Friday afternoon Morgan and Emily sit across from each other in Dr. Westfallen's office. The doctor watches them; neither wants to be the one that speaks first. She finally decides to break the ice.
"So, Derek, why do you think Emily is a whore?"
Morgan jumps. "What? I don't! I never said that!"
Emily snorts. "The hell you didn't! You asked me how long it took to bed a suspect. If that's not calling me a whore I—"
"Fuck, Emily!" Morgan runs a hand over her his smooth head. He takes a calming breath. "Yeah, okay, I get that you were deep undercover but did you have to sleep with him or did you…did you just want to?"
Emily sighs. "Morgan…Derek, I took the job knowing sex could be an eventual aspect of getting through Doyle to Valhalla. And looking back, I know if I hadn't slept with him we never would have known he really was Valhalla. But I never, ever wanted to sleep with him. Even when…when Lauren was falling in love with him Emily was still in there screaming 'Hey! You're a lesbian!' But I did what I had to do to stop him." She takes a deep breath. "And in the same situation I'd do it again to stop him. And to save Declan from that life."
Morgan shakes his head. "And you don't see anything wrong with that?"
Emily laughs humorlessly. "I see a hell of a lot wrong with it."
He stares at her a minute. "And did you? Sleep with him again? Is that why you say you weren't raped by that bastard?"
"No," Emily whispers. "It wasn't the same situation. Derek, look at me: do I look like the same person who lived as Lauren Reynolds?"
Morgan sits back in his seat. He and Emily had talked a lot about her childhood and her rebellious stage that had lasted for years, even after she joined the Bureau. And he thinks about the person he first met and the woman that had fallen in love with JJ, who refused to act on that love knowing JJ was with Will and pregnant with his child. He suddenly grins.
"Lauren would have beaten Will back to New Orleans to get to JJ."
Emily smiles slightly. "Damn right she would have. Derek, I didn't really want to do it then. It was just…a means to an end. And now…now even after JJ told me to I told Ian he could only have me if he raped me. I'm not her anymore. And when I tried to be her I failed miserably. The only thing I was able to do was pretend to be her long enough to get his phone. But as soon as I nearly threw up on him he realized I wasn't her."
"That's when he beat you."
Emily nods. "One of the times."
He winces at the thought. "I'm sorry, Emily."
Emily just nods. Westfallen stares at him a minute, then leans forward.
"Derek, tell her why you were really upset about her time as Lauren."
Morgan looks at her in confusion. "I…I don't understand."
Westfallen leans forward, her elbows on her knees. "I think you do."
Morgan stares at the woman. How the hell had she known? Could she read minds or what? He looks at Emily, who seems equally confused. He closes his eyes. Was there something he was missing in himself? Why had…oh, shit…that's why. He opens his eyes and stares at Emily.
"You used your sexuality to draw him in, use him, and take him down. I think…that hit a bit close to home."
Emily is stunned. "You mean…Buford? Derek, it's in no way the same thing! Ian was an adult who made a choice. You were a child who was taken advantage of by an adult he trusted; who should have been a protector."
"But in some ways, you took advantage of Ian. And no, it's not exactly the same but I guess…it brought those feelings back in me. And instead of getting help for it I took it out on you."
Emily stares at him and sits forward. "Shit, Derek, have you never talked to a professional about what happened to you?" His non-answer is answer enough. "Damn it, Derek. You told me you dealt with it and I wrongly assumed you meant you got help. I should have pushed you on it. I'm sorry I let you down."
He shakes his head. "No. Let's just…can we stop with the apologies? You and I have some fucked up shit in our past. If…If I promise to get help to deal with those feelings can we just…move forward as best friends again. My life has felt so empty, so disjointed with this crap between us. I hate it, Em. I want my best friend back."
Emily smiles. "I want mine, too." She glances at Westfallen. "What do you think? We hopeless or what?"
She smiles. "I think you can only hurt someone so badly if you truly love them. Derek, what obviously happened to you as a child is still haunting you today. Maybe not every day but I'm sure it pops up more than you like. I have a colleague that specializes in victims of child sexual abuse. Many of her clients are adults who are finally dealing with it. Humor me and take her number, okay?"
Morgan glances at Emily, who gives him a slight nod. He looks back at Westfallen. "Yeah, okay. Maybe…maybe it's time to get him out of my system once and for all."
She moves to her desk to write down the number. Emily sits forward and takes Morgan's hand.
