Merlin sighed, looking across the table at the place where Arthur had sat and listened to Merlin's tale the previous day. He hadn't really gotten all that far, only to the events at the labyrinth of Gedref, and he dreaded going any further. His actions had been relatively straightforward and unambiguous up until that point, and Arthur had been amazed and even appreciative—especially when he realized the blue light that had guided him from the caves when Nimueh had left him to die had been sent by an unconscious Merlin.
Arthur was beginning to look at him with something almost like hero worship-but Merlin couldn't allow himself to be pleased. Duties had taken Arthur back to the main part of the castle, and Merlin had had to end his tale less than a year in. He wondered what Arthur would think of him when he knew everything.
He knew he wouldn't think of him as a hero, that's for sure.
Heroes were like Arthur-brave, and strong, and true hearted. They did the right thing, no matter what, and what's more, they were open and up-front about it. They did not sneak, and snoop, and lie, and poison. Perhaps it was Merlin's ability to do what was necessary regardless of how he felt about it that had allowed Arthur to remain a hero, without tarnishing his morals with the really tough choices. Merlin had dirtied his hands so that Arthur wouldn't have to. Merlin didn't blame Arthur for it, but he hoped that Arthur wouldn't hate him for the choices he had made.
Merlin sighed and picked up the bucket of dirty water and rag that he had just used to scrub out the tower room, considering pouring the water out the window for a moment. A tower may seem very mysterious and magical, but after scrubbing it all morning, he'd decided it wasn't very practical. It would be a devil of a journey with a full chamber pot—although Merlin had to wonder, was he supposed to be waited on by servants? What exactly was his status in the castle?
And when exactly did he get paid?
Arthur had never been a terribly good employer–and Merlin had never been a model employee–but their professional relationship was now strained and confusing, although Merlin sensed that Arthur's feelings of friendship had not changed, despite what he said. It was almost as though Arthur wouldn't let himself enjoy Merlin's company, or let himself do what he wanted in regards to Merlin.
He supposed kings had to do things they didn't want to do all the time–Merlin just wished that he could be confident that Arthur was pulling away from him for his own reasons, not Uther's reasons.
Merlin wondered if Arthur's opinion of Uther had changed when he had heard the truth about Nimeuh and Uther's deal. He had said nothing—but he must feel something about it. Was he angry that Merlin had stopped him from killing his own father?
"Merlin, you'd better come to the throne room."
It was Sir Leon at the door.
"Has my presence been requested?" Merlin asked. He was careful about such things, now.
"Yes, by me," Leon said, grabbing Merlin's arm and pulling him towards the stairs. "I have seen you have a calming influence before–you can talk sense into Arthur."
"What exactly is going on?" Merlin asked, hurrying to keep up with Leon as they walked through the corridors.
"Danson Keep has been invaded and taken over by soldiers from Nemeth," Leon said. "A farmer just arrived with his horse all in a lather to report it."
"That makes no sense at all," said Merlin. "Nemeth is at best only equal in strength to Camelot, and their king is here at the castle. Why would they do it?"
"Perhaps they feel the king you chose for them is disposable," Leon said.
"But why take Danson? It would be easier to simply kill the boy on the road," Merlin said.
"They might fear your reaction if Donal is obviously murdered," Leon said.
"So you think they would invade a country just so Arthur would kill the king? They would have no way of knowing that killing Donal would be Arthur's reaction; invasion still makes no sense. At least Donal clearly had nothing to do with it. What was Arthur's reaction?" Merlin asked.
"He's put the entire Nemeth party in the dungeons," Leon said.
"He's Uther all over again," Merlin muttered, feeling a stab of worry for Mithian that he didn't want to examine too closely. Leon looked over at him sharply, and some part of Merlin was aware he probably shouldn't criticize Arthur in front of Leon. Leon was a loyal servant to Arthur, and had certain views about anyone saying anything against his king.
Merlin was shocked at what he saw in the throne room. All of the knights and councillors were speaking loudly about their plans for war, and Arthur was nodding his head, listening seriously to something that Percival was saying. It seemed everyone was determined to go and fight. Merlin heard not one dissenting voice.
Merlin approached Arthur.
"Good, you're here," Arthur said. "You'll be responsible for fire. Can you lob some fire balls up at the walls of the keep?"
Merlin looked at Arthur for a moment before he spoke. He wished there weren't quite so many people nearby to hear him, but it had to be said. "I can, but I won't."
"What?" Arthur asked. "I thought you wanted to help the kingdom and be the resident sorcerer. Well, as king, I command you."
Merlin looked around; he noticed nearly half of the knights in the room had heard Arthur and were listening for his reply. "I've agreed to use my magic to keep you and this kingdom safe, but do not make the mistake of thinking you can command me to do anything!"
"Why would you refuse? Nemeth has obviously used this visit to distract us while they invaded our territory," Arthur said.
"There's nothing obvious about it. If King Donal had anything to do with this, he would not have put himself in your power. You should at least let him go. Besides, what exactly is the strategic advantage of taking Danson Keep? Why would they want it?"
"They want it because it is ours. I made the mistake of conceding some territory to them to smooth over the Mithian debacle, and they see us as weak, now. They'll take whatever territory they can, and if we don't take it back, we'll lose it forever," Arthur said. "You know you have divided loyalties on this. You like Donal and Mithian and the whole family, and you don't want to think that they could be behind some plot to threaten Camelot. You are prejudiced in their favour and therefore I shouldn't listen to you at all in this matter."
"If I could choose just one way for you to be different from your father, Arthur, it would not be for you to be open to magic. It would be that you take the time to listen to people who disagree with you. Remember the round table? Everyone equal to everyone else? Your father would never listen to a dissenting voice, not even yours, and we saw the effects of that time and time again. Will you not take a moment to listen to me, and try to be a better man than your father?" Merlin said.
"How can you possibly think insulting my father is the best way to get me to do something?"
"I mean no insult Arthur, but no man is perfect, not even a king. Not even your father. You know he never listened to anybody when he had his mind set on something."
Arthur looked around, seeming to notice for the first time that they were surrounded by knights and councillors who were listening to every word they said. "I'm confused, here, Merlin. I don't even know what you want me to do, anymore. Let the Nemeth party go? Concede the territory? Send the army a welcome basket?"
"I only want you to let me go see what they mean by taking Danson. I mean, what exactly could they hope to accomplish? The land is rocky and wild and unfit for farming, and they don't have the army to fight you and win. I know they don't—and they know it too. Why do you think they wanted that alliance with you, anyway? It was to keep you from invading. Do you think I really went to their kingdom without nosing around a little?"
Arthur looked taken aback. "Well, yes, actually I did."
"And another thing," Merlin said. He looked around the room at the rest of the men and raised his voice to address the room. "I can't really blame King Arthur for not listening when no one will speak out! I bet at least half of you had your doubts about this, and yet said nothing. You must be either idiots or cowards. You're all more willing to fight an unjust war than to speak up against your king? That has to change. Arthur is not the type of king to throw you in the dungeons if you don't happen to share his opinion. Sir Leon was the only person willing to take action, even if it was only to fetch me."
"I don't think it's really your place to chastise anyone," Arthur said. "You might not even be right about there being more to this invasion. It could be just exactly what it looks like."
"Shall I go and see?" Merlin asked.
"Alright," Arthur said.
And then Merlin did something he'd wanted to do since he first saw someone do it.
He disappeared into a whirlwind.