A/N: Behold! The shark jumpery has begun!
Michael Bay After Day Dept.
Sonic sighed as he looked at the list he had in his hand. He had written down 20 things to do in his hotel and he could think of 4 he could do at the moment. Oh, he was also sitting at the same table he had been sitting at since breakfast, the bowl in front of him having his seventh bowl of Frosted Flakes.
"I could eat Frosted Flakes from a box with nothing but the words on it," he said to himself, then remembered that he had been, so he crossed it off. "Hmm... Yeah, I'm stumped." Sonic looked at his watch. "Almost lunch. Tails should be up by now." He sighed and added, "I'm going to have to do it myself."
Sonic got up, fell straight down for his legs had fell asleep, got up again, brushed himself off and went to Tails's room. In there, Sonic saw the little kitsune asleep, his workbench Tails had taken in having a strange cube on.
Sonic went beside Tails.
"Hey, buddy, wake up," Sonic whispered to Tails.
No reaction from Tails, except a small ear twitch.
"Tails, wake up," Sonic said, a little louder.
Tails's ear twitched a little more.
Sonic sighed. "WAKE UP!" Sonic shouted.
Tails's left arm went up to Sonic, felt around his chest, then up to his face and felt for the middle. When Tails's arm found the middle of Sonic's face, Sonic received ab admittedly painful punch right to the nose.
Sonic fell back from the blow, shocked that Tails was that strong, fell on a piece of wood that was under Sonic, the other end of the board flew up, a hammer that had been there flying towards the cube.
Tails's immediately flew awake, dove out of bed, grabbed the hammer and threw it back to where ti had came from, which is where Sonic was getting up.
When Sonic saw the hammer, he yelped and quickly dove to floor as the hammer lodged itself in the wall.
After all the commotion, Sonic finally got up, with help from Tails.
"Haven't I told you not to wake me up in the mornings?" Tails asked, sounding just as annoyed as Shadow did the other day.
"It's four in the afternoon," Sonic growled, putting a hand to his nose to try and stop bleeding.
"Exactly," Tails snapped.
"Anyways, I might as well ask you," Sonic sighed. "What is that cube thingy?"
"Oh, after Transformers, the Michael Bay version," Tails explained, picking up the cube with both hands, "I decided to create a device to link the gap between humans and machines. I'm almost done, you know."
"Fascinating," Sonic scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"Hey, Sonic, can I ask you something?" Tails asked, putting the cube back down.
"Fire away, buddy."
"Why did you call me hentai yesterday?"
Sonic looked surprised for a second, then decided to answer. "Well, you see, Tails, some old coot ran up to me on the street yesterday and told me you were hentai."
Tails looked all confused like at Sonic.
"Hey, I believe ANYTHING an old man tells me!" Sonic exclaimed defensively, crossing his arms. "It's a rare medical condition." Sonic then realized something. "How did you know I called you that yesterday?"
"Hidden cameras," Tails replied nonchalantly, leaning against the workbench. "I have one for every room in this hotel."
"Even Blaze's?"
"Even Blaze's."
"Interesting," Sonic muttered, rubbing his chin. "Anyways, I gotta go now!"
"OK then, Sonic," Tails said, going back to working on his cube.
Sonic went back to his and crossed "Almost get hit by hammer off of his list.
Back with Tails (OMFG, it was one paragraph!), Tails was still working on his cube (it had been about only ten seconds) when Amy came in.
"Hey, Tails," Amy greeted, coming in.
"Hey, Amy," Tails said back, looking at Amy. "Where have you been all day?"
"Getting something for my collection," Amy replied. "Still working on that cube?"
Tails nodded. "It's going smoothly," he said. "All I gotta do is- Say, what is that collection."
"Items from somebody I love deeply," Amy mused. "I really wanna be with that person SO much."
"O-K then." Tails turned his attention back to the cube and began to tighten the last bolt when all of a sudden – BOOM! Knuckles came flying through the wall!
"I DID NOT EAT ALL THE CHEETOS!" Shadow yelled angrily, chasing after the flying echidna.
"As I seem to recall he was the one with the Cheeto fetish," Tails commented under his breath. "But enough of that. Back to the-" Tails stopped short and looked like was gonna throw up.
"Tails?" Amy looked cautiously at Tails.
Tails didn't utter a word as he lifted the cube out from under a huge piece of wall.
"Tails?" Amy asked again, looking concerned.