"Anything you need when dealing with that, I'll be there for you. Anytime of the day or night." She grins. "I'll even bring the anchovy pizza."
Morgan laughs. "You are a sick and twisted woman, Emily Prentiss. And I'm damn glad you're okay. I'd have…have lost it if we hadn't gotten you back."
"Thanks, Derek. Maybe after we leave here we can go grab a couple of beers. Well, you can have a beer. I'll have a Sprite."
He nods. "You're treat?"
She chuckles. "Definitely."
After leaving the doctor's office Emily had texted JJ to let her know she and Morgan were going out to dinner and a few drinks. At 11:45 JJ hears a car door slam. She stands up from watching an old "Law & Order" rerun to meet them at the door. Good thing.
"JAAAAAAAYJE!" Morgan hollers.
"Oh. My. God." JJ says.
A very drunk Derek Morgan is practically being carried by Emily. JJ steps outside and meets them at the top step. She gets his other arm over her shoulder.
"Phew! Geez, Morgan, you smell like a brewery!" she laments.
"Let's just get him to bed, Jen," Emily insists.
"Youse guys is so goodst to me," Morgan slurs. "Sho flucking pwetty and niesh!"
"Yeah, we're real catches, buddy," Emily agrees.
"Jayje, did you knows Emily's gots the hots for youse?"
JJ chuckles. "I sort of suspected."
"Oh, yeah. She tolds me that rights after we arre—arre—busted them bashtards hunting peoples in the woodses."
JJ suddenly stops. "Really? That long ago?"
Emily blushes. "Morgan, please…shut up!"
He starts to laugh. "Ahhhh, shnap! Jay didn't knew thats. Score for Derek!"
The Prentiss women continue to escort their friend upstairs to the guest bedroom. The entire time he tells JJ all about private conversations he'd had with Emily about the brunette's crush on the blonde.
Emily is going to kill him when he is sober enough to remember it.
They finally get him dumped into the bed. They pull off his shoes and tuck him in. JJ puts a glass of water and a couple of Aleve on the side table and turns out the light. In the hallway she looks at Emily.
"You had a crush on me that long ago?"
Emily leans against the wall and stares into her wife's amused eyes. She reaches out and takes JJ's hand.
"Jennifer, when I saw you my first day in the BAU I thought you were quite possibly the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. By the end of my second case with the team I had a massive crush on you."
JJ steps closer, wrapping her arms around Emily's waist. "Then why the hell did it take you so long to say something?"
Emily smiles. "Two reasons. First of all, you always seemed to be dating someone, usually a man, so that didn't exactly scream 'Hey, Emily, ask me out!' And secondly, I was so scared I would screw things up with you and since you were on the team first I knew I'd be the one tossed out of the BAU. I had to make sure I was ready mentally for a real relationship, not just a friends with benefits set up." Emily chuckles. "That's why I started dating Carla. I wanted to see if I was grown up enough for a real relationship."
JJ grins. "You broke up with her," she points out.
Emily strokes a hand down JJ's face. "Because I knew I wasgrown up enough for a real relationship but that the one I wanted to be with was pregnant with her boyfriend's child. It wasn't fair to Carla to lead her on. And she had seen I wasn't completely invested in us. She had no idea it was because I was already in love with someone." She kisses JJ gently. "The first night we made love, you fell asleep and I told you I loved you. I was scared if I said it while you were awake it would freak you out."
JJ stares at her a moment, then starts to giggle. "I pretended to be asleep because I thought it would freak you out if you knew I'd heard you."
Both women chuckle. Emily pulls her wife close. JJ rests her head on Emily's shoulder.
"I love you, Mrs. Prentiss. So very, very much," Emily tells her.
"Mmm…I love you, too." She looks up into Emily's eyes. "How about we head to the bedroom and I show you how much?"
"Um, I'm kinda needing a snack first."
"Okay. Bring it up to the room and I'll feed it to you," JJ offers seductively.
Emily blushes. "Uh, you sure? I'm thinking sardines on crackers."
JJ grimaces. "Oh, Em!" She kneels down and speaks to Emily's stomach. "Rocky, can't you make her crave chocolates or ice cream or something? Give your other mommy a break, please?"
Emily laughs and pulls JJ up. They head downstairs so Emily can get her latest craving under control. Later, after making her brush twice and gargle with Scope three times, JJ finally shows Emily just how much she is loved.