Up to now, because of certain restrictions on how long a chapter name is, I've had to shorten up the original names of some of the chapters, which is quite annoying because I thought that the names gave each chapter character. If anybody is interested, I can put a list of the actual names in the last chapter's disclaimer.

Once again, dear readers, I must remind you that I own nothing. However, I must also insist that I am in no way responsible for you laughing yourself to death...
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It must have been hours that they spent in the twisted version of Arda. By the time they managed to feel even an iota better, they'd had their fill for a lifetime of badly-written puns, singing Dwarves, and debauched tales told by the stoned Uruk-High. What had been greatly entertaining previously had now turned into something annoying. Sort of like an old joke that one's friend insists on repeating whenever he or she gets the chance.

So now, they were debating between suffering through the mental pain of enduring this madness which even Hatter could not stand for long, or going through the crippling physical pain of the headaches. Of course, Snape was all for staying. He was the only one who enjoyed this world, mainly because it embarassed the hell out of his companions. He was just sadistic that way. "I, for one, would vote that we stay." He said, smirking like the cat who just got the cream. "After all, if we run into the Sues in the next Canon, we will need our wits about us."

"He poses a good point." Marie agreed. "Even if he's only doing it because he's an ass."

"If I were an ass, Miss Radcliffe, I believe I would not favor English. I would instead argue with an obnoxious Hee-Haww." He snarked, still smirking.

"What was that? All I heard was a donkey braying." She replied, causing Gimli to snort. Snape did not answer, he was getting too much out of the current situation to risk ruining it. He prefered to just sit back and smirk at their dilemma.

"Cool it, you two." Willy told them with a grin. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that Sourpuss was picking on you because he has a crush on you." He giggled, but Gimli glared at him irritably and scooted closer to Marie. He kept a possessive eye on her.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Hardly." He told them, in a flat tone. "I barely tolerate her as a friend."

Gasps when through the entirity of the group. Aragorn, his eyes wide with disbelief, let his jaw drop. "You consider her a friend?!" He asked.

Snape arched an eyebrow. "Don't act so surprised. I count anyone who does not make an attempt on my life as a friend. It does not mean that I must get involved with the mushy affairs of *feelings*, heaven forbid."

At this they relaxed, knowing that the world was not about to end. Marie looped her arm through Gimli's, at which his smug look could have given Snape a run for his money. "I think we should wait, too." She told them all firmly. "Not only is what Sourpuss over there said true, but we can't win a war if we're disoriented. Even if it's just another few hours, we should stay until your headaches abate themselves. Then try and go on to the next Canon."

Aragorn's eyes twinkled. "You sound like a mother hen." He informed her fondly.

"Bawk-bawk." Clucked Marie, flapping her arms like a chicken. She got up from her seat and looked at it closely. She smiled in relief. "Thank goodness. I haven't laid an egg." She grinned at Gimli. "Sorry, love. Guess you won't be a father this time around."

Gimli snapped his fingers. "Damnit. And I was so looking forward to the sound of little hammers pounding at mini-anvils."

"Well," She said flirtatiously. "We could always try again." Gimli got flustered and looked at her heatedly as she trailed a finger down his beard.

Many of them laughed uproarisly at her little display. Jareth, especially. He grinned at her, already plotting something for the two lovebirds. He wasn't above helping a friend get laid.

"Marie, you should stop." Gandalf said between fits of laughter. "You're distracting us from our debate."

Marie pouted. "But I *like* being a distraction." She whined before leaning in kissing Gimli lightly on the lips. "Especially *his* distraction."

Snape groaned and turned his head. "Can you please cut out that sickening display. You may be adorable, but I can not stomach such-"

"WHAT!" Came the collective shout.

Pippin whimpered. "Merry..did he say what I thought he said?"

"Yeah, Pip." Said Merry in equally horrified whisper. "He did."

" 'ell 'as frozen over." Declared Jack, as he lifted his bottle of rum. "Snape just said somethin' was adorable."

"This is a big deal, why?" Sighed Severus. "You all know she is. I am only stating a fact. I personally do not find her adorable, but that does not change the fact that you all do. Therefore, she is."

Willy frowned. "Well, I think, she's cute as a button." He pinched Marie's nose gently. "Yep, just a little, cutie-pie." He said in a sing-song voice. "Hey!" He said. "That would make a great new candy! Cutie-pies." And then he lost himself in his chocolatier's mind.

"See, now you've distracted everyone." Scolded Gandalf, though he hid his smile behind his beard.

"Not everyone." Marie disagreed. "Just a few."

"Regardless, I believe we should get back on track and stop discussing Marie's cuteness. Even if she is." Snape drawled.

"HEY!" Huffed Marie, crossing her arms. "Whaddya mean 'if'?"

"*Anyway*." Gandalf said pointedly. "How many of us think we should stay?" Half of them raised their hands. "And how many for going?" The other half raised their hands. Gandalf sighed. "It seems we've come to an impasse. Perhaps it is best if we just stay here. There is more harm than good in proceeding onto the next Canon too soon, anyway."

So they stayed. And were rampaged by more singing, Elves with Spanish accents, finger cymbals, and corn suits than they ever thought they could handle.

After spending more time in the awkward, backward Arda-that-was-not-Arda, their headaches receeded into nothing. Gandalf could once again use his magic without pain, and had called them all together again for the inevitable dive into the next unpredictable AC.

A swirly vortex faced them all. And for the first time since travelling into Willy's Canon, they heard a faint tune.

*Dun-da-dun.
Snap, snap.
Dun-da-dun.
Snap, snap.*

"Oh no." Groaned Marie. "Not *another* catchy tune!"

Chapter End Notes:

*Hint.

They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky. They're altogether ookie...