A/N: Here's a little something I forgot to mention last time: If you wanna create anything based off of my work (other fictions, art, etc.) feel free to. Just make sure to tell me, OK? Anyways, the main inspiration for this chapter came from MAD #508's ad parody called "Chia Beiber Pet". This was during that period when I was writing down story ideas on my iPhone (as of the time I'm typing this, I have, get this, over 150 ideas) and I felt Knuckles, Amy and Shadow were getting left out. So I decided to dedicate a few to them, including this one right here...
HAIR APPARENT DEPT.
"Hey Knuckles, what cha got there?" Amy asked.
Knuckles had been walking around with a strange package when Amy had stopped him right at the door to her and Tails's apartment. The package was small, about the size of three Wiis stacked on top of each other.
"It's er, um, nothing," Knuckles replied. He looked embarrassed, for some reason, the expression beating out that time with the rubber band.
"Why so embarrassed?" Amy, now leaning against the door frame, looked smug at Knuckles before continuing: "I mean whatever you have in that box is probably nothing very important or of relevance. So just show me it."
"Let me think for a second, no," Knuckles snapped. "This is box is highly confidential." Knuckles thought about the way he had said his words, because Amy looked every more determined to get her hands on the box. "What I mean is, it's confidential in the sense that you can't see, but I can. Because of other reason you can clearly see on page 27, paragraph 5, subsection 21, of the Box Looker's Guide to Box Looking (available now at Barns & Noble), I cannot let you look at this box-" Amy was now up to her chest in Knuckles sweat "-and this is also a package for another person who's name I cannot pronounce and that person was very specific about his/her/its terms."
Amy looked at the box carefully for a second out a large chalkboard from somewhere beside her and writing down a complicated formula on it. After a few seconds, she crossed everything out, wrote "SCREW IT!" on the board, shoved it aside and took off her smart looking glasses (which only made her look hotter, for some reason). "It's a box of KISS CDs, isn't it?" she guessed.
"That's right!" Knuckles exclaimed in relif, pointing a glove at Amy while at the same time pulling out a drain that let all the sweat down to the floor below theirs, where a hedgehog named Poison drowned. "And to keep you quiet about it, have Alive III!" Knuckles dug around in the box for a second before producing the CD and handing the aforementioned CD to Amy.
Amy took the CD, thanked Knuckles for it and went back inside. A second later, she came back out giving off a look of, wait for it, DULL SURPRISE!...actual, it was displeasure.
"There's no 'God Gave Rock & Roll to You II'," Amy informed Knuckles.
"Right..." Knuckles muttered, digging through the box once more. Apparently, the CD was really wedged in there because it took Knuckles all his strength to pull it out. But eventually, he did.
Amy took the CD, checked the track listing carefully, thanked Knuckles once more and went inside to play it.
Knuckles quickly ran to Sonic & Blaze's room before Amy could come back out and ask for a different CD. Once inside, Knuckles put the box down on the kitchen table and opened it. Blaze came out of the box, only above her knees and higher showing.
Sonic, who's butt had recently grown attached to the one of the table's chairs, stared in open shock at the sight (oh, don't act like you wouldn't).
"You realize that was my favourite, right?" Blaze enquired, crossing both of her arms.
"Why do you like KISS anyways?" Knuckles shot, shoving his face as close he could into Blaze's.
Blaze pushed Knuckle's face back with her middle and ring finger before replying, "I got it in my mother's will."
"Why?" Knuckles signalled for Blaze to continue.
"Father murdered her."
"Why?"
"I dunno."
"Are the CDs all you got?"
"Where'd the rest go?"
"The butler called dibs."
"Ah."
Knuckles and Blaze stared at each other for a bit, Blaze looking a bit sad, nobody uttering a word.
After a while, both of them noticed Sonic sitting at the table.
"Stay right where you are," Knuckles instructed Sonic, running to his and Shadow's room.
Sonic and Blaze exchanged glances that pretty much said "What the f...?".
Knuckles came back a minute later with a camera and took a picture of Sonic.
