Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious. If I did do you think I would cancel it? Hell no!
Hehe, sorry bout that, but yeah here's the next chapter, enjoy!
"Wake up West we're here."
"Your voice is annoying." She grumbled.
"I know where you keep the spare key." He hummed unclicking his seatbelt in warning.
"Touch the gnome and I'll kill you." She warned.
"Come on, we got vodka." He nudged her.
"Fine." She sighed
The porch light was off, confirming what she said earlier, about no one being home. The large estate was too lonely for one person she decided, especially on a night like this.
Opening the front door they made their way in quickly. Her bored neighbors where nosey enough as it was.
"Sit. I'll grab a few things." She mumbled gesturing towards the large couch sitting in the middle of her living room.
Doing as told he kicked off his shoes, shrugged off his jacket, and sat on the rug with his back against the couch. Pulling the coffee table a bit closer he placing both bottles from before on it.
"I don't have any cinnamon apple Poptarts left, so you have to make do with strawberry." Her voice traveled down the hall as she entered with said box, a large bag of Cheetos, half a box of Twinkies, a couple of shot glasses, two water bottles, the scissoring part two, and a large blanket, dumping it all unceremoniously onto the coffee table.
"Scoot over." She mumbled spreading the blanket over her legs and pouring them both shots in the process.
"Bottoms up." He tilted his glass towards her until they met with a satisfied clank.
"Bottoms up." She mumbled, allowing the liquor to burn it's way down her throat.
"Tell me about yourself." He asked, ripping open the Cheetos' bag.
"Me and Beck broke up." She sighed, rubbing her eyes in frustration. So much for easing him into her problems, but desperate times call for yea blah blah blah. She hated over used sayings, even if they were just in her mind.
"Yeah I kinda got that." He raised another drink to his mouth.
"What, stalking me now?" She asked, curious as to how he'd know that. She hadn't seen him in months.
"Hardly, it was all over the slap." He laughed, offering her half of a Poptart.
"Stupid, nosey, social media." She grumbled.
"You know he even had the audacity to say we could still be friends, like really?" She snapped forgetting her glass and simply chugging from the bottle.
"It's reasonable." He shrugged, resigning himself to a pretty long and only half tedious night.
"Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom say you can still keep it." She said hotly.
"Right so I haven't missed much everything is still pretty much all about Beck?" He nodded to himself.
"No it's about me, damn keep up." She pulled the bag of Cheetos from him.
"Well hate to break it to you sweetheart but it's been six months. If the dude still wanted you, I think he would've said something by now." He tried not to mock her by stating the obvious, but he felt like Jade might be in the need of a little tough love. As much as he liked seeing her wrapped in a blue blanket, eating junk food on the floor with him, while they discussed her reason for being out in short shorts, he didn't like the look of hurt under the strong facade.
"That kinda goes both ways Ryder. If I wanted him back I could just as easily waltz back in there demand him back and all that." She grumbled through a mouthful of Cheetos'
"You didn't break up with him. You don't get to decide if you want him back this time. It's about time he made up his own mind." He gave her a sorry look before taking the bottle from her.
"I gave him an ultimatum, it was half my fault." She tried to convince herself one more time, resting her head against him shoulder.
"Do you want him back?" He asked.
"No I don't want him back!" She sounded angry but she wasn't. He knew better than to assume every emotion with her strived from rage.
"Translation you don't want to want him, but you do. It's been Beck and Jade for three years, if you ask me this just proves that you're human." He shrugged the shoulder she rested on playfully, eyeing the bottle in his palm curiously as she spoke.
"I want to hate him, and I might hate him, maybe a little." She tried to convince herself, but even to her it sounded like a lie.
"Don't be a child Jade. Hate only gets you so far, once that fades you're left with a mess of scattered emotions with no clue on how to sort them. Hating is easy, it's the best cover up there is, but it's not permanent." He lectured her.
"You think I don't know that? God Ryder I don't think there's anyone who understands that better than I do. But you don't understand! I'm just so angry, beyond that I'm just so sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. Like what the hell am I even doing?" She pulled at the blanket, tangling her feet together in frustration.
"First off you're not angry you're hurt." He assured her.
"Damn straight, but I have a right to be. I mean do you even remember me Ryder?" She looked at him with so much insecurity in her eyes; it honestly caught him off guard for a second.
"What do you mean?" He struggled not to stutter.
"Do you remember me?" She asked sitting on her knees to face him. "Back before Beck and Jade happened. Back when it was just Jade and I had no one else to fall back on. When I was able to hold my own, regardless of what was chucked at me. Do you remember the girl that even if the world tilted on it's axis would be fine as long as she was on a stage doing her craft. Do you remember her, because I liked her." She sighed.
