Chapter Twelve: Ghosts Can Be Surprisingly Dull
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
The next day, Ron ambushed Harry right outside of the Great Hall.
"How could you?" he demanded, looking betrayed.
"I'm sure that I could better answer your question if I knew what you were talking about," Harry said diplomatically.
"How could you get sorted into Slytherin?" Ron demanded. "You know how I feel about that house."
"Actually, I really don't," Harry said apologetically. "But I take it you don't like it?"
"Slytherin is the evil house," Ron explained. "Everyone knows that any dark wizard that ever went to Hogwarts was in Slytherin."
"What about Peter Pettigrew?" Harry retorted, crossing his arms. "He was a secret Death Eater, a traitor, and he told You-Know-Who where my parents and I were thus leading to their deaths and almost leading to mine. And he was a friend of theirs!"
"Oh, right. I forgot about him, actually," Ron admitted. He quickly rallied. "Well…every dark wizard except Peter Pettigrew that went to Hogwarts was in Slytherin."
"I really doubt that," Harry argued. "I mean, what are the odds that Pettigrew was the only dark wizard to have ever not come from Slytherin?"
"Since he was, I'd say those odds are pretty damn good," Ron replied.
"That sounds incredibly unlikely," Harry said frankly.
Ron shrugged. "And yet it happened."
"Unless you've got a list of every dark wizard that ever gone to Hogwarts as well as their former house then you really can't say that it's never happened," Harry insisted.
"Well, I can't think of any other dark wizards that weren't in Slytherin," Ron tried. "That has to count for something."
"Ron, you didn't even remember Pettigrew so I don't think what you can remember is good enough evidence," Harry said gently.
"It is for me," Ron said stubbornly.
"And what about those that were dark, not in Slytherin, but never caught?" Harry demanded. "If it hadn't been for my godfather, no one ever would have known about Pettigrew's treachery."
"I have too much faith in the wizarding court system to believe that that's a serious issue," Ron announced. "Besides, what's the point in being secretly evil? You really have to cut down on all your evil activities and have to spend a lot of time pretending to be good. If I were ever going to be Slytherin, I'd flaunt it."
"I think you mean 'evil'," Harry corrected.
Ron shrugged again. "Same difference."
"It's really not-" Harry started to say.
"Fine," Ron interrupted, "if you won't acknowledge that every single non-Pettigrew dark wizard was a Slytherin, can you at least acknowledge that the rumors came from somewhere?"
"That seems fair," Harry agreed.
"Thus, most dark wizards ever since Hogwarts founding came from Slytherin," Ron concluded triumphantly.
"I'm not sure I'd go that far," Harry disagreed.
"Then where do all the rumors come from?" Ron challenged.
"Probably from the fact that the most recent Dark Lord was a Pureblood fanatic and since Slytherin's traditionally been a house more focused on blood purity than others, a lot of You-Know-Who's supporters were recruited from there," Harry theorized.
"Isn't that the same thing as saying they joined him because they were evil?" Ron asked.
Harry shook his head. "Not really. Had You-Know-Who wanted to kill all Purebloods to make more room for Muggleborns then I assure you that he would have had to have recruited from outside of Slytherin."
"But he didn't," Ron pointed out.
"That's not really how hypotheticals work, Ron," Harry told him.
"All I know is that if all these Slytherins are going evil and all these non-Slytherins aren't then you really have to ask yourself if there might be a common theme," Ron replied. "Something that these evil people might have in common. Such as, I don't know, the fact that they were all in Slytherin."
Harry couldn't believe it. "Are you seriously trying to say that you think Slytherin is the evil house?"
"Absolutely," Ron said, looking pleased that Harry had finally gotten the message.
"Why in the world Dumbledore create an evil house?" Harry inquired. "I mean, we've got a brave house, a smart house, a loyal and hard-working house, and then…an evil house? One of these things is not like the others."
"Well, he didn't want the evil kids to be with the non-evil kids," Ron reasoned. "They'd probably be a bad influence."
"Ron, while I'm willing to admit that by the time we graduate some people might be evil, I highly doubt that they're going to be evil when they're eleven," Harry told him.
"Damien was," Ron countered.
"Damien?" Harry repeated. "You mean from the Omen?"
Ron nodded. "Yeah. Fred and George saw it and described it to me. It didn't really make a lot of sense but one thing I definitely realized was that that Damien kid was pretty evil even at five."
"You do realize that that was fictional, right?" Harry asked.
"And yet there can still be evil children out there. Like in your new house, for instance," Ron said, turning the conversation back to its original point. "Speaking of, I can't believe you were sorted there!"
"Ron, we just met yesterday," Harry pointed out. "Was I really supposed to let your irrational hatred of Slytherin influence where I wanted to be sorted?"
"No," Ron admitted. "You should let my completely rational hatred of Slytherin affect where you wanted to be sorted."