"That's one for the books!" Knuckles exclaimed, putting the camera down on the table. "Sonic not moving!"
"Well, I would move, but my butt hasn't let up mating with the chair," Sonic explained.
"I don't care," Knuckles said. "So, anyways, Blaze, what do I get for carrying you and your box?"
"You wanted something?" Blaze didn't look surprised. "Well, lemme see what I got in here..."
Blaze hit some kinda switch on the inside of the box and she descended into the box like she was on an elevator. Both Sonic and Knuckles looked into the box in disbelief. A few seconds later, Blaze came back out with a box covered in dust.
"You can have this," Blaze told Knuckles, thrusting the box at him. "I got it months ago and I really don't want it."
"Why's it so dusty?" Knuckles enquired, taking the box and inspecting it.
"The other thing the butler didn't want was my mother's priceless dust collection," Blaze muttered, looking a bit ticked off.
"Okay then," Knuckles said, walking back to his and Shadow's room.
Blaze looked at Sonic the moment Knuckles was gone.
"You know I can get you off that chair easily," Blaze said plainly. She snapped her fingers so her thumb was on fire and placed it on Sonic's head.
Sonic instantly reacted, jumping up, ran around the room three times and then finally jumping into the sink. He emerged a minute later for air.
"You're real dirty, you know that!" Sonic shouted, spitting water out.
Blaze grinned smugly and nodded her head.
"Well, forget you," Sonic murmured. "I'm gonna run a marathon." Sonic caught Blaze's look in her eye. "I'm gonna go run TWO marathons."
Blaze watched Sonic walk out of the room and close the door behind him. Right after Sonic left, the gold Pinto turned into Tails (not robot).
"Have fun as a Pinto?" Blaze asked Tails.
"It was fine," Tails replied. "It just took me a while to regain consciousness after Amy knocked me out so she could go on a joy ride."
"Ah."
Tails climbed through the hole in the wall back to his room just as Blaze pressed another button inside her box and went back inside.
With Knuckles, he was almost finished dusting the box off. "Come on you stupid box," he growled. "How much dust can you have?"
Two hours later, Knuckles found out.
"82,997 pounds?" Knuckles cried in disbelief.
"Be quiet," Shadow instructed Knuckles. "I'm ordering a Japanese X-Box 360 offa eBay."
"What's wrong with the one we have?" Knuckles wondered aloud.
"It's too American," Shadow explained. "We have to remind our fans we DID start in Japan."
"So that's why you're ordering an X-Box from Japan?"
"Anata wa hontōni hayai kusokyatchi suru to, tawagoto suu rokudenashi o yakkaina," kage wa kare no kensaku ni modotte, itta.
Knuckles sighed for he had no idea what Shadow just said (and I hope you don't), so he went back to his box. It turned out to be a Chia Beiber Pet.
"Rip-off!" Knuckles shouted.
"Shut up!" Shadow shouted back., tossing a glass cup at Knuckles, off which Knuckles just punched into oblivion.
Knuckles looked at art on the box. It featured a Chia-type Beiber and the front claimed "Watch its popularity grow! Inexplicably! You can't make it stop!", which Knuckles had to admit was true.
Knuckles then opened the box, which had a Beiber head, a packet of seeds and an instruction sheet (feat. Ludacris).
"Well that's just stupid," Knuckles commented, throwing the instruction sheet in the trash, which Shadow just shot with a gun. Knuckles just picked up the box and looked at the instructions at the side. "OK, soak clay head in water..."
"Sorry, I didn't pay the water bill so I can pay for my X-Box 360," Shadow admitted, to which Knuckles groaned.
"Great, I need water and you got rid off it all!" Knuckles exclaimed.
"Well EXCUSE me! I didn't know you were gonna get that KUSO thing!" Shadow shot back.
"Don't you speak Japanese to me!"
"Hur detta, Knuckles? Hur är det jävla svenska?"
"Oh, you're so clever!"
"Yes I am!"