"I remember, of course I remember, that used to be my best friend." He nudged her affectionately.
"Yea, she used to be my friend too." She whispered sadly.
"You know I stay up sometimes, replaying every outburst I've ever had with him. Being on the outside looking in I can't help but think, what a gank! Dude do you not see yourself? You seriously like out of all honesty do not have to put up with this.
There's girls out there, far pretty, maybe not as talented, but nicer willing to waid on you hand and foot. You don't need someone with more baggage than either of you know how to carry. Come on now, are you some type of sadist, or something?" She said sadly.
"Wouldn't put it past him." He chuckled.
"It's not like I don't know what I am. I get that I'm mean, blunt, physically harmful on occasion, bullyish. I might not have the best moral code, I'm easily enraged, insecure, jealous. I get that I'm not perfect. I don't strive to be, but I'm not a bad person either. No matter how much I wish I was, because maybe that way it wouldn't hurt as much. I wouldn't care so much." She whispered looking at her hands tucked in her lap.
"Well you're right about one thing, you're not a bad person Jade. I actually think this might be good for you if you gave it a chance.
Like it or not you're actually pretty good at being on your own. You thrive off your obsessive need for people to see you. Jade West even your name has a ring to it. Maybe it's about damn time you stop creating yourself and start looking for yourself. You might even be pleasantly surprised at what you find." He handed her back the bottle they been sharing.
"I know who I am. I don't have time to go on a soul searching expedition." She took another swig.
"No you know what you want to be. Whether that be Beck's girlfriend, the lead in the next musical, or a famous actress, you know what you want, but not where you're at with yourself Jade, and that's just as important.
"I really don't feel like doing anything emotionally stressful for a while." She pouted, slightly amused at his suggestion, before leaning her head against him again.
"All thing considered I have a feeling you'll make it out of this one just fine." He smiled down at her, cupping her chin lightly so that she looked into his eyes.
"It's funny." She smiled. "How everything can change from one day to another, yet some things never do."
"Like?" He asked, a smile playing on his lips.
"Like the fact that you're the first person I've opened up to about all of this." She shrugged
"Well I'm flattered." He smiled
"Don't get overly happy, it's just how things are." She dismissed it.
"You telling me things?" He asked.
"No, firsts." She sighed. "For some ungodly reason you were pretty much my first everything." She frowned looking down at her cup, mulling that though process over.
"First friend, first person I ever told a secret to, first kiss, first snuggle, first second and third base, I mean fuck it you were my first freakin sleepover." She laughed abruptly the liquor they consumed making itself well known at this point.
"I somehow always thought you'd be my first too, even when it was happening it flashed in my mind, but no."
"I had the decency not to take your virginity." He saw fit to point out.
"I sometimes wish you did." She whispered, watching her cup the whole time.
A feeling of panic seeped in. "Dude, don't tell me-
"Shut up, no I don't love you. It just seemed fitting ya know. You could of kept it along with everything else I've given to you." She made sure to clear that up, he was Ryder. Just Ryder. They weren't like that.
"Well in that case, I think you did good. As intimate as some of our tales may be your first time wasn't mine to take. You loved him and that's good, sex is always better when there's feelings involved. Trust me." He took another swig.
"You would know, huh... Slut." She coughed.
"No, just available." He laughed
"Now that I think about it I wasn't your first boyfriend either."
"I've only ever had one, plus you were never my boyfriend, but that I understand. Dating involves feeling, which neither of us are really good at. Plus you're my friend, and I don't care what anyone says, dating one way or another jeopardizes that."
"I warned you, stepping into HA." He sighed.
"I remember." She nodded.
"You gave me an option stepping in. You told me and I quote, 'You want to be the girl with the broken heart or the girl with the broken reputation.' Guess I got both, huh, such an overachiever." She spat.
"Don't cry it's been six months Jade, enough with the pity party." He handled her the seemingly empty bottle.
"I know but it's just aggravating." She gestured towards herself, not bothering to wipe her face.
"I could've avoided this." She threw the empty bottle down the hall, thank god for carpeting, or they would've had some cleaning to do.
"You could have also missed out on all you got out of it." He handed her a half opened Twinkie.
"What's with you? I'm your best friend if some girl broke your heart you best believe I'd be the first one raining hell down on her ass. Shit talking her at the very least." She accused him.
"I'm far more concerned with what's going on with you, to be hate on your ex like that. Doesn't mean I'm in any way fond of him. It's all about subtly babe." He smirked at her.
