AN: Long chapter this time, stuffed full of... Stuff.

8 - Lean On Me

Mathias took Lukas's keys and car and drove him home. The ride into the suburbs was silent save for Lukas's sniffly snores and the occasional "turn right" or "turn onto that street."

He glanced at Lukas anxiously, dozing with his cheek pressed against the window. The younger man's earlier comment about the Botox prompted Mathias to reveal his attraction in the most uncouth way ever. There could have been a smoother way, he thought, forcing down the desire to pinch himself. But, thankfully, Lukas hadn't noticed, or, unthankfully, he had and wasn't going to tell him.

But then again, thought Mathias sadly, he's not himself today. Normal Lukas would probably have punched him in the gut for saying something like that, but this tired, beaten-down Lukas had merely looked away and mumbled something incoherent. Normal Lukas was too proud to have Mathias drive him home. Tired, beaten-down Lukas leaned against the window and halfheartedly mumbled directions to his house.

"Third one on the right," Lukas mumbled against the window as they turned onto his street. He pulled into Lukas's driveway, walked him to the door, and rang the doorbell. Nobody was home.

"Emil's at school," Lukas said quietly, unlocking the door. He let Mathias walk him into his house and help him lie on the couch.

"Do you need anything?"

Lukas shook his head and pulled the couch's throw blanket over himself. "Please leave me alone," he mumbled into the cushions.

Mathias said nothing, nodded, and left to go call a taxi.

XxX

"Will you stop smoking when you're here?" Mathias demanded from the kitchen as Berg sat on his couch, breathing in a cigarette. "Seriously, the landlord is about to kick me out for all this ash. How do you like your coffee?"

Berg grabbed the ashtray and stubbed out his cigarette in it. "Just cream, no sugar," he answered.

"Got it." Mathias returned to the couch with two cups of coffee, one for himself and one for his friend.

"How's work been?" asked Berg, "And why haven't you answered my text?"

"I was out last night," Mathias answered, "and work's fine."

"How's Lukas?"

Mathias shook his head. "He collapsed at work yesterday. Apparently he's been working himself too hard recently. I'm worried about him."

"You're worried about him?" repeated Berg.

"What are you, a parrot? Of course I'm worried about him, he's my friend. I..." Mathias's voice trailed off.

"You...?"

At that moment, Mathias had never hated Berg so much in his life. He was just too damn good at finding truths that were never meant to be found. Giving in, Mathias took a sip of his coffee and sighed. "I... Had a really weird dream about him recently."

"Wet dream?"

Mathias choked on his coffee. "Don't... Say it like that! God, how have I put up with you for all this time, you and your bluntness!"

Berg ignored his jab. "I'm right, though. Right?"

"Shut up."

"I'm right." Berg took a smug sip of coffee. "So," he continued, "What do you actually feel about him?"

Mathias shook his head. "I'm not sure. He's cute and cool and sexy as hell, that's for sure. And he's been helping me, too..."

"But...?"

"But sometimes, he acts like he likes me, and sometimes he just doesn't." Mathias sighed. "I don't know what to think anymore. I just want to know what he's thinking. His agenda. Why he's playing me. But I still, you know, want to hang out with him and talk with him and, hell, be there for him if he needs me. Like friends do. Er... If you can call us friends, now..." he trailed off.

"You're a fool, Mathias." Berg stated.

Mathias shook his head and took a swig of coffee. "I know."

XxX

As he napped, Lukas's dreams that day were filled with confusion and chaos. He ran from darkness. He was bound by chains he couldn't see. He couldn't fight, he could only be dragged down and beaten by an invisible subjugator.

And then there was light.

The unseen tyrant was gone, replaced by Tino, standing, smiling, his arms out, inviting Lukas to come to him and be held. Slowly, Lukas approached him. He trusted that smile and Tino's natural kindness, right? Did he?

As doubt shot through him, Tino changed. He morphed into a monster, one not seen since his childhood nightmares. The chains returned and when he looked up, he was too late to stop the blade of a sword coming down upon him.

Then darkness, and the feeling of being held tightly.

It was Mathias, holding some sort of shield, pressing Lukas to his body as blows rained upon them. The Dane smiled, the same cocky smile Lukas saw in their trial photographs while they were training, and sent the monster flying into oblivion with a simple thrust of his shield, never to be seen again.

