A/N: Well I decided to continue on, because of the strong support from a lot of the reviews and pm's. Sorry to those that didn't want it to continue.
Thanks to my Beta, Gladius and once again, I don't own Chuck or WOW.
Chapter 39
Sarah was a nervous wreck and she knew she probably burned 500 calories just pacing back and forth in the apartment. Checking her watch for what must have been the hundredth time Sarah stopped pacing, closing her eyes, and took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself the best she could. Placing a hand over her slightly bulging tummy she asked, "Where is your daddy?" She almost expected a response but none came.
"Get it together Sarah, he's just at the therapist. Everything is going to be fine." Sarah spoke the words out loud as if that was somehow going to help her calm down. When that did not work, she started pacing again.
She had cleaned what was left of the house considering Chuck had already done most of the cleaning already, his darn over protecting self. She had then checked over the financials for her fashion company and double checked that the new line up was in order. She even tried playing some World Of Warcraft, but with their guild already taking down the LitchKing, she really had nothing left to do.
Sarah checked the clock in the kitchen, making sure that some time space continuum didn't open up in their apartment and recalibrate the time keeping devices. She started shaking her head then placed a hand to her forehead. She really has become the wife of a nerd.
"Chuck where are you?" Once again she had to control her emotions. If he did come home soon, she didn't want him to think she was pandering around like some love sick wife. After all, they were still working through the punishment from the night at the Ring complex.
Sarah had to smile thinking how well the 'punishment' was working out. The original plan was to have Chuck sleep on the couch and there would be absolutely no sex for at least a month. Well the couch thing lasted only about three hours but it wasn't her fault. Obviously the baby was not happy to not have its daddy nearby. The little one had made it well known for the three hours she tried to sleep without Chuck. It wasn't until Sarah relented and asked Chuck, for purpose of satisfying the baby of course, to come back in the bed. Of course Sarah was covered in her granny pajamas and faced away from Chuck, but the minute his hand wrapped around her and calmly settled on her tummy, the baby calmed down. Moreover, it was not her fault that by the time morning came Chuck's hand had moved up inside her top and was securely gripping her breasts.
Besides, she knew that she had to prepare her breasts for nursing, so who better to get them ready then Chuck. It was strictly for preparing for nursing, or least she still tried to convince herself. And of course that led to the problem with the second part of the punishment. Chuck's warm, soft hand, caressing her nipples proved to be too much for her to handle. She tried to convince herself that it was not good for a pregnant woman to have the stress of pent up sexual tension, so once again, for the good of the pregnancy, she caved on that punishment.
'You really are pathetic Bartowski' Sarah smirked to herself. How did she go from such a strong, independent kick butt woman, to a gob of gooey mess when Chuck was around? He was supposed to be punished and even though he gave off quite the academy award winning performance of how he was suffering from the constant… well constant 'care' that she needed, oh she knew he was enjoying it. Oh heck, who was she kidding, she never felt more alive than she did now. Her thoughts were interrupted as her Chuck radar went off. She quickly grabbed a magazine and ran to sit on the couch opening to a random page. Just in time as Chuck walked in through the door.
"Hey honey, I'm home." Chuck couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry, just always wanted to say that."
Sarah acted as if she had not even noticed he was there.
Chuck tilted his head, getting a much closer look at Sarah and what she was doing. "Uhh, sweetheart, if you want to act like you didn't miss me, you might want to read the magazine, right side up."
Dang it, busted. No use trying to hide it as Sarah threw the magazine to the side and stood up to face Chuck. Enough with the charade, she really wanted to know how the therapy went. She hated the fact the doctor would not let her be in there with him, but after talking to Ellie, she understood why. But she so badly wanted to know what was going on. And even though her and Casey had talked about planting bugs and surveillance in the Doctors office, obviously Casey was concerned too, they both thought better of it. "So how are you Chuck?"
Chuck felt a warmth come over him as he saw the look of concern on his wife's face. He motioned her over so he could give her a hug.
Sarah did not need to be asked twice as she quickly, a lot more quickly then she should, ran into his arms, languishing in his warm embrace.
Chuck just held her tightly, his face firmly planted in her long flowing air. He breathed in her scent as if he was taking his first breaths. No amount of therapy would ever compare to the calming affect his wife had on him. "And in three. Two."
Sarah was confused why Chuck was counting down…
"One." Chuck turned, keeping Sarah still close to him, and opened the door. "Hey Casey, come on in." Chuck smirked at the surprised expression on his best friends face.
"Huh yeah, just wondering if you had any sugar?" Casey tried his best to hide his true intentions.
Chuck just shook his head. "It's fine Casey, I will tell you both how the appointment went."
"Whatever." Casey acted as if he did not know what Chuck was talking about as he stormed into the apartment, never once heading to the kitchen where the supposed sugar was stored.
{* * *}
Agent Daniel Shaw, or what was left of him was sitting in his wheel chair, going over the reports of past events. He was alone now, his personal nurse already retired for the night after changing his catheter, which was still iterating him after the infection that had set in.
Shaw was never one for emotion but he had to admit, losing Jill pulled at his heart strings a little. The things that woman could do in bed was nothing short of incredible. Even besides that, she was a key component in the plan to rule the Ring.
Shaw smiled, or did his best attempt as the right side of his face still did not have feeling restored. Even in death Jill and presented him with a perfect opportunity. The Ring was in disarray and Bartowski and his team was relentless in the pursuit of the remaining Ring factions, which were not many.
That gave him the perfect opportunity to create his own faction of the Ring. Sure he wasn't half the man he used to be, but he still had his mind. He knew what he had to do. It might take some time, but he would reform his own secret faction someday. He would rule the world as crowned king of the new empire.