"All my hard work..." Tails whispered, failing to notice the strange gas coming from the cube. "All my work..."
"Tails that couldn't have taken you-" Amy began, but Tails cut her off.
"I was trying to finish it the same as Transformers 4 in 2012!" Tails cried, looking back down at his cube. "I can't believe it!..."
"I'm sorry Tails," Amy said, looking not the least bit sorry, as she was more-or-less waiting for The Smurfs 2 more. "Say, what's that gas?"
Tails stopped his moping and noticed the gas. "Odd, I don't remember putting any gas in it," he said to himself.
"You didn't put any gas in it?"
"Nope, not at all," Tails said, sniffing the air. "Maybe it was how I made it that made the gas?... nah, that's stupid."
"Are you sure?"
"And you say that why?"
"You look more, eh, robot-y."
Tails looked down at himself and, most assuredly, he looked more robot-y.
"Ah, great!" Tails exclaimed. He looked more annoyed then worried. "It's Strange Idea: Robot tails all over again!"
"What?"
"Just some weird fanfiction where I'm a robot," Tails explained. "It's not one of my best works but, then again, it's not his main project."
"OK then," Amy nodded as she said that last statement and when her head was in the "down" position (and her seat was in the full-up right position) she noticed something, too. "Great Scott! I'm quoting Back to the Future!"
"And besides that, you also look like a robot!" Tails yelled. "This is heavy." (A/N: I'm funny! Really!)
"Speaking of heavy, wouldn't the floor coloaspe under the combined weight of two robots?" Amy asked, looking only a little concerned.
Neither one looked down.
"Look, Amy, I know how the joke goes, OK?" Tails said, putting a hand to his forehead. "We both look down at the exact same time and then the floor breaks. Well, guess what, I'm not stupid, OK?"
The two stood their in silence for a second until Sonic walked by for no reason.
"IS THAT A NICKEL?" Sonic shouted, pointing at the ground.
Tails and Amy both looked down to check and, wouldn't you know it, they fell through the floor.
Sonic looked at the hole in silence for a second. "If you didn't want me to have it, you could've just SAID so!" he shouted down the hole, before angrily walking away.
At the bottom of the hotel, Tails and Amy had somehow fallen into a field, far, far away.
"Dang portals," Amy muttered, getting off of Tails. "I don't wanna think with 'em! I just wanna use 'em!"
"That's besides the point," Tails told Amy. "Right now, we're in the middle of nowhere, with no way of getting back and, whoops, we're screwed!"
"We can get back!" Amy reassured. "All we need is a big rock a ton of 'SpongeBob SquarePants' references!"
"We're never gonna get home," Tails groaned, putting his hands into his face. Then he remembered that he was a freakin' robot. "Amy, I just remembered that I was a freakin' robot!"
Well if you're gonna copy me!...never mind.
"So what?" Amy asked, not really giving a damn (she really hasn't been, has she?). "I found a rock!"
"That's a pebble"
"So what? I'm still a rockstar!" Amy sang, music coming out of nowhere.
"Amy! Focus!" Tails looked just as annoyed as you would in this situation. "I'm thinking the gas somehow mutated our geneatics and we somehow turned into Transformers. All we need is a good veichle and we're home free!"
"We'd better, there's the military," Amy said blandly, pointing behind Tails.
Tails's blood, or maybe oil, froze solid giving off, what else, DULL SURPRISE!
"Great, now I gotta thaw him out!" Amy complained. "That MST3k reference was so lame, BTW..."
Anyways, lame jokes aside, three tanks drove right up to the two animal-robot-things. The one in the front poked Tails with it's gun barrel.
"Robots!" the guy in the tank shouted through the speakers. "We do not allow you're kind here! Please give yourselves up!"
"Dude, get outta the dang way!" one driver yelled to the first guy. "I can't get a straight shot."
"Shut up, man!" the first guy whined. "I'm making a speech."
"Well, you obviously fail at that, they got away," the third tank said, pointing the barrel at Tails and Amy running for their sorry, electronic lives.
"Ah, dang it!" the first guy shouted, climbing out of the tank. He resembled Superboy Prime. "Everything was better on my Earth!"
"Shut up!" the second guy, revealed to resemble a freakish hybrid of Tails and Luigi, exclaimed, climbing out of his tank and tossing a grenade at him.
And then they all died.
BACK TO THE PLOT!
"A used car lot!" Tails said happily as the two walked into the lot. "If we can a good car, we can drive ourselves home!"
