AN3/

Strange...I sense a disturbance in the force..is that me staking claim on Tolkien's work?

Nope. That's just my brother's socks growing mold under his bed. *Shudder* No wonder there was a disturbance.

If you haven't guessed already, I don't own anything that the genius otherwise known as Tolkien created and neither do I own 's book or 's movie.

Nor do I own Johnny Depp.

I think I've covered all the basics except for the fact that I don't make any money whatsoever off of this.

Marie awoke to see a strange man leaning over her. He was as pale as a ghost and had lavender eyes. She groaned. "No..please..not another Sue!" The man's face disappeared.

"This one's awake, ." His voice, while distinctly male, was quite high.

A motherly-looking woman came into view. Her care-worn face smiled down at her with warmth and kindness. "Hello, dear."

"Yohla." Marie greeted back groggily.

"Yohla?" seemed confused. "Are you spanish?"

Marie smiled, she loved explaining the words she made up. "Nope, it's a mixture of 'hola' and 'yo'."

"Perfect street talk." Commented the man, coming back into sight beside the woman. He smiled and his teeth were perfect.

Marie scrambled back weakly. "A Stu!" She glanced at the woman. "Get back! He'll try to seduce you!"

The man and the woman he'd called raised eyebrows at each other. The man shuddered, and made a disgusted sound. "Uhhh..missy, that would be a total yuck-fest. I would never, ever seduce my heir's mom." He shuddered again. "Ew. Just Ew."

"Huh?" She stared at him, dazed. Then crossed her arms and stuck out her chin. "Well, if you're not a Stu, then what is your name?"

The man grinned proudly and tipped his top-hat. "Willy Wonka!" He smiled at her expectantly, obviously thinking that she was supposed to know the name.

"Who?"

wilted. "You know..the amazing chocolatier?" She still was confused, so he started to sing.

"Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka,
The amazing chocolatier,
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka,
Everybody give a cheer!-"

Marie sat up straight. "That's the catchy tune!" She pointed at him. "You're a canon!" She sounded excited.

frowned a bit. "Of course I am, you little silly. Why wouldn't I be a canon?"

"Then the Sues haven't gotten here yet!" Said Marie, more than a little relieved. "Thank goodness."

Willy peered at the girl. Why was she here in his factory? He glanced around the Puppet Hospital and Burn Center. There were nine others, dressed in weird, outdated things made of metal and leather. However, she was dressed in a pair of studded jeans and a plain T-shirt. All of them had just popped into his Chocolate Room late at night and the Buckets had discovered all of them floating unconcious in the chocolate river. He was still annoyed about that."What are Sues?" He asked suspiciously.

"Sues are evil characters made up by Fangirls to woo the canon character that they are in lust with. They're made of hormones and usually go away fairly easily if they're touched by the Sword of Sue Slaying or if the object they were made to woo ignores them." She said gravely. " But if they aren't stopped...their powers spread from one Alternate Canon to another and eventually they will rule all of the Universes!"

"Oh my!" Exclaimed . "What do they look like?"

"Some of them have powers, some of them have hair that is streaked with colors like purple, green, blue or red. But all of them are beautiful beyond compare...it's sickening to look at them. That's how pretty they are." Then she added. "And they're perfect. They can do no wrong."

"Could they come here?" Asked .

"It is a distinct possiblity." Admitted Marie. "They've already invaded Middle-Eath."

"Who would these Sues be after in this Alternate Canon?" Asked Willy, looking worried. He couldn't have his heir corrupted by a Sue!

Marie inspected him intently, then gave him a look of pity. "You're very handsome, you know...lots of fangirls go for handsome..."

He scared the birds off of the top of the factory with his screams.