AN3/

The characters belong to their respective creators. Marie is my property, though, and I refuse to share her with anyone but a particularly handsome Dwarf.

Also, I'd like to thank my reviewers. To LOTR GEEK, it's great that to know that I have still some dedicated fans, I haven't gotten many reviews back on the other site with my sequel recently and I was wondering whether I had lost my talent for parodies. Thanks for the cookie baskets, they were much appreciated! To answer your other question, I've been on here for about two years, but there were tech difficulties and they made it impossible for me to get on for some reason. However, I have returned! MUHAHAHAHAH! And yes, I am very much a Gimli fangirl in real life ;). He's just too cute!

The portal swirled with a shade of red that was akin to blood alongside an electric blue. There was nothing fancy about the shape this time, just an ordinary circular portal, a hole that led somewhere.

*That's what she said* Thought Marie as she leaned over it. Two of their number had gone before her, but she hesitated, unsure and slightly afraid. Shouldn't being knocked unconcious cause permanent brain damage if it happened too often? Or would normalacy not comply due to the nature of the current predicament? "What are you staring at, you idiotic little girl?" Grouched Snape.

She gasped and jumped away, clutching her pounding heart. "DON'T *EVER* DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!" She shouted, trying to get her heart to calm down. Picture nice things, she told herself, picture Snape being forced to lecture in his underware. She winced, he would probably be just as intimidating in his boxers as he was in his bat-imitation robes.

Said bat-imitator smirked. "I am a former spy and ex-Death Eater. I will do as I please, thank you very much." He only chuckled darkly as she glared. "Consider this payback for the caterpillar comment."

"I was *trying* to pay you a compliment!" She told him huffily. "It's not my fault you take offense to every single fudging thing that comes out of a person's mouth!"

"Quite right." He agreed. "I should not have blamed you. Dunderheads have not a smidgen of control over their speech."

She raged about, completely unaware that the remaining members of their group were watching the arguement with amusement. They were reluctant to go and leave behind this spectacle. "So I'm a dunderhead again, am I? Don't you know any other way to degrade a person? Only a dunderhead would use dunderhead so much. It shows a lack of variety! You, sir, lack the creative spark!" She accused.

"Idiot, slackjaw, blackguard, dunce, dumbarse, fool, box-of-rocks, stupid, asinine-"

Marie looked at him in feigned confusion. "Why are you describing yourself to me?" She asked innocently.

He stared at her, amusment and anger at war on his hook-nosed face. "Congratulations." He said finally. This time, the confusion Marie showed was genuine. "This is officially the first time in history that I have been unable to produce a sufficiently intelligent retort."

Marie grinned. "Really? Am I allowed to celebrate with a happy dance?"

Snape groaned and covered his face. "Only if it isn't too bad." He relented.

She pouted and snapped her finger. "Awww, man!"

"What's wrong?" He asked flatly, his question muffled slightly by his hands.

"I dance like a spasmatic weasel on crack, that's what's wrong!" She whined. "And here I am banned from dancing badly!" She draped her arm over her eyes and sighed dramtically. "Oh, the *humanity*!"

"Indeed." Grumbled the Potions Master as he hastily swept past her to jump into the portal. They heard him clearly say 'Dunderhead' just before he was gone, but whether he was talking to himself or to Marie, the answer was unclear.

Gimli persuaded Marie to go in after him, and soon, Underland was Hatterless and, due to a certain grinning feline sneaking in during the commotion, Hatter was Hatless.

Life is can be so cruel.