14 - Secrets Revealed
"No wonder you guys were acting all weird," Tino huffed, "I'm not sure I've ever heard Lukas talk that much." He took another look at the magazine and then at the two of them, hurt. "Why didn't you tell us before?" he asked, "We are your friends, you know."
Mathias was dumbstruck. "You mean, you're not flipping shit at the fact that we're porn stars?"
"Of course I'm flipping shit!" Tino snapped, "my best friends' dicks are plastered all over this rag for the world to see! Oh man, oh man... This is so crazy, I can't believe that I know porn stars, and... Oh my God!"
While Tino continued his freak-out, pacing small circles holding the magazine in his hands, Berwald took over. "Why wouldn't y' tell us?" he repeated Tino's question, "Tino's right. We are friends. If som'thing's goin' on, you can tell us." He caught Tino's arm and calmed him down, but Tino wouldn't stop looking at them with that hurt expression on his face. Lukas felt a twinge of guilt hit the pit of his stomach; Tino's face reminded him of Mathias's expression when Lukas pinched him.
"Lukas, is this about your dream...?" Tino asked timidly.
Lukas looked down at his feet, up at the ceiling, anywhere but Tino's large violet eyes which seemed to bore right through his skull. Mathias bit his lip, trying to hold his own against Berwald's concerned stare.
"Tell us, please..."
Hidden from the rest of the world by the shadows of the looming magazine racks, Lukas regarded his companions. Tino, whom he had known since his early days as a rookie model and was not only his best friend, but his mentor as well. Berwald, tall, stoic, steadfast as a boulder and an incredibly loyal friend. Mathias, his partner-in-crime, the one whom he inexplicably loved, who followed him unwaveringly into this seedy job, and being as equally judged as Lukas was. His glance met Mathias's, who took his hand, and they both knew Tino was right.
Lukas swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing heavily against his narrow throat. He opened his mouth to say something when Mathias squeezed his hand and with a sheepish grin, said, "Guess our secret's been revealed, eh, Lukas?"
"I guess it has," Lukas sighed, "This isn't the best place to talk about it, and I'm hungry. Let's get food."
Shrugging, Tino replied, "Okay, but you're going to have to tell us when we get back. I'm not letting this slide." He shot another glare at Lukas and Mathias before his expression softened. "Let me get this stuff paid for and we'll go."
XxX
Lunch was great. The café that Tino introduced to them had excellent food. Lukas, Tino, Berwald, and Mathias talked like normal, their earlier dispute seemingly forgotten, to Lukas's and Mathias's relief. Hopefully, the good food had taken their "side job" off everyone's minds.
The four of them walked back to Image with half an hour to spare before anyone had to go off and do anything again. As per habit, they made their way to the dressing room behind the photography studio and snuggled down into the squishy chairs.
"Mmm. Food." Satisfied, Mathias flopped down, spreading himself out to take up the entire couch. Tino and Berwald took the individual armchairs across the room. Lukas, left without a place to sit, shrugged and plopped down on Mathias's midsection, eliciting a loud cry.
"Fuck, bony butt! Bony butt! Get off of me!"
"I do not have a bony butt," Lukas scoffed, "you just have a weak stomach. Now move."
Begrudgingly, Mathias shifted his limbs so Lukas could sit down. When everyone was all settled in their chairs, an awkward silence settled over them. There was still some tension in the air from earlier. Somebody had to say something, but nobody wanted to.
It was Tino who finally spoke up. "So," he exhaled, "wasn't there something you two were going to tell us?"
Mathias bit his lip. Lukas looked away.
"Bein' a porn star isn't that shameful," Berwald said, hoping to lighten the mood a bit. When no one replied, he planted his head on his hands and stayed silent, dejected.
"I don't necessarily approve," sighed Tino, "but, if that's what you want, do what you will, and if anything goes wrong," his exasperated look faded into a cheeky grin, "give me a call and I will smack a bitch."
"You guys don't hate us or anything like that?" asked Mathias, startled.
"We betrayed your trust, and you guys called us friends," said Lukas.
Tino blushed, scratching his cheek sheepishly. "Well, I admit, we, uh... We overreacted a bit, didn't we, Berwald?"
"'T was just you, not me, luv."
Tino shot his boyfriend an annoyed glance before continuing, "Lukas, you're my best friend, and Mathias, you are too, and whatever happens, the four of us are in this together. I mean... Yeah, you guys did lie to us and keep secrets, but it wasn't really anything big anyway, so..." his voice trailed off, "We forgive you."
"'S what friends do," Berwald added.
"Can I ask just one thing, though?" Tino asked.
"Sure, what?"
"Why are you guys porn stars? I'm just curious."
Ugh, Tino, don't say "porn stars," Lukas chided mentally. "Tino, you already know why. Just seeing if there's another way I can augment my modeling career. As for Mathias, he followed me."
Tino nodded. Lukas could tell that he didn't think it was such an interesting reason but accepted it all the way. "I understand," he said, leaning back.
"I guess that's it, then," Berwald added with a faint smile, an upward twitch of his thin lips. "Y' two are porn stars, an' we're all still friends."
Not you too, Ber, Lukas thought with a roll of the eyes.
Sighs and blank stares filled the air, nobody knowing what to say without sounding insensitive. Naturally, it was up to Mathias to break the silence. "So," he began, "I suggest that we fill up this awkward post-bonding silence with food digestion and modeling small talk. What's everyone doing today?"
