The Real Don Quixote Ch. 2: in the absense of trapdoors
Out in the newsroom, the gloom and slightly supernatural effect it had on the outline of all the empty desks and computer screens persisted. Somewhere there was a faint hum of a vacuum cleaner, but all other signs of life had gone. Except, that was, for the two lights remaining at the edges of the room; the first was emanating from her office, and the second from Will's. She stopped, frowning. He was still here. Did she want to see him?
To give herself time to decide she headed to her own office to quickly scan her emails – there was nothing important – before shutting her computer down, putting her files in her briefcase, and slipping the strap over her shoulder, picking up her jacket. With one last look around her office, she flicked off the light and found her eyes once more wandering to the now sole light in the darkened room.
She sighed, berating her need to do this: she couldn't just leave when the last real conversation they had had was a pretty nasty fight; this was Will. There was enough anger between them already, so if she could end work with clearing this small bit of it off their slate, she ought to try and do so.
Stopping at the door, she found him standing at his window gazing down into the rain-washed streets below. He didn't seem to have heard her so she tapped softly on the wooden door, feeling a little more apprehensive now that she was here.
Will turned around immediately, looking surprised to find someone still there. It quickly vanished however, when he saw who it was – it was not actually all that surprising that Mac would be here. They were both workaholics. She seemed to be a little on edge, and he relaxed a little, offering a small, slight apologetic smile as a welcome. This seemed to reassure her and she slowly moved into the room.
He did feel guilty about earlier. Yes, he had been stupid, and petulant and childish by changing his contract, but he had done it all out of a need to protect himself – or so he had thought at the time. Looking back now, Mac was just about the best thing that had happened to him in the last three years, so of in hindsight it was completely idiotic.
Realising how absorbed he had been in his musings, he looked back up to find Mac gazing at him curiously, leaning against his desk as she waited for him to come back to her.
The both opened their mouths to apologise at the same moment, realised this, and then laughed awkwardly as they quickly shut up again.
"I –"
"Mac, I'm sorry about earlier." Will cut across her firmly. She tilted her head thoughtfully, considering what he had said, before shaking it slightly and readjusting herself on her perch before she replied.
"I'm sorry too. I was out of order. I shouldn't have said…what I said." She finished lamely, her eyes narrowed at a spot somewhere just above the door handle. She looked as though she was trying to figure out how she had got from the start of the sentence to that. Will laughed, and she shook her head again, shooting a rueful grin back at him. "We're really terrible."
Will nodded, his eyebrows raised in understanding, grateful to hear her say that she hadn't meant it...even if she had. It was better than being hostile. There was a quiet moment.
"I still shouldn't have changed the stupid contract – it was immature and – "
"I get why you did it." She cut across him, no longer smiling, but looking at him sadly. There was no anger or annoyance in her voice, just regret.
"Yeah." He didn't really know how to answer her. Why did he not know how to answer her? Was he now feeling guilty for bringing up the affair when he was the wounded party here?
It was just that she was so damn…apologetic about it all. She wore her remorse and her regret boldly on her sleeve from the moment she had stepped back into his life – when all he had wanted to do was rant and rage at her; make her feel like shit for what she had done. But he had not needed to. She had done that all her on her own.
God, she drove him crazy.
"Look," He decided to just let it go for now. When they didn't bring up – the thing-which-should-not-be-mentioned – they got on fine. Great, actually! They made a good team and they both new it. He smiled. "Why don't you let me buy you a drink – the others all headed to the bar…it's nearly five in the afternoon, so why the hell not – I'll buy you a drink and we can just forget about it. What do you think?"
Her face brightened for a minute – inside she was dancing that he had decided to move on from it – and she smiled back at him. And then she remembered something.
Shit. Five o'clock. SHIT! She wanted to bang her head on the desk! Here was Will asking to just spend some time with her – to make it up and be friends again – trying to take a step forward, and now she knew she about to take one step back. Shit.
"I'm –really sorry Will, I'd would love to, but –" She closed her eyes, cursing inwardly. Why oh why?
Will cottoned on very quickly.
"You have other plans?" His voice was distant and much quieter. Letting out a frustrated sigh she opened her eyes again to meet his; she could see pain there. She was such an idiot. "Letting herself out of jail"? What kind of crazy-ass shit was that? What a stupid idea.
"I said I'd meet Wade." She said it quietly, half hoping that he wouldn't hear it; but she was staring at him so she saw the stiffening of his shoulders, the flinch in his eyes and his fingers clenching around his elbows. Yep, back to square one. Their whole relationship was like a terrible game of snakes and ladders.
She tried to look apologetic, even smile, but that was clearly a step too far for her emotions which were completely messed up right now. Would they ever get past these stupid screw ups, she wondered.
After staring at the floor for a moment as though hoping a trap door would appear and he would fall through it, a pained smile crossed Will's face and he jerkily moved forward to pick up his blazer and sling it on.
"Maybe another time then. You're heading down, right?" Crap. He was taking The Nice approach.
"Yeah." Mac said glumly.
"Then I'll come with you." After she nodded her agreement, he awkwardly placed a hand on her shoulder, encouraging her off the desk. Sighing and fiddling with the button holes of her jacket, she walked slowly out so that he could catch up with her.
It was going to be an uncomfortable elevator ride.
As they passed through the darkness together, a shadowy figure watched their cold retreat with disappointment and in his eyes. He was sorry for them – knowing that with time that they could get there, but worried about everything that might happen in between.
Shaking his head, Charlie stuck his hands in his pockets and headed up to his own office. What had he told Mac? "By Monday this will seem like a lifetime ago"?
He really hoped so.