Chapter Twenty-Five: Christmas Shopping

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

"Alright, Harry," Sirius said with a smile as he ushered Harry into Diagon Alley. "Where to first?"

"Do you need to stop at the bank?" Remus inquired.

Harry shook his head. "No, I have enough money."

Sirius looked disappointed. "I love riding those carts."

Harry shrugged uncomfortably. "They make me sick so I try to go to Gringott's as little as I can. I know that they say that they can't go any other speed but I think the goblins really do it to passive-aggressively mess with wizards."

"You're probably right," Remus agreed. "You might get somewhere by implying or outright stating that you don't believe that they can change their speeds. Of course, that 'somewhere' might be a car that's twice as fast."

Harry turned to Sirius. "I actually did some of my shopping already. I figured I'd probably go with you two and I didn't want you to see what I was getting so I had to." That might not have been strictly true but he thought they'd like that excuse. "I do still need to get the Hogwarts professors something, though."

Sirius frowned. "Really? Why?"

His father had been quite clear on the goodwill that could be garnered by the simple act of gift-giving and it wasn't as if it was any hardship on him. "I love Hogwarts and the professors are an important part of the experience."

"Are you planning on getting Snape anything, Harry?" Remus asked delicately.

Harry kept his features carefully innocent. "Of course I am. He's my favorite teacher, as you know."

Sirius turned to Remus. "I blame you."

"Me?" Remus asked, placing a hand on his chest. "What did I do?"

"It's more what you didn't do," Sirius replied. "And that is not teaching at Hogwarts and providing Harry with a better candidate for favorite teacher."

"Who is to say that I would be his favorite?" Remus asked reasonably.

Sirius snorted and scratched behind his ear. "Look who you're up against. Snape. If you can't even beat him out then I'm afraid you'll have to turn in your Marauders badge."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Sirius has been trying to collect the set since we made them back in third year."

"Wait, those are a real thing?" Harry asked, incredulously.

In response, Sirius reached into his pocket and pulled out three badges linked together. "One of these days, Moony…"

"Ignore him," Remus advised. "I've been doing that since approximately five minutes after we got the badges."

"So you never said," Sirius reminded Harry. "Where are we going? I'm thinking Gambol and Japes Wizarding Joke Shop."

"A trip to Diagon Alley wouldn't be complete without a stop there!" Harry exclaimed despite the fact that he had actually never been there. "But first I was thinking of Madam Primpernelle's Beautifying Potions. If we get everything else out of the way first then we can spend the rest of the time in the joke shop."

"See?" Remus said smugly to Sirius. "I told you that responsibility doesn't have to go hand-in-hand with fun-killing."

"It's true, he has," Sirius replied. "I would have preferred a demonstration but whatever works."

They set off for the potions store and looked around for awhile. Sirius ended up getting some hair product for Gilderoy and Harry wondered if he was trying to get a good gift or insulting him. He'd never admit it if it was an insult. Either way, since all of Gilderoy's product was imported and cost a lot more than this (Gilderoy's philosophy on money was that there was no point in having it if you weren't going to spend it) Harry wondered if he was going to use this to try to be polite and smooth things over with Sirius or not.

"I'd be careful with getting this for your professors," Remus cautioned. "People don't always respond well to being given beauty products."

"Oh, I know. I'll probably get most of them books. It's just that I have this friend, Blaise, who's very …conscientious and his latest thing is telling us all about how harmful potions fumes is to hair. I was thinking about getting Professor Snape something to help him out since he has to spend so much more time around potions than we do and he's not OCD enough to take three showers a day," Harry revealed.

"OCD?" Remus repeated, puzzled.

Harry shrugged. "He's not obsessive enough."

A slow grin was spreading across Sirius' face. "I knew your father's genes couldn't be completely snuffed out by a little thing like whatever kind of parenting you get from Lockhart! Let's make it a joint gift, shall we?"

"Sirius-" Remus started to say but Sirius was already gone.

"Excuse me, can I purchase everything you have for greasy hair? No, not just one of each product. I mean everything…"

They salesperson had clearly been asked this question far too many times because she sighed deeply the minute he'd asked it.

"I know that 'Obscura Books' sounds a great deal like 'Obscure Books' and we do carry some rare items but we do not, in fact, specialize in rare books," she informed them.

Harry frowned. "But then why-"

"We were founded by the Obscura family," the woman interrupted, correctly anticipating his question. "They've all died out or married into another family by now but we've kept the name. Despite getting this question alarmingly frequently, the benefits of keeping the name outweigh the costs."

