16 - Winners Sometimes Quit and Quitters Sometimes Win
Tuesday morning.
Lukas rose from his sleeping position in the crook of Mathias's arm to the sound of his alarm. It was exactly 8:30. Emil was already at school and he and Mathias had to be at Playgay by 10:00.
"Hey, wake up," he shook Mathias gently, "It's morning. I want coffee."
Mathias yawned and rolled over, trapping Lukas under his arm. "Sleepy..." he mumbled.
"It's 8:30. We need to get up for work," said Lukas, pulling away from Mathias and swinging himself out of bed. "Make me coffee."
Mathias simply pulled the sheets over his head in response. "Five more minutes..."
Lukas shrugged and stroked Mathias's bedhead. "If you're late, I'll burn your breakfast."
"Mmm."
Exactly five minutes later, while Lukas was in the kitchen making omelettes, Mathias popped up behind him, wrapping his arms around the smaller man's waist.
"I didn't know you could cook," Mathias said.
Lukas smirked. "I live with a 17-year-old boy, you think he's going to cook for me?"
"Well, it smells great. Can't wait to dig in."
Lukas's lips curled into a small smile. "Grab some plates from the cupboard above the coffee maker for me, okay? And can you make me some coffee?"
"Sure."
Soon, they sat together at the table, munching on their breakfast as the coffee brewed.
"So, what are you doing today?" asked Mathias, mouth full of omelette.
Lukas finished chewing his food and swallowed before replying. "I have a solo shoot," he said, "it's going in next month's issue."
"You nervous?"
Lukas stabbed his fork into his omelette. "Of course I'm not," he huffed indignantly, casting an annoyed glance at his lover, who didn't bat an eye. The coffee machine beeped, signaling that the brewing had finished, and Mathias got up to bring back two piping hot cups of coffee, placing one of them in front of Lukas.
"Drink up, love," he said. Morning Lukas never was a cold-hearted bitch until his first cup of coffee.
Gratitude glittering in his eyes, Lukas blew on the steaming beverage before taking a long, loud sip. "Feeling better?" asked Mathias.
"Maybe."
"That's good enough." Mathias blew a kiss at his lover and finished his breakfast.
XxX
"You ready for this?" Mathias gave Lukas a reassuring smile. They stood in the hallway in front of the Playgay complex, on their way to the dressing room.
Lukas took a deep breath, shoulders relaxing. "I'm ready," he grabbed Mathias's hand and pursed his lips slightly, an unspoken request for a kiss which Mathias obliged. It was a simple, chaste brush of the lips to lift Lukas's spirits before his shoot, but the snapping of latex gloves and the delighted shrieking coming from behind them brought a sinking weight to both of their stomachs.
It was Kiku.
He ran up behind them, eyes blazing with unrestrained excitement. "Bondevik-san, Køhler-san, are you lovers?" he asked.
Lukas and Mathias exchanged wary glances. Had Kiku seen them kiss?
"Er..." Before the word "yes" passed his lips, Yong Soo's shocked and scared face floated into his head, mouthing the same words he said to Mathias when they first met, Kiku's gonna have a field day!
"Well? Are you?" curiosity-crazed eyes and latex-gloved hands reached out towards them, their owner demanding an answer.
"No, we aren't," tried Lukas.
Kiku's attack didn't waver; "No" was obviously not a satisfactory answer. Although he pulled back, his eyes still held a glint of insatiable curiosity, searching their faces, their bodies, their very countenances for anything that would even barely whisper, "yes."
Mathias and Lukas could feel those hungry eyes drilling into them from behind as they continued on towards the dressing room, afraid to even look at each other lest Kiku once again come out of nowhere and accuse them of being lovers.
They didn't even realize that they had been holding their breaths until the door of the dressing room shut behind them, at which each man let out a hearty scream.
"Relax, it's just me! God, what's wrong with you guys today?"