Then the light faded into the dim rosiness of an elaborate bedchamber, furnished with antiques and smelling of dust. Lukas lay on the bed, completely naked, with Mathias hovering over him. This time, a gentle smile graced his lips, kind blue eyes never wavering from his as he leaned down to capture Lukas's lips in a deep kiss. Sweet and filled with passion. In his dream, Mathias's voice was not audible, but the words his lips formed sent shivers down Lukas's spine.

You don't have to move, love. Let me make you feel good.

I love you, Luke.

Those words repeated, a mantra in his dream. As dream-Mathias said, Lukas didn't move. He couldn't move. He was totally prone as Mathias tasted, savored, and worshipped his body.

The worst part was that having Mathias's lips on him, having him explore each and every nook and cranny of his body with his tongue and fingertips, felt so goddamn good.

Mathias was annoying. He shouldn't be making Lukas feel this good, and he shouldn't be uttering those damn three words, I love you.

God, it was almost enough to make Lukas fall in love right back.

He awoke, dazed. He couldn't have any feelings other than "like" towards Mathias, right?

Right?

XxX

In the month Mathias had worked at Image, he never expected his first partner shoot to be without Lukas. Disregarding every other confusing emotion bubbling in his heart for him, Lukas was his mentor, the one who had trained and conditioned him to earn a spot in Germany's fast-paced modeling business. Yet there he was, sitting in the makeup room as fragrant powder was brushed across his face and his lips were being teased by translucent gloss, getting ready for his close-up. The makeup artists smiled, made idle conversation as they applied the stuff (Mathias had absolutely no clue all these powders and creams existed), and sent him out with a pat on the back and a smile.

He walked onstage where another man waited, sitting casually on a large white box. He was easily taller than Mathias, with angular, rugged features and sea-green eyes shielded by plastic-framed glasses. Supposedly, he was also partaking in the shoot.This guy looks familiar, Mathias idly thought as he took a seat next to him on the box. Where have I seen him before?

Out of the crowd, Tino bounded up to the stage and blew a kiss at the mystery man. "Good luck today, Berwald," he smiled.

Mystery-man Berwald smiled back, a slightly disturbing sight, in Mathias's opinion. "Why won't ya kiss m'face, Tino?" he asked teasingly.

"Silly," Tino answered, "I'd mess up your make-up. Probably leave some dumb lip-print on it or something."

"I don' mind. Shows th' world yer mine."

Ugh, retch, Mathias thought as Berwald's identity suddenly dawned on him, he's the guy Luke and I walked in on in Studio B that one time. Great. Shows the world he's screwin' Tino, that's for sure.

Thankfully, Tino finished off the disgusting lovey-dovey banter with Berwald and turned to Mathias. "Hey, good luck on the shoot today. Standing on your own, eh?"

Mathias smiled back. "Yeah, Luke and boss man both say I'm ready so I guess I'm ready."

"About Luke..." Tino said, "Have you heard from him? He's not picking up my calls."

"He told me to leave me alone when I brought him home," Mathias answered sheepishly, "so that's what I've been doing. Leaving him alone. I should call him, though."

"Can you? That would be great!" Tino cheered, "I bet he'll pick up your calls." He cast another loving glance at Berwald and sauntered off the stage just as Ludwig announced that the photoshoot was about to start.

XxX

"You're home?"

Lukas leaned against the doorway, clutching a fleece blanket snugly around his body. Emil was studying at his desk, munching on an apple. "Mm-hmm," he replied taciturnly, most of his focus directed at the textbook on his desk.

"It's two in the afternoon, though."

Emil laughed, swiveling his chair around to face his brother. "How long have you been out, bro? It's Saturday. Of course I'm not at school."

"But it was Friday when I... Never mind." I slept all the way through Friday? Wow, I can't believe it, marveled Lukas.

"Anyway," continued Emil, closing his textbook, "you must be hungry. Want food?"

Lukas shook his head. "Not if you're going to be cooking it. You're the only person I know who has ever managed to burn oatmeal."

"Hey, that wasn't my fault," Emil countered, "I had a test that day and I didn't study the night before..." he sighed, "Yeah, it was my fault. Let's order."