"Whatever." She wiped her eyes, she would never get over how natural it was to just let go around him. It was downright scary.
"What do you say we forget about dicks and past humor, finish this bottle, and quote the scissoring part two both pretending we haven't seen it a thousand times."
"It's like you don't know me at all." She smiled happily.
Jade was usually a plain salad type of girl, dressing making her nauseous, but that simply wasn't cutting it today. So she opted for a salad, fries, and an extra-large pickle, just because.
Yeah that definitely made up for her disaster encounter from earlier.
She still wasn't sure what to make of it. Eight months, that's how long they've been broken up. Two months since he tried to kiss Tori, surely she wasn't the only one confused here. Why was he suddenly interested in making small talk with her, or better yet what did he want to talk to her about. Should she have heard him out? He said "us", but "us" who? What were they exactly? They weren't friends, that much was clear, they definitely weren't together, but they weren't exactly on bad terms either.
Either way, it was best to just leave things as they were. She was already on edge enough as it was, she didn't need Beck stealing the last bit of sanity she was hanging on to.
Plopping down next to Cat, she snatched the ketchup from Andre, smirking at his pout, poured some and then handed it back. Fries she decided where awesome, even if they were too salty.
Her mood was officially salvaged, even Beck's completely impassive face as he walked up to their table holding a slice of pizza didn't deter her. Well not a lot.
Her phone buzzed and she was didn't even have a chance to respond before she heard him.
"Let's go." She heard him, but not through her phone.
"Ryder?" Tori gasped, managing to spill half her fries in the process.
He tried to suppress a smirk at that; he loved the element of surprise.
Looks of uncertainty, confusion and anger circulated the table at his sudden reappearance. Rumor had it he moved away for an acting gig.
Any other day, well maybe later today, he would relish in the feeling of catching them completely off guard, but for now he paid them no mind, opting instead to take a hold of Jade's arm. He repeated what he said before "Let's go."
He didn't miss the way Beck's eyes narrowed in confusion, but nothing more. How did someone so emotionless get so good at acting? Ex-girlfriend or not, any other guy would at least have the decency to look a little put off.
The silence was suffocating as everyone else stared up at him like he waltz up in here wearing a freaking Barney suit or something, which he would've totally owned by the way.
He wasn't aware that grudge holding was something that ran in the group, interesting.
"Jade." He shook her lightly, when she'd yet to respond. Nobody moved, probably waiting on an oncoming outburst that would more than likely result in bodily harm. On his part.
"What are you doing here?" She hissed, catching everyone else off guard.
"I was supposed to pick you up at the airport in an hour. Not have you waltz back in here like you own the place!" She finally snapped turned to glare at him, but not bothering to shake off his hold.
"My flight got in earlier than expected." He answered her in a similar tone of voice, like it or not he could hold his own when it came to her.
"Really, because I'm pretty sure it takes more than a couple hours to book a flight and get on it." She narrowed her eyes in an accusing glare.
"You texted me last night." He pointed out.
"You responded to me his morning!" She shouted back.
"I was thinking." He sighed.
"OH!" She growled.
"Can we just flippin go already? I don't have all day."
"Then you shouldn't have came." She turned back to her food.
"Jade!"
"Fine!" She snapped and with another annoyed growl she stood collecting her thing, shoving them in her bag and scooting the rest of her lunch towards cat, which was pretty much all of it.
"You owe me lunch now." She said, extra careful to avoid every confused gaze being directed at her.
This wasn't how she wanted things to come out. Not here, and especially not with the company of people she was currently with.
"Umm Jade?" It was Cat who finally decided to break the silence.
"What?" She snapped.
"Well..." She started getting that confused childlike look on her face. "Ryder's here."
"I'm aware."
"But Jadey he's mean!" She exclaimed.
"Good cus so am I." She smirked a smirk that was so Jade like there weren't words to describe it.
"Since when are you and Ryder friends?" Tori asked crossing her arms around her slim frame.
"They've always been friends." Cat pouted.
"What?"
"Look I'd love to sit around and reminisce the last fifteen years of my life, but wait, I actually wouldn't! Bye." She stomped her way out to the parking lot., leaving a confused table behind.
"Well it's been fun. See ya, bye cat." He gave them a somewhat degrading salute before following the bitter girl out.
"You're driving." She tossed him her keys.
"Why? I've been on a plane for six hours!" He gave her a reproachful look.
"I hate driving in the daytime!" She stomped her foot.
"No you hate driving period." He corrected her
"That couldn't be more true."
...
"Ok what was that about?" Tori exclaimed looking around the table for answers.
"Yea, since when are Jade and Ryder all buddy buddy?" Andre wondered.
