A/N: Because re-writing my old stories is boring and takes time. Sue me for taking a break.

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Of heroes and healing

I don't like change. It may be because of my conservative side but I'd like to think it's because it is a simple fact that it doesn't always need to. It's not because I'm old, I am not old...

Even if I have to admit that I can be sentimental at times or else I wouldn't have returned here. I have a lot of good memories from this meadow, it's one of the last places that looks exactly the same after all these years. Fortunately this is also one of the places, one that holds memories before everything just went to hell, to put it simply.

Here, the sky is still as blue and empty as a newborn baby's, innocent and free of worldy cares. Below such a horizon, the wheat fields are still reflecting the golden sun, making the world light up. This place is very much like it used to be. Even the little oak tree is still standing(even if it's to exactly 'small' these days), but the swing that used to be there has long ago fallen victim to the hands of time and not a trace remains of it.

Funny how everything out in the countryside doesn't really change. Not the day I met him, not the day he left me and not now. It was like this and always would be like this here. I've always liked to watch the world from under this particular tree. Laugh at me if you wish, but the magical side of the world is definitely not connected to this world precisely at this place, so even I am able to find peace here. No one will bother me here.

Except him.

Days like these make me almost sad that I was rid off him, that I no longer have the means to protect him, especially at war times like these. I mean, because, you know, being a protector isn't easy. So it's fine for me to rest for a while, not that I haven't got any fight left in me. I fought more wars than most, no wait that's not, I-I mean, I should just know how to protect someone, I've had the more colonies than I want remember. Even if they all left me, it still counts! Even the ungrateful son of a b-

'' 'Sup, it looks like you're depressed or something, you alright?'' A familiar carefree voice called from above me, pulling me back to the present. Of course he had to find me.

''huh?'' I had been so lost in thought that I didn't even hear him, but now that I had, my face immediately turned even more sour. Why he always has that effect on me, I'll never know.

''You were making this really tragic old man face, see?'' The nuisance responded and furrowed his brows ridiculously close together and stuck out his lip in what could only resemble some sort of pout. It was almost kin of... INTERUPPT YOUR THOUGHTS NOW.

''I'm not an old man!'' Phew, saved it.

''Relax I never said you were.'' He put up his hands as to say 'I'm sorry' and laid down in my lap?!

''You git, what the hell do you think you're doing?!'' I admit that I panicked, he's heavy so don't judge me. ''What are you even doing here. Did you want something? I'll have you know that I was having-''

''England... could you just...shut up for once...'' This is new, I admit that I can sometimes be harsh and rightfully so!

But Alfred, America I mean, usually never demands anything reasonable. Not that shutting up is reasonable, because I always have a valid point. That being said, I just noticed that his eyes don't really match the sky anymore, they look more worn... less innocent... almost torn. I don't like seeing him upset, he has too good puppy eyes when he's upset. Luckily I am immune to those after all these years.

''F-Fine, but get off!'' Okay so maybe not so much immune as a higher tolerance. So, what if I still agreed? I can do what I want thank you very much. Dammit he's not moving away and I can't bing myself to push him off... I'm still going to blame it on the eyes, just so you know.

''...'' Then he sighed, deeply. America is an overconfident happy-go-lucky idiot, sighing is not something overconfident happy-go-lucky idiots like him do.

''Alfred? A-are you alright?'' Now he just had to go and make me worried, why I even bother to worry about someone like him after all he's put me through, I don't honestly know. All I know is that we do have a shared history and I do worry and that's that.

Then he had to let out a shaky sigh. Shaky sighs are not good, they are on the verge of tears not good. I should know, I have shed countless tears for loved ones through the years.

''Could you just run your fingers through my hair? Just once for good ol' time's sake...''

He-he wants to be cuddled?! Oh no, no, no. I can't do this, I mean we're not and I'm not and he might realize... Stop it right there. This doesn't have to mean anything and it's only for good old times sake, r-right? No harm need to become of this. I c-can do this, this is nothing. Just need to move my fingers, see, nothing sensual about this at all.

I-Is he humming?

Hah, I must be better at this than I thought. This is actually kind of nice, he's quiet for once. I can almost feel his smile, a pity I can't see it though, he only grins these days.

That was definitely a snore. I still got it~

I can't believe he still falls asleep from things like these, just like he was still a young colony, pathetic. Though it used to be kind of cute, when he was still my colony and I actually cared, that is. It's not like I don't care now it's just that, I don't know. I probably should still care. What sort of horrible person would ever just stop caring?

Not even I would just be able to stop cold turkey like that. It's just common sense that I at least should feel something for him. Anything at all is fine, this is fine, my feelings are fine.

But it isn't really fine... is it?

If I still care, maybe, just maybe, I should show him some compassion. Not overly much, that guy has a big enough ego as it is. Though I can't help but to wonder how long ago some one touched him like this... oh god the mental images! For christ's sake, nothing dirty now, I'm PETTING his hair dammit, stupid mind reacting on every little... ehm... right...

It's just that, come to think of it, I never say thank you. It's not that I always approve of what he does, especially not when he endangers himself so carelessly. I just, I think, that maybe, he'd feel better, less tiered possibly, if I told him how grateful I am for the things that even he can't screw up. I have after all been taught proper manners and unlike some people I do remember those lessons.

I suppose it's my fault he doesn't remember and eventually had to rely on me again, but can't say that I mind... maybe I'm being selfish, but these times make me feel like I am worth something to him, like I hadn't even lost him in the first place.

It is foolish to think those things when he's not actually 'gone'. He's right here in front of me. Though that is not entirely true, I know that after he wakes up, he'll leave again. He's always off to 'save' everyone, even if they don't need saving. Truth is that he probably could stay if he wanted to, but I know better than to believe that I mean that much too him. He always wanted to be the hero, ever since I first told him stories as a child and who am I to stop those dreams?

I could never ask him to stay. Not even at that time...

Okay, no, just no. I am not going there right now. It hurt, more than anything can or ever will, but it's over and I lost and I should get over it, even though I can't and it feels wrong to. I'm- I'm just not going to go there b-because not that it'll ruin.. I just don't want to right now! Not when he is finally back where he belong, when he's safe and I can hold him and... I'll just stop ranting now.

Sometimes I fear that the git has a point, I rant too much, don't I?

Well I have lived quite a long life and even though I'm not old per say, I've existed for quite some time and...

''Iggy?'' He mumbles sleepily. I must've become so lost in my own world that I stopped moving my fingers. Whoops.

''What?'' He still deserved an angry huff for being a stupid interruptive moron.

''You think too much.''

''What?! Just because you always just act and never think about- OMFG are his lips where I think they are~?

Awww just a peck... eh, right. Just a peck on the lips, it does not mean anything!

A sign of familiarity, like the better part of his childhood, stop getting your hopes up right this instant!

''You know, I love you and all, but sometimes you really just kill the mood.'' Then he leaves, just like that. Typical-

Wait. A. Minute.

L-Love?!

''Alfred?''

Stupid idiot moron, if doesn't answer... grr.. then I'll go after and make him!

''Alfred?! What the hell do you mean by that?!'' Said and done.

'' N-No way I'll say it again, old man. You figure it out!''

'' AMERICA YOU GIT GET BACK HERE AND EXPLAIN RIGHT THIS INSTANT!''

I guess some things actually never change.