Nothing is mine!

(well, 'cept the plot, anywhosenwoggle *yes, you read that right, it really does say anywhosenwoggle.

-

"They cut it off.." Moaned the wizard as he stroked what was left of his beard. "They cut it all off." The poor Istari seemed to be truly tramatized. He began to rock back and forth.

Gimli glared at the Oompa-Loompas suspiciously and stepped back from them in order to protect his own precious facial hair from being forcefully removed.

"What happened?" Demanded Aragorn.

Willy drew in a deep breath. "Well, it seems that while you all dropped into my Chocolate River, he seems to have accidently fallen in with the sheep and, therefore, has gotten shaved."

Marie patted Gimli on his stout shoulder. "Don't worry, nobody's after you brilliantly braided beard." She assured him.

The Dwarf smirked. She'd just called his beard 'brilliantly braided'. For a Dwarf, that was a compliment of the highest degree. And what was better was that the intruder didn't even have a goatee. Gimli resisted the urge to snort. The man probably couldn't even manage a five o'clock shadow!

"Couldn't you grow it back, Gandalf?" She asked out of concern for his mental health.

Gandalf's condition improved instantly. "Yes!" He embraced her. "What an amazingly intelligent thought, Marie!" And, within a few seconds, he had come into possession of a brand-new beard. He tossed aside the old, which Willy stepped away from as if it were a hot coal and hurridly asked his workers to take care of it.

So, with everyone secured, they all piled back into the Great Glass Elevator and continued the tour with the magnificent, marvelous, mad, mad, mad, Wonka.

They coasted to the top of the rails, then began spiralling downwards at an alarming pace. Everyone clutched at everyone else. The Hobbits were clumped together in a huge dog-pile. Arwen was clinging frightened to Aragorn, who had a firm hold on Boromir's shoulder, who was decidedly attached to Marie (he'd learned his lesson with Gimli), who was leaning heavily on Gimli's shoulder.

Not that the Dwarf was complaining. He had a kind of truimphant air about him that made one wonder if he was-

"Here we are!"Chimed Willy. "This is the Rock Candy Mine!"

Gimli beamed. "Finally, something I know about. A mine!"

All of them manuevered out as best as they could, but still ended up falling in a giant heap on the floor of the mine.

"This is where I extract all of my finest Rock-candy." Bragged Willy. "As you go back farther and farther, the flavors change and some become more complex in their taste." He picked up a ruby-like stone from the ground. "This, my friends, is concentrated Cherry Rock-candy." He bent over and picked up a green one. "This is Lime." He put them both in the same hand. "Now, the cool thing is, that when you apply pressure like so.." He squeezed his hands together tightly. "It comes out like this." He proudly held up a small, green and red stone. "It becomes two flavors at once without mixing!"

"That is.." She paused, stuck. "That's so awesome I'm going to have to make up a word for it."

Just as Willy was about to reply, a small Beedeep-Beedeep was heard coming from the area of his wrist. "Hmmm.." His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "That's funny, usually that's reserved for emergencies."

Then every single person, be they of Middle-Earth or nay, had a disparaging thought. "Oh no..." Willy began, horrified.

"Flying Flibbertygibbits." Shouted Marie with a furious expression.

"What are those?" Asked Willy with interest.

"I have no idea." She said darkly as she strode back to the Elevator, the rest of them not far behind.

AN3/

Until next time, my loyal reviewers and readers..parting is such sweet sorrow.

*Also, more lines to be quoted from multiple Shakespearian masterpieces. Which I do *not* own.