Disclaimer: Well it's the same, I'm still broke and Takahashi rules.

A/N: This chapter is a little different, I jump around to different places and scenes but it's necessary. I think it's easy enough to follow, just different from my flow. Hey if it doesn't work just let me now. Thanks for those reading and review it feels so good to have your comments. So lets make it happen...... Enjoy

Recap: A small hand reached out and touched Kaiba's wet cheek, "don't despair my prince, he's home." Kisara wiped the ice off Seto's face and for once he didn't have a word to say. "Come; my prince we have a lot to do."

Ooooooo

Chapter 20: It Hurts

Frozen the CEO didn't have a comeback . . . hell the shock of seeing Joey, holding him, and feeling his heart beat left Seto helpless. His blood pressure surly would registrar any normal man on the critical list.

"Kisara," Seto squeezed the small hand for support, "he wants to know who shared the darkness with him. I'm still in a deep pit, yet he managed to climb out. Just being close to my puppy, I have a hard time focusing on what is real and what isn't."

"Yes, its called love my prince," she childe.

"I know what love is; I'm not some silly boy in high school peaking in the showers at naked bodies." Seto huffed; involuntarily he pulled at the top button of his shirt. "Damn it's hot."

"Maybe not, but you're that same boy that scanned pictures of Joey that you stole . . . no borrowed . . . from Mokuba's wallet."

"How dare you . . . and how in the hell did you know that. . . that's a private email account." His eyes blazed with fury, a look to make anyone else cringe in moral fear.

Yet the girl with the blue rose just smirked. "I have my ways."

"Little witch . . ." he growled between his teeth. "Where in the hell are your parents."

"Listen we can chat all day long or we can get serious. Feeling sorry for you is pissing me off." Kisara whispered those words.

Ignoring the smart ass remarks from the tiny rosebud lips; Seto released his tight grip on the small hand and turned towards the entrance to the terminal. He watched as Joey limped outside to a waiting limo; walking in his shadow a young man called Ryou, followed behind. It appeared his lips were in constant motion and Joey didn't care for the conversation because he ignored the boy openly. Ryou waved his hands in the air and at one point blocked Joey from getting into the car. Joey gave in and allowed the boy to assist him inside the limo. Seto witness a tiny smile and his heart flipped. Slowly he regained the mobility in his legs, believing he could face the world again, also wishing he'd been the source of the small bit of happiness he'd seen.

"Pull it together, my prince . . . someone is coming. Sounds like your brother." The little blue-eye girl pulled on his shirt. "We wouldn't want anyone to see your sensitive side, might blow your image." Those words jarred his brain back to reality.

"Don't expect any thank-you," Seto caught the ball of energy as he rounded the corner and slam into Seto's chest. It appears not much had changed since childhood for the younger Kaiba.

"Nii-sama, I won't lose to you on this. I've made the decision Joey is staying with us. Roland is preparing the west wing for him right now and you can't stop me. It's my home to and I can do whatever I want. Besides Joey he's my friend and I owe him a favor." Mokuba's voice lost some of its power, due to Seto's silence.

"Do whatever the hell you want; I've got a business to run. I only came down here to make sure you didn't embarrass the Kaiba name." Seto moved quickly so Mokuba wouldn't see the sadness in his eyes. "Just don't expect me to get involved in your plans."

"But Seto I've planned a welcome home party, you haven't forgotten . . . it's at the mansion tonight."

"Mokuba, I'm busy," Seto stopped in his tracks. 'It was too soon to see him again, he'd surly fall apart,' the thoughts vibrated in his heart. Joey expected answers to questions only he could give and the blond understood that. There was a strength Seto recognized in Joey's eyes and he didn't like it one bit. 'I'll have to tell him the truth but not tonight.'

"NII-SAMA wait don't walk away from me!!! . . . NOTHING!!! Everything I plan is always second to your work. Joey always acted like my big brother and friend. He never forgot about me, like you do!!! You didn't have time to take me to the art museum and that's not all!"