Harry sighed internally, realizing that he wasn't going to win this. "It's not like I asked the Hat to put me in Slytherin, you know."
"Did you ask it not to?" Ron asked him.
"Well…no," Harry replied.
"I had such hope for you yesterday," Ron said mournfully.
"Don't tell me you've written me off as being evil twelve hours after getting sorted into Slytherin," Harry said, feeling a headache coming on.
"Well…" Ron considered it. "Maybe not just yet. But it's practically inevitable now so if you want to avoid being evil you'll have to put an almost superhuman effort into it and spend all your time with non-Slytherins."
"Because of course free will plays no part in whether or not you turn evil," Harry muttered sarcastically.
"Well, well, what is this?" Draco drawled from behind Harry before Ron could respond. "The Weasel sulking about the fact that we got Potter and he didn't?"
"I bet you'd just love to turn Harry evil," Ron growled.
"Oh, please. Throwing around words like good and evil to make yourself feel better about the fact that you're barely Pureblood really isn't fooling anyone," Draco sneered.
Someone grabbed his arm and Harry glanced over to see the blonde girl from the day before – Daphne – leading him into the Great Hall. "Let's just go. Those two will be at it for ages."
"You're probably right," Harry agreed.
"You're Harry Potter," Daphne said as they walked towards the Slytherin table together.
"Or so I've been told," Harry replied.
"I saw you talking to Draco last night. Since he's known all of us forever and you've been out of the country, I assume he gave you the run-down?" Daphne asked him.
"Sort of," Harry confirmed, reaching the table and taking the seat across from her.
"What did he tell you about me?" Daphne wanted to know. "That I'm eccentric?"
"Something like that," Harry agreed. "He didn't elaborate."
"It's not like it's any big secret," Daphne said, shaking her head in mild annoyance, "even if everyone insists on treating it like one."
"Then what happened?" Harry inquired.
"Three summers ago my cousin ran off with a Muggleborn," Daphne explained. "That would be enough to scandalize some people even though it's not like that's never happened before. No, the real 'travesty' is that we haven't kicked her out of the family."
"For what?" Harry asked blankly. "He's not a serial killer or anything, is he?"
Daphne shook her head again. "No, just a Muggleborn. We rarely see her since she moved to Italy but to hear some of the others talk about it, we buried the remains of our murdered squib children in the garden."
Harry made a face, disgusted. "Do people really do that?"
"Not so much anymore," Daphne replied. "Though in the past, those squibs would be lucky to get that."
Their first class was, to Harry's disappointment, History of Magic. Hogwarts was a big school that refused to stay consistent but Gilderoy had taken him there a few times over the summer so he'd have some experience finding his way around…which he also wasn't supposed to talk about so he'd look more impressive in the eyes of his peers.
"I've heard this class is really dull," Tracey remarked as they waited for their teacher to come in. "But I'm not sure I believe that. I mean, it's taught by a ghost. How can that possibly be boring?"
"It's taught by a ghost that obviously has nothing better to do with its time than teach history," Theodore pointed out. "And being a ghost isn't going to make someone exciting after they died if they were already pretty boring during life."
"If he's so boring then why would he still be allowed to teach here?" Tracey challenged.
"Aside from the fact that it's cheaper to have a ghost professor you don't have to pay," Blaise spoke up, "he's got to have tenure by now which makes firing him tricky."
"Plus, Dumbledore clearly doesn't care about the quality of education his students are getting," Theodore added.
"Oh, give it up, Theodore," Pansy said tiredly. "We all know that Dumbledore is a hopeless Muggle-lover but if weren't also at least semi-interested in insuring we get a quality education then our parents would have spent the extra money to send us to Durmstrang."
"If Dumbledore were at least semi-interested in insuring that we get a quality education then he'd abolish the Defense Against the Dark Arts class and establish a new class with a new name but a similar curriculum," Theodore disagreed. "Forty-five teachers in forty-five years is not only an embarrassment but also hardly ensuring we even get a consistent education in that subject, never mind a quality one."
"I don't think it would be that easy to break the curse," Daphne opined. "I mean, if it were then someone probably would have tried it."
"I have heard nothing of any attempt," Draco informed them. "Not to say that Theodore's right, just that we don't know that he's wrong."
"Oh, so now the curse isn't just a conspiracy theory?" Theodore demanded. "It's good to know these things are only ridiculous when I think them."
"Well," Harry spoke up. "Forty-five consecutive years of one-shot teachers does make a compelling case."
"If Dumbledore cared about our education then he'd find a way to get rid of a useless ghost teacher," Theodore continued. "Tenure be damned, Dumbledore's been the headmaster longer than there's been a curse on the DADA job so he's had time to work something out. And if he really cared, he'd stop putting us with the Gryffindors during potions."
"While I agree that the less time spent with the Gryffindors the better," Millicent began, "I don't see what that has to do with quality education."