Yong Soo glared at Mathias and Lukas, his hand still on the doorknob. "Seriously, I've been following you for the past, like, three minutes and you guys didn't notice me," he huffed. His angry look faded upon realizing how shaken Mathias and Lukas were. "Hey, are you two okay? You look like you've seen a ghost!"
"No," replied Lukas, "Kiku found out about us."
Yong Soo fell silent, his terrified brown eyes revealing every worried thought running through his head.
"Yong Soo?"
The Korean man sighed, his shoulders slouching. It was strange seeing the proud porn model, Playgay's former number-one, looking so defeated. "You mind listening to a poor man's sob story?" he asked, lips twisted into a sad smile.
Mathias and Lukas nodded.
Yong Soo closed his eyes, steeling himself. "Back when I was first starting here, I had a boyfriend," he began slowly, "he didn't work here, but the old manager used to let him come and hang around. That was back when Kiku was only a graphic designer here.
"He's a tad messed-up in the head. Overly interested in others' personal relationships. That's why we only have a few models around, everyone else up and left when the old manager quit and Kiku took over.
"Anyway, my boyfriend wasn't really one for PDA, and that was okay, it was a boost of confidence having him around." Yong Soo gave a gentle smile. "I don't know how Kiku found out," he continued, "but he did, and it all blew up around this time last year. We'd barely gotten into the building when Kiku came up at us, begging to change my solo shoot to one with my boyfriend, who wasn't even a model at all. He was a quantum physicist!
"Well," Yong Soo picked at his nails, trying to distract himself from his own memories, "the shoot was pushed through, and the next month, when the issue hit newsstands, my boyfriend's career was pretty much destroyed. He's a model now. Here."
"Who is he?" asked Mathias, "Do we know him?"
Yong Soo stopped picking at his nails, hands falling to his sides. "It's Matthew Williams," he sighed, "And before you ask, we're not going out anymore. Kiku took care of that. He won't even look at me now, and we work together, for cryin' out loud." His eyes screwed shut. "And yet Kiku still asks about us. He won't stop, and now Mattie blames me for everything. It's all Kiku's fault."
Mathias grabbed Lukas's hand protectively.
"Although," continued Yong Soo, "I guess if both of you are already models, it shouldn't be too bad," he flashed a weak smile, attempting to bring up their spirits, and retreated to a corner of the dressing room to absentmindedly flip through outfits. Neither Lukas nor Mathias followed him; it seemed that the man needed some space to be with his thoughts.
XxX
It was time for the shoot. With another quick kiss, Lukas bid goodbye to Mathias and made his way out of the dressing room. Mathias watched him go, then plopped himself down on the couch for a nap. He had an interview in a couple hours, he wouldn't be needed until then.
He had barely shut his eyes when his dozing was interrupted with a loud sound; the door being slammed open as Kiku stormed in. "Køhler-san, we need you, right now!"
"What?" Mathias jolted up, "Is it interview time already?"
"Nope," Kiku's lips curled into a hungry grin, "we need you at the shoot."
"Sure..." Mathias rose and followed Kiku out of the room, down the hall, and into the studio. The only other person in it, other than Mathias and Kiku, was Lukas, who lay splayed naked on a faux fur rug. The sight went straight to Mathias's lower regions; Lukas looked delicious.
"So, uh... You need me to help with lights or something?" asked Mathias. Lukas glared at him and Kiku, features hardened and cold as ice.
"Please strip," Kiku asked, although the hardness in his voice commanded more than it did ask.
Mathias had to raise an eyebrow at this. "I'm not scheduled for a shoot today," he said warily.
"You are now. Please strip and join Bondevik-san up on the stage," insisted Kiku, "Last minute change," he added, a pleasant smile forming on his lips.
Mathias slowly reached up to take off his shirt. "Okay, then..."
XxX
Lukas watched Mathias warily strip from his vantage point onstage. It was odd; usually Mathias was eager to get in front of the camera and show himself off to the world, but this time, he moved with the speed of a snail. He looked up at Lukas; eyes which were usually as blue as a clear sky were muddled with clouds of doubt, searching for answers from Lukas's stoic face.
