"We should never have gotten directions from that Scarecrow." Gimli grumbled under his breath. They'd been lost and walking around Oz for hours.

"My poor feet!" Groaned Pippin.

Merry glared. "You shouldn't complain, you aren't the one with the black eye."

Marie held back a giggle. "Who knew Dorothy would put up such a fight?"

"The little wench. She made us waste valuable time." Snape snapped. For some reason, he kept glancing up at the sky. Presumably he was paranoid about being abducted by monkeys with wings again.

"Aragorn!" Legolas called. "The Emerald City is that way!" He pointed in the opposite direction that they were going.

They paid him no heed and trudged on. "Legolas, how do you know that?" Aragorn asked sceptically. "It's not as if there is a sign that would just show us-" Legolas grabbed his wrist and pulled him over to where he'd been standing. There he pushed back some brush and revealed a sign that read;

EMERALD CITY
2 MILES IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION

Six Flags
JUST WALK UNTIL YOU SEE IT

HOT DOG STAND
LOOK TO THE LEFT

They all looked to the left and saw, as promised, the hot dog stand. The man who was running it gave a little wave. They all waved back politely. "Well, I guess we're going in the opposite direction, then."

Snape smirked at Legolas. "Captain Obvious strikes again." Legolas waited until Snape had his back turned, then poked an arrow into Snape's behind.

"SHIT!" Snape yanked it out of Legolas' hand, glared at it, broke it into two pieces and threw it at the laughing Elf's head.

"Captain Obvious strikes again." Legolas echoed as he dodged the pieces.

The old gentleman stood before them and held out his hand for the ruby slippers. Gandalf handed the hard-won shoes over and The *Great* Oz smiled. "Thank you very much. I was wondering when I would get those back. They've been passed around so many times, I wondered if they'd become communal footwear!" He tucked them away in a box that he held under one arm. "I never should have lent them to the Wicked Witch of the East, she's always getting houses dropped on her head."

"I thought you lent them to Dorothy."

"Well, there's an interesting story to that. You see, one day I was having tea with The Wicked Witch of the East-"

"You were having tea with a an evil witch?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Well, why can't one be sociable with one's neighbors? Anyway, she asked me to lend them to her, then got herself killed *again*, and then Glenda took it upon herself to just give them to Dorothy out of the blue and I hadn't seen them since!" The Wizard explained, then smiled kindly at them all. "Now, you have completed my requirement and you shall have your reward!" He gestured at a side door, which opened to reveal thousands upon thousands of Munchkins dressed in armor. "Your army." He announced.

They all gaped as the entire force began to sing in high-pitched voices.

*We represent
the Slaughtering Guild
the Slaughtering Guild

And in the name of
the Slaughtering Guild
We wish to fight for you!*

"That was terrible." They all glared at poor Legolas, who had, once again, stated the obvious.

Snape just shook his head."We're doomed."