I never thought it would be like this.
He was sitting at a circular table, hat pulled down over his head to hide his face. A solemn look was cast over his him as his heart filled with sadness. "Son... sit down..." He murmured, tapping his fingers nervously on the table. No sign of movement or cooperation was initiated and a sudden flash of rage took over the father. "I said sit down now!" His hand balled into a fist and he slammed it down on the table, causing John to jump and obey. "John... what were you thinking?"
John swallowed, he watched the table and traced its patterns with his eyes. Various thoughts circled around his head, pinging his throbbing mind with small inflictions of red hot pain. The fact he listened to his father, still now at twenty told himself that he was too used to obeying orders. This place was having effects on his mind, he knew that, but never saw how deeply he despised it until now. He felt sick, seeing his father welled up so many emotions. Pain, regret but mostly, hatred.
His father pulled something made of paper out of the inside of his jacket, taking a pen from his pocket and scribbling something down on the sheets. He ripped it from the rest of the small notebook and pushed it over to John, it was a check made out to him. John scowled. "I don't need your money."
"If you're here, you obviously do." John's father spoke sternly, a hint of regret in his concerned tone.
John glanced over the check, still refusing to make eye contact with his father. He mumbled something under his breath about how the check was useless to him anyway. "What are you trying to do?" He demanded of his father, "Are you trying to make make up for leaving?" HIs voice quivered towards the end.
His father fell silent, "If I was, John...?"
John stood up. "Then forget it. You left Jade and I when we were sixteen, we didn't have anywhere to go, do you realise how difficult that was!?" John's stood, making some of the early morning cleaning crew look up from their duties. John shook his head. "No. You have no idea what I have been through." He spun on his heels and started back towards the stairs.
"Jade is outside, John." These words made John freeze. After moving into a dorm room with Dave for college, he had not spoken to his sister. He assumed she went to college as well and just never sent him any information about it. He had come to terms that it was for the best, once he was out of his predicament he would talk to here again but now...
John swallowed and continued to the stairs, his father murmuring as he left. "I wish I could say I was proud of you, son, I always dreamed I would come back and say those words to you in person."
…
John made his way downstairs after changing his clothes and packing up his things. He nodded to the head administrator, Puppeteer, on the way out to signify he was leaving. He drew in a deep breath, glad the weekend was over. Though he knew he would be back here in just four days, he acted as if nothing was abnormal about him. Noticing his father had left, he headed out into the main bar room and then through the front door. He scanned the street and set off to his usual room back to the dorms.
Suddenly, he was embraced tightly around the shoulders from behind, trembling arms wrapped around him. "J-John..." A voice whispered fearfully. "P-Please tell me it isn't true." It was Jade, from the sound of her voice John could tell she was crying. "J-John...?" She stammered as he pulled away from her grip, turning to face her.
"Look, Jade I..." he started and paused, watching her quietly. She had grown out her hair again, changed the frames on her large round glasses. She had changed, John decided. 'And so have you...' He thought to himself before speaking again. "I... have had to make a lot of really freaking difficult decisions and sacrifices and I-"
"John!" Jade cut in, "You can't rationalize to thinking that... that... this was the right thing to do!" She was at a loss for words, never thinking that a situation like this would arise, especially with her brother.
John flinched at her words, he knew she was right but nothing could erase the mess he had gotten himself into before he had to resort to whoring himself. "Look...Jade I... I can't do anything about it.. I-"
John was cut off by a quick slap to the face, knocking him back in sheer surprise. He clutched his flaming hot cheek and looked at his sister. Tears streamed down Jade's face, and her hands shook. "John you stupid bastard!" Her voice shook with anger as the tears kept coming. "You could of gone to Jane, she practically raised us after dad left, John! What about Dave, or Rose? What about me J-John?!" She was almost screaming at him now, she sobbed into her hands as her glasses fogged up. John stood there, trembling at Jade's words. "Why... is there... any shame in asking for help...?"
