pulled the trigger-but for being happy in this moment. As he held Tim's face in his hands and kissed him, he found a feeling of contentment he didn't know was possible. The anger that consumed most of his life had been set aside for the first time as he pleaded, let me have this.
He was fighting to die and wanted one more happy memory.
Daylight had long abandoned them both, and streetlights did nothing to penetrate the heavy curtains. Eager hands found their way in the dark, exploring where mouths couldn't reach. Tim held on to the older man's strong shoulders, adoring the feeling a hot mouth on his neck. He welcomed Jason's advances without a moment's hesitation or protest, trusting the man completely.
One hand pushed up his shirt while the other gripped the headboard to steady his position. Their hips fit together beautifully, and the teen's skin warmed at the thought. As the former Robin left delicate kisses over Tim's stomach, it was the first time he thought of the boy as his. They stopped for only a moment to completely remove Tim's shirt, the fabric pulled away easily.
Calloused hands pulled his chest to the older man's awaiting mouth, taking a nipple between his lips. The teen gasped as the sensitive nub was nibbled on. Pain of sharp teeth on tender flesh only heightened his pleasure. Moaning as the other was pinched lightly between forefinger and thumb.
The man's tongue moved in slow circles, drawing out the moment as much as he could. He wanted Tim to enjoy this. A part of Jason wanted to ask if the boy had done this before, but was afraid of what might be the answer.
Tender skin under his palms felt jagged and wrong. He stopped abruptly at the unexpected feeling, pulling away from his partner to turn on a bedside lamp. A dull yellow light washed over where burns and blades left their marks on the boy's body. Realizing what he was seeing, the teen covered his shame with a sheet.
Tim was afraid of him and inched away as if expecting violence. Old wounds played in the light.
He grabbed the boy's arm gently, feeling the muscles tense at his touch. "I'm not going to hurt you." He urged in disbelief that he would even consider it. As if he would throw him out like a defective product. He drew the teen into his arms and reassured him that he didn't mind the scars.
The teen bit his lip, his guilt couldn't wait a single second more. It would completely shatter what they had made, but he had to know what was happening. "Jason, I haven't been honest with you as I should have been." Tim started to say, and wanted it to be over as soon as possible.
The older man shrugged, and said "Neither have I." It was front to make him feel better, but it was comparing an ocean to a puddle.
He found a crushed cigarette in his jeans and raised it to his lips. "You…You don't have to confess anything to me." So I was right, he is using me. He thought as a lighter flashed to life and quickly died. If it helped the boy live another day, he didn't mind what happened. He would swallow the pain and play along.
Tim's temper soured at how the man could dismiss his pain so easily. "How can you say that? I owe you-"
"You don't owe me a damn thing!" He screamed and the boy flinched again. Regret rose like bile in Jason's stomach. "I'm sorry, I didn't-" He was quiet for a moment to think. "What I'm trying to say is that, I don't want to lose you." He said wanting to hold onto the first moment's of peace he's had in forever. Green eyes flicked to the boy's face, and just as quickly turned away.
"Then keep me until the morning." Tim offered and the man arched a brow.
One last stay of execution, come the dawn they would lay all the cards on the table. They agreed that there would be no more secrets, no more lies from either of them. Maybe in that span of time they could forge something that would survive that much torture. He didn't need the lies or his 'other self' to keep him.
Jason was showing hints of shying away again as the teen lined his jaw with kisses. "You don't have to do this." He said again, giving him another chance to let the former Robin sleep on the couch. Tim smiled at him warmly, "I wouldn't be here if I didn't love you."
The older man's eyes widened at the unfamiliar words and he reddened slightly. He had never considered that possibility. Years spent assuming the worst and he was never so glad at the chance of being wrong.
The former Robin crushed their lips together in a passionate kiss. Maybe this could work. Their mouths parted with a reluctant 'pop' and he said "Despite how much I try to deny it, I can't help but love you too." Reservations melted like snow in spring, and the teen was strengthened by love and how soon he would be free of his guilt. They would survive this and nothing could stop them now.
