Nothing is mine except the plot! No money is made off of this fic.

"What do you mean we're surrounded?" Merry asked, dread in his voice. "You can't mean by the Sues?" He fell to his knees and clasped his hands together. "Please let it be Orks. Please let it be Uruk-Hai. Please let it be Sauron. Just please something...anything..but the evil Sues!" He begged.

Marie grabbed the Sword of Sue Slaying and held it high. "We're going to need more than one of those to fight our way out of this mess." Aragorn said glumly as he sank dejectedly back into his throne.

Marie frowned and crouched in front of the door. "Doesn't mean we can't try!" She told them fiercely. Gimli took up a stance beside her.

"If you're going to fight,lass, then I am too." He said firmly, holding his axe tightly in both hands. "Even if it means we go down."

"There may be a way we can escape this mostly unscathed." Gandalf announced suddenly to the surprise of all. They turned and gave him their full attention. He paced across the room, thinking hard as he walked. "We could open up a portal to another of the Universes and dwell there until we find a way to diminish this menace before it takes over Middle-Earth entirely!"

Boromir shook his head. "Of course," He said humorlously. "Where one of the greatest evils Middle-Earth has ever seen had failed..." He gestured towards the window. "A couple thousand obscenely perfect women will succeed."

"Not if I have anything to say about that." Vowed Aragorn. "We've withstood thousands of Orks and badly placed odds..remember Helm's Deep?" They nodded, their hopes rising a bit. Now the odds didn't seem so harsh. "We can do this!"

"Yes we can!" Agreed Marie with a small smile.

Aragorn began a chant. "Can we do this?" He yelled at the Fellowship.

"Yes we can!" They yelled in reply.

"I can't hear you! CAN WE DO THIS?" He asked, screaming at the top of his voice.

"YES WE CAN!" They shouted and cheered, enheartened by their leader's confidence. Satisfied, he sat back down while Gandalf continued to pace in an aggitated way up and down the length of the room. His staff clicked against the stones as he walked. Click, Click, Click.

"Well?" Asked Marie. She left her position at the doors and moved to the window to watch the advancing Sue-Army. "Could we do this portal thingy sometime today? I don't feel like dealing with anymore Sues. My mind can't handle the strain." She rubbed the side of her head to prove her point. "Ow, ow, ow." She complained. "I shall go insane from TumuchSueitis."

"I promise to compose a lament for your mind." Quipped Legolas