A/N: Chapter four... As long as I don't lose interest until AFTER I've written Chapter 24, this story will have the most chapters I've ever HAD in a fanfic!...yeah, not really HUGE news. Or news at all... A special thanks goes to Ultima for allowing me to use (I'm guessing it's a male) his designs for Dark Gaia! And I mean no offence to you, because the way I use it... Well, let's just say her pink canoe's always overflowing. And the beginning of this video parodies A Serving of Humour with a Serving of Randomness. No offence to Jakeroo123.
666 MOVIES YOU SHOULD WATCH BEFORE YOU DIE DEPT. (PART 1)
Tails was sitting cross-legged in Sonic's room, the door slightly ajar so he could see into the main part of the huge hotel room. In Tails's hand was a single string. To the naked eye, the string in mention was invisible. But to Tails, it was there, plain as day, and attached to a chili dog Tails had placed in the middle of the room. It should also be noted that said chili dog had a small camera inside it say if someone was to, say, chase it, it would capture all the action.
Sonic casually strolled into the room, having crossed off two more things off of his list ("#2: Run four marathons" and "#4: Tell Sonichu off"). Sonic wasn't paying too much attention to his surroundings (would YOU if you had ran FOUR marathons? I didn't think so) until he noticed the chili dog.
Damn, I just realized how hungry I am, Sonic thought to himself. How come I didn't notice that until now?
Sonic went up to the dog and bent down to get it, but Tails quickly tugged on it, the camera turning on.
Sonic noticed the chili dog moving away, gave short & confused glare, shrugged it of and went to get it again.
When Sonic's fingers were a centimetre away, Tails tugged once more. At this point, Sonic was getting annoyed, so he tried thrice in rapid succession. All three failed. Hard.
"OK," Sonic laughed, sounding frustrated, "This is getting annoying."
And so Sonic tried twice more. Three guesses t- TIMES UP! He failed.
"For Grambi's sake, I can move faster then the thing, why don't I just run up and grab it?" Sonic wondered aloud. He still accented every word in frustration.
"Because if you did, it wouldn't be funny," I told Sonic. "And if you wanna keep you job, keep bending over forwards for that dog."
"All right," Sonic grumbled, trying again. If you don't know what's gonna happen by this point, you're a moron.
"Seriously!" Sonic exclaimed.
Tails gave a small giggle. For some reason, he was enjoying this. He didn't care what Jakes OR Roos said!
Sonic growled and finally began to chase the dang dog. At that point, Tails began pulling really fast.
And off Sonic went. He chased the chili dog through the city, out the city limits, through a desert, through the shooting of Breaking Dawn: Part 2 (oh my goodness, Twilight is horrible, ah), through the desert again, through a UFO, through space, through the ocean, across Tokyo, through Godzilla's digestive system, through England, through Egypt, away from a whole army of undead mummies, through Africa, across the sea once again, through a legion of p***ed off penguins, across the sea a third time, through South America, the United States of America and finally back to my home & native land, Canada.
Sonic came into his room, wheezing like a mad man. He managed to slowly crawl his way to his bed.
"Do you... think we... got enough... footage?" Sonic breathed, gasping for air in-between every two words.
Tails quickly looked around the room for a chili dog, found it, picked it up, dug through it for the camera, found the camera, picked it out and checked the time on it. "Ten minutes!" Tails told Sonic. "A new record!"
Sonic gave a very faint smile before collapsing again. "Why did... I let.. you talk... me into... this crap?" he asked.
"Because my last video got only 30 views," Tails explained, picking ("pick" is my word of the day) up the laptop he had next to him and attaching the camera to it. He then began to edit it on iMovie before putting it on YouTube. "Now we just wait and see how many views this gets!"
"Woo..." Sonic said hoarsely, twirling his finger in the unenthusiastically before deciding it was much better to conserve his energy.
Two hours later, Sonic was pacing back and forth behind the couch while Tails's video page on YouTube refreshed.
"Why don't you just sit down?" Tails offered, looking at Sonic.
"If I did, I'd have to run another marathon," Sonic stated, continuing to pace.
Tails wondered about Sonic said for a second, turned his attention back to his video and...