The boy gave a playful smirk and hooked his fingers on the belt loops of his lover's jeans, suggesting they return to their previous position. The teen seemed to blossom before his eyes, becoming strong and confident in an instant. While he was surprised at this side of him, Jason was finding it hard to resist.
A hand followed a line down the boy's chest to rest on his stomach. There was a flicker of something akin to doubt as the man glanced at him. Licking his lips seductively, Tim took his hand and pressed it to the bulge between his legs. He laced their fingers together and ground his hips into his lover's warm palm. Turning his head to the side, he whimpered in anticipation.
Jason's mind went blank with want. The situation was as dangerous as it was delicious.
They kissed again, this time welcoming the feeling of the man's tongue fighting his own. The teen's zipper was pulled down and he helped his lover with the buttons. A deep blush spread over Tim's cheeks as fingertips traced the delicate skin of his shaft. He'd never been touched before and now to have his idol's hand stroking him…It was enough to drive someone mad.
His length twitched and swelled in his too-tight grasp, the speed wasn't fast enough to give him release. A line of precum leaked from the tip, soiling his lover's hand. Jason licked a drop off his thumb and the teen moaned. The wanted the boy naked. Now.
Determined as ever the tight grey jeans were peeled off and angrily thrown to the floor. Underwear was next to go, his erection standing proudly without cotton to hold it back. The former Robin whistled at the sight. Creamy pale skin flushed nice 'n' pink, ruddy at the tip of a curved shaft.
Unconsciously, the teen spread his legs in anticipation. "Jason, hurry…" He pleaded as his lover reached for a bottle off the nightstand. He knew what was going to happen, but he couldn't be impatient and a little nervous.
The older man kissed a spot above Tim's curls as he popped open the lid. He draped a long leg over the man's shoulder and threw his head back when cold lube touched his anus. Two slickened fingers rubbed the puckered slit, teasing him before sliding the longest finger inside.
The boy screamed.
Jason blushed to his ears. Well, that's one question answered.
He was ungodly tight and did his best to stretch him out before adding a second digit. Tim clenched the sheets with both hands and Jay swore that the teen could make someone cum just from the noises he made. The second one was where it started to hurt, he bucked his hips back against the invading fingers as his skin shone with a thin layer of sweat. The switch connecting brain from mouth must have been dislodged at this point as obscenities started to fall from the boy's lips.
"Please…fuck me Jason. I don't care how just…I need your-Oh!"
Jason sunk his teeth into a supple thigh to make him quiet. If he didn't stop, the boy would end up ball-gagged and duct-taped to the headboard. Dirty talk always bought out the fetishist in him.
The third finger was a hard push, and green eyes rolled back at the thought of such tightness around his engorged length. Tim was ready for him now, but he kept thrusting because he liked hearing him scream. He touched a tender place in the boy's body as he was rewarded with a face full of his seed.
Tim apologized, horribly embarrassed over losing it so early. "I'm so sorry! It felt so good and I just-" He grabbed some tissues to clean it off. But seeing his face like that… A shot of hot seed across his cheek and some had even dribbled onto Jason's swollen lips. The teen chose to lick it off.
He started with a fat drop by his eye and worked his way up from his jawline, moaning at the taste. Rosy lips were last and the man's self-restraint broke instantly. Grabbing a fistful of dark hair, he crushed their mouths together with a possessive growl. The kiss didn't last as the teen was thrown back down onto the bed.
Jason's hands made short work of his belt and he cursed at not undressing sooner. Damn it, he was still wearing his jeans and boots!
Tim toyed with the squeeze bottle and watched his lover undress with great interest. More scars followed with every article removed and black boxers were pushed down like they were on fire. He poured the vanilla-scented oil on his hands and admired the nude body in front of him.
Now the teen took pride in his fitness, but he wasn't the wall of muscle Jason was. He had the urge to see that in combat, but now wasn't the time. The former Robin was so hard it hurt.
