Chapter Eight: Probably Not Kidnap

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Gilderoy watched uneasily as Harry ate the last meal he'd have in their British home for quite a few months.

Harry noticed the staring and glanced up. "It will be fine."

"Of course it will," Gilderoy hastily agreed. "When did I say otherwise?"

"You didn't have to say it," Harry replied. "You look like you're worried that Sirius and Remus will kidnap me and spirit me away to some undisclosed location that you'll never be able to get near or even find."

"No I'm not," Gilderoy said unconvincingly.

Harry just kept looking at him.

"Alright, so maybe I am a little," Gilderoy finally admitted. "But given that Sirius has made no secret about the fact that he thinks he should have custody of you despite giving it up years earlier when Dumbledore asked him to and Remus does little to stop him, can you blame me?"

"They're just taking me to the Hogwarts Express since they won't see me until at least Christmas and you'll be at Hogwarts with me," Harry said soothingly.

"So they say," Gilderoy countered. "I'm not sure I trust them. You know that Sirius is convinced that I erased his memory before taking him to St. Mungo's all those years ago."

"Which you did," Harry reminded him.

Gilderoy gave a put-upon sigh. "That just makes it worse. Still, at least no one else seems to believe it."

"I think it's the way he's phrasing it, really. It makes him sound like it's just a conspiracy theory," Harry opined.

"I've never tried the whole Cassandra Truth but it's really working for me," Gilderoy noted. "Still, if he says it often enough someone might start believing him so I'll need to watch that."

"You know, even if you do think that Sirius and Remus – okay, mostly Sirius – are not above kidnapping me-" Harry started to say.

"Technically, you've already been kidnapped twice," Gilderoy pointed out. "Once by Dumbledore who ignored whatever your parents wanted to happen to you to place with your muggle aunt and one by me a few hours later. Do you really want to be kidnapped again? I mean, isn't that getting just a little old?"

Harry shook his head. "Not really. I don't remember the first two, after all."

"Well, I've never actually been kidnapped but I'm sure that it would be awful so I would recommend avoiding it at all costs," Gilderoy advised.

"…You realize that if I hadn't been kidnapped I wouldn't have come to live with you, right?" Harry asked uncertainly.

"Yes, I do," Gilderoy replied matter-of-factly. "Why?"

Harry sighed. "Just wondering. But like I was saying, even if you think that they want to kidnap me, they won't kidnap me today."

"Oh no?" Gilderoy inquired.

"Today I am going to Hogwarts," Harry explained. "If I had grown up with the Dursleys or with Sirius then I would also be heading to Hogwarts. I probably would have grown up in the UK so going to a British magical school would just be practical and Dumbledore is the Headmaster there. If Sirius tried to spirit me away then he'd be taking me away from Dumbledore and he's already proven that he won't actively oppose him."

"Or at least he did in the past," Gilderoy said cautiously. "Since finding out that you weren't living with the Dursleys after all, that may have changed."

"But Dumbledore will know that Sirius has me, then, and he'll be able to track me down," Harry declared. "Besides, Sirius seems really keen on seeing me get sorted into Gryffindor."

Gilderoy frowned. "You don't sound very enthusiastic about that. Do you not want to be a Gryffindor? I can't say I blame you if you don't. Gryffindors are so very reckless and prone to die young."

Harry shrugged. "I wouldn't mind being a Gryffindor, I guess. I just don't know that I'm particularly Gryffindor-ish."

"Well that's for the Sorting Hat to decide," Gilderoy remarked. Guardians of new first-year students received their own letter from Hogwarts asking them not to tell their child how the sorting was done so as not to ruin the surprise so, naturally, Gilderoy had done so straight away. Harry was his adopted son, after all, and he believed in giving the boy every advantage he could. He did suggest that maybe Harry not let on that he had been told so that whatever he chose to do with the information would seem more impressive. "What House do you think you'll go to?"

Another shrug. "I don't know. It's a bit much to ask me if, deep down, my defining trait is intelligence, ambition, bravery, or loyalty and hard-work."

"I'd try to avoid Hufflepuff if I were you," Gilderoy counseled. "Hard-work is important, of course, but excessive loyalty is never a good thing. It will just get you into trouble and convince you to do something stupid. For that matter, excessive bravery poses the same risk."

"Hufflepuff has a stupid name, too," Harry agreed. "I'm almost positive I don't want to go there. Between the other three houses, though, I don't know where I'll end up."

"You know that I was in Ravenclaw and it's a fine house," Gilderoy said slowly. "But unlike the other houses, there is no password to get into the Dormitory. They give you a riddle and while it's kind of fun to prove how smart you are for awhile, eventually it gets really old."

"That does seem like it would get a little annoying having to do it multiple times a day for seven years," Harry said thoughtfully.

"And while the first-years of other houses generally don't forget the password after the first few weeks, young Ravenclaws often have to wait for someone else – usually an upper classman – to help out," Gilderoy continued.