"Jade.. I..." He started.
"N-no.." Jade shook her head. " No apologies, John, it's too late for that. You left me, just like dad! You are just as bad as him!" She yelled, causing the air to fall silent between them. John felt the tears stinging his eyes as the pain surfaced, her words were truth. Her sobbing melted into whimpers and she turned her back to John, rubbing her eyes as she walked away. He could say nothing to make her return, even so, knowing this he took one step after her just before she took off running.
…
John entered the dorm room at the end of the day, tossing his bag aside to his bed. The small room consisted of a bunk bed, a desk in the corner and a small bath and shower room. He quickly rummaged through a box of his things, tearing out a textbook and making a beeline for the desk in the corner of the room.
"You were gone for awhile this time..." A voce made John jump, and he looked up to see his roommate Dave Strider leaning against the bathroom door. The blonde was wearing his usual aviators, red sweatshirt and black skinny jeans.
John tore his eyes away from the other. "I need to study Dave..." He mumbled, opening his textbook.
Dave sighed. "Still not going to tell me where you go every weekend, Egbert?" he inquired.
John swallowed. "Work. I keep telling you, I work every weekend..." He answered quickly, scanning over the textbook pages.
"Yeah, whatever." Dave huffed, laying down on the lower bunk and slipped out his laptop. He set it up on his chest, hiding his worry and disappointment behind the computer and his shades. "Thought you were my best bro, John."
John paused. "I-I am Dave!" He took a moment to calm himself. "Look, I keep telling you, I work every weekend to pay for being able to take classes here..."
Dave fell silent for a little bit. "Whatever..." he muttered, slipping on his headphones to tune his roommate out. John... you have no idea... why didn't you just tell me, I would've rather heard it from you... He thought, pretending to put his headphones on.
With his back to Dave, John buried his face in his hands. Tears crept into his eyes and he did his best not to shake. He wished things were different, between his family, himself and most of all Dave. He chased Dave all the way to college, hoping that by some miracle they would end up together. Everything was so messed up and John wished he didn't exist.
…
He couldn't sleep. Laying on the top bunk had always been a problem from the start, he couldn't count the nights he spent escaping the dorms and just walking in the chilled air until he felt tired enough to pass out.
John was lucky enough to have a very deep sleeper for a roommate. He spilled the the ladder, carefully making his way down to the floor. Slipping on a loose pair of pants and t-shirt, he exited the dorm room.
The cold air on his face felt refreshing, and his teeth chattered. John made a right down out to the end of the dorm rooms. He coughed faintly, noticing how weak he felt that night as he made his way to a nearby park a few blocks away.
He coughed again, this time deeper than the first. He shivered and entered the park, heading over to a lonely swing in the dark. He sat down, staring at the overturned sand from the children earlier that day. His head was swimming with thoughts and the pain from that day.
"Egbert...?" a voice inquired from behind him in the dark, John spun around to see Dave; dressed in barely anything except an ironically soft robe and his shades. John tore his eyes away from Dave, giving a heavy cough into his sleeve. "C'mon... it's fuckin' late." Dave sighed, "You sound sick, man. Come back to the room."
John gave a pained, heavy sigh. "Can't sleep." He mumbled and shivered, he was feeling worse as the minutes ticked by. Dave quietly took the swing next to him, giving him a questioning look from behind his sunglasses.
They both fell silent for a while, Dave was the first to speak. "John, look if I was being a complete dickweed earlier you can just tell me."
"No, no..." John shook his head. "No, it's not like that... I just have a lot of stuff on my mind..." He coughed again, this time was the hardest. Dave stood and put a hand on John's shoulder.
"Let's go back, Egbert." John nodded, no longer resisting as Dave helped him stand. He swayed, nearly tipping over. Dave slung John's arm over his shoulder to help him walk and they started off back to the dorms. "You're an idiot, you know that?"
John chuckled, he knew then that he would sleep soundly for the rest of the night.
...