Chapter Thirty: Literary Obstacles
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
"It's really warm in here," Harry commented as he stood up and brushed himself off.
"That would probably be because Neville's gone crazy," Ron replied, gesturing to a corner of the room where there was a large fire burning and no trace of that plant from earlier.
"I didn't go crazy," Neville claimed. "I am just wreaking vengeance on the monster that tried to kill me."
"Neville, it's a plant," Harry said, eyeing Neville strangely.
"I know," Neville assured him. "But it still tried to kill me."
"It's not a bad idea," Gilderoy spoke up. "This way we won't have to deal with it again on our way back."
"As long as we put the fire out afterwards," Hermione decided. "I don't think that stone can catch fire but this is a magical fire and I'd rather be safe than come back to a raging inferno."
"Me, too," Harry agreed.
Neville eyed the fire critically. "Well…I think that ought to do it. Even if it's not completely burned up, it should be dead now. Or at least too terrified to try to kill us on the way back."
"Unless it wants bloody vengeance, too," Ron pointed out.
Neville rolled his eyes as he killed the fire. "Please, Ron. It's a plant."
Ron spluttered but followed them down the only available corridor.
A thought occurred to Harry. "You guys should probably know that my father left a message from Professor Dumbledore so he'll hopefully get here soon."
Hermione looked like she could kiss him and clapped her hands together in joy. "Oh, that's wonderful! Once he gets here, everything will be alright." She cast a nervous glance at Gilderoy. "Not that things aren't alright now but we really don't know what's down there and…Professor Dumbledore…"
Gilderoy smiled at her. "I quite understand what you mean, Miss Granger. Not all of us can be the only one that You-Know-Who ever feared."
Hermione smiled back in relief that she hadn't offended him.
"So do you think we should just wait here or something?" Neville asked. "Since Dumbledore's coming anyway?"
"We can't do that!" Ron objected. "What's the point in us even being here then?"
"To make sure that whoever is here doesn't get the Stone and leave," Harry replied promptly.
"I think we should try to get through the obstacles that we think we can pass," Gilderoy told them. "Stop if there's one that we think might end in death. We don't want to just sit around, though, as then we risk being caught unawares should whoever is here succeed at getting the Stone and try to come back the way they came."
"And if we run into whoever that is while we're looking for the Stone?" Ron asked uncertainly.
"If we're very lucky and quiet, he won't see us and we won't have to face him," Gilderoy replied. "After all, I might be fine but I can't just think about myself. I have four first-years – including my own son – to consider and challenging whoever it is under the circumstances would be the height of foolishness. We would just need to watch him or her and see if they have the Stone so we can tell Dumbledore what he's up against."
Hermione nodded her head. "That's a good idea."
"Is that…birds?" Neville asked, puzzled, as they approached a large room with winged creatures flying every which way.
"I can't tell," Gilderoy admitted. "Okay, the door is on the other side of the room and there's a good chance that the birds will attack us so everyone cover your face and make a run for it."
Hermione looked sick.
"What is it?" Harry asked.
"I've seen 'The Birds'," Hermione admitted, biting her lip. "The short story was far scarier, of course, and the 60s special effects aren't the best – and then there's the 60s plot – but still…"
Harry gently squeezed her hand. "Just run as fast as you can."
"What if I run into the wall on the other side?" Hermione persisted.
"Hold your hand out like this," Ron suggested, demonstrating. He had one arm covering his face and the other arm outstretched to hit the wall before he could.
Hermione nodded bravely. "Okay, I can do this."
"Ready…go," Gilderoy told them and they all took off.
Not that they dared to look but none of them were attacked on their way over.
"I don't understand," Neville said, frowning. "What's the point in putting birds in here if they're just going to leave us alone?"
Gilderoy pulled on the handle of the door. "I don't think they're birds. There are brooms over there and we can't get this door opened."
"Did you try 'Alohomora'?" Hermione inquired.
Gilderoy, not actually able to cast that spell, shook his head. "It won't work. If it were that easy then no one would use the keys."
"Unless everyone assumed that it was just too easy and never tried it," Hermione suggested. She waved her wand at the door but it was still locked. She shrugged. "Oh well. It was a bit of a long-shot and if we hadn't tried it but it would have worked then we all would have looked really silly."
"Do you think we should take the brooms up and try to catch it?" Neville asked.
Harry shook his head. "Not just yet. Let's find what we're looking for fi-found it."
"Where?" Ron asked, trying to follow Harry's gaze.
"Right there, it's moving slower than the other ones. I guess maybe its wing got busted when whoever used it to get past this room," Harry said, pointing. After a few minutes, everyone had noticed the key.
"The brooms it is," Hermione said, not sounding pleased by this prospect.
"Not necessarily," Gilderoy – who also didn't like to fly – said slowly. "We can always try that later but in the meantime let's do it this way. Even if we fail, it will just mean less keys to weave through. Does anyone know a good stunning spell?"
