Not mine. No money. Ever. The plot is the only thing I own.
Legolas cast an alarmed look at the newest Sue to storm the halls of his friend and host. Marie sighed and got up. "I'll take care of this one." She went to the wall where a very special sword was kept.
It lay on a bit of velvet cloth, it's blade shone with a rainbow of colors and it's hilt was decorated with Elvish script. "The Sword of Sue Slaying." She announced to Xyxia. "Prepare to be slayed." She raised the sword and made to bring it down upon the Sue.
"WAIT!" Cried the crying Sue. "Don't do it! Please!" She pleaded, crying tears of silver and gold. "All I want is Leggy-weggy-cutsie-poo's enternal love simply for being perfect in every single way!"
Marie was not the only one who grimaced at 'Leggy-weggy-cutsie-poo'. Gagging sounds were coming from the Elf and heavy frowns creased the faces of the rest of the Fellowship. "I'm afraid that you're the worst Sue that we've encountered so far, miss Xyxia. So you must be destroyed!" Replied Marie solumnly.
The Sue continued to grovel and gripe, but it fell on deaf ears, for the sword came down and touched her head. At the contact, a blindingly white light came flashed and left spots in the vision of the members of the Fellowship.
Standing in front of them now was a girl. She no longer had purple eyes, just plain brown ones with long lashes. Her hair had darkened into a mousey color and she was downsized. Her body was no longer perfectly slim, but slightly plump. She wore a confused, but grateful expression."Thank you." She said blankly before disappearing entirely.
"Whew.." Marie set down the Sword of Sue Slaying into its proper place. She wiped her brow. "That must be the 200th Sue I've made into a Realistic Being this week. What's with all the Sues showing up." She took a seat beside Gimli. "I mean, there've always been a lot of them, but this is ridiculous!"
Gandalf stood, his chair squeaking on the stone floor. He walked over to where the Sue had formerly been and inspected it. "This one was especially strong in her Sue-ishness." He concluded from the scorch mark she'd left. "She refused to change without a fight."
"They're getting stronger?" Asked Boromir fearfully. "What if they start going after me? Just because I died doesn't mean I'm completely free from this type of humiliation!"
"Hmmm." Gandalf straightened up. "Perhaps we should look into this. Sues can be quite dangerous when they're intent on getting their object of desire. Many have powers beyond extrodinary, sickening beauty."
"Like their tendancy to cut out the Canon and insert themselves into the plot? Hundreds have tried to butt ~owyn out of the picture and destroy the Witch-King themselves and thereby win the heart of their obsession." Stated Aragorn bluntly. "I almost pity her. She has to fight them on a hourly basis."
Pippin suddenly shrieked and jumped up onto the table. They others, shocked, stared at him as if he'd gone mad. He pointed out the window. "We're under attack!" He screamed.
A thunderbolt struck the castle, making it shake. Marie looked to the heavens and mouthed 'Why?', then ground her teeth. "Elemental-Sue." She growled.
Aragorn rushed to the window, Arwen at his side. "We're surrounded!" He whispered to them in a deadly calm voice.
Reviews are made of sugar and spice and everything nice...
flames are made of lizards, snails, and puppy-dog tails.