Hey peoples! It's been a little while, hasn't it? Well, I finally got a bit of time to post these. I was filling up time by writing this chapter and a chapter each on some of my other stories out on paper in Learning Lab (its a study hall of sorts) because I didn't have my laptop. Now I have sweet, sweet internet access! Yippeeee!

Snape; Oh on..she's back. Why couldn't she stay away?!

Marie; You just don't like anyone, do you?

Snape; Not particularly. I can barely stand conversing with you.

Gimli; You'd better watch what you say to her!

Snape; *Smirks* And what were you planning on doing to me? You left your axe back in Hellboy's canon.

*Hellboy enters with sandwich*; Did someone say my name?

Snape;Can we please end this? I'm sure the readers are getting tired of this disclaimer that has somehow turned into a free-for-all.

"I own nothing."

Snape; That's better. One chapter closer to being done with this mess.

Sweeney Todd brought up his razor in a huge arc and prepared to cut the throat of his latest unsuspecting victim. However, at just that moment, there came a loud crash from below. He paused, then hurriedly slit the poor man's throat and pulled the lever. He paid no attention to the blood that spattered his hands, clothes and face.

He ran downstairs to see what was the matter and was greeted by the sight of a large group of people lying on 's floor. Nellie Lovett was peering over Toby's shoulder at a small woman who lay beside a heavily bearded man. "Hmmm." Sweeney said with a vicious look in his eyes. "That one looks like he could do with a shave.."

Marie woke up to shouting. She opened her eyes wide when she saw Gimli confronting a dark-haired man with a wild look in his eyes. She shook her head groggily. "Let me guess. He either threatened me or your beard."

"Both!" He growled so loudly that even Edward took an instinctive step back. "If I had my axe..that would put your puny razors to shame!"

Marie got up and walked unsteadily over to Sweeney and poked him in his chest. "You have skunk-hair." She said bluntly.

Sweeney, who had raised his hand to cut her throat, lowered his razor. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You've got a crazy, whacked-out skunk stripe in your hair." She continued on bravely. "Did you know?"

Sweeney was completely befuddled. "You are either insane or extremely foolish."

She smiled. "Why can't I be both?" She asked sweetly.

"You're a very curious person, miss...?"

"Marie." She stuck out a hand. "If I'm not mistaken, you're a Canon Character, aren't you?" They shook hands, Marie looking slightly freaked by the blood on her hands. Edward's nostrils flared and he cleared his throat and looked away. Snape rolled his eyes and pulled out his handkerchief for her to wipe the blood streaks off. She thanked him profusely, but he just grumbled a bit and retrieved the piece of cloth when she was done.

"Yes." Sweeney said, his eyes met hers briefly before dipping down to the ground. "I am called Sweeney Todd, but-" He cut himself short and stared darkly out the windows of the pie shop.

"But, what?" Marie asked curiously.

"I used to be known as Benjamine Barker." He told her flatly.

She grinned. "Do you mind if I call you Benji?"

giggled and Toby snickered, but Todd quirked a smile and nodded. "My wife Lucy used to call me that when she teased me." His smile quickled was replaced by rage. "Until that bottom-feeder Judge Turpine, that weasel of the law, he's so slimey, eels look at him in disgust." He spat vehmenously. "No, nevermind. Don't call me by that name!"

"How about just Todd? Saying Sweeney reminds me of rotton lemons being squeezed." She grimaced in disgust. "Yelch!"

"You are very strange, and for some reason I don't want to kill you." Sweeney said. "I wonder why? I would have gladly slit any of your companion's throats along with yours only a second ago and yet, now that we've conversed, I feel that I couldn't raise my blade against any of you."

Austin laughed loudly and stepped forward. "Well, baby, that's pretty groovy news!"

Sweeney sent him a cold look. "Although...him I'm not so sure about."

Marie shook her head. "No one's quite so sure about him either." She grabbed ahold of Austin and pulled him away to the back of the group. "Come on, *man*, we need to have a talk about what exactly you should *not* say to a serial killer." She frowned. "Lesson one; never say groovey. He might just make a groove in your neck."

giggled. "That was very good, my dear."

"Thank you. Lesson two; Never look one in the eye." Marie informed the confused spy.

"Good advice." Commented Todd with a smirk. He fingered his blades lovingly and purposely shone the reflection of light into Austin's eyes.