"27 views?" Tails shouted, looking awfully surprised at the screen. But it was true: Sonic's chasing part duex had only gotten 27. And 4 dislikes.
"Does that mean we gotta do it again?" Sonic whined, looking at Tails.
"No, no, it's fine..." Tails muttered. "I can't believe my other videos are better."
"What other videos?" Sonic asked.
"Well, I managed to get a video of Knuckles's room exploding and I put it up," Tails said.
"Thanks to YouTube..." Knuckles commented sarcastically, poking his head in the door.
"The old cliche 'there's nothing to watch on TV' can now be finished with 'so I think I'm gonna watch drunk German business mean sing karaoke'," Sonic finished for Knuckles.
Knuckles uttered a single "d'oh" before leaving.
"It's REALLY easy to make that guy mad..." Sonic said to himself, his voice reaching a mutter by the end of his sentence. Sonic then thought about something for a second. "You know, Tails, now that I think about it, Knuckles's room blowing up with kinda costly."
"Why are we talking about cost now?" Tails asked.
"Well, there's the economy and then there's my laziness and then there's-" Sonic began, but Tails cut him short.
"Why are we talking about cost now?" Tails repeated himself, a little more seriously now.
"I dunno," Sonic admitted, shrugging. "I guess I've just been too preoccupied with all this crazy stuff going on."
"Well now that we've noticed, we should do something about it," Tails told Sonic. "Let's gather everybody up."
"Everybody except Shadow," Sonic told Tails.
"Why not Shadow?" Tails wondered. "Is he still ordering his freaking X-Box 360!"
"Yes and no," Sonic replied. "You see, it turns out he didn't haven't enough money so he went to Cream's place to beg her for a job."
"He went to Cream's first because..." Tails turned his hand in a circle to signal Sonic should finish it.
"He doesn't think much...?" Sonic finished Tails's sentence, not being to sure himself.
So now let us cut to Cream's place to see what Shadow's been doing. I mean, this chapter IS about the motherfaker!
"So you wanna see Cream, do ya?" the secretary, who I shall now call BillyBob, asked.
"Um, that's what I asked you at the beginning of this chapter," Shadow reminded BillyBob.
"Sorry, it's just we've been focused so much on those other two," I said to the both of them.
"So..." Shadow said, trying to unawkward the fact that they just to talked to worst person in, me (I take pride in that title). "Can I see Cream?"
"Nope," BillyBob replied, leaning back in his chair. "She's doing something and doesn't want to be disturbed."
"Is she trying to get in Playboy again?" Shadow demanded. "She said she would email me if she tried again!"
You were looking at the screen in disgust, mouthing "what the f***..."
"What?" Shadow exclaimed at you. "I got not other girls to swoon over because Sonic pretty much has Blaze, Knuckles is too concerned about getting a new Chia Bieber Pet, Tails is pretty much been flying solo for his whole life-"
"And you've just been very unappealing," BillyBob concluded for Shadow.
"I have people I could date!" Shadow argued.
"Name some," BillyBob shot back.
"Maria," Shadow said.
"Too dead," BillyBob commented quickly.
"Juile-Su," Shadow countered.
"Too in the comics," Billybob laughed smugly.
"Amy."
"Too overused."
"Tikal."
"Too old."
"Poison."
"Too Mary Sue."
"Sally!"
"Too metal."
"Lara Su!"
"Too in the comics again."
"Blaze!"
"Too taken."
"Samus!"
"Too human"
"Kitty!"
"Too many."
"ROUGE!"
"Too hot for you."
"AMY!"
"Too repeated."
"SILVER!"
"Too gay."
Shadow took a deep breath and tried to think of more, but, alas, he couldn't.
"You win this round," Shadow muttered.
"Too satisfied," BillyBob said.
Shadow facepalmed.
"Too hard there," BillyBob told Shadow (I swear that's the last sentence that starts with "Too").
"Look, just let me see Cream!" Shadow shouted, shoving his face in BillyBob's.
"Well..." BillyBob muttered, looking at the desk.
Just then Cream came out to save BillyBob's hide.