An awkward silence ensued, broken by Lukas's laughter. He shuffled closer to his brother and leaned over him, resting his chin on Emil's silver hair. Emil's chuckles joined, and soon the two boys were rolling around in hysterics. Lukas's hands left his blanket to clutch at his aching belly.

"I needed that," he chortled, standing up. "Thanks, bro."

"Anytime," Emil put a hand on his brother's shoulder and squeezed. "How about a pizza? You look like you need some carbohydrates."

XxX

One empty-yet-satisfying box of pizza later, Lukas looked at Emil and said, "God, brother, you are the only one who cares for me like this. Thanks."

Emil covered his brother's hand with his and replied, "Anytime, Lukas. But... I'm not the only one, you know."

"I don't know," said Lukas, "who else could there be? Tino? Berwald?"

"Mathias."

Lukas could feel the bile rising in his throat. "M...Mathias? Why?" He stammered, trying to wrap his head around any piece of logic he could find. He found none, and simply looked at his brother as if the silver-haired boy had grown a second head.

"Remember when you fainted?"

"I was out cold, of course I don't remember," replied Lukas bitterly.

"He stayed with you all night," continued Emil, "Glad he was there, too. He's annoying, but bro, he cares about you. A lot. He's nicer than you'd think."

Shiftly, Lukas eyed the empty pizza box. "I guess..." he muttered, "I have been a little too hard on him..."

Emil regarded him dubiously, then nodded. "I guess that's what you could call it. You should give him a call. Say thanks and stuff." He moved to get up.

"Where are you going?"

"I have a test on Monday. Go call Mathias!" Emil laughed, leaving the room.

XxX

The shoot went without a hitch. Having Lukas's wisdom under his belt made Mathias feel a hell of a lot more confident, and the designers he and Berwald were advertising for, The Vargas Brothers, even marveled at how "magnifico" their suits looked on the tall blond men. Mathias liked to think that he was the one making that suit look good.

Afterwards, Mathias said his goodbyes to everyone and left for home. Returning to his apartment, he decided to give Lukas a call.

This is Lukas Bondevik. I'm not here right now. Please leave a message.

Mathias hung up without leaving a message, then immediately regretted it. Everyone was concerned about Lukas. He had to at least give him a little heads-up. He dialed Lukas's number again, muttering, "yeah, yeah, I know it's you," as Lukas's voice prompted him to leave a message.

The phone beeped. "Yeah, hi, Luke, it's Mathias. I wanted to know how you were doing. What's up? Er... Had my first shoot today with that Berwald guy. And, uh... It went well. Thanks. Call me back, please?"

He ended the call and snapped his phone shut. Nothing he could do but wait.

Five minutes later, his phone rang. It was Lukas.

XxX

It had taken forever for Lukas to find his phone. In the crazy events of the past twenty-four hours, his phone had been misplaced. He found it under the couch, it must have dropped there while he was tossing and turning from that... Dream.

He contemplated calling Mathias, but business came first: he had to find out if he had gotten that contract. Luckily, Ludwig was on his speed dial, and all he had to do was press the number seven and talk.

"Ludwig Beilschmidt, Image, how can I help you?"

"Mr. Beilschmidt, stop with the scheiße and tell me straight: what's going on with us and that American agent who was here?" Lukas asked, slightly panicked.

He heard an audible sigh coming from Ludwig's end. "He didn't pick you."

Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, Lukas asked cautiously, "Who did he pick?" It's now or never that I find out, he thought.

"Ah, he picked Tino," Ludwig casually answered, "But, even after that fainting spell, you're too good for us to let you go," he chuckled, "so I'll see you back in on Monday, okay?"

"Okay, thank you. Goodbye." Lukas said quietly, letting the phone drop from his ear.

His chance was gone. Who knew when another one would come? And despite all his hard work, it was Tino, not him, who had gotten the contract. Tino, who spent his free time fucking Berwald in empty rooms. Tino, who smiled sweetly and blew carefree kisses at the camera when he was supposed to be serious. Lukas almost couldn't believe that he was the one who stole his dream. It was like Tino had stabbed him straight in the stomach, all the while grinning in that happy, cute way, which for the first time Lukas found downright disgusting. Hate, that was the word. He hated Tino right now, more than anything.