The throbbing shaft was a painful purple with his testes rising to the occasion. The warmed lube barely helped as he generously coated the massive length. This was going to be either mindblowingly incredible or extremely painful.
The cap clicked shut and the former Robin pounced. Standing on his knees on the bed, he lifted the boy's hips and wrapped his legs around his waist. Tim screamed as his cheeks were spread and a burning rod was forced inside him. From the tip to the hilt, it stretched him as he wide as could go. Of course it hurt, but it was wonderful once he started moving.
In a few short thrusts, his lover found that sensitive place inside him that left him sobbing in pleasure. His length stirred to life at the sheer intensity of what Jason was doing to him. The man was a far cry from his earlier shyness, holding the boy's hips for dear life as he fucked him into submission.
Tim held on to whatever he could get his hands on as the bed rocked underneath him. He didn't know he would feel it so deeply inside. His former hardness returned with full force at the chance of cumming on the former Robin's chest. He was so close that he could taste it. His usual eloquence was in tatters as he tried to express what was happening to him. "I-I'm gonna…Oh, Jason!"
He apparently understood when he said "Me too, baby…Hold out a little longer…" Jason was surprised he lasted so long, a sixteen year old's ass shouldn't feel this good. The boy clenched him with every hit to the prostate and made him see stars.
Tim could take it anymore and came for a second time, even harder than before. Toes curled as he cried out, spilling everything over both their chests. His lover's grip tightened one last time as he came deep inside him, with a scream that matched Tim's volume. Jason wouldn't stop cumming until his seed ran down to follow the curve of the boy's firm rear.
They stayed in place, gasping for breath. The former Robin lied down next to him and rested his sweaty forehead on Tim's shoulder. It was sweet how Jason held him despite the heat. "Are you okay?" He asked suddenly.
Tim was confused, the tone came out of nowhere. "Of course I am-I mean, I'll probably be a little sore in the morning…" He trailed off, not sure what was going on.
The former held him tighter now, pressing him against his chest. "I just want you know how much I care about you…and that I love you." He sounded sleepy and was already starting to nod off.
…
Tim stretched in bed without even opening his eyes. Sunlight warmed his nude skin, and he couldn't remember the last time he slept in so late. All that time in the dark helps you forget these kinds of things.
Sheets bunched around him as he snuggled back into the warmth, wanting a few more minutes of rest. Lazily, he felt the sheets for his lover to ask for a good morning kiss. The bed was colder than it should have been.
He was suddenly wide awake, and saw that Jason wasn't in the room. Fear gripped him as he called out into the apartment. There was a chance he was wrong, but there was still no answer. Abandoning modesty, he left the bedroom and found the place almost empty. The weapons and ammunition from before were missing, along with the helmet Jason was working on.
Tim was cold, but not because of the lack of clothing.
The former Robin left no note for him, but there was a suitcase with his name on it. Tim crossed the room quickly to the object resting innocently on the dining room table. Inside there was the lease to the apartment, passports, credit cards, and information regarding overseas accounts. He was given a blank ticket to be whatever he wanted, to have the happy life Jason couldn't.
Tim swallowed the hurt and set it back down. He had to go back to Bruce and tell him what happened, but before that there were things he had to do. The teen was going to break his code of an impartial investigator. The only chance Jason would have in court was if certain things were omitted from the case. The first place he went to was the shower, and turned it on as hot as he could stand. There were medical tests his mentor could force him into.
He scrubbed away the man's sweat and seed from his body, daring not to miss an inch of skin. He refused to be the evidence that damns him.A purple hickey marred his inner thigh and while the memory was pleasant, he would need to find make-up later.
The sheets were burned in the tub with the help of a misplaced lighter and a bottle of machine oil. Papers were taken from the trash and burned along with it. It gave the illusion that the sheet was a red herring.
There was a piece of paper that looked more recent, scribbled out and crumpled into a ball. Sentences started and stopped, all saying things like I hope you'll understand someday, and this is something I have to do. One that wasn't scratched out was only two words long.
I'm sorry.
Tim knew he shouldn't be upset for being lied to, not after everything that he's done.