Merlin had not been able to find any sign of an approaching army. He had Kilgarrah drop him near to where Arthur's party was camped, about a morning's ride away from the Keep.
Merlin walked into the camp through a break in the trees and was challenged by Gwaine.
"Just me," Merlin said, raising his hands.
"Did you see an army?" Gwaine asked.
"No, nothing," Merlin said.
"That's good news."
"Is it?" Merlin asked. "I mean, if we knew there was an army, at least we'd know what Morgana was planning. Now we're running blind."
"Hey, you think that dragon would let me ride him?" Gwaine asked.
"He's not a horse, as he is fond of telling me," Merlin said. "Is Arthur still awake?"
"You can check for yourself. He's over there by the far fire," Gwaine said.
Merlin approached the fire, and found Arthur still awake as he often was on such missions. Merlin knew he often stayed awake simply because he was too worried to sleep. Being king and commander was a lot of responsibility. Merlin had always made sure to stay up as long as his friend did, because he knew how lonely Arthur found command.
"You're back," Arthur said.
"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner about being a dragonlord. I have tried to tell you everything, you know. It can't have looked good to your councillors that Mithian knew about that before you did," Merlin said.
"I think you having a dragon at your command leaves you somewhat beyond having to worry about what the councillors say," Arthur said. "You're a special case now. Above the law, you might say."
"You know I would never use any of my powers against the kingdom," Merlin said.
Arthur looked him in the eye. "I know that. I trust you—I can't afford to do anything but trust you. For one thing, I could not defeat both Morgana and a force from Nemeth without your help."
"No army to be seen, by the way," Merlin said.
Arthur stared moodily into the fire, and Merlin sat down beside him. "I almost wish there was. What do you think she's planning? She could let loose a beast in the streets, poison the well, use a spell…the possibilities are endless. She has no need to use an army to bring the kingdom to its knees, especially not if she somehow paralyzes our leadership."
"You think she's going to try to kill you?" Merlin said.
Arthur made no reply, but his glance implied that she always wanted to kill him. "Do you think she'll ever stop?"
Merlin hesitated. Had foreknowledge helped him any? Not really. But Arthur had a right to know that he would probably have to fight her for as long as he remained king and she remained alive.
"She won't stop until one of you is dead," Merlin said.
Arthur sighed and picked up a stick and began to poke the fire. "Sometimes I wonder if I want the kingdom badly enough to fight her for it. It would be wonderful to just live somewhere safe, in a little cottage…"
"If it was just you, and just wealth, I would agree with you. But the people of Camelot are depending on you to protect them from people like her. She enjoys seeing others in pain. She's quite mad, I think," Merlin said.
"Of course you're right," Arthur said, but he didn't look awfully convinced.
"And I will be right there to protect you," Merlin said. "And maybe one day I will kill her. She did say once that I was her doom."
"Do you think you could kill her?" Arthur asked. "She was your good friend. I even thought you were in love with her at one time."
"I thought because we both had magic, that we were alike. I was wrong. We're nothing alike. I know I probably couldn't kill her in cold blood, with no crisis spurring me on—but then, maybe I could. I have come very close several times," Merlin said.
"Parts of the story I haven't heard yet?" Arthur guessed.
"Yes," Merlin said.
"Don't ruin it. I want to hear everything in order when all of this is over," Arthur said.
Merlin smiled. Arthur had certainly changed since he had first met him. Or maybe he had lost the ability to be surprised by anything he learned about Merlin—after all, it had been one shock after another for months.
Merlin caught Arthur's eye and held it. "If I had the chance tomorrow, to do it, to kill her, would you want me to do it?"
"Is there any way you could imprison her? I would like her to stand trial for the things she's done. I want people to know that it wasn't the magic, but what she chose to do with it that led to her being executed," Arthur said.
"Do you want to change the laws about magic?" Merlin asked, hopeful for the first time. It was almost too much to believe, but tonight Arthur was so unguarded—almost like he'd been before he had learned who Merlin really was. He'd even said that he trusted Merlin, which Merlin had never thought he'd ever hear Arthur say again.
"One day, I would like to. I am glad you stopped me from killing my father, but it does make a difference that he knew the deal he was making. He must have felt so guilty for sacrificing his wife…and he blamed Nimueh for his decision, and through her, everyone else with magic," Arthur said.
"I've often thought, Arthur, that your father was broken—mad, even—long before Morgana's betrayal. He could not face what he had done, so he looked at the world in a different way, a way that made him seem faultless," Merlin said.
"And if a king looks at the world differently, then the world becomes a different place," Arthur said.
"The priestesses of the old religion are not necessarily innocent in all this. They demand sacrifices when there is no need for them, and spin deals around to suit themselves," Merlin said.
"I would never sacrifice Gwen for a child," Arthur said.
"There is always a chance, when a woman bears a child, that she will not survive," Merlin sad.
"It doesn't make what my father did any better," Arthur said.
"I'm sorry I lied to you about something that meant so much to you," Merlin said softly.
"Well, I'm sorry that I told you your father was not worth your tears," Arthur said.
"You weren't to know," Merlin said.
"I'm glad you wouldn't let me execute you," Arthur said. "I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. Perhaps my guilt would have fueled a second great purge."
Merlin smiled, grateful that Arthur was being so honest, and seeing the world, and his father, so clearly. "I will see what I can do about finding a spell to imprison Morgana. I know of one—but it would have to be short term imprisonment, because I would have to be touching her the entire time, and that's not something I plan to do indefinitely."
"How long do you think you could stand that?" Arthur asked.
"Without killing her?" Merlin asked. "Not long. A few days, maybe."
"Enough for us to transport her to Camelot and decide what to do with her, then," Arthur asked.
"Yes, but, what if that's what she wants?" Merlin asked. "What if being imprisoned and taken to Camelot is what she wants?"
"Will you just go to sleep? You're starting to make my head hurt," Arthur said.
"I could help you sleep, if you wanted," Merlin said hesitantly.
Arthur looked at Merlin warily. "How?"
"With just a single word," Merlin said.
"Well, that's handy," Arthur said.
"Would you like me to?"
"Yes please," Arthur said, lying down.
"Mameran," Merlin said.
And Arthur slept.