"Mokie," Seto turned to the side and a long heartfelt sigh escaped from his lips. 'Everything I've ever done has been for Mokie; even giving up my love for you.'

'What have I done . . . .? ?' Mokuba reached out to Seto but it was too late to erase the look of pain he saw in his brother's eyes. "I d . . . didn't mean that Nii-sama . . . Please."

Seto turned and left before Mokuba could see the tears gather in his eyes. The last time emotions gripped him so tightly was in the rubble breathing life into Joey broken body. 'Gods,' he thought, 'I never thought to feel so alone again.'

"WAIT . . . Let me explain!!" Mokuba reached out into the thin air. His words a faint echo in the wind.

"No . . . Mokie, there nothing else to say," Seto tried to smile, yet succeeded in cracking his jaw; every muscle in his face hurt. "I'll see you tonight . . . at the party." Seto's voice faded to a whisper. It was time to retreat to his little world, Kaiba Corp. 'Damn it, it's time for all this to end, damn it to hell.' Seto thought as he gunned his little blue sport car and sped off, it was time to straighten everything out, he had a party to attend, and first there were some important documents to pick up and some that need to be shredded.

"Seto . . . ." Mokuba whispered to the empty place occupied by Seto; he could still smell his cologne. 'I should tell him everything. I can't believe I've hurt him so easily. But if I confess everything I've done he'll hate me even more,' Mokuba shook his head in confusion and self denial. Tears gather in the back of his eye lids, but a self made damn held them in place. His remorse only lasted a few minutes longer; the selfish little brat that spoke so freely of brotherly love surfaced; the selfish, greedy little brat that coveted the love of his brother smiled; and last the selfish, greedy little bastard continued to make plans for tonight's festivities and prey that his brother wouldn't come. He looked around like a sneaky cat just to make sure nobody witness his conversation with Seto, beside who'd believe it anyway. Smiling Mokuba went back into the main terminal and gave the gang the final time and details of the party. He wanted all of Joey's friends there, beside maybe they could keep that damn Ryou guy entertained and he could have Joey all to himself. He'd tell him how sorry he was for his jealousy and selfish attitude, but he'd make everything right. Mokuba still lived in his delusions; especially after seeing his desire in the flesh. Tonight at the party he'd show Joey for once how he really felt.

Meanwhile . . . .

Two boys glared at each other as one chatted endlessly in a limo headed for the south side of down- town Domino.
"Joey, come on smile, don't be mad," Ryou poke two neat holes in Joey's cheeks in an attempt to make him smile. "You did promise to take me on a tour of your city."

"Yeah, so let me think. Did you make the arrangements . . . the apartment and what about the exhibit?" Joey twisted his fingers together as he gazed out of the tinted window. Everything looked different, yet old, like a shoe you needed to throw away but couldn't.

"We'll have a special wing at Mokuba's house; he's taking care of everything, so don't worry," Ryou smiled. "Are they really that rich?"

"Yeah, he can buy anything. I use to call him money bags." Joey laughed, "It really pissed him off."

Joey tapped on the glass window dividing them from the driver. He motioned the driver to stop at the next apartment complex or rather what was left of the building. The two boys stood in front of a sign that said, 'FOR SALE'. The windows were boarded up and the grass stood at least four feet high around the old building. Beer cans and empty alcohol bottles lay in neat piles at the front porch, and the boys had to remove the yellow tape across the door which was loaded with cob webs.

"Joey this building had yellow tape; it's a crime scene. Maybe we should go." Ryou leaned against Joey hoping to get his attention. Joey pushed open the door and stepped past the yellow tape he continued to walk into the building. Memories floated his thoughts and his eyes shifted to the stairs off to the right.