"That's nice," Amy muttered.
"Could you please give a damn this chapter?" Tails asked her.
"I'm sorry, what?"
Tails gave an angry yell before getting back to his search.
"'Ello there, my dear boy," a salesperson said, walking up to Tails. "Are you looking for a used vehicle?"
"No, I'm looking for my two front teeth," Tails replied sarcasticly.
"Well, if you're gonna be snappy," the salesperson huffed, starting to walk away.
"Wait, I do need a used car!" Tails told the salesperson. "One that'll get me all the way to Hotel Soniku!"
"I have just the car for you!" the salesperson exclaimed, motioning for Tails to follow as he headed off in the same direction he was going in the first place.
"OK then." Tails looked around for Amy. "Get over here!"
"Fine," Amy said, putting down a kid who had teased her back in the orphanage. (A/N: Bloody Tears reference, BTW.)
"Right over here is the greatest Golden Pinto you'll find – anywhere," the salesperson I shall now call BillyBob explained. "I'm sure you and you're girlfriend'll like it a lot."
"Hey!" Tails and Amy cried in unison. "We're not dating! We just happen to talking in unison!" They got on. "Jinx!"
"Anyways, it's gonna cost you about $30,000," the BillyBob told the two, arguing over how owes who.
"Excuse me?" Tails asked, giving off, what else, DULL SURPRISE! "I don't have that kind of money!"
"Or a license," Amy commented under her breath.
"I heard that!" BillyBob shouted. "You ain't this car even if the military rushes up and blows the crap out of everything!"
The military rushed up and blew the crap out of everything.
"LAME!" BillyBob, Tails and Amy all said aloud.
"Amy! Tails told Amy, getting over the lamness of my last joke and getting all panicky now." "Scan the car!"
"No!"
"Fine, I'll do it!" Tails looked intensely at the Pinto and, somehow, scanned it. He then turned into it. "GET THE F*** IN!"
Amy complied, caring for once, and Tails sped off, the military in pursuit.
BillyBob stared after them. After a while he whispered, a smile spreading across his face, "My life is now complete."
BACK 2 DA PLOT AGAIN!
"Crap!" Tails said over and over again as he frantically dodged military fire. "These guys are relentless!"
"I know!" Amy agreed, giving, did you expect anything but, DULL SURPRISE! (This joke's getting old, I apologize).
"We need something to throw 'em off!" Tails told Amy. He though for a moment, but then got an idea: "Call Sonic using my OnStar!"
Amy nodded, although Tails couldn't see it all that well, and used the carphone.
A few rings later, Blaze picked up. "Amy, is that you?" she asked, sounding a little mad and a little worried. "Why is it saying you're calling from Tails the Pinto?"
"No time for that, we have an emergency!" Amy then procedded to explain the whole situation to Blaze.
"Got it?" Amy asked after a while.
Blaze was quiet for a moment. "I'm just gonna assume you're off your meds again," she muttered, hanging.
"Ah Grambi!" Amy cried.
"Well maybe if you had tried to explain it better instead of adding that whole acid trip part in the middle," Tails said, in a mockingly nice voice.
Amy growled.
"Anyways, I've already out run them, but we can't be sure," Tails explained. "Hide in that bush over there until I know it's OK to go."
Amy growled again and Tails used his ejector seat to rocket Amy out of the car and into the bush.
Then Sabrina, drunk off her a**, came with some random guy, got in Tails and, well, you know, flowers.
An hour later, Tails was shaking (not too odd for a used car).
"Tails, look at it this way," Amy was trying to comfort Tails, "They say if an egg from Sabrina lands in your fuel tank, you're priceless!"
Tails exploded and formed back into his old self.
Amy was quiet for a moment. "You were not worthy," she murmured darkly.
"Damn it," Tails muttered as well, but noticed something else. "A train! And look, it's tracks go straight to Hotel Soniku!"
"Oh Frabuos day!" Amy cried in, rehashing the same joke again, DULL SURPRISE!
Amy and Tails both ran for the train.
AT TEH TRAIN
"Yep, Zelda," Link boasted, showing the now-spirit Zelda his train. "This here is the finest train in all the lands."
"You've got to be kidding," Zelda scoffed, looking exactly like her CDi self.
"I wish you were more supportive," Link whined.
"Well, it's my princess-attribute of the day," Zelda explained, holding up a calendar.
"Interesting..." Link muttered.