"I concur," Tino replied, "I've got a photo book coming out so I'm doing some shoots for that this afternoon."
"I'm picking up some photos and going home," Mathias said, sitting up and stretching. "I'm wiped. What about you guys?"
Lukas shifted, leaning on Mathias's shoulder. "More work," he said, "I think I'm going to be with another artist for the next few hours."
"Boy, aren't you popular?" joked Tino. He glanced at the clock. "Oop, I need to go, I'll see everyone later." Hastily he bid goodbye to his friends and left, and one-by-one, everyone else retired to do their own things and finish up the day, all problems seemingly gone.
Except for one. Lukas remained behind, sitting alone in the dressing room. Tino had forgiven him, yes, but it seemed hollow. He still had no clue whether Tino had gotten over the "incident" or not, and he couldn't tell.
He remembered back to the days when he was a rookie, stiff, awful, and an overall... Shitty model. Tino was his mentor. He was one of the most pushy, annoyingly enthusiastic people he'd ever chanced to know. Even now, he was still pushy and annoyingly enthusiastic, but Lukas owed all his success to him.
And when he thought about how Tino had put his faith and strength into his failure of a self, Lukas knew that he owed so much more. He needed to make up with Tino and dispel the fog around them once and for all. Slowly, he drew his cell phone out from his pocket and dialed Tino's number. It went straight to voice mail, of course–Tino had probably already started getting ready to shoot–but he left a message anyway.
"Erm... Tino, it's Lukas, want to get some coffee after work? Meet me by the front door at 17:00. See you then."
XxX
"Tino, I need to talk to you."
They sat across from each other at a small table in the corner of the café Lukas frequented after work, waiting for the beverages they ordered to come.
"What is it?"
Looking into Tino's eyes, inquisitive and silently imploring him to spill his troubles, Lukas could feel his stomach sink down to the center of the Earth. There was no way he could tell this smiley, happy-go-lucky, unconditionally loyal person that their friendship was on the rocks.
His lips were moving. No, no, shut up, Lukas!
"Tino, are we..."
Shut up, you stupid idiot!
"Still friends...?"
Tino looked hurt.
Lukas Eirik Lund Bondevik, you are a moron, you know that?
"I never thought of us as less than friends," he said quietly, "you were always my best friend... How could you think something like that?"
The waiter came, placing two cups in front of them. Steam swirled upwards from the cups. Lukas watched it dance in graceful patterns in front of his face, stirring his spoon into the darkness. "Aren't you going to drink?" he asked warily, eyeing the untouched cup of coffee sitting before Tino. He hadn't even noticed it was there.
Tino glanced at the cup, waving away wisps of vapor that had floated from the beverage. "Not until you realize that this is all in your head," he replied, violet eyes locked with Lukas's own indigo ones. "Lukas, ever since you started out, I've been glued at the hip to you, sometimes even literally."
Lukas coughed. "I wish you wouldn't bring that up. That was the worst party ever."
"Anyway," continued Tino, "in all those years, you've annoyed me, you've caused me to lose hope sometimes, you've made me go crazy, and you're making me go crazy now, but I've never hated you. I can't hate you. I watched you go from a bitchy young adult to who you are now, and I assume that I've held my fair share in driving you over the edge and growing up, too. I can't hate you, Luke." His eyes glassed over and he gulped. "I would even dare to say... That I consider you my own brother." When he looked back at Lukas, tears pearled around the corners of his eyes and his lower lip was trembling. Then he pulled away, dragging his sleeve across his face to wipe away his emotions. "Fuck..."
Lukas a tear trickle down his cheek, followed by another and another. He had no clue that Tino felt this way. Like a brother? I had no clue... I thought we were just friends from work... Former mentor and student. He watched Tino hide behind his sandy bangs and sip slowly from his coffee cup, hiccuping softly. Tino was always a little too honest. Even though he was about as emotional as the average person, he had a habit of openly displaying his emotions on his face, completely opposite of Lukas and his biting stoicism. There was no explanation as to why they were so close, or why Lukas wanted to reach out and simply cry on this person's shoulder. Friendship, definitely. Brotherhood... Tino's mention of that word brought around memories of Emil. They supported each other without their parents. They annoyed each other to no end. Brotherhood... Even though Tino and Lukas were definitely not related, Lukas could easily see themselves as brothers, supporting and annoying and again supporting each other as he and Emil did.
Friendship, definitely.
Brotherhood, definitely.
"Tino," Lukas choked out, "I'm sorry. I was an idiot. Everything is my fault, I shouldn't have lied to you or not talked to you or doubted our friendship even for one second."
Through teary eyes, Tino smiled back at him. "We forgive each other. Berwald said it best: 'It's what friends do.'"
And through his own tears, Lukas returned the smile.
"We're brothers too, remember?"
AN: WHOMG AN UPDATE WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?
Just goes to show that I'm actually still working on this, ha.
This was a hard chapter to write. I think Finland would probably be the best friend anyone could wish for. Lukas is a lucky guy.
Not as much focus on Mathias in this chapter, IMO... ;_; Or Berwald. Poor guys.
Anyway, let's hope I get the next chapter up sooner than this one! WOOO
Even though the Chem SAT is next weekend and oops, I don't think I've studied anything beyond chapter 2 in my book.