A/N: If your OC in this, don't be offened.. Unless you're the ** who wrote My Immortal. In case your wondering why I included, go see A Goth Reads My Immortal, Immortal Crack or MST3k II. Anyways, now for the chapter who's sole purpose is to introduce FOUR (4) minor characters!.. Yeah. And in case it doesn't show up, the full title is He Who is Not Trained to Spit on the Fan-Character.

KICK THE FAN-CHARACTER DEPT.

"Hey, Blaze, you ever feel like we're missing something?" Sonic asked Blaze.

"No," Blaze replied, scrolling down even further through the fictions. "Why?"

To get this out of the way quickly, Blaze was sitting at the table checking through fanfictions (AGAIN) while Sonic was pacing. There, I said it. No onto the fiction!

"Well, we got what most fanfiction writers have," Sonic explained. "Us, a plot, a couple chapters, a couple subscribers, a couple favourites, some reviews... But I feel like we're missing something REALLY important and REALLY stupid!"

"The humour?" Blaze suggested sarcastically. "There's been a definitive lack of it."

Shadow came crashing through the wall. "IF YOU EVER MENTION OCCUPY HOTEL SONIC EVER AGAIN...!" he threatened.

"I'm also referring to the last chapter, Emo," Sonic snapped. "And, by the way, shouldn't you be getting back to ordering your stupid X-Box 360?"

"Already ordered it," Shadow said. "We're 500 dollars in the hole."

"What? You spent 500 dollars on something you already have!" Sonic exclaimed.

"That was just the cost of shipping the damn thing," Shadow muttered. "The guy on eBay demanded 200 dollars for it."

Sonic went over to a wall. "Hello, wall, this is my head, meet," he said before slamming his head against the wall.

"Get out of here, Shadow, we're doing something important," Blaze told Shadow.

"And what would that be?" Shadow enquired, crossing his arms.

"Advancing the plot," Blaze answered. "Now get out of here."

"Well SOMEBODY'S OOC today..." Shadow whispered to himself, going through the wall. A couple moments later, he popped back out and said, "By the way, it's probably gonna cost 300 dollars to repair this wall... Yeah, in retrospect I shouldn't have done this."

Sonic gave Shadow a death glare.

"If it wasn't for your fangirls, I would STRANGLE you!" Sonic growled.

"Hey, I can survive falling from FREAKING space-" Shadow argued.

"Albeit losing your memory," Amy added under her breath, walking behind Shadow.

"-I don't think your threat's gonna do much," Shadow finished, going back through the hole.

Sonic growled again and went back to pacing.

"So, now that we're done with completely random detour," Blaze stated, "how about you continue telling me what you think is missing?"

Sonic was silent for a moment. "We need a fan-character," he said quite calmly.

Blaze facepalmed. "NO," she muttered.

"Come on! Every other big fiction has at least one!" Sonic complained. "Even Beating Sonic Heroes has one! And he's awful!" Sonic thought for a moment before adding, "Actually there's two, Anti-Wyatt isn't as bad as the other one."

"Both are awful," Blaze retorted. "We're not getting one."

"Well, it's too late anyways; it's in the description," Sonic sighed. "Or we could do that The Hunger Games parody..."

"What are you waiting for?" Blaze, halfway to the door, asked.

"Just let me Facebook this," Sonic told Blaze

Blaze nodded and Sonic whipped out his iPhone.

-FACEBOOK TIME ONCE AGAIN!-

Sonic: We're going to get a fan-character for our fiction... You hate us, right?

27,000,00 people decided not to like this

-FACEBOOK TIME'S OVER? AW...-

"OK, I rounded everybody up," Blaze told Sonic.

"Why?" Sonic enquired. "We can leave them here."

"Have you SEEN the damage they've done!" Blaze shot back. "I might as well light the place on fire!"

"We wouldn't do that!" Knuckles argued. A few moments later, he whispered to Shadow, "We'll have to save that for another time."

"We never agreed on setting fire to this place," Shadow hissed.

Knuckles smacked Shadow upside the head. "YOU STUPID!" he exclaimed. "YOU STUPID!"