Yet, when he glanced back at his phone and found six voice messages from the very person he hated so much at that moment, he couldn't help but listen to them.

"Hi, Luke, it's Tino, I just wanted to know how you were doing. Are you all right? Are you eating enough? I'm really worried about you!"

"Luke, it's me again, I haven't heard from you so I'm calling you again. Please, please, please be alive!"

Lukas let a small smile grace his lips. Just like Tino to assume the worst and then be thankfully wrong. He listened on.

"Luke, oh my God, Luke, why are you not answering my calls? Please be all right, you had better be all right!"

"Lukas Bondevik, I am coming over RIGHT NOW and nothing is going to stop me!"

"Okay, so your brother stopped me. Did he give you my message? Knowing your brother, he probably won't, so here it is: I got the modeling contract, but–Oops, I have to go, I'll call you later."

Lukas felt his blood begin to boil once more at the reminder. He fought it down. Tino had actually come to see him. There was one more message from Tino to listen to. Lukas slightly dreaded hearing what he had to say, but it had to be listened to.

"Aww, you're not picking up again? Dammit, Luke... What I wanted to tell you was that I refused it. I'm not going anywhere without you, and it's not fair that you were deprived of it because you were sick! So... I'm not taking it. I'm not going anywhere, Luke! See you at work!"

"Tino..."breathed Lukas, gawking at the device in his hand in amazement. Tino had rejected an international contract with a well-known American agency for him. That was... Probably the dumbest thing Tino has ever done, Lukas mused with a smile. His boiling blood cooled down; he felt the hate being drained out of him and being replaced with a deep admiration of Tino and his ridiculous selflessness.

But still.

He had lost the contract, and with it, any hopes of becoming an international model in the forseeable future. His dreams had been dashed, all because of a little sickness. The worst part was that he could have prevented it. Maybe slept a little more, maybe not have stressed himself out so much... All the things he could have done to get on that agent's good side, rather than fucking up and keeling over in the middle of a shoot. In the middle of a fucking shoot. How could he have been so stupid?

It was time for the disappointment to settle back in.

There was one more message, this one from Mathias. Listlessly, he checked it. Sure, I guess I'll call him, I think I was supposed to do that, anyway.

Mathias picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"

"It's Lukas. You told me to call you." He mentally kicked himself for being so taciturn, but it was a habit he had fallen into whenever talking with Mathias.

"Guess I did. Well, how are you doing? I heard about the thing with Tino."

Lukas grunted, he thought he had those emotions smoothened over, yet still hot tears threatened to spill from his eyes and tiny hiccups erupted in the back of his throat.

"Are you crying?" Mathias asked quietly.

Lukas couldn't bring himself to answer.

"Is your brother home?"

Lukas nodded, then answered with a tiny "Yes" when he realized Mathias couldn't see him nod.

"Come over. Right now. I'll be waiting."

Lukas hiccuped a small "I'll be there in twenty," then hung up and went immediately for his car keys.

AN: Even though it was long, it was fun to write. Lukas is a really complex character. He's fun.
It's the end of the term, so I'm flippin' out with all these tests and papers and such all of a sudden being thrown at me. It's good to get away for a little bit, though. I was writing about George Orwell's 1984 before this.

Even though I don't usually reply to reviews in the fic, there's one I really need to do here because the reviewer was anon and I can't answer their questions via PM, so bear with me. ;)

Mats:
Wow, I don't know what to say... I feel so flattered!

It's okay, I think your English is very good! :)

I chose Germany as the setting because I did some research and found that Germany has quite a lot of modeling agencies. I also spent a week traveling through southern Germany with an orchestra over the summer. It was great, and everything was so beautiful. (Unfortunately, I didn't speak any German at all during that time. It took my friends and I three days and a LOT of asking to figure out that "Sprechen Sie Englisch?" was "Do you speak English?") I really want to go back on my own, so I just started trying to study German on my own. XD

Image is in northeastern Germany, in Berlin. Beautiful models such as these should be in the capital, no? :P

Thanks for your questions, though! I like answering them. :)

See y'all next chapter! ;D