"Listen Ryou I asked you to go straight to the mansion, but you wanted to come and tour my little city. Well take a look, it's a crime scene alright, one of my life. Take a look this is where it all started. Take a look at my home. These are the stairs and hall my drunken Dad stumbled up nightly. I would try and hide before he entered the apartment, I never knew if he'd be too drunk to care or beat me senseless. Sometimes I would hear his footsteps and he'd stumble back down a stair or two and I'll lock the door to my room. So you know what the bastard did, he removed the door to my room and replaced it with a shitty curtain, that always smelled of his stench. Once he tried to rape me, but passed out I wanted to kill the drunk in his sleep."

"Just asking, I'm with you," Ryou hesitantly backed off but continued to stare warily around.

Joey moved upstairs and pushed open the apartment door. "The hinges creaked but the door gave away. 'Damn what did I expect; it's still the same,' he thought, 'one broken down shit hole.' He closed his eyes and the past rolled back to his last moments in the house. He could see his father's whore passed out on the bathroom floor blocking his way out of the apartment. His father wasn't far behind passed out somewhere on the floor. Even the ragged door cover lay in pieces on the floor eaten by moths and covered with dust. Nothing had changed in his absence, expect his father was missing since the quake; presumed dead. The smell of alcohol filled his nostrils and he started to sway.

"Joey, I think it's really time to go; you don't look so well."

"Yeah, it's home sweet home; love the view," Joey voice rose and sweat beaded up around his head. He pulled his bangs back and looked around the room once more. "Hey, you just got to see this," He almost ran into his tiny bedroom and leaned outside of the broken window, searching for something.

"Look Ryou, see these nails," he held up some old rusty nails that were wedged into holes inside the window seal, although the glass had been blown out over a year ago. Holding up the nails he continued to speak. "Look Ryou, see these nails; I'd climb out of this window and replace the nails carefully one by one. Dad never realized I'd sneak outside, work late at night, or go to school, to breathe fresh air."

"Joey, my old man loved his women . . . other women . . . it made my mom crazy," Ryou spoke more to his self. "He didn't beat me but he beat my sister, I'll never go back home, never. My world is with you."

"Shit, I don't need that Ryou. Come on there is one more place you gotta go," Joey grabbed his hand and moved out of the back door down through the basement and into Joey's private world. To his amazement the bomb shelter was just the same; he opened the latch and peered down inside. Ryou looked over his shoulder.

Once again Ryou followed Joey into his private world, but at least this place brought him a little pleasure. Together they set on the cold floor and Joey continued to explain his past. "I used to study by this lamp and there's my table, an old create. You know I refused to be stupid, I loved him so much, so I studied to impress Kaiba."

Ryou's phone went off and they both jumped sky high, "Mmm . . . let it ring, there's something else I gotta tell you."

"But it's the museum, remember we were supposed to go and check out the exhibit."

Joey placed his hand over Ryou's, "No this is more important." Joey stared into Ryou large chocolate eyes and marveled just for a moment how beautiful the boy's expression could be. He reminded him of Mokuba in so many ways and that is what hurt him the most.

"Just a moment . . . . Ok . . . Thanks . . . . Later," Ryou hung up the phone. "Everything is fine, the exhibit is being dusted off as we speak and set in place, I'm all yours."

"Ryou, long time ago I let a friend believe that in time we could become a couple. I ignored his feelings, ignoring that his illusions were real. I know even today he's in pain and I took the easy way out by writing a letter. I don't want you to suffer anymore, man." Joey turned away from Ryou and walked outside to the limo.

"Ryou after this affair I think it would be best if we part." Joey settled in the limo and waited for the storm to blow.

"So just like that, you've made the decision, jerk. You think you can just walk away and I won't follow." Ryou screamed out loud, spinning Joey around to face him. "Look at me while you dump my ass!"

"I don't want to hurt you anymore with false hopes, man. I can't feel the way you want. I've tried."

"Tried, what the hell does that mean," Ryou's eyes blazed.

Joey remained silent and set inside the limo; he waited for the boy to understand and face the truth.

"Oh you mean my little kisses, lap dancing, and body rubs. So you forced yourself to feel. It's a little late for that, shit I love you, Joey." Ryou whispered. "I know you didn't feel the same, but we have still had something special. "

"Ryou, listen . . . . I'm going to tell him how I feel."