Harry laughed incredulously. "Just how difficult are these riddles anyway?"

"Excellent question, Harry. Let me put it this way: Which came first, the phoenix or the flame?" Gilderoy challenged.

"Er…the flame? Because how could a bird made of fire exist unless fire did first?" Harry guessed.

Gilderoy shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid that a circle has no beginning, Harry. You might be waiting outside for awhile."

Harry made a face. "That doesn't sound like my kind of place."

"Not to mention that intelligence doesn't really stand out there," Gilderoy added.

"So that leaves what, exactly? Slytherin?" Harry wondered.

"Ah, but Slytherin has its pratfalls, too," Gilderoy cautioned. "First and foremost, there are a lot of very closed-minded people out there who secretly – or not-so-secretly – think that Slytherin is synonymous with evil."

"That's ridiculous," Harry protested. "Why in the world would they have the brave house, the smart house, the loyal house, and the evil house! And we're sorted when we're only eleven. It's kind of rare to find an evil eleven-year-old."

"I did say these were close-minded people," Gilderoy reminded him. "And while those from other houses can hope to disguise their ambition and protest that they're just trying to help other people, no one will believe it of a Slytherin. Your best bet would be pretending to have a different ambition than you really do. Say…making the world a better place. Not that everyone would believe that someone could want that and be a Slytherin."

"So basically what your saying is…that I just shouldn't be sorted?" Harry asked, confused.

"You can't avoid that, sadly," Gilderoy replied. "I don't like all the labels, myself. You never really get past those school day labels, even years after you've graduated. I know they need to divide students for classes and sleeping together but assigning people randomly seems much less divisive and likely to cause problems. As with many outdated or silly customs, however, it's tradition and thus not likely to change."

It wasn't that he thought that all tradition was bad, of course, but he did find that he was far more likely to be told that something was tradition if he didn't like it than if he did. Then again, it's not like he generally questioned the purpose of traditions he was fond of.

"You're giving me a complex here," Harry complained.

"My apologies, then," Gilderoy told him. "The houses do all have their good points as well and you're sure to hear all about them from other people. Some people might think 'blood purity' is one of Slytherins good points since many of those sorted there are from families that cling to it but while Slytherin disapproved of teaching Muggleborns during the age of superstition and witch hunts because he worried they could be spies, that reputation gradually faded. It was only when You-Know-Who began recruiting almost exclusively from the old Slytherin families that that image flared up again. Muggleborns might have a pretty bad time of it if they're sorted into Slytherin nowadays but as a half-blood you shouldn't have much trouble."

"What about as the one who was there the night You-Know-Who died?" Harry demanded. "Would that cause problems?"

Gilderoy shrugged. "Maybe. If they're smart they won't publicly admit that their families supported You-Know-Who and it's not like any of them – even the seventh years – were really old enough to understand what being one of You-Know-Who's followers was like so if they give you a hard time, just remember that they don't know what they're talking about. The world is a far better place without You-Know-Who in it."

"I really don't want to get sorted now," Harry mused.

"That wasn't my intention," Gilderoy claimed. "I just wanted to remind you to be aware of your reputation at all times. Take me, for instance. I should be able to perform the spells to teach the younger years but I'm not going to take the chance that I can't do it so I'll make sure to try it out in the privacy of my quarters beforehand. If I can't do a spell, I'll make sure to avoid demonstrating it so people won't start to question my ability to do the things I've written about if I can't pull off an Expelliarmus."

"Or dropped your wand," Harry added.

"That was one time!" Gilderoy protested.

"And it's a good thing I was the only one there," Harry said.

"It would be even better if we never spoke of it again so we can be absolutely sure that there's no risk of anyone finding out about it," Gilderoy hinted.

Harry was about to reply when there was a knock on the door. "That's them, then."

"Probably," Gilderoy agreed, looking uneasy again.

"It will be fine," Harry insisted. "You're really overreacting here."

"It's overreacting to be concerned when your child is about to leave home for months on end?" Gilderoy demanded.

"It is when you're going to the exact same place," Harry answered. "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Probably," Gilderoy muttered darkly. "I knew I should have actually learned how to work tracking charms…"

Harry couldn't be absolutely sure, of course, but he was fairly certain that Sirius and Remus were not out to kidnap him. There was a brief moment where he vaguely wondered if his guardian might have been onto something after all when they didn't head straight towards the train station but they had just stopped at a diner for breakfast. Harry had already eaten at home but he'd managed to get a little more down because he didn't want his father's friends to feel bad about making him wait around while they ate.

Now that the three of them were walking into King's Cross station, the possibility that he was about to end up anywhere but on the Hogwarts Express seemed to be dwindling by the second. Unless they were trying to get him onto some other train but that was just being silly and overly paranoid.

"Ah, the Hogwarts Express," Sirius said fondly as they made their way through the station. "I haven't been back here in a few years…since I graduated, really. It really takes me back to my first year."