Well, they all knew something. Even Gilderoy, as it happened, although his really only worked about half the time and he'd never been able to figure out why.
They all took out their wands and started firing stunners at the various keys. Unfortunately, while hitting a key and sending it plummeting to the earth wasn't hard, the nearby keys always sacrificed themselves for the key they were actually after. Dozens of keys had rained down on them – a few actually hitting them – by the time that Harry managed to fell the right one with a lucky stunner.
Harry stared down at the key at his feet.
"You do the honors," Neville encouraged him.
Harry picked up the key and (far more gently than whoever had come before them had done), used the key to unlock the door.
"Let's keep it with us in case the door is locked from both sides," Gilderoy suggested and so Harry obligingly held onto the key. It would have been more convenient if he could have pocketed it but there was no way that those wings would have fit.
As they continued walking, Gilderoy turned to Hermione. "I read 'The Birds', too, though I've never had occasion to see the movie. Right after I read it, I went outside and there were birds everywhere. I don't know why I hadn't noticed before, maybe just because they were birds and thus everywhere. But I've never trusted them since."
"Birds might be the death of all of us," Hermione said solemnly.
Ron laughed. "The way you guys are talking, we should have mobilized them and sent them after Death Eaters."
Neville rubbed his chin. "That's not actually a bad idea. Or at least keys like that. The Death Eaters would have been so busy defending themselves from the keys that they'd be easy targets. In fact, I'll look into that in the future."
"You think the Death Eaters will be back?" Ron asked horrified.
"With You-Know-Who not dead, of course they will," Neville said matter-of-factly.
Ron jerked. "YOU-KNOW-WHO'S NOT DEAD?"
"There wasn't a body," Harry pointed out. "If people can say that Elvis isn't dead when he had a body then I think a good case can be made for You-Know-Who not being dead when there are no witnesses to this supposed death. For all we know, he was just so embarrassed at not being able to kill a baby and maybe over the whole 'evil overlord' thing and so he just left."
"I will be having nightmares forever and it's all you guy's fault," Ron announced to the world at large.
"What did we say?" Neville asked, feigning confusion.
"Oh, who even knows?" Harry asked, playing along.
"Is that…a chessboard?" Hermione asked as they came into the next room. "A life-sized chess board and it seems to be blocking our way into the next room."
Harry winced. "Oh, I've read this one."
"Read what?" Neville asked.
" 'All the King's Horses'," Harry replied. "It's a short story by Kurt Vonnegut."
"Involving life-sized chess pieces?" Ron asked.
"Involving people forced to take the place of chess pieces and play a game," Harry explained. "And when their piece was taken, they were killed." The part that he didn't like to think about was that in the end Kelly had sacrificed his son for the victory. That debt had not been collected, fortunately.
Ron went white. "They wouldn't really kill us, would they?"
"Why not?" Gilderoy asked. "We shouldn't be here in the first place. Still, Dumbledore did set this up so there's decent odds that it will just knock us unconscious."
"How are you at chess?" Ron asked Gilderoy. "I'm better than Neville, Hermione, and Harry."
"He's some kind of prodigy," Harry confirmed.
Gilderoy shrugged. "I can play it but if you're really that good then I suggest we leave this to you."
Ron winced. "I'm good, don't get me wrong, but I'm not exactly…I don't play conservatively. I don't know how I'd do with all of your lives in the balance."
"Then don't play with all of us," Gilderoy suggested.
Ron frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I wouldn't step onto that chess board for all the world and I wouldn't let Harry, either," Gilderoy told them. "If you take the place of the king you'll be as safe as you can be and as long as you win you'll be fine."
"Don't we all have to take the place of one of the black pieces, though?" Hermione asked, confused.
Gilderoy shrugged. "Perhaps. The Stone-stealer was likely anticipated to be merely one man, though, and even if we do all have to take a square, wouldn't it be silly if we didn't try it this way first?"
Hermione smiled at the echo of her own words.
Ron nodded. "Right, here goes. I hope this works because I really don't need this kind of pressure."
He walked up to the king and the king obligingly moved out of his way.
Fortunately, the moment that Ron stepped onto the square, a white pawn moved ahead two squares.
"Thank goodness!" Hermione exclaimed.
They lapsed into silence for awhile, watching the game.
The first time a piece was taken, the other piece violently smashed into it and dragged it off the board.
Neville winced. "Harsh."
Ron laughed darkly. "You're telling me."
"Relax," Harry advised. "You'll be fine. Just don't lose."
"Not that there's any pressure or anything," Ron said dryly.
"That's the spirit!" Harry said encouragingly.
They were quiet again as time passed and the game went on.
Neville yawned. "Not that watching Ron place chess isn't fascinating but it is kind of late."
"Hey, you're the ones who came and got me close to bedtime," Harry pointed out.
