You've Got Fanmail! Chapter 35: Marie Has Found Her Inner Song, a lord of the rings fanfic

own nothing

I'm leaving tommorrow. *sighs*

Marie; We'll miss you!

Tarrant; Fairfarren, Melda. *He bows deeply*

Snape; Good riddence, your brand of humor is atrocious.

"Hey!"

Snape; Just saying. I mean, just look at what you just wrote, that was comedy at it's worst.

"Don't make me end you! I could kill you off with a tap of my keyboard keys!"

Snape; I've very scared. Look how terrified I am *Yawns*.

"I hate you."

Snape;If you did, I wouldn't be here.

"Yes I do. Next chapter, you are getting a beating."

Snape; I think I can handle anything you throw at me.

"Oh, really?" *Grins evilly*

Peoples, with me, expect the unexpected, especially with this and the next chapter.

Edward watched as Marie hooked up the cords and the amp. She plucked a few strings and grinned. "She found my electric guitar." Said Edward to the others, who groaned. When Marie decided to have a Glee moment, she did the weirdest things.

"It's only to pass the time, besides, you'll laugh when you hear the song I'm singing."

"Are you sure you won't leave the singing to the Elves and the aspiring pop star over there?" Snape pointed at Jareth, who looked offended.

"I'm not an aspiring *anything*!" He said angrily. "I'm a professional."

"Yes. A professional asshole." Replied Snape with so much grace that it would seem that he might have been complimenting the harassed Goblin King.

Jareth started to yell back his retort, but Marie cut him off by turning up the volume on the amp and strumming the strings, making everyone in the room cover their ears in pain. "Will you all shut up and let me sing?" She said in an annoyed voice.

*Life imitates the game of chess
You can be the rook or the pawn
If you have the strategy that's best
You can be the king or in this case the don
It's easy to get knocked out of the game
Depending on which way you want to play
You've got to have eyes in the back of your head
Now that we have that out of the way

Rev up the Lincoln
And lets get to drinking some caffeino
Lets go to nicolettis
Cause he makes a mean spaghetti sauce
I'm a connoisseur of the finer things in life
I'll take any flick with al pacino
I'm a man of respect and I prefer to be addressed as padrino

If you're the type that likes to spill the beans
You could be a stone in someone's shoe
You'll receive a kiss on each cheek
Then you'll know that pretty soon the stone will be removed
Everyone knows that crime does not pay
It doesn't pay the taxes anyway
You've got to be slick if you don't want it to stick
Now that we have that out of the way

I know it's not a wise thing to do
Writing funny songs about the mob
But if it's all the same to you
I don't see it as a gang but a club
Where men sit like gentlemen
Plotting their events about
Things I shouldn't understand comprehend or care
Like...oh, I don't know maybe I shouldn't go there
After all it is a family affair

Stay out of the papers
Don't get caught
Leave the singing to Sinatra and always keep your big trap shut
Capice?

The underworld is like an undertow - if you don't respect it
It will surely bring you down - when you least expect -
Hey expect it from all sides
Once you're in it it's for life
Don't be famous be infamous and you will live to see another day
Be wise about with whom you discuss
Now that we have that out of the way

Marie finished and The Mad Hatter clapped loudly while most of the others just stared at her. "That was..." Snape began.

"Awesome? Amazing? Kickass? Do you want me to sing it again?" She asked excitedly.

She recieved a unanimimous "NO!" from every one except Tarrant, who said yes.

Snape frowned at her. "If you ever sing that song again, I will murder you in your sleep." He growled. "It will be very painful and very drawn out...I *will* make you *suffer*."

"Then I'll come back as a zombie and team up with Gimli to hunt you down and make you do the Hula while having cream pies thrown at you." Marie said gleefully. "That would be more painful for you than death."

Snape turned to Gimli, who had paled. He smirked. "Think, my good Dwarf, *this*, " Snape pointed at Marie, who was happily back to strumming. "Is what you are going to have to put up with. I suggest you run. Far away."

"I love her." Gimli said loyally. "I can put up with a bit of craziness."

Tarrant eagerly jumped in. "If you can't, I most certainly can! She's magnificent!" He sighed dreamily.

Gimli snarled and launched himself at Hatter. "MINE!" He lept upon poor Tarrant, who attempted to fend him off with Willy's cane. "HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY IT!"

Meanwhile, Hellboy was whispering to Liz. "Marie was right." He sighed, then chuckled. "This *is* the weirdest Canon so far." Liz laughed right along with him as they stayed spectators to the scene.

Gandalf came into the room to find a rabid Gimli being hit over the head with a candy-filled cane and Marie and Snape argueing over her ability to sing. "QUIET!" He bellowed. They all looked at him. "The portal is ready. Edward, say your goodbyes."

They managed to tear Edward from Bella after a few minutes and came to the portal, which was swirling with a metalic silver and a red so deep, it could be mistaken for blood.

"It's one with a tune." Marie noted, throwing a longing look back at the electric guitar's direction.

Snape halted her, getting an inch from her face. "Don't even think about it." He hissed.

"The tune isn't catchy, though." Said Pippin as he leaned closer so that he could hear better. "It's kind of eerie and sad..WHOA!" He'd leaned over too far and fell in.

"Let's play follow the leader!" Said Marie as she jumped right in close behind him.

Snape glared at the spot where she'd been. Then glanced at Gimli. "Your girlfriend will be the death of us all."

Chapter End Notes:

*Hint

There once was a barber and his wife
and she was beautiful...