AN3/ Dearest readers, I must warn those of you who are allergic to the Twilight series to avoid reading this chapter and the next (of course, there will be a bit of Twi-bashing, as well, though, so that may make up for it). I myself am not a fan, however it was a request and I am prone to allowing those. ;D I own nothing! None of the characters of the beloved genius Professor Tolkien belongs to me, nor do any other characters except my OC.

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They stared at the portal. Just stared. Gandalf blinked twice and the resumed staring. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with it..no, it was quite the opposite..it was that it was entirely too perfect. It was a perfectly formed circle, not even close in shape to any of the others they'd witnessed. Also, it sparkled and twinkled like cut diamonds. Marie screwed up her eyebrows with concentration and frowned. "Shouldn't it be..I don't know..less perfect than it is?"

Gandalf shook his head. "The characteristics of each portal have shown themselves to reveal a clue about the Canon we are about to enter."

Snape crossed his arms and eyed the portal. "Well, if it's looks are anything to go by, I'm sure it has to be a Canon full of Sues. *Nothing* is that perfect." They all heartily agreed.

"Well, are we going to jump in it or not?" Asked Pippin. "I'm getting hungry!" Merry expressed similar complaints.

"Haven't you been stuffing your faces in nearly every Canon we visit?" Snape said scornfully.

"But every time we eat there, when we leave, it's almost as if the food disappears from our bellies." Insisted Pippin.

"Maybe that is exactly what happens." Marie proposed. "Perhaps things that belong in one Canon cannot exist in another."

Jareth shook his head. "No, that can't be it because then none of us would be here. It is more likely that our metabolisms speed up and burn off calories faster than normal due to the energy expenditure."

"Probably." Snape agreed. "However, if we are lucky enough, we can remedy that by going to the nearest McDonald's in the coming Canon."

"McDonald's?" Marie asked, shocked. "There's a McDonald's in every Canon?"

Snape nodded with a grimace. "It seems that even the Canons are inevitable victims of that incredibly determined fastfood chain."

Marie sighed. "Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised...I kind of wondered what a Wal*Mart was doing half a mile from Mount Doom. I guess even the Dark Lord Sauron is thrifty." She glanced around and took a deep breath. "Is everyone ready?" She asked.

"Baby, I'm ready for anything, anytime." Austin joked from behind her. Marie glared half-heartedly over her shoulder at him as she took the lead and stepped into the portal first.

Bella took in all the scents..she was on the hunt and on the trail of a mountain lion. Suddenly, she caught a whiff of a lovely scent, it was so compelling to follow that she felt as though she had a hook in her mouth like one of Charlie's fish. It smelled like candy...like the dark chocolate that she'd been fond of as a little girl. She knew what it was...a human's blood, but hadn't Edward scouted this area out and found no humans for hundreds of miles? She used her gift, the incredible self-control, to suppress her urge to tear off in the direction that the smell was coming from. Instead, she kept cautious and ran in the other direction.

She was running so hard and fast, concentrating so much of her newly acquired vampire mindpower into the 'mind over matter' technique, that she ran straight into a stone body. She looked up, startled, and a snarl began to form on her lips, then she realized who she'd ran into and a heavy feeling of guilt settled in the pit of her stomach. "That's the second time I've growled at you." She said quietly, so quietly that a human would not have been able to hear it.

Edward laughed and pulled her close. "How many times do I have to tell you that such a reaction is normal?" He ghosted his lips over hers and she felt herself automatically respond. "What has you so stressed, my love?"

"Indeed." Jasper appeared by Edward's side. "I can feel your unease. What has happened?"

Bella glanced back and forth between the both of them. "Humans." She said.