The chapters are counting themselves down. Only two more left, my wonderful readers and lovely reviewers! Oh, I must remind you that neither do I own Shakespeare or Tolkien or any other characters or places. The only things I own are Marie and my hilarious plot. :)

A monsterous sound akin to a thunderclap drowned out the madman's reply. Oompa-Loompas appeared in swarms, waves of pirates came onto the scene, a legion of white knights rode out on ivory steeds, goblins joined the party, and the Adamses waved and the Cullens fought their way through the dense crowd to their respective family members. A massive amount of Elves from El Rond's Arda-that-wasn't stepped gracefully from the large portal and the Dwarves rushed out singing Christina Aguilara.

The whole group began talking at once and, when Gandalf appeared, his attempt to be heard over the uproar was in vain. Dumbledore cleared his throat and tapped that Maia on the shoulder, as if asking for permission to take charge, which Gandalf gave gratefully. "QUIET!" Shouted Dumbledore at the noisy crowd. Instantaneous silence inevitably commenced.

"Now that is what I call crowd control!" Marie bounded up to both of the older men and hugged them tightly. "I missed you two!" She said, though her words were slightly muffled by their beards.

"Nice to see you again, Marie." Dumbledore said cordially, lifting her hand to his lips. "A pleasure, as always."

Gandalf nudged the other wizard. "Now, now, you old flirt. She belongs to a Dwarf Lord."

Marie sighed happily and cast a predatorial look at Gimli. "Oh yes I do." She rubbed her hands together gleefully. "And once I have him where I want him, you guys won't see either of us for *days*!"

"That is not something we wished to know." Snape made a face. "You have now put an image into my head that would crack a pensieve. Congradulations."

"I'm not responsible for whatever images your lewd mind conjures up, Severus." Marie smiled once more at the two gentlemen and then took her leave.

"Severus," Dumbledore's eyes were about to twinkle right out of their sockets. "Have you been behaving on your mission?"

"You make me sound as if I am a toddler." Snape answered indignantly, his feathers had been ruffled. "Which, if I may remind you, I am no longer confined to nappies."

"That's not what Poppy said." Dumbledore deadpanned. Snape fumed, his face actually getting some color and one would wonder rather you might get to see smoke come out of his ears. The Headmaster laughed merrily and put his hand on his employee's arm. "Calm down, Severus, or as the young ones say today; take a chill pill, dawg. Why you gotta be so negative, homie?"

"Aaah.." Gandalf sniggered. "I think it would be best if you did *not* try to speak the newest form of slang, Albus. It truly doesn't suit you."

"Oh well, so be it...Lemon drop?" Offered popped one into his own mouth and hummed contentedly.

Gandalf blushed. "You'll have to forgive him. We stopped by the pub before we came."

Snape shook his head, while Jareth, who had seen everything, collapsed in laughter. "We have a drunk Headmaster, a skunk-haired murderer, a half-mad Hatter, a lunatic postmistress, demon spawn, a pyrokinetic, a frog-man, vegetarian vampires, a macbre family, a disco-era sex-crazed British spy, singing Dwarves, non-singing Dwarves, thousands of Munchkins and twice as many Oompa-Loompas...Merlin, strike me where I stand." Just as he said that, a rock came and bonked him on his noggin.

"Sorry!" Came a nasely voice. Gollum crawled up to the dazed professor. "We thoughts its was a nasty orcses. Now we knows its was just ugly man."

"Your grammer hurts my ears." Snape snarled. "The proper way to say that is; I apologize, I presumed that you were a despicable orc."

Gollum slinked away, muttering under its breath. "Nasty man tells us to goes away, precious. Nasty man, mean man it is. Yes, yes! We kills him first, then we takes his noses for ourselves!"

"When did Snape grow a second nose?" Marie asked Jareth. She was on her way back over and had heard Gollum's mutterings. "Wasn't one bad enough?"

Snape glared at her and struggled to return to his feet. "I DO NOT, nor will I EVER have a second nose." He proclaimed. "And I would thank you to stop talking as I now have a prominent headache."

"QUIET!" Dumbledore thundered a second time. He smiled, though his eyes looked a bit glazed. "It is now time for Aragorn to rile you all up and get you in the spirit of battle!" He tried to push Aragorn in front of him, but King Elessar resisted. Dumbledore asked frustratedly why Aragorn wouldn't do it.

"To be honest, he acts as if they creep him out." Marie suddenly appeared.

"Marie!" Aragorn grabbed her arm and thrust her forward. "Just the girl I needed. Go out there and get them in the fighting mood!"

"You want me to start a Pep Rally?" They nodded, so she shrugged. "Alright." Turning to the army, she bowed and smiled. "You won't know who I'm talking about when I say that I admire Shakespeare, but I will quote him anyhow because he's awesomesauce on the icecream of the world." She coughed to clear her throat and recited.
"'Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear;
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come.'" She grinned. "I think that about summs my opinion on the matter." She waited for their reaction with patience.

They all stood silent for a moment, then slowly a cheer began to build, until nearly everyone was shouting at the top of their voices.

Just then, the sky darkened and a sickeningly sweet perfume thickened the air. Jaw-droppingly beautiful voices were heard on the wind. Aragorn gritted his teeth. "The Sues are coming."