He couldn't wait as his mind contemplated the events that would have to transpire for the final takeover. This truly was going to be the greatest moment in his...
What is that smell? Shaw thought to himself as he looked around his room. He blew into the straw that controlled his wheelchair to get it to move. It was then he realized what that smell was as sheer horror engulfed him.
{* * *}
"Sarah?" Chuck whispered her name wanting to make sure if she wasn't awake that he didn't wake her. His wife was snuggled, spooned into his side, her hands holding tightly onto his as if he was her lifeline.
"I'm awake Chuck." She turned slightly, not wanting to lose his touch, but also wanting to look him in the eyes. "What is it honey?"
"How do you deal with it?" Chuck was having a hard time looking at her. He really didn't want to put her in this predicament, but he really wanted her help.
Sarah's heart felt like it stopped. Even though she knew what he was asking, she needed to hear him say it. "How do I deal with what?"
Chuck swallowed deeply, making sure not to get the case of foot in mouth disease again. "How do you deal with the killing?"
"What makes you think I'm so good at dealing with it Chuck? Is that what you think of me, like I'm some cold blooded assassin?" Sarah could not help the hurt in her eyes.
Okay, this was exactly what he didn't want to happen. "Never mind, just forget I said anything." Chuck turned over on his side, bringing the blanket up as close to his chin as humanly possible.
Sarah was stunned. Did he really just turn his back on her? Really? And after bringing up such a question? "You don't get to do that Chuck."
"Just go to sleep Sarah. I'm sorry I said anything. I promise not to burden you with my troubles anymore. OW dang it, that hurt." Chuck was rubbing his rib where Sarah had just punched him.
Sarah didn't want to hit him, okay yes she did, but at least it got him to turn around. "Listen Chuck, we've talked about this before. I don't like you thinking of me like that."
"Like what Sarah?" Chuck had a confused look on his face as he shrugged his shoulders.
"Like I'm some kind of wild card enforcer." Sarah was quickly becoming more agitated by the minute.
"Well what are you Sarah?" Chuck wanted this argument to end.
"I'm your wife damn it, and the mother of your child." Sarah was so mad he made her curse in front of the baby.
And that was what he wanted to hear as he gently held her face in his hands, even though the look in her eye made him wonder how long he would be able to keep his hands. "How honey? How did you make that change? That's all I want to know."
Sarah was about to explode on him, but as the warmth of his hands seeped into her skin, and his eyes told her of the love he had for her, and the help he so desperately needed. She quickly calmed down and realized what he was truly asking. "Chuck it's not easy. I hope you know that."
Chuck gave her a quick kiss. "I know that Sarah. I might have thought differently in the beginning, but once I got to know you. I could tell that sometimes it did affect you."
More than he may ever know, she thought to herself. "Chuck, my first 'kill' was one of the worst days of my life. Before that, I knew I was losing a part of me every day I spent training to be a spy." Sarah got a earnest look on her face. "Actually, I started losing myself the day I chose to run with my dad instead of staying with my mom."
"My dad had trained me to be so independent, to be someone I wasn't, an act to play. I got so good at it that I slowly lost where Sam ended and character of the week began. Then by the time the CIA got me, I had totally lost who I was or who I wanted to be." Sarah emphasized this point by bringing Chuck's hand to her belly.
"By the time I was assigned my Red Test, I was so confident I could do it that I didn't stop and realize what I was doing. Graham pumped me up with so much confidence that I would've have done anything for the greater good. It was that moment in Paris, the moment when I pulled the trigger that I completely lost myself." Sarah was trying her hardest to hold back the tears but the darn hormones were kicking in.
"To fight the pain, to hide the disgust at what I did, I became a different personality. I became a dark night." Even through the difficulty of bringing up this part of her past, she still could not help but bring up a Chuckism.
Chuck had to smile a bit at her similitude. It actually made complete since to him what had happened to her, just like what happened to Bruce Wayne. "So how did you come back from the darkness? How did you get to the point where you are today?"
Sarah just looked at him like did he really not have a clue. "Chuck, I know I've told you this a hundred times but I want to change it up a little. Even though you were the one to save me, it was your love, your endless loyalty, and just your ability to see the real girl inside of me. When I finally let my walls down, I got to see myself through your eyes." Now the tears could not be controlled as she paused as Chuck held on to her tightly.
"When I was able to finally see myself through your eyes, I knew there was redemption. I knew who I was and who I wanted to be."
"But Sarah, if I had killed someone before we dated, say if I was given a red test, would you have still loved me?"
Sarah punched him again, this time a little more playful but still with enough force to let him know that was a stupid question. "Chuck, I would've have been an idiot to not love you just because you killed someone. See Chuck, I know who you are inside." Sarah smiled as she touched his cheek. "I know who the real boy is. And no matter what happens, no matter what you do, I know the real Chuck is always in there. It's our job to make sure the real girl and boy always comes back."
Chuck was contemplating what she was saying. He knew people made mistakes, sometimes good people do bad things, but he also knew that there was redemption, especially in the eyes of the ones you love. He realized at that moment that he wanted to feel the hurt and the pain for the lives he took. He didn't want it to consume him, but he did want to remember. That is what would always keep him grounded, make him human.
"I don't know what I would do without you Sarah. I know you always say I saved you, or I broke down your walls. But it's nothing compared to what you've done for me." Chuck paused as he held Sarah's face gently in his hands. "You're my home Sarah, you always have been."
No more words needed spoken as the tenderness of the moment was beyond words. The two partners, the two friends, the two lovers, the two people meant for each just looked into each other's eyes and knew the whole was greater than the sum of its parts. They knew that their bond could never be broken, their love never challenged. They needed each other more than life itself and nothing in this world or the next would ever tear them apart. They were Chuck and Sarah, the greatest love story of them all.