"And whoever this is is the one who decided to steal the Stone practically in the middle of the night," Neville retorted.
"Guys!" Ron yelled at them. "Are you even paying attention?"
Guiltily, they focused back on the chess match.
"Thank you," Ron said, mollified. "I'm about to win. Watch this. Check."
The queen moved in front of the king.
Ron directed another one of his pieces. "Check and mate."
"You really have a talent for that," Gilderoy said, impressed. "You might want to look into entering tournaments over the summer or when you get out of school."
"They have chess tournaments?" Ron asked, his eyes wide.
Gilderoy nodded. "Of course. If it can be competitive, there is some form of tournament for it. The muggles host the tournaments, though, so the pieces don't talk and you have to manually move them. Other than that, it's the same as wizarding chess."
"Is there prize money?" Ron asked hopefully.
"Would anyone enter if there wasn't?" Gilderoy asked rhetorically.
Ron left the chessboard and the five of them started to head past the board. Harry was a little apprehensive about whether or not the white pieces would let those that hadn't played past the board and what Ron would do to them if he was forced to go on alone. Fortunately, that was not the case and they were all permitted to pass unmolested.
"So how many more of these trials are there?" Ron wondered.
Neville shrugged. "Who knows?"
Ron stopped. "You really should."
"I guess we could start to guess who is most likely to have enchanted which trap and then guess who else Dumbledore might trust but at this point that would probably just be wasting time," Hermione reasoned.
"You could have figured it out sooner," Ron pointed out.
"We could have," Neville agreed. "But then there was that thing with the dragon and-"
"Dragon?" Harry asked curiously.
"We're really not supposed to talk about that," Neville said. "Sorry." He didn't sound sorry.
Harry groaned as they neared the next room. "That smells like a troll."
"So? You've dealt with a troll before," Ron pointed out.
"Pansy did most of it when she beat it to death with its own club," Harry retorted. "And even if she hadn't, I wouldn't want to face that again."
"Fortunately, you won't have to," Gilderoy said, gesturing towards the troll lying flat on its back and unconscious.
Ron promptly levitated the troll's club and started beating its head with it.
"What the hell are you doing?" Neville demanded.
"I'm not taking any risks on it waking up," Ron said stubbornly.
"I think you just killed it," Harry informed him.
Ron lit up. "Did I? Cool. Do you think I'll get to be in the paper like Pansy?"
"Ron," Hermione said, looking horrified. "You just killed something!"
Ron shrugged, nonplussed. "Yeah, but it's a troll so it doesn't count."
Hermione sighed heavily. "I worry about the state of our future."
"It's a common worry," Gilderoy assured her.
The minute they entered the next room, a purple fire sprang up behind them and a black fire in front of them. Well, to be more precise, the minute that most of them were in the room. Ron, held up examining his trophy, was caught on the other side of the fire.
"Really?" Ron complained. They could barely here him. "I hate you all."
"It wasn't our fault," Neville pointed out. "You just took too long."
"Look," Harry exclaimed. There was a note on a table with seven bottles. "It's a poem. It says that two bottles have wine, three have poison, one gets you forward, and one gets you back."
"So I guess we're stuck here unless we figure it out," Gilderoy concluded.
"Okay, this one I've read before," Neville announced. "It's a basic whodunit. Except instead of, well, who committed the crime you have to solve for the bottle. I was always terrible at these. I never let myself figure it out and always went straight for the solution."
"Miss Granger, would you care to have a go?" Gilderoy asked politely.
Hermione looked almost petrified. "But…I…What if I get one of you killed?"
"Not to worry," Gilderoy assured her. "Harry and I each always carry a bezoar on us at all times so you can guess wrong about the poison twice."
"I'd rather not have it come to that," Hermione said grimly.
"Then get it right," Gilderoy suggested.
Hermione nodded and leaned forward to read the paper. After that, she began walking around, murmuring to herself and tapping bottles.
Finally, after about ten minutes, she nodded decisively. "This one gets us forward and this one gets us back. I might have known this one would be the forward one since it's half-empty."
"Hermione, you and Neville go back," Gilderoy instructed, not leaving any room for argument.
Neville nodded. "But what about you and Harry?"
"We'll talk about it," Gilderoy said shortly. "Don't drink all of the potion, just in case."
"Go back and try to meet Dumbledore, see if he's back yet," Harry told them. He handed Hermione the key. "He probably doesn't have the stone yet or he wouldn't be in here."
"I can see a figure through the fire," Gilderoy elaborated. He frowned. "Is that…?"
"Is that what?" Hermione asked immediately.
Gilderoy shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Just go."
Hermione and Neville, both looking incredibly worried, wished them luck and then took their potion and stepped through the fire.
Gilderoy waited until the trio was out of sight on their way back towards help when he turned back to Harry.
Harry had never seen him looking so serious in his entire life.
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