Knuckles growled again, showing once more the only emotion he knows is anger. Then, for once, he got a good idea. He went out into the hallway, picked up the plug he had used earlier to drain all the water to floor blow theirs, went to said floor, put the plug in the ceiling and then pulled it out once again. All the water was then drained to the floor above them.
That should do it, Knuckles thought, going to the above floor. All I gots to do now is just wait a day.
And so, one day went by.
"Hey, Amy!" Knuckles shouted at Amy.
"Yeah?" Amy asked, turning on her heels to face Knuckles.
"Take this!" Knuckles exclaimed, shoving Amy down the stairs.
Don't worry, though, she only broke two thirds of the bones in her body.
Knuckles check his watch and suddenly said, "Holy crop, I'm late!" He rushed to his room, passing a small box in the hallway.
Blaze came out of the box. "Where's he going in such a hurry?" she wondered aloud. After a second, she went back into her box to finish watching the last episode of "Tales from the Crypt".
Knuckles then suddenly ran back, pulled the plug on the floor and all the water (and the box) were sucked to the floor below theirs. Blaze got very wet.
Once Knuckles was in his room, he inspected the head very closely. It looked well enough, so he decided to put the seeds on it. But first, he wrote about it on Facebook:
-LOL LINE BREAK-
Knuckles: I'm ready to start my Beiber head!
Nobody likes this. No, litteraly.
~Comments~
Sonic: That stupid thing? Why are wasting your time and water on that thing?
Blaze, Tails, Mario and 27 others like this.
Knuckles: Because, uh, it's good for me to expiriment in my interests! By the way, how'd the marathons go?
Sonic: I got first place in both of 'em!
Knuckles: Big surprise.
Mario, Yoshi, Bella, Edward, Michael Bay, Poison and 28,105,866 others like this.
-LOL, SECOND LINE BREAK-
Knuckles quickly logged off of Facebook before Sonic could flame him to death and began on his Beiber head. He went in an unnatural bowl design. He was done quickly.
"So just leave it in light..." Knuckles read the side of the box and then went to put the head on a window sill, the window in question was next to Shadow (still ordering his X-Box 360).
"It's blocking my eBay light," Shadow grunted, holding his Mossberg 590 "Mariner" 12 gauge shotgun (he, ahem, "borrowed" from Wyatt Evans who's been, ahem, "sleeping" for, ahem, "a very" long, ahem, "time") up to Knuckles's head.
"Got it," Knuckles said quickly, running to the whole in the wall that lead to Tails's room.
"No windows here, try Amy's room," Tails said, not even letting Knuckles speak.
Knuckles thanked Tails and ran to Amy's room. He stepped out a second later when he saw what was in there. "She really likes THAT person?..." Knuckles whispered to himself, before shaking that odd feeling off. He then ran to Sonic's room.
"YOU DARE MOCK ME? YOU MUST DIE!" Sonic screamed when he saw Knuckles, apparently still angry (for some reason, he was angry) over Knuckles's Facebook comment, running straight to him.
"NO, NOT INTO THE S***, IT BURNS!" Knuckles exclaimed, getting dunked head first in the toilet.
Long story short, Knuckles crawled back to his room, covered in s*** and cum (not that odd).
"T-t-t-tails should really c-c-clean t-t-t-that c-c-c-can out-t-t," Knuckles stammered.
"I haven't done anything to that toilet and Sonic hasn't gone to it yet," Tails told Knuckles, popping his head in from the hole.
Knuckles put two and two together before realizing what had happened. And he didn't like it. "Well, I can at least use a sunlamp..." he muttered to himself, going into his room.
But then I suddenly ran out of ideas and decided to blow Knuckles's room up!
"Not cool!" Knuckles told me, noticing his Beiber head was caught in the blast.
"We'll, I'm glad," Shadow muttered dryly.
That Gamer, the reader and 789,939,703,609,956 other people like this.
A/N: Hooray! Bad endings! References include Fill Me With Your Poison, Beating Sonic Heroes and Welcome to Facebook. Rate out of ten, people! This That Gamer saying "Good night and good luck."