Author's notes:
Okay, first of all... I'm italian, and that's my second fanfiction in english, so I think that there will be a lot of mistakes (mostly verbs) in this fanfiction. I really tried my best, and I would like to improve my english, so every criticism is welcome :)
I hope you like it, I really enjoyed writing this story!
Finally
Powerless.
If someone, in that moment, asked Castiel how he feels, he would have answered powerless.
He was looking at Dean, who, lying on the couch, was doing that thing the brothers winchester told him was called "zapping", while he was just staring at Dean as if he was the most interesting thing in the whole world.
There was something wrong with Dean, but Cas just couldn't focus what.
Since a couple of days, in the hotel room wasn't echoing Dean's laugh or his sarcastic jokes, and even if he couldn't believe himself, Castiel was a kind of missing all of that.
He was wondering the reason of that toughtfully frown, and mostly why he had the feeling that Dean was mad at him.
He was a bit worried: humans get sick, maybe Dean was ill.
"Cas, damn, can you stop staring at me? It' creepy. " Grumbled Dean, fighting with the pillow.
"My apologies, Dean, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I wanted to make sure you aren't ill. "
"With you X ray sight? I'm fine, I'm just tired. And hungry, so why don't you go to buy me a double hamburger with fries? "
Castiel, the Angel of the Lord, sent to buy a cheesburger?!
The angel shook his head, turning his eyes to the window.
Leaning against the windowsill, he looked at the street still glancing at the scorbutic human who kept changing channel and who intercepted every single glance.
"You don't have anything to do? You know, fluttering around, severe glancing to anyone? "
"Not today. Am I annoying you, Dean? "
Dean rolled his eyes, turning back to the television.
Without answering the question.
Castiel still couldn't understand what was the problem.
There was a moment, days before, after they had removed a demon, he had believed that their bond had been strengthened.
For a moment, immediately after the battle, Dean had turned to look at him as if to make sure he was not injured, they were both still alive, that they still was against the world.
For a second, when Castiel came close to the human place an hand on his shoulder and heal the scratches and cuts, it seemed to him that there was something in Dean's eyes, something that was not able to idenfiticare but that made him feeling weird.
Then, in a blink of an eye, he was gone.
His presences was requested elsewhere and he, obviously, was gone.
But now Cas was wondering if anything happened after his departure, or if Dean was shocked by the last fight, or something like that.
On television, he had heard of post-traumatic shock, and even though Dean wasn't exactly showing symptoms, Castiel could not help thinking about what he had said the guy in a suit on TV, "everyone reacts in his own way to the excitement".
Well, if that was Dean's way, it was a really bad one.
Sam, occupied with his laptop, shook his head frantically when he saw Castiel moving towards Dean, but it was too late.
Dean almost snarled. "We already talked about that, Cas. Living space. You're invading mine. "
The angel didn't move.
"What is the problem, Dean? "
"Except the fastidious angel that don't understand the meaning of the word "privacy"? "
"Yes, except that. "
The other said nothing, but continued to mash the buttons on the remote control with anger, his jaw and contracted a nervous frown.
There was a strange atmosphere in the room, and Sam, who glared amused at his brother, decided it was time to decamp. "Okay, I am going to take your sandwich. And I probably eat it too. "
"And I'll put again depilatory cream in your shampoo. "Replied Dean, a bit too seriously.
"At least you could renew the repertoire. Have fun! "
Castiel was confused.
Dean didn't seem in the mood to "have fun".
"Are you going to look at me all the time? "Broke the hunter thwowing the remote on the table and missing it badly, making the remote end on the ground.
"Dean, calm down. I feel your emotions, but i can't... Understand them. "
"I'm angry, Cas, it's not so difficult to understand. "
"No, with the delivery boy. " Replied Dean dripping sarcasm, before remembering that with Castiel, sarcasm, was completely
wasted.
"What does the delivery boy? "
Dean shook his head, frustrated, standing up because he needed to move. "Let it go. Ehi, how come you have not yet disappeared? "
Castiel was even more perplexed. "What do you mean? "
"That's what you do, right? Disappear. One moment you're here, and the moment afteryou are somewhere in the middle of flowers and the clouds with your brothers ..." He was babbling
"I do not go in the middle of the fio-"
Dran shook his head for the umpteenth time, then took a deep breath, and when I looked at the angel he seemed ten years older. "You really can't understand, do you? "
Cas was tryin to understand, but the human's behaviour was still very strange.
"You are mad at me because of my transport ability? "
"No, I'm mad at you because you use it wrong! I'm mad at you because you disappear without even saying when you'll come back, or if you'll ever come back. And during your outings I need you, and you are not there. "
"Dean, if you were in danger I would come immediately, you know that. I can feel when you're in trouble, and you know that too, so- "
"Why should I need you only when I'm about to die? You can't come and greet every now and then to say "I'm still alive, just to let you know"? Or take a beer, or whatever you drink? Your wings get tired? Or we are not worthy of your attention more than a minutes? "
The angel was puzzled.
Literally.
"It's not... Dean, you always seem uncomfortable in my presence. You constantly ask me to respect your space, to don't stare at you, to don't stand too close. I do not know how it works between humans, but I don't think you please having me around. "
"I am pleased to have you around. I really like it. And this is the problem. "Said immediately the man, looking away, hoping Cas to understand.
Hoping he really understand, even if he had not said anything.
He hoped he understood that he did not want close because his body reacted so damn funny when he was there, he hoped he understood that he did not want him because he would lay the absurd ability to make him blush at a glance...
He hoped he understood that he did not want him around because he wanted him too much.
He had become pathetic, like Sam.
But maybe Cass had understood, because now he was looking at Dean in a different way, hesitant, almost as if he was asking permission.
And when Dean nodded almost imperceptibly, the angel reached out and, for once in his life, he did what he felt he wanted to do.
There was nothing premeditated in that kiss, there was no reasoning, there was nothing that was not instinct and pleasure.
Both had a single word that swirled in their heads: finally.
"Which of you will pay my years of therapy? If anyone is kind enough to tear out my eyes, now ... " Sam had absorbed by osmosis the ability to stop the good times from his brother, but Dean could not really angry.
In the end he and Cass had plenty of time to make up time back.
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