"Were you nervous?" Harry asked him. He was receiving some odd looks thanks to Hedwig but he didn't pay them any mind. He wasn't entirely sure if muggles were legally allowed to have owls as pets but as long as he wasn't stopped, it didn't matter.

"A little," Sirius admitted. "Mostly because my mum threatened to disown me if I wasn't sorted into Slytherin. When I became a Gryffindor, she wasn't pleased, to put it mildly. It took her almost until June to change her mind. I think what finally did it was finding out that your grandparents had agreed to take me in for the summer if I couldn't go home."

"Why wouldn't they want you to stay with my grandparents?" Harry wondered. "Even if they were blood purists, they were Purebloods."

"But they were also 'blood traitors' and they hadn't completely given up on me yet," Sirius explained. "Mind you, I probably would have been better off if they had but Reggie wasn't a complete git back then so I didn't want to leave him alone with our parents."

"Is that your way of saying that you'll be upset if I'm in Slytherin?" Harry asked quietly.

"No!" Remus was quick to reassure him. "It doesn't matter where you're sorted, Harry, just so long as you're happy with it."

Sirius coughed something that sounded suspiciously like 'and not in Slytherin' and Remus thumped him.

"In all seriousness, Harry, I told you about what happened with my mum so that I could contrast that with the fact that no matter where you end up, you'll still be the son of my best friend and my godson to boot," Sirius told him solemnly. "I wouldn't hate you for ending up in Slytherin although I do reserve the right to complain about it every time I see you."

"We'll see," Remus said in a 'like hell you will' tone of voice.

Harry smiled at them. "Thanks guys. So do you have any advice for me?"

"There's always 'don't bother paying attention in History of Magic' but you'll figure that out soon enough," Remus told him. "Do read the textbook, though. The teacher is dull but the subject is important."

"The train ride will be the first time you'll ever get a chance to meet most of your classmates, particularly as you grew up on the continent," Sirius began. "As such, I would recommend choosing a best friend and a rival now. On my first trip on the Hogwarts Express, I met your real father and Snivellus and both relationships lasted all throughout our Hogwarts career and even longer although I don't really see Snivellus these days."

"Who's Snivellus?" Harry asked curiously.

Sirius's face formed a wicked grin and he opened his mouth to answer.

Remus quickly elbowed him.

Sirius winced and rubbed his side. "Sorry, Harry. I'm not allowed to tell you that. Apparently you're young and impressionable and I shouldn't prejudice against productive members of society just because I don't like them." He rolled his eyes to show what he thought of that.

"A little maturity, Sirius, that's all I ask. It's really not a lot and you're in your thirties now," Remus said tiredly.

"Barely!" Sirius protested.

"Do you need a moment to go through a mid-life crisis?" Remus asked innocently.

Sirius' eye twitched. "I will appropriately respond to that when we are not surrounded by witnesses, including Harry."

"Somehow I doubt this will end well," Harry noted.

"Oh, not to worry," Remus said breezily. "We'll just go out to lunch or something after this and in a few hours he'll have forgotten all about this. The mind is the first to go, after all. Ah, here it is."

Harry didn't see the platform but he'd been warned in advance and so casually walked right through it. Once he got to the other side, he waited for Sirius and Remus to join him before asking, "What's to stop muggles from accidentally falling into it if they lean on the wall or something? Muggles have to be able to get in there or else the parents of Muggleborns wouldn't be able to get in."

"Excellent question, Harry," Remus exclaimed, pleased. "Technically, nothing. The portal is only open for a few hours a few times a year, though, and there's always Ministry of Magic personnel on hand to Obliviate anyone that wanders onto the platform and freaks out."

"What do you mean 'Obliviate'?" Harry asked, frowning in faux confusion. His father had told him that it would be best if he didn't seem overly familiar with memory charms.

"They'll erase the muggle's memory of the platform," Remus clarified.

"That doesn't sound very ethical," Harry objected. "Wizards just go around erasing the memories of muggles whenever they want to?"

"It's strictly regulated," Remus assured him. "We have to keep our existence a secret since there are so few of us. If muggles found out about us it might be fine but it might lead to them killing us, experimenting on us, trying to get us to solve all of their problems using magic…we don't want to risk it. Memory charms are a necessary evil, if you will, though it does carry a great potential for abuse."

"You do realize we're not going to see Harry for months, right?" Sirius demanded. "Why are you wasting our last moments with him talking about such boring things?"

Remus rolled his eyes but said nothing.

"I should probably get on the train," Harry told them. "I'll make sure to write, though. And if you want to send me care packages or something, that would be absolutely great. I can't really count on them from dad because he's going to be at Hogwarts with me."

"We wouldn't do anything less for the son of a Marauder," Sirius promised.

"Have a good year, Harry!" Remus said, waving goodbye as Harry started to walk away.

So. He was on his own.

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