Much later, on the edge of town, the group approached a prison. The front read "Mary Sue/Gary Sue Penitentiary". A smaller sign read "Vacancy".

"You think this is the place?" Sonic asked Blaze.

"No, I think they're hiding out at the McDonald's we passed way back there," Blaze replied sarcastically, pointing back down the road.

"You know, I did see a recolour there..." Amy muttered. "I'll go check!" And off she ran.

"Get me a root beer while you're there, OK?" Knuckles called after her.

"Look, can we just go in?" Tails enquired. "This place is giving me the creeps."

"It's worse on the inside," said a green cat coming out of the front door.

"Charge!" Blaze exclaimed, going up to him. "What are you doing HERE?"

Charge shrugged. "I need something to do while I'm waiting for my creator to update..." he answered. "So you're here to get a fan-character?"

Everybody nodded, but Shadow took a step back.

"You're afraid Poison's here?" Sonic enquired mockingly.

"K-kinda..." Shadow stammered.

"C'mon, take the snake bite," Sonic joked.

"I don't get it..." Shadow muttered. "Could you explain it?"

"Oh my... IF YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN THE JOKE, THERE IS NO JOKE!" Sonic shouted.

"Guys, I'm back!" Amy said. "Here's your root beer, Knuckles."

"Thanks," Knuckles said. He took a sip and then spit it out. "This is Coke! You went through the drive-thru, didn't you!"

"They wouldn't believe me when I said I was just passing by," Amy admitted.

Knuckles sighed and threw the rest of it at Amy. Amy caught every drop in her mouth.

"Well, not that that's done," Charge sighed, "come with me."

Charge went inside and everybody followed.

Inside the prison, it was a lot drearier. It was also very quiet. Two-floors to boot.

"Now be quiet," Charge whispered. "If they know you're here, they're gonna freak."

"But won't they see us anyways?" Sonic asked quietly. "We're going up to them and staring at them like this is a freaking zoo!"

Charge blinked and then said, "Dang, I didn't think this out that well."

"So, now what?" Tails asked.

"Good luck," Charge replied, going off to do something.

The group stared at each other and silently decided to go off in groups. They were Sonic & Knuckles, Tails & Shadow and Amy & Blaze.

With Sonic and Knuckles, they found one that didn't seem to cliche. It was a recolour, sure, but it seemed like it would do the job quite nicely.

"So, what's your name?" Knuckles asked the recolour.

"Qui," Qui replied.

"Qui? From WTF?" Sonic enquired. "So now we're doing a crossover? How does that work? Does WTF take place before or after this?"

Knuckles slapped Sonic.

"You were digging way too deep into this," Knuckles explained calmly.

"Well excuse me for pointing simple logic..." Sonic muttered, rubbing as close as he could get to the back his head (remember, the quills).

"Hey, is Silver ever gonna be in this?" Qui enquired.

"No," Sonic and Knuckles answered at the same time in the same monotone.

"Oh..." Qui looked sad, then angry. "Why not?"

"I don't feel like explaining it..." Sonic murmured. "Knuckles, how about you?"

Knuckles shook his head no and the two walked off.

"Hey, do you think anybody's gonna read All You Need is Dumb?" Sonic wondered aloud.

"Maybe when it's updated in Korean.." Knuckles replied with a shrug.

With Tails and Shadow, the emo-hog had his eye on a certain Mary Sue.

"Please state your name," Shadow said flatly.

"Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Black Black Black Way," Ebony said. "And I'm a vampire goth witch."

"Really?" Tails was confused. "You don't LOOK like a goth."

"But my skin is pale," Ebony argued. "Plus, I am a sex object, like every other girl in the world. Plus, my skin is pale."

"Gee, never would have guessed..." Shadow commented sarcastically.

"What, that every girl I know is a sex object?" Ynobe quipped inquisitively. "Also, my skin is pale."

"We get it, your skin is pale!" Tails exclaimed. "Why are you here?"

"Because the poseurs don't think I'm goth," Ehony replied. " In my opinion, people (my skin is pale) who don't like MCR are stupid."

"Well, YOU are a poseur..." Shadow reminded 3b0ny.

"No I'm not!" Ebovy said. "I'm just (my skin is pale) goth."