He then got trampled by Tails and Amy
"!" Tails said quickly, scanning the train, getting on the tracks, turning into said train and speeding away.
"Link, you OK?" Zelda asked, looking at Link's dead body.
He turned into a female fairy version of himself.
"Well you could've come back as something dignified," Zelda told Link.
"Well EXCUSE ME, princess!" Link told Zelda.
BACK TO THE SEARCH FOR PLOT
"Faster! Faster!" Amy yelled, for some reason in pleasure.
"I'm trying!" Tails exclaimed, also seeming to be in pleasure.
They were... Wait, wrong fanfiction.
BACK TO BACK THE SEARCH FOR PLOT! (THESE THINGS ARE OVERUSED!)
"Faster! Faster!" Amy yelled, for some reason in pleasure.
"I'm trying!" Tails exclaimed, also seeming to be in pleasure.
They were... Woah, I got strange sense of Deja Vu.
"Why are we in pleasure?" Tails asked.
"I have no idea!" Amy replied, in DULL SURPRISE!
"Anyways..." Tails said, getting back to the approaching military.
"TASTE LASER TIC-TACS!" the military shouted, firing Laser Tic-Tacs, one of which flew into Amy's mouth.
"Minty!" Amy shouted. She smacked her lips, looking a tad confused. "And burning."
The military stopped firing for a second, talked about something, then began firing Tic-Tacs again.
"NO! NOT THE TIC-TACS! THEY BURN!" Amy quoted Ganondorf directly.
"What's with all the quotes?" Tails wondered loud.
"Ha, ha, ha, what a funny story, Tails," Amy quoted Tommy Wiseau.
Tails groaned. "Anyways, what's up ahead. I can't see-"
CHANNEL CHANGE!
"DOODY!" The Nerd interrupted.
CHANNEL CHANGE BACK! (STILL OVERUSED!)
"-like this," Tails finished.
"A bridge," Amy said, still in DULL SURPRISE! (I'm seriously considering retiring this joke.)
"No problem," Tails said, not concerned one bit.
"ARE YOU CRAZY?" Amy screamed. You know, she could've jumped off but she... Y'know, I hear the last A/N just around the corner, so let's just hurry ahead, OK?
So anyways... (A/N: Excuse me, who are calling the LAST A/N?) Excuse me? (A/N: I'm calling you out!) This is really pointless. (A/N: Says you! Take this!) Oof! Why I oughta... (A/N: You think you can- OWCH!) Gah! (A/N: Ugh!) Eef! (A/N: Get away from me!) No way you... You... DOUBLE Ni$%! (A/N: Oh no you didn't!)
"Guys!" Tails and Amy shouted
WHAT! (A/N: WHAT!)
"The plot!"
Oh, sorry... (A/N: I guess I got carried away again.)
Anyways, lets end this.
"What do you plan to do?" Amy asked Tails, frightened out her wits.
"Recreate the end of Back to the Future Part III!" Tails replied, going full speed ahead.
Amy hung on for dear life as the speed increased. The military was confused for a moment, but then put "Don't Stop Me Now" on and continued the chase.
Tails was going 90, 100, 110, 120, A HUNDERED AND THIRY MILES AN HOUR! The bridge was nearing! The Flux Capacitor was was about to go off! The military was catching up! Amy was kept hanging ('cause you know we're gonna make it through)! Tails got to end of the bridge and!... exploded.
"Huh," one member of the military said. "That was weird."
ACTUALLY...
Michael Bay woke up with a jolt.
"What in the... That had to be the weirdest dream I've ever had," he said to himself, breathing in heavily. "But... Why don't I take out everything Sonic related, throw in my own BS and make it into a popular series from the 80's? It's genius!"
"Whatever you say, Michael," Sonic muttered, going back to his hotel room.
"Did he have any sugar?" Blaze asked, searching intently for something.
Sonic opened his mouth to say something, bu no words came out. He then finally said, "He was all out."
A Gold Pinto then crashed through the wall and Amy climbed out.
"YOU HAVE GOTTA TRY THAT CUBE TAILS MADE!" Amy told Blaze and Sonic in a weird hype, running back to Tails's room for more of the stuff.
Final A/N: Not how I wanted to end it, really, but, hey, I at least got it done. My formula for updating, by the way, is gonna be two other pieces of work, followed by some Hotel Sonic. Anyways, review, rate out of ten, I hope you got all the references and, as Edward R. Murrow would said, "Good night and good luck."
DULL SURPRISE!