Remus had suggested coming here to look at books for the professors but Harry figured that everyone always got them books so he'd make more of an impression if he got them something else. Still, he had never been in here before so there might be some good finds and it was clear that Remus really wanted to go.

"Do you have a children's section?" Sirius asked.

The salesperson led him off and Harry turned to Remus. "He's not going to get me something from the children's section, is he?"

"What?" Remus frowned momentarily before his eyes lit up. "Oh, no, it's not for you. We both got your gift and our gifts to each other out of the way last week. He's not getting a gift for anyone, actually, but he hates book stores and the children's section seems to amuse him. He does sometimes get some weird looks from concerned parents when he just goes in there without a child and sits down and starts reading but this place looks mostly empty."

Harry didn't really have any idea of what he was looking for in particular but he felt that looking through books was more of a solitary activity and so he turned down a different aisle from Remus.

He was reading with horror the back of one book which seemed to be a part of a series. There was this boy who fell in love with a werewolf and kept trying to get her to bite him so they could be together while she kept insisting that no one could ever love her – despite the fact that apparently this boy wasn't the only one who did – and trying to get him to leave her alone while also dating him. Talk about a mixed message.

Harry would normally not think that that sounded very healthy but the other option was apparently a ghost girl so maybe werewolf-girl was a better pick. Although he really didn't see why those were his only two options. It wasn't like he had any problems with werewolves or them dating – Remus was one, after all – but wanting to become one? How stupid could you get? And while he couldn't know for sure, he imagined that it would be quite insulting for real werewolves to have people romanticize their condition to the point of intentionally trying to share it.

He knew that he should stop reading the covers because it was only freaking him out but somehow he just couldn't seem to look away.

"Hey, Harry," a familiar voice said. "What are you reading?"

Harry nearly dropped the book he was holding when he realized that he had just encountered Ron in a bookstore that he didn't need to be in for the purpose of buying school supplies. He quickly shoved the book back on the shelf. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

Ron leaned forward to see the shelf he had placed the book on. "Oh, the Wolfsbane series! My Mum loves those. I don't see the appeal myself. Mum says it's because I'm a boy but I asked Ginny and she said that Mum tried to get her to read them but she couldn't make it past the first one."

"Wait…it's called the Wolfsbane series?" Harry couldn't believe it.

Ron eyed him strangely. "Yeah, why?"

"How can they have it be called the Wolfsbane series and not have any of the werewolves use Wolfsbane?" Harry demanded.

Ron shrugged. "Well, it is really expensive to buy and making it is supposed to be really hard. You'd think that the werewolves would put the effort into learning if they really cared but that's not what the book's about."

"Then what is it about?" Harry asked. "Because I couldn't possibly enjoy a book that can't exist without a plot hole in the premise."

Ron laughed. "Spoiled by living with an author, I take it?"

Harry tilted his head. "You might be right…I've never even heard of these books before and if they're really so popular then I've got to wonder."

"Either that or you've been living under a rock," Ron replied. "The author's apparently some big dark creature rights activist so part of it is trying to make werewolves seem more human."

"Werewolves are human," Harry said flatly.

Ron shrugged. "Most of the month, sure, I guess. It's that one night, the night of the full moon, that freaks people out and she's trying to make the case that they can be safe then if they take precautions and that people shouldn't be scared of them or treat them badly the rest of the time."

"That's good," Harry said reluctantly.

"Of course, she still wants to sell books and this is a romance series so the other part is just mushy and angsty drivel," Ron told him. "Just don't bring them up around Hermione."

"How come?" Harry asked.

Ron made a face. "She has this whole rant about how sexist the series is with the guy trying to 'tame' the girl or something. I don't know. I don't really read those books so I don't care."

"I'll keep that in mind," Harry promised. "So what brings you here anyway?"

"I was trying to get a present for Percy," Ron explained. "I figured why not go to Obscura Books? That should have some obscure books, right? He likes those. I thought the salesperson was going to hit me when I asked about that."

"They really should have a sign or something," Harry said agreeably.

"Of course, now that I'm here I might as well get Mum the latest Wolfsbane novel. It came out two weeks ago but I know she won't buy it for herself until after Christmas just in case someone gets it for her. And I found a few prank books the twins might like. They don't search out books on principle so I don't think they've come across them," Ron continued. "You?"

"Just looking around," Harry told him.

He heard Remus calling him then. "I guess it's time to go."

