AN3/

Okie-dokie, folks! This is my disclaimer.

[Pleasent,female computerized voice]

Please understand that none of the following characters are in any way the property of *Melda* and that the only thing that said author *Melda* owns is the plot.
Have a nice day.

[End computerized voice]

-

The forest was dark and it seemed to surround them. Snape had his wand out and had his eye on some *very* suspicious-looking shadows. Willy was whistling the background tune of a sea-janty while Jack sung the words. Jareth was staring straight ahead with a bored expression and kept conjuring crystals and lobbing them at Snape for fun. Snape easily ducked them, but gave a scathing scowl in the direction of the obnoxious Goblin King.

Marie and Tarrant were up front discussing some extremely important stuff. "You know, I've never understood what the deal was with Prune Juice." She said in an annoyed fashion. "A prune is a plum without juice. They should call it plum juice because the juice is, in fact, that of a plum. You simply cannot juice a Prune, it's preposterous!"

"You're absoulutly right!" Agreed Hatter. "It is an unjustified misnomer!"

"Exactly, finally someone who knows what I'm talking about!" Marie threw her hands up in the air. "Half the time, most people just stare at me like I'm some kind of lunatic!"

Gimli frowned. "I don't think you're a lunatic." He said as he jogged to keep up with Hatter and Marie. Marie may have been his size, but she walked at a speed that many people would consider a run.

She smiled lovingly at him and his heart started to pound quicker in his chest. "Thank you."

Tarrant pointed out the tip of a white tower. "That's Mamoreal, the home of the White Queen. We're nearly there." He picked up his pace and even Marie had to work herself to keep up with him.

"Don't..you..think.." She said between hard breaths. "We..should...slow..down?" He shook his head, making the ribbon flow out in ripples behind him.

"No. If you want to get to the Queen's castle, you have to run as fast as you can to stay in one place, and then run twice as fast as that to actually get there. So keep running!"

Snape growled as his long strides pulled him up next to the madman. "This is complete nonsense."

"What was that?" Asked Willy as he reached Snape's flank. "It's a terrible habit to mumble."

Aragorn pulled up to them next, he wasn't called Strider for nothing. The dust that they kicked up was enough that it concealed them from sight for the most part. "Where has Legolas gone?" He asked.

"He passed us a while ago." Answered Snape with a winded huff. "Bloody blackguard thought he would do a bit of showing off..I despise show offs."

"Should've guessed." Muttered Marie as she struggled to keep up with them. "You despise everything." She glanced sympathetically at Gimli. "Are we there yet?"

"No."

Marie waited a few more minutes before asking again. "Are we there yet?"

"No."

A couple more minutes. "Are we the-"

"NO WE ARE BLOODY NOT THERE YET!" Shouted Snape. "Merlin's balls, woman! Shut up!"

"We're there now, actually." Corrected Tarrant with a smirk. He ground to a halt in front of a glistening, white castle. The stones that made up the outer walls, and in fact, the entire castle, were a glaring white. All of it was pristine and flawless and beautiful in it's purity.

Marie grabbed ahold of Snape's frock coat and, keeping her eyes on the castle, whispered in his ear. "You would make a killer caterpillar."

He picked her hand off of his person and backed away a step. "You are all bloody insane." He hissed.

"Thank you!" She, Willy, and Tarrant said at the same time with the same silly grins on their faces. "We take pride in that fact. We're very flattered that you noticed."

Snape just shook his head and moved closer to who, in his discrimatory opinion, was the only sane one besides himself.

Hatter, meanwhile, had convinced the guards to let them all in and the party was soon parading through the halls of Mamoreal.

{Thirty minutes later}

"This seems serious." Mused the beautiful queen. "Of course you may have my aid."

Aragorn bowed low before Mirwana. "Thank you, my lady."

She smiled and nodded. "However, I have one condition."

"And that would be?" Snape asked, fearing that he already knew the answer.

"You will take one of Underland's greatest heros with you." She got up from her throne and walked gracefully to where Hatter stood. "It will be a shame to miss all of the wonderous hats you could be making were you to stay here, but I fear they need you more than I." She ushered him to where the already large group stood. "Go, Tarrant. You need fresh air and deserve a nice holiday after what happened with the Red Queen and the Jabberywocky."

"Downal wit th' bluddy begh hid!" He exclaimed loudly.

"Yes, yes." She said. "Down with the bloody big head. Now, go get dressed." She urged him.

He nodded and ran off through a side door. Meanwhile, a blue mist had floated into the room and was currantly taking the form of a grinning cat. "I'm afraid you've just missed him, Chessur." She said in an admonishing voice. "You really should give up your obsession with his hat. He's become paranoid about you stealing it."

"Which was exactly my intention." Said the cat. "It's a very nice hat." He added in a dreamy voice.

Hatter came back in the room and glared at the misty feline. There was one thing different about his wardrobe that detracted their attention from this, however.

"Why is he wearing a skirt?" Inquired Willy. "Is it some other kind of Underland tradition?"

"I' isn' ah skir'!" Insisted Hatter once more in his Scottish brogue. "I's ah kilt! Sommat tha' th' 'ightopp clan 'as worn in battle fer generations!" He glared and crossed his arms in ire. "Besides, i' would only beh ah skir' eff Ah wore anythin' underneath i'."

At this bit of information, many of the males in the room either went pink or green in the face. Snape could be heard gagging while was trying to cover Charlie's eyes.

Marie giggled. "You're going commando!" She exclaimed, then her eyes lit up, an idea taking shape. She whirled on her heel and looked Gimli straight in the eye. "I'm getting you a kilt." She informed him seriously.

"But-but.." He tried to protest, but she shushed him.

"Nope, you're getting one. That's final."

Legolas smirked at his friend. "Face it, mellon, you've been overruled."

Charlie, innocent, naive Charlie suddenly popped up beside Marie. "Why do you want to give Gimli a kilt?"

"Because I like the color purple, now let's get the show on the road, peoples!"