"Darling, you give goths a bad name," Tails somewhat quoted. "And if I remember correctly, you're quite cheery for a goth."

"I (my skin is pale) am a goth!" Enooy repeated herself in a monotone. She then added, "My skin is pale."

"Augh, I can't stand it!" Shadow shouted. "Your stupid 'I am iz are goth' thing is giving me a headache!"

"Just like Dumblydore and Hairgrid!" Enoby pointed out.

Shadow's eye twitched. Griping, he dragged Tails away from the vampire goth witch poseur.

"You're just preps!" Ebony complained (gleefully, for some odd reason). "PREPS!... My skin is pale."

With Blaze and Amy, they came across a rather odd Mary Sue.

"So, who are-" Blaze began, but was cut off by the Mary Sue.

"I'm Aummie!" Aummie said a very hyper way. "I'm supposed to be in another fiction, but I'm not, I'm here and I know you guys, one of you dates Silver, I'm sure it's the cat, what about you, I don't care, I sound like I'm in a fiction by Yoshi 2.1, say, why am I, I haven't been in anything, you notice how odd the colour purple is, I'm so horn-"

"Shut up!" Blaze told Aummie. "First, off you look like Sally. Second, you're annoying because you never shut up. Third, I'm not dating Silver. And fourth, we're leaving now!"

Blaze walked off in a huff, Amy following behind her.

"Shortest encounter with a Mary Sue yet, eh?" Amy asked Blaze.

"Yea," Blaze replied. "Plus, we're switching over to Gary Stus now."

"The perverts?" Amy enquired.

"You sound like Ebony..." Blaze muttered.

Back with Knuckles and Sonic, they found a Gary Stu.

"I told you we should have looked under the S's first..." Knuckles reminded Sonic.

Sonic flicked Knuckles and asked the Gary Stu it's name.

"Stephen," he growled. "And I'm **ing **ed because I ALMOST won ULTIME TIME DARE CHALLENGE..."

"Oh crap, obvious plug!" Sonic yelled, running around in circles. He then calmed down and asked, "Who'd you lose to?"

"This mixed breed **er..." Stephen said. "He's a real **hole."

"Well then..." Knuckles stated calmly. "We don't use that much swearing!"

"What about Blaze in the first chapter?" Sonic wondered aloud.

"That's OOC swearing," Knuckles corrected Sonic. "It's different... So, Stephen, what's your shipping?"

"Me and Amy," Stephen replied.

Knuckles dragged Sonic away.

"Why didn't we pick him?" Sonic asked Knuckles in a slightly peeved way.

"He'd interfere with another shipping," Knuckles deadpanned.

"What s-" Sonic began, but the transition cut him off.

Meanwhile, Tails and Shadow found another odd Gary Stu.

"We seem to be getting lucky in terms off oddness," Tails commented.

"I agree," Shadow agreed.

"I didn't know," said that kid from the Intellevision commercial.

"Get out of here," Shadow told the kid. And off the kid went.

"So, what's your name?" Tails asked the sparkly man.

"Edward Cullen," Edward said in the same monotone as Ebony.

Tails nearly threw up. "F-from Twilight!" he stammered in fear.

"Yeah? So?" Edward continued his monotone. "I'm only a vampire."

"We ran into oddness, vampires, humans and people NOT from Sonic!" Tails pointed out the obvious.

"I didn't know," the kid from that Intellevision commercial said.

"Didn't I tell you to go away?" Shadow asked the kid again. After the kid went away, he looked back at Edward. "Do we even have to ask you?"

"No," Edward murmured. "Go on. I'm just a sparkly vampire."

"OK..." Tails rolled his eyes and walked away with Shadow.

With Amy and Blaze on the second floor, they really hadn't found anybody worth looking at.

"So, do you think we should give up?" Blaze asked Amy.

"When have you ever given up?" Amy retorted.

"Right now," Blaze snapped. "This is ridiculous. We can't find a single good OCs! Well, at least we haven't seen the really bad ones..."

"Like what?" Amy enquired.

Blaze was about to answer Amy's question, but she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. Her face filled with a mixture of horror, glee, anger and a little constipation.