"I think it cute." Robbie was quick to point out.
He was met with accusing glares.
"What? They're both pretty people with shady personalities. It's cliché but hey this is Hollywood. They're like a real life vampire couple." He shrugged going back to his fruit.
"They are not!" Cat yelled. "Jade would never eat us!"
"You people are missing the point." Tori whined. "If Jade and Ryder are hanging out this can only mean trouble."
"I thought you and Ryder made peace?" Andre ask.
"We did but it just, ugh never mind. It just seems weird that they're suddenly friends or whatever they are."
Cat's giggle was what brought them back.
"What's so funny?"
"Sillies of course they're friends. He was her first ya know. That kinda makes them like bffs for life."
"What?!" Was chorused around the table.
"First 'what' Cat?" This time it was Beck who perked up out of his trance.
"You know first." She smiled twirling a piece of her red hair aloofly.
"I think I'm gonna be sick." Beck sat back with a look of panic. 'Maybe cat didn't know what she was talking about. Yeah that was it.' He assured himself.
"Ok wait wait wait." Tori shook her head to sort her thoughts..
"So Jade's known Ryder, apparently for a while now?" She clarified.
"Yes."
"Then why didn't she warn me about him last year?" She exclaimed.
"She did, twice, but you wouldn't listen. Plus jade said she's not anyone's Cupid and that she's not one to intervene in peoples love lives." She used quotation marks around the word love.
"I've never seen them hanging around school before." Robbie was quick to point out. How did they all miss this?
"Well I didn't really like his friends much, they were a little intimating when we were freshman, so Jadey was nice and sat with me our first day of Hollywood Arts instead of with him. It just kinda stuck that way after a while with me, Robbie, Andre, and then Becky." She giggled.
"And me!" Tori waved.
"It's just weird that they've never even had a class together though." Andre went back to eating, clearly over the matter. If Jade and Ryder were old pals then good for them.
"What's even weirder is that they suddenly got the urge to flaunt their relationship." Beck snapped.
"But they're not dating." Cat pointed out.
"He meant their friendship." Tori clarified.
"Well Jade needs friends too." Cat said seriously.
"We're her friends Cat. She doesn't need to be hanging around with him." Tori stressed.
"He's been her friend longer. Just because he was mean to you Tori doesn't mean we all automatically hate him. You're not the queen tor-ie" She giggled at the last part.
They all stared at the young girl. It was no secret that her and Tori's relationship had gotten a little rocky lately, but nobody ever expected for little innocent Cat to deliver a blow like that.
"I remember on my thirteenth birthday when my parents weren't home because they had to take my brother to his 'special hospital'. Jade and Ryder came over with a red velvet cupcake and sang me a really funny birthday song they came up with." She giggles thinking back on the past.
"Really? Sing it!" Robbie clapped.
"I can't." She smiled
"Why not, Lil Red?" Andre coaxed.
"Because it's mine." She hopped in her seat reaching for the fries Jade left behind.
"They were nicer then." She smiled dreamily.
"I'm sure they were Cat." Robbie nodded in agreement.
"Jadey helped me dye my hair red a week later, after I did it wrong the first time." She told them. "My brother does not know how to dye hair." She told them seriously.
"Why do I get the feeling I know a lot less than what I originally thought I did." Tori mumbled looking down at her food.
"You get that feeling too?" Cat asked happily before reaching into her bra for a candy snack, offering it up to her.
...
This wasn't the first time she found herself sitting on her bathroom floor in Ryder's company. It wasn't necessarily second nature, but it shouldn't be feeling like a death sentence either.
"I can't do this." She whimpered, hugging her knees tightly, yes whimpered. It was pathetic.
"I really hope you're not serious right now, because this is in no way the hardest part." He snapped, watching her flinch at his tone of voice. He immediate regretted it swinging an arm around her, drawing her in close.
"Sorry, nerves." He pressed a kiss to her temple, in an effort to calm them both. It didn't work.
"This isn't happening; we were careful." She pleaded, with who she wasn't sure. She just knew she couldn't do this. She wasn't ready, she wasn't sure she'd ever be.
"You know how they say only one in a million actually make it in show biz." He asked.
"Yeah." She looked at him hopefully.
"Well it looks like our odds were a bit better this time around." He sighed; the look on his face said it all.
"Please don't tell me." She gripped his jacket to keep herself up.
"It's positive."
Okay, so in case any of you are confused, the first part of both chapter so far have been flashbacks to the night of the PMA's. After Jade left the scene, so yeah. Thanks for reading.
Review if you want a speedy update. Next chap gets interesting.