"What!!"

"Tonight at the party . . . I've made up my mind! . . . Driver!!! Take us to this address." Joey handed a small piece of paper to the driver through a small sliding glass door.

"Fine and when he laughs or dumps your ass; what will you do next," Ryou still angry couldn't believe what Joey was saying. He'd hoped they'd leave this gig and go back to England, safe and sound.

Joey gritted his teeth and bit his tongue; but he refused to show his true emotions, let Ryou's words make him give in.

"Look I didn't mean that . . . ." Ryou continued, there wasn't a face Joey could make he couldn't read.

"Just forget it Ryou, you're right, but I can't live like this anymore."

"So your answer is to piss me off. Well it didn't work. You got something else going on."

Joey's heart started to race as the mansion came into view. "I'm leaving the country after tonight."

"What, it's that offer, the one you got from the investors . . . Ahh; didn't you think Pegasus was behind it?" Ryou whispered a little calmer knowing he wasn't the source of Joey's sour mood.

"No . . . it's not that, but I'm going to the states and I'm not coming back. Yeah, but I don't care anymore. Look what happen just being in his presence after all this time. I almost passed out." Joey held back his tears. "I can't involve you in my troubles anymore."

"Ahh . . . you did pass out. So when were you going to tell me . . . don't answer." Ryou mumbled as they exited the limo and entered the large double doors of the mansion. Roland directed the boys to the private west wing and left to attend to the needs of his boss which included watching Joey's activities from afar.

"Look Joey we haven't finished this conversation. It's dangerous when your mind wonders beyond art. You're safest with a paint brush in your hands." Ryou smirked.

"Ok!! I wanted answers to my past. I wanted to know if he was in my future, or the man that is only in my dreams. Now I just want to tell him while I can." Joey voice lacked courage but he took a deep breath and spoke the words anyway. "I have to know if he feels anything . . . I have to breathe again."

"And the answer; if it's not the one you want, you've going to run?"

"Well I haven't thought that far; but the states seem like a good place to start." Joey pouted.

"Ok, well if I can't be the one, I can at least help you!!" Ryou open up a piece of luggage and pulled out a drop-dead outfit from his private collection.

"You've got to be kidding, man. I don't think I can get into that . . . . Remember I said I want to breathe again." Joey chuckled.

"Yeah, every solider needs a weapon; this is war . . . trust me mate." Ryou smiled as he searched for shoes and other accessories. "So no more kissing . . . Oh does this mean I have to sleep in my own bed?"

"Ryou!!"

"Ok!! I get it; I'll get my pink blanket out of the closet."

"I gotta rest . . . so wake me up later for the party," Joey lay down and closed his eyes. "When this is over I'll get my life back and maybe one jerk out of it. It's time to end this pain in my heart, even if it hurts."

"Yeah . . . ." Ryou feelings of rejection hit at its core of his heart, "this is going to be one hell of a party, and it looks like Joey's is the desert."

Ryou waited till Joey soft breath tickled his flushed cheeks as he leaned over him. The blond was fast asleep. He tip-toed into the adjoining bathroom and flicked opened his cell phone. It took a moment to make the call and the decision.

"Pegasus, I've changed my mind." Ryou whispered the words into the phone. "Joey's my friend and I can't help you anymore . . . it's over."

"No I don't care what you say, if he wants Kaiba . . . . " the phone went dead before Ryou could finish his sentence.

"Joey I'm so sorry . . . ." tears flowed down Ryou's face. "I just wanted you to love me, now if you just don't hate me I'll be alright. . . . Joey I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

Very softly Ryou slid next to Joey on the bed. It would be the last time he had the pleasure if he wanted to keep his friendship. 'Damn I just want to get through this night.'

Oooooooooooo

Next the party!! Wear your hats it's going to be a heart breaker; your reviews will get it posted soon!!! Love you

R/R