Cream was, instead of her usual dress/thing, was in more of a business suit like outfit.
"Hello Emo the Hot Shot," Cream greeted Shadow, smirking. "Lemme guess: You wanna get an X-Box 360 from Japan but you don't have the cash."
"How did you know that?" Shadow asked. "I was trying to buy it on eBay."
"I OWN eBay," Cream scoffed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Fascinating," Shadow murmured. He then picked up his voice: "Look, I just want a job so I can get the money!"
"Hmm..." Cream thought for a second, somehow making the act of thinking seem mocking. "Well I'm making a remake of the movie End of Days and I need a co-star."
"OK," Shadow said. "What's the part?"
"You're the devil," Cream replied, smiling diabolically.
"What?" Shadow was somewhat taken aback from Cream's reply. "Why do I have to be the devil? Can't you get someone like Melphiles or Dark Gaia to do it?"
"I would have used Dark Gaia," Cream explained mockingly, "But she's your understudy."
"And I'm not too happy about that!" Dark Gaia exclaimed from the floor above the one they were currently one.
"Shut up, I own you!" Cream shouted back, picking up a random broom and jabbing it through a hole in the ceiling. Afterwards, Cream briefly looked through the hole. "Right in the cooch," Cream whispered in a satisfied tone.
"So...OK then," Shadow said slowly. "Who's the star."
"Moi," Cream said proudly, posing heroically.
"You're trying to be the new Arnold?" Shadow asked Cream in the same tone you would if you had heard that.
"Well, no," Cream responded. "I'm trying to be the new depressed cop."
Just then, Dark Gaia stormed downstairs and right up to Cream.
"You think you can do whatever you want to me but OH NO you little bugger I am a demon and even though I've never one and even had $3X with my mortal enemy I can beat the snot out of you any day of the week," Dark Gaia rambled, "and it doesn't matter if you own me or not, Ultima was just being a moron when he sold me I mean I don't even know why he had to, he IS a God, why does he need more money, I mean it's just pointless and you are the biggest mother-"
"SHUT THE F*** UP YOU B****!" Cream screamed (it rhymes!). "I OWN YOU AND IF YOU HAVE TO DO WHATEVER I WANT! ULTIMA CAN SHOVE HIS HEAD UP A RHINO'S A**! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"
Dark Gaia growled and took a step back. She COULD have obliterated her, but that shock thing on her sweet spot really did hurt. Even for a demon.
"Now, let's work out a deal," Cream told the two, motioning for the two to follow her. "I will make you two an offer you can't refuse."
"OK, now you're just ripping of The Godfather!" Shadow exclaimed.
"That's not important," Cream snapped. "So here's the deal: You two work with me and I'll get you two whatever you want. Shadow you want...?"
"Cash for a Japanese X-Box 360 off of eBay," Shadow finished.
"And you, Dark Gaia, wants...?" Cream looked at Gaia, expecting her to continue.
"Out of your control," Dark Gaia finished. She thought for a second, then added: "I also want my pussy to stop overflowing."
You were looking at the screen in disgust, mouthing "what the f***..." again.
"How many slang terms can you use?" Shadow questioned.
"Did you even READ Falling for the Enemy?" Dark Gaia asked in reply. "One chapter had at least fifty different slangs! AND self-pleasure."
"Weird," Cream commented rudely. "Anyways, you must sign this contract-" Cream produced a contract "-and when you do, you cannot get out of this. Period."
"Fine," both Shadow and Dark Gaia muttered, singing the contract.
"Good." Cream rolled up the contract, stuck it in her suit and went back down the hall.
Shadow and Dark Gaia stood in silence for a moment.
"Think the use of slang will boost this up to 'M'?" Shadow asked.
"Maybe," Dark Gaia said, shrugging.
A/N: Sadly, this will be divided into two parts. I know, I know, I'm Hitler for doing so. Anyways, thanks to Ultima the Fox for letting me use Dark Gaia. (I CANNOT find that image he said somebody drew! Seriously, look it up on Google Images, you will not find it!) The next chapter'll have more cameos, pop culture references, fiction references, devils, HOT POCKETS and complicated number equations then you can handle! Just watch!