10 - Seriously

Finally home.

Lukas silently padded into the house, hoping to avoid waking up Emil, and closed himself in his room.

So much had happened. His head was spinning, too much to even allow himself to flop down on his bed, despite how tired he was.

I had sex with Mathias.

"I love you, Lukas."

I am the idiot.

Mathias was an annoying dickwad who didn't know the meaning of personal space. At least, that's what Lukas kept trying to tell himself.

But the truth was staring him in the face; Mathias was, in his own obnoxious way, sweet to the point where thinking about it made Lukas want to cry. Or punch a wall. Whichever was more therapeutic.

Who was the one who stayed by his side all night when the exhaustion was too much for him? It was Mathias.

Who was the one who put up with his sarcasm and verbal jabs yet still smiled upon him kindly? It was Mathias.

Who was the one who had given Lukas a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, and a body to warm him, despite all his failures? It was Mathias.

Mathias was an annoying dickwad who didn't know the meaning of personal space, but, to Lukas's disbelief, he was sweet. He was kind. He was loyal. Hell, he could even be serious if he wanted to.

Idly, Lukas gazed down at his feet and wondered when in the last few months Mathias had become so amazing.

Then he bent down to take off his socks and mentally kicked himself for even referring to him as "amazing."

Mathias's worried face, brows knotted, eyes desperate for an answer, appeared in his mind's eye. He couldn't leave someone like that in limbo forever.

Yes, he had to come out with it.

I love Mathias.

XxX

Love was awful. Fate was cruel. This was probably the first time in Mathias's life where he had spread himself so thin, all for the sake of another person. And of all people, that person was Lukas: cool, frigid, snarky... Almost the exact opposite of Mathias.

Yet he loved him. Even the frigid and snarky parts.

At first it was all about wanting to see if he could make the cool beauty lose his cool, find the burning passion inside him, but now his eyes had been opened. Lukas was just another guy (who happened to be a gorgeous model, but that was besides the point, Mathias told himself,) with feelings, problems, dreams, and failures, just like Mathias. He felt a kinship between them, having failed himself nary a few months before, a kinship of mortality and imperfection.

Lukas wasn't perfect. Neither was he. In that respect, they were exactly the same.

But Lukas was not comfortable with his imperfections. That was clearly evident, even to someone who could be as oblivious as Mathias, and watching him hurt.

Lukas was special. A sweet brother, a determined model, and a sensible person. He didn't need to hurt himself this way, he was already beyond amazing.

Amazing. Breathtaking.

Mathias sat up on the bed and touched his lips gently. The faint taste of coffee remained, and he could almost feel the gentle press of Lukas's lips against his. Had he been more than faintly awake, he would have pulled Lukas next to him, but in the darkness and grogginess, he could barely register the soft kiss Lukas gave him before he disappeared into the night.

It was so quick and so gentle, it could have been a dream. Yet Mathias knew, with every particle of his being, that it was real.

And if the kiss was real, so was Lukas's love.

XxX

It wasn't until the following Monday that they saw each other again. Mathias spent the rest of the weekend bewildered and angry, trying to call Lukas and failing, wondering what the hell had happened. Lukas was definitely hiding from him. He even counted the rings on his cell phone every time he called: usually three, which was definitely enough time for Lukas to check the caller ID and hang up. What was to become of them? Would Lukas even push him away? With sickening disappointment, Mathias knew that Lukas just might. He didn't even want to go to work on Monday. The realization was quite a tough blow, but for the sake of work, he had to go on, Lukas or no Lukas.

But when Mathias strode into Image that morning (he was supposed to meet up with Berwald, Ludwig, their photographer, and the Vargas brothers to discuss their most recent shoot and look at pictures), that mindset went completely out the window when he saw Lukas leaning against the front desk, chatting with Mona as he usually did. He raced over to Lukas and picked him up by the waist, only to have him squirm out of his grasp and counter with a knee to the stomach.

"What do you want?" he snapped, hands curled into fists.

Mathias simply doubled over, laughing and rubbing his sore stomach. "Nice to see you again," he chuckled.

"What's up with you?" Lukas's anger did not subside. He still stood, aggravated, feet apart and fists trembling.

Mathias's demeanor suddenly turned. He straightened up, frowned, and grabbed Lukas by the wrist, dragging him into the empty hallway.