"THAT," Blaze said bluntly, going over to a cage with a window instead of bars. Behind the glass was non-other then the a-hole himself, Wyatt Evans.

"So, I see your finally behind bars," Blaze bragged, putting hand to hip, trying to be cool.

"Do you know how many of my reviewers tried to save me?" Wyatt growled. "However, ONE ** SAID I WAS GUILTY-"

"The author?" Amy wondered.

Wyatt simply nodded.

"Don't forget, I had something to do with it," some reminded Wyatt.

"Who just who might you be?" Blaze asked the voice.

The person behind the voice revealed herself. "Mary Sue IX," Mary replied. "Head of the Mary Sue/Gary Stu division in Sonic fanfiction."

"Well, that's nice..." Amy muttered sarcastically.

"So, what are you here for today?" Mary asked the two. "A fan-character?"

"Duh!" Blaze and Amy answered in unison

"Well, I am very sorry, but today's batch is not good for fanfiction," Mary admitted. "Come back later."

"Oh..." Amy looked a little upset, but Blaze looked relieved.

"OBJECTION!" another voice exclaimed. A mixed-breed fan-character (FYI,Tails's overall build (one-tailed), Gamma's gun, Rouge's wings, Blaze's jewel-in-forehead, Shadow's shoes, Knuckles's knuckles and Silver's glove) and one resembling Marine (albeit gray furred) ran up to Amy and Blaze. The mixed-breed didn't stop in time and crashed into Blaze, knocking both of them over.

"Blaze!" Sonic shouted, running over to Blaze, Knuckles following suit. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," Blaze groaned, tossing the fan-character off of her and getting up. "So, anyways, who's this?"

"Jamie E. Neuman!" Jamie said, quickly getting onto his feet. "And here beside me is a satirical fan-character. Say hi, Ringo McHarrinon." (Mary was muttering cusses under her breath. They really freaking annoyed her and this was the 27th time this week they escaped their cages.)

Ringo gave a small wave before Jamie continued: "We will volunteer for your fiction!"

"What's your history?" Sonic asked, Shadow and Tails showing up.

"Well, I have a minor role in The Darkness Rising, I starred in New Brawls With New Fighters before it was cancelled," Jamie listed, "I lost ULTIMATE TIME DARE CHALLENGE, I signed up for OC Hotel AND I was gonna be in Other Smash Mansion, but it was cancelled."

"I'm a parody of a character from True Love Worth Fighting For!" Ringo said gleefully.

Sonic nodded and the group went into a huddle. Hours later, they came out of it.

"We have reached a verdict," Sonic told Jamie and Ringo.

Jamie crossed his fingers and Ringo looked like she was about to ** herself.

"We hate you both," Sonic said bluntly.

Jamie facepalmed with the gun and fell backwards over the railing. Ringo groaned.

"But, since we're really desperate to get out of here," Sonic continued, "we'll take you two anyways."

Mary facepalmed, Jamie said "** YEAH!" and Ringo squealed in appreciation. Then she hugged Sonic.

"Thank you..." Ringo said to Sonic.

"Kid, how old are you?" Blaze asked.

"I'm nine," Ringo replied. "Jamie's 14."

"I'm OK, don't anybody come down here to check on me!" Jamie yelled. "I only have a broken leg which will heal by next chapter!"

Sonic pried Ringo off of him and told her to never do it again. Ringo sort of blanked out during it, but she nodded anyways.

"Well, this chapter's over..." Sonic said to everybody. "Shall we go home?"

The Hotel Sonic group nodded and they went back to the hotel, Ringo by their side.

"...WHAT ABOUT ME!" Jamie exclaimed. "DOES ANYBODY CARE ABOUT ME?"

"I do," Ejony said, popping up out of nowhere.

Jamie looked wide-eyed at Ebonhe for a second and then screamed, "POSUER GOTH!"

Egonhy rolled her eyes. "Prep..."

A/N: Weird chapter, eh? But this isn't different from my other crap. So, anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I would like it if you told me what you think of Jamie and Ringo so far. You don't have to, but... I want you to. Anyways, this is That Gamer saying, "Bonum notce et fortuna."