Warning: Joey is really confused and will be a bit of a jerk at times and repeatedly think the same things since he's just really confused about his own feelings but at the end it'll be a little better.
5. Joey's heart
I can't believe it. Kaiba said that he loves me. And I kissed him. Why on earth did I just kiss him? I mean I like him and maybe I might be thinking for sometime now that he's really hot and sexy and all that and granted, I sort of threw a jealous fit when I was alone in Téa's room and read that she's hot on him too but still. I just kissed him. Well I guess I'm dating moneybags now, or am I? I didn't actually say anything and thinking he's hot and loving him are two really different things.
I slowly walk back to the party happy that Mokuba interrupted before I had to talk to Seto some more. And even more happy that I really can stay with him for a little longer since I truly wouldn't have known where to go.
"There you are." Yugi says once I walk back into the huge ball room where tables have been placed and chairs all around as well as a DJ in a corner with space as a dance floor in front of him. "Happy birthday pal."
"Hey Yug." I say with a smile and take the present he's holding out. I don't even pretend to be surprised anymore since we talked about the presents this morning but of course I'm happy about my new cool duel disk anyway and put it on my arm right away to show it off. "Thank's Yug that's great."
"Just great?" Yugi asks smiling, "The last few years you said about my presents that it was the best present you got yet."
"Well it's the second best one, but now that I'm sort of closer to Kaiba who happens to have a gamin' company and is filthy rich, ya gotta be faster then him." I tease with a smile.
"I hope he didn't give you the same one since it is from KC." Yugi says worried.
"Nope." I calm him, "It doesn't actually have anythin' to do with games, even though I can play with it." I grin at his confused look. "Give it up ya never figure it out. But the best part is that I got keys for this place so now I'm not standin' in the cold if I wanna go out with ya guys till past nine."
"That's great." Yugi says, "So he also isn't kicking you out like you feared."
"Nope," I say. "I'm stayin', at least for now."
"And for how long?" Yugi asks me.
"I guess until we break up." I say with a little blush.
Yugi stares at me with his mouth open. "You mean until you two fight again and your friendship ends, right?"
"That too." I confirm partly.
Téa and the others are walking over to us and I sort of worry how she'll react. I mean I did over react a little since she only mentioned once or twice on the pages I read that he's really sexy and she would like to get a little closer, or rather a lot closer in a physical way, but she hadn't written once that she loves him. I hope she doesn't love him. At least not enough to be pissed that I kissed him and that he said that he loves me.
"Here." Téa says and hands me the voucher in an envelope. I don't even look inside since she knows that I know. "And by the way, I moved my diary and if you ever dare to even look for it or read it I'm going to kill you."
"Don't worry, I mean the most interestin' thing was that you think Kaiba is a jerk because it's mean and selfish of him to hide his sexy ass under a way too long coat all the time." I say and see her blush while the rest of the gang chuckles.
"Ya got the hot's for Kaiba?" Tristan asks, still laughing a little.
"Well, he's got a great ass, but that's all, he's sexy but I'm not stupid enough to fall in love with a gigantic jerk like him. I mean he's a total jerk and not just because of his coat." She says in her defends and I'm sort of glad to hear it. Even though I don't like that it means that I must be stupid to fall for a gigantic jerk like him, if I did. I'm not sure about it though.
Tristan laughs but I just say, "Well, he's not a total jerk, he's lettin' me stay even though he doesn't have to."
"Really?" Tristan asks surprised, "I don't know what's more shocking, that he's allowing you to stay or that you sound like it's a good thing that you're going to stay here."
"It is a good thing since I don't have anywhere else to stay," I say, "Well unless I let him pay for some place which he said he would. Or rather he already has in case I want to go I can anytime and he pays."
Everyone stares at me. "Who said that and why don't you take that offer if you really have that option." Duke asks me after a moment.
"He told me about that and I don't take that offer because I wouldn't have Seto there." I say with a little blush and hear the door open behind me, the one I just walked through to get back here. I turn and see Seto and Mokuba walk through, "Well, if ya talk of the devil there he comes." I say and lean up to give Seto another kiss, partly to let the others know that I'm with him, at least, sort of with him, but mostly because he isn't just good looking, he's also one hell of a kisser. He still looks sort off shocked that I do that, but he's hiding it so well that I'm not sure if I'm just imagining it. "What took ya so long to get back?"
"Mokuba had a few questions." He answers as calm as always while my friends stare at us like we're no less then the ghosts of aliens or something even more strange. I wish I had a camera to make a picture of their faces, their priceless.
"No surprise, I would have more then a few questions if I saw my sister kissin' some guy all alone in a room when she should be at a party." I say and the look on my friends faces are even funnier then before.
"You two…are kissing?" Tristan asks disgusted.
"Like she said