"What the hell, Luke?" He whispered, face inches away from Lukas's.

Lukas placed his hands on Mathias's chest and gently shoved him away. "Give me time to think."

"That was already enough time!" Mathias retorted, "Are you deliberately ignoring me? Especially after what you did Saturday night?"

It was Lukas's turn to get angry again. "What I did? You're the one who had sex with me!"

"Technically, it was you doing the seducing, but that's not what I'm talking about." Mathias smirked.

Lukas's eyes narrowed. That smirk both aroused and enraged him beyond reason. "What are you talking about, then?" he challenged.

"The kiss."

"What kiss? We've kissed plenty of times!" Lukas glanced to the side shiftily; he knew exactly what kiss Mathias was talking about.

Mathias leaned in even closer, his breath ghosting over Lukas's ear. "You thought I was asleep."

Lukas bristled. "You were awake!" He hid a worried frown behind his hand, but the furrow of his brow was completely obvious for Mathias to see.

"Yup. So, explain."

Glancing around, Lukas shook his head. "Not here. Too public. Come see me in our studio after your meeting, then I'll tell you." He pushed Mathias away and marched down the hallway, disappearing around the corner. Mathias watched him leave, a worried frown creasing his face. Just when Lukas was about to open up to him, he snapped shut again like an oyster, right when Mathias was about to reach the pearl inside.

And now that Mathias had caught a glimpse of that pearl, of the precious feelings Lukas kept within his heart, he was enraptured.

He wanted that pearl.

XxX

The photos looked great. Mathias, Berwald, Ludwig, and even the picky Vargas brothers agreed, and the best few were sent out to the advertising firm responsible for promoting Feliciano's and Lovino's designs. Even Ludwig, "Herr Ich-habe-ein-Zweig-in-mein-Arsch" as Mathias sometimes affectionally referred to him in his head, smiled and told Mathias he was doing great so far and that his paycheck for this job would be coming next week. Mathias simply smiled back and thanked him; he didn't want to say anything weird when there was money involved.

After the meeting, which had lasted shorter than Mathias had expected, he headed over to Studio B. It was the only studio he and Lukas had ever shared, other than the photography studio, but Francis was having a shoot that day and it was closed to everyone else. As expected, Lukas was waiting there, sitting on the floor with his back pressed against the window. He rose to his feet when Mathias entered, beckoning him over with a wave of his hand.

"So are you going to tell me, now?" Mathias asked eagerly.

Lukas stiffened. Mathias really knew how to get to the point.

Gently, Mathias reached out a hand, brushing his fingers against Lukas's cheek. "Babe?" he murmured, "Are you?"

"Don't call me that," retorted Lukas, placing his hand over Mathias's.

"Dodging the subject again?" Mathias sighed, frowning. In response, Lukas chuckled, surprising Mathias. "Hey... What's up?"

Lukas did his best to stifle his laughter "You're actually being serious, for once."

"Of course I'm being serious! This is a serious thing!" Mathias replied, hurt. "Seriously... I love you."

"You've said that already." Lukas looked down.

"I'll say it again if you don't believe me."

Lukas stayed silent.

"I love you."

More silence.

"I love everything about you. You're so cool, so determined, so–"

Lukas interrupted Mathias's speech with a shove to the chest. "What movie did you get that from?" he questioned, scowling.

"It's called, Seriously, Lukas: I'm Trying To Tell You How I Feel So Shush." Mathias huffed. It might have been a joke, but Mathias didn't even crack a smile.

"Argh!" Lukas cried out, taking a step back. "Why do you have to be so serious now?" It would have been easier to dismiss Mathias's feelings with a snide remark or a pinch to the cheek if he wasn't being so sincere. "God, you've changed, Mathias. For the better. That's so annoying."

Mathias smiled and reached out towards Lukas again. This time, Lukas docilely walked into his arms to have them fold gently around his back. "I kissed you because I love you too," he muttered quietly into Mathias's chest. "There's your answer."

"Hmm? I couldn't hear you, could you repeat that?" teased Mathias, stroking Lukas's hair.

Cold hands wandered up Mathias's shirt and pinched his stomach, eliciting a high-pitched squeal. "I love you, ok?" Lukas repeated, glaring up at Mathias. "I thought you were an annoying dickface at first," he glowered, "and you're still unbelievably annoying. But," Lukas tugged on Mathias's earlobe gently, planting a kiss on his neck, "you're nice. That's the best way I can put it."