Ron grabbed the book for his mother and followed Harry towards the front of the store.

"Did you find anything that you want?" Remus asked him.

"No, it's okay. I think I'll find what I'm looking for at Twilfit and Tattings," Harry told them.

Sirius made a gagging sound.

"What?" Harry asked, confused.

"My Mum used to drag my brother and I there all the time for our clothes," Sirius said. "It's really high-end and she thought that Madam Malkin's was run by a blood traitor. It smells really bad, too."

"He means that there's a lot of perfume," Remus translated.

Sirius shuddered. "It's enough to give you a headache."

"Did you get anything?" Harry asked.

Remus nodded. "A few things, yes. And Sirius managed to find something, too."

Harry peered over at the books that Sirius held in his arms. "Where's Wally?" he asked, his eyebrows shooting up past his hairline. "That's a muggle book series!"

The saleswoman crossed her arms unapologetically. "What sells sells."

"I will find him one of these days," Sirius vowed.

"You know that the answers are in the back, right?" Harry asked rhetorically.

"A true Marauder never cheats!" Sirius cried, outraged. "What do you think I am, a Slytherin?" A pause. "Sorry, Harry."

"Harry's not like other Slytherins," Ron spoke up. "I know that he wouldn't cheat but all of the others totally would."

"See, that's what I'm talking about!" Sirius said delightedly.

Remus rolled his eyes tolerantly. "So who's your friend, Harry?"

"Isn't it obvious? He's a Weasley," Sirius announced.

Remus winced. "I thought that perhaps we could not make snap judgments like that and wait to see if he really is a Weasley."

"But he has red hair. Everyone knows that only Weasleys have red hair," Sirius said matter-of-factly.

Harry thought back to the first day of school and suddenly Draco's warning not to accuse Tracey Davis of being a Weasley made a lot more sense.

"Except for some members of the Davis family and the Bones family and the Prewett family. And let's not even forget about Harry's mother," Remus reminded Sirius.

"Don't worry," Ron told them. "I am a Weasley."

Remus just sighed as Sirius grinned triumphantly.

They ended up having lunch with Ron and he and Sirius seemed to get along great. They apparently had a great deal to say to each other on a great deal of subjects and barely let Harry and Remus get a word in edge-wise. They did stay away from the evil Slytherins topic but Harry did come back from the bathroom once to catch them in the middle of a conversation that they quickly ended. At least they were making an effort?

They got ice cream after that and Ron unfortunately had to leave once a frantic-looking Percy finally spotted him and burst through the door, complaining that Ron had said he was going to be at the book shop and was supposed to meet him there two hours ago. Ron didn't look particularly upset at worrying his brother but he did agree to go after that.

Remus, Sirius, and Harry finished their ice cream and then headed off to Twilfit and Tattings.

"I really don't understand," Remus confessed uncertainly. "You're going to buy your professors clothing? Is that quite appropriate?"

"I don't see why not," Harry replied casually as he moved throughout the shop.

"It does seem rather excessive," Remus fretted.

"You are going to be such a teacher's pet," Sirius complained. "Well…mostly. But Snape doesn't like you anyway."

"You are one of a very small number of people to believe that," Harry informed him.

"Really?" Sirius said, frowning. "How odd. That's another reason to think Snape is terrible, by the way. If he really cared about your mother then he wouldn't have let the fact that you're James' son make him hate you."

"Give me a little credit, please," Harry requested. "Some of the issues we have are entirely my own doing."

"You're right, of course. I'm sorry," Sirius apologized.

Harry finally stopped in front of one of the section. "Perfect."

Remus' eyes widened. "Harry, you're not seriously going to…" he trailed off.

Harry smirked. "I don't see why not. It's a perfectly wonderful idea for a present and I kind of doubt they get many of these. Books are nice and all but as teachers they get more than enough of those. It is December, though, and we do live in a drafty castle in Britain so one cannot have too many pairs of nice, woolen socks. I can even coordinate them by house."

"Well it is original," Remus said slowly. "No one can deny that. And Hogwarts can get rather chilly."

"And since Snape won't be getting any I'll bet you that, regardless of how much he doesn't want a present from Harry, he'll still pitch a fit because you didn't get him special Slytherin socks," Sirius crowed. "See if you can see if he gets himself any in the future, will you, Harry?"

"Of course," Harry said, having no intention of doing so. He didn't even want to know how Sirius expected him to find out what kind of socks Snape wore. He'd just confirm it a little down the line and just make Sirius' week.

Review Please!