"It's all right," he said reassuringly, "we've done shoots together before. It'll be fine."
Mathias's lips pressed into a line and he gave Lukas a smile, doffing the rest of his clothes and climbing onstage to sit next to Lukas. Kiku scrambled behind the camera.
"Wait, where's the regular photographer?" asked Lukas, jolting up from his prone position on the fur rug.
"This isn't a normal shoot," Kiku answered tersely. "Now, I need Køhler-san to sit down on the rug, and Bondevik-san to get on top of him."
Lukas straddled Mathias's waist and leaned down. He put on his best seductive pose for the camera, but from his close-up viewpoint, Mathias could see that his arms shook slightly.
Kiku's mutter of "Good, good..." could be heard as the camera went off.
Lukas relaxed his pose and sat up. "Is that all you need?" he asked.
"No," replied Kiku, rummaging around in his pocket and coming out with a small bottle, which he tossed to the couple onstage. Mathias caught it and turned it over in his hands.
"Is this... Lube?" he asked warily.
"Yes, I need you to use it."
Mathias and Lukas exchanged cautious looks. They obviously enjoyed having sex very much, but doing it while Kiku, of all people, watched and–for chrissakes–photographed it was a little bit too extreme. A little bit way too extreme.
Lukas shook his head, eyes wide and locked with Mathias's. No words had to be spoken; both of them clearly remembered Yong Soo's experience. Could they live a life with the stress of Kiku constantly breathing down their necks, asking for shoots like this? What was he going to use these photos for, anyway?
He decided he didn't want to stick around to find out.
However, it was Mathias who spoke first. "Mr. Honda, we can't do this."
"Why? Aren't you two lovers?" Kiku looked at them with a quizzical expression on his face.
Lukas sat up, holding out his hands. "Yes, but–"
"Then you should be perfectly fine having sex," he interrupted.
"We are, but–"
"Now please do what I instruct."
"This is the first time you've ever instructed us, or anyone, to actually have sex on camera," commented Lukas, his normally stoic features twisting with frustration. "What will you be doing with these photos, anyway?"
Kiku stayed silent, looking shiftily from his camera to his feet. "I, uh... Will be..." He couldn't even finish his own sentence.
"You know what, I quit!" Lukas exclaimed joyfully, a rare smile spreading over his lips. Moving with uncharacteristic excitement, he scrambled around the room, gathering up his clothes. "I don't like being a porn model and I don't like this place and I don't like you!"
Mathias laughed, leaping from the stage and snatching up his clothes as well. "I'm outta here, too," he said, "Send our checks in the mail," he added with a chuckle.
Now fully clothed, Mathias and Lukas dashed out of the shoot room, down the hall, out of the building, and didn't stop until they were locked safely inside Lukas's car. Panting, heaving, and laughing so hard that their sides felt as if they were going to split open, Lukas started the ignition. "Was that a good idea?" Mathias guffawed.
"Are you doubting me, dear?" Lukas smirked, drawing out the last word sarcastically.
Mathias laughed and pushed Lukas's shoulder playfully. "That may have been the worst act of dumbassery we've committed. First time I've seen you so excited, too."
Lukas sighed, pulling out of the garage. "I got caught up in the heat of the moment. Don't ever expect anything like that to happen again." As he made his way over the roads, the smirk returned to his lips. "I meant what I said, though."
"Really?"
"Fuck the dream, I'm living the best reality I can."
AN: Wow Jayy, way to pull a chapter out of your ass in a month. Seriously though, this did take me the LONGEST AMOUNT OF TIME to write and gripe gripe gripe gripe...
Proper, though, because all that's coming next is an epilogue. I'll miss this fic, too, but worry not, for I have a SuFin prequel planned and partially written out. Still waiting on my brain to crank out a working title, though.
I love you all, dear readers! Stay tuned for the epilogue!