"What do you like about me the best?" Mathias asked eagerly.

"You're pushing it."

Mathias grinned and squeezed his arms tight around Lukas. "I'm done for the day," he said with a suggestive smirk, "want to blow this joint?"

"Absolutely not," replied Lukas bluntly.

Mathias let go. "Why?" he asked, shocked.

"I've got a shoot in half an hour," answered Lukas, a small smirk playing on his lips. "Are you going to watch?"

"Am I?" Mathias said eagerly, "Of course I'm going with you!"

Lukas nodded and led Mathias out of Studio B and down to the shoot room. They crept around the back hallway, carefully avoiding Francis's shoot as it was wrapping up and making their way to the back room where Image's makeup artists waited.

Mathias watched as Lukas lowered himself into the vinyl chair and let himself be pampered and teased by the busy people around him. Even though he had, fairly recently, been in the chair himself, it was entertaining to watch from the other side how the artists worked to soften whatever blemishes there were on Lukas's face (including covering up a small mole he had on his right cheek) and apply heat to his hair to curl it just the right way, all for the camera. When they had finally finished, Lukas looked so much more different: less tired, paler, and more delicate than he normally was.

To be honest, I like Lukas the way he is without makeup, Mathias mused, following Lukas out to the studio and saying hi to Francis as he passed them, having finished his own shoot. He pulled out a folding chair and set it up in the viewing area, straddling it backwards, a habit he had fallen into when sitting in chairs ever since he had started at Image.

He watched, intrigued, as Lukas was posed and primped under the lights and lenses. According to Ludwig, he was posing for advertisements, just like Mathias and Berwald had, but this time he was advertising for some perfume or cologne or something. Why companies used pictures to advertise fragrances was beyond him, but knowing Lukas's charisma, shoppers would be falling over their feet to even be the slightest bit associated with this cool beauty through this perfume.

The light shone on his face, lightening his skin even more, highlighting his foggy eyes, parted lips, and the shadows on the curve of his neck. Mathias shivered.

Delicious.

"More sexual, Bondevik," chimed Ludwig, "remember, you're selling aphrodisiac, not tap water!"

Lukas shrugged and upped his performance as Ludwig directed. His eyes grew more pleading, his lips pursing in a perfect O, and reaching out at the camera–out at his audience.

The falsified countenance he was putting on simply said, "fuck me." Mathias wanted to run onstage and kiss Lukas senseless right there, but he simply gripped the back of his chair tighter and stared on.

Their eyes met. As the cameras flashed, the corners of Lukas's lips twitched, smirking at him for a millisecond, as if to taunt Mathias. Look at me, I can drive you crazy with a single look, and there's nothing you can do about it because I'm up here and you're down there.

Maybe he was reading into it too much, or maybe Lukas was in a snarky mood. Either way, there would be hell to pay when he was done.

Mathias smirked back.

XxX

Lukas, bent over the sink in the back of the lounge, was rinsing makeup off his face with help from one of the makeup artists. When he was done, he dried his face with a grimy towel, only to be seized into a passionate kiss.

"What are you doing?" Lukas whispered harshly, managing to push Mathias away.

"Can't help it; you looked so cool up there. Why are you so cool?" Mathias asked.

"Because one of us has to be, and it's definitely not you." Answered Lukas. Without his makeup, a heavy blush could be seen on his face despite his cold words.

"So cold, Luke..." Mathias pleaded, "Even after you got me all fired up watching your shoot..."

Lukas smirked, casting a sidelong glance at the makeup artists who sat chatting on the sofa. "Too many people here. Follow me home?" He extended a hand to Mathias, who took it gratuitously, pressing a kiss to Lukas's fingers.

"Lead the way, loverboy."

When they walked out, Mathias was nursing a sore cheek courtesy of one of Lukas's pokes.

AN: WOOOO WHAT I UPDATED? It's been a while! Anime Boston was great, if anyone went, I was the bespectacled Finland with the Sweden plushie on Saturday.
Basically this was delayed because of writers' block and recovering from the convention, but I'm not dead, wooooo!
Stay tuned for smut, my lovelies!
(Haha, I'm way too excited for it to be 11:40 PM.)