"Potions are dangerous and I'll bet you anything one of those idiots will try to make us look bad by throwing something in our cauldrons and quite possibly killing us all," Theodore responded. "And for the record, if for any reason one of us feels the need to make a Gryffindor look bad, make sure it won't result in anyone dying, okay?"
"Even if it's a Gryffindor?" Pansy asked him.
Blaise shuddered. "Think of all the witnesses!"
Just then, Professor Binns glided into the room. "Welcome, class. Today we're going to begin the first of our forty-part series of lectures on the goblin wars…"
While Professor Binns hadn't even bothered taking attendance (something that had the Slytherins agree that, excluding Crabbe and Goyle, they would each take turns being the only one to go to the class and take notes), the other teachers tended to have a reaction to getting to Harry's name.
Professor Flitwick gave an excited squeak and fell off the chair he had been standing on. McGonagall was more restrained but even she gave Harry a small smile when reading his name off. They had Herbology with the Hufflepuffs and Zacharias had spent most of the first class throwing little clots of dirt at Harry who had tried his best to ignore the other boy. What was he supposed to do, tell on him?
Sinistra positively beamed at Harry when his name was called which made him feel a little guilty for hating her class. It wasn't her fault, by any means, and she seemed very nice it was just…Harry liked looking at the stars but he disliked getting woken up fifteen minutes to midnight when he had class the next day to go stare at the night sky. Why it was even remotely important that he know the constellations was beyond him but given that they were required for five years meant he had to be quiet and learn them. It was inconceivable, really, that Care of Magical Creatures, Ancient Runes, and Arithmancy were electives and freaking Astronomy was mandatory.
Harry was just on his way to his first Defense Against the Dark Arts class when Dumbledore appeared from out of nowhere. "Ah, Harry. Mind if I have a word?"
"Of course not, sir," Harry said, a little surprised. Surely he wasn't about to start trying to convince Harry to go live with the Dursleys less than a week into the school year?
"So how are you liking Hogwarts so far?" Dumbledore asked him.
Harry shrugged. "History of Magic is a little boring and I don't like having a midnight class but other than that I'm really liking it."
"And how do you like Professor Snape?" Dumbledore asked. "Is he your favorite teacher?"
"No but-" Harry started to say.
"Oh, Harry. Just give him a chance and I'm sure that you'll realize that you misjudged him," Dumbledore earnestly cut him off.
"I haven't really judged him one way or the other at all," Harry replied. "I haven't even spoken to him. I don't have Potions until tomorrow."
Dumbledore blinked. "I see. Well, what do you suppose the chances are of him becoming your favorite teacher after tomorrow?"
"To be honest, I have no idea," Harry answered. "Maybe you should ask me after I actually take his class."
Dumbledore nodded. "Oh, I absolutely will do so. Perhaps I should give you a bit of background information on your father and Professor Snape."
"I already know that he and my father didn't really like each other," Harry offered, wondering why in the world the Headmaster would take the time to give him ancient history on a schoolboy rivalry.
"Oh, it wasn't just that. They absolutely hated each other, true, not unlike you and Zacharias Smith," Dumbledore told him.
"I don't actually hate Zacharias," Harry protested. "He just really doesn't like me."
"No need to worry that I'll think any less of you for disliking your rival," Dumbledore assured him. "It's just a normal part of the Hogwarts experience."
Harry closed his eyes for a moment and told himself that it wasn't worth it.
"One day, your father did something Professor Snape could never forgive," Dumbledore said dramatically.
He seemed to be waiting for something so Harry prompted him. "Yes?"
"He saved his life," Dumbledore revealed.
"…He what?" Harry asked. "How did that happen?"
Dumbledore coughed. "Oh, well, the details really aren't that important. Just know that your father saved Professor Snape at great risk to himself."
"That just sounds a little unlikely," Harry said honestly.
Dumbledore frowned at him. "Harry, I don't know what Gilderoy Lockhart has been telling you but your father was a good man."
"It's not that I don't believe he would save someone's life!" Harry quickly corrected. "It's just that if I didn't like someone and they saved my life, especially at great risk to their own, I would probably get over a great deal of my dislike. Are you sure there's not more to the story here?"
"Nothing really, just a few background details that detract from the overall message of your father saving Professor Snape," Dumbledore said vaguely. "So don't worry if he's a little abrasive at first and acts like you are your father reborn. Just be patient, kind, intelligent, modest, and just overall a veritable saint and I'm sure you'll win him over in no time and he'll be like a second father to you."
"Third father, really," Harry pointed out. "If we're counting my biological father, that is."
"Yes, of course," Dumbledore agreed reluctantly. "Well, hurry along now. You don't want to be late to class, do you?"
Honestly, Gilderoy probably wouldn't care if it meant he could make a dramatic entrance. As he headed off to class, Harry resolved to put that strange conversation out of his mind. Since when was he looking for a mentor, anyway? Maybe he should ask Gilderoy more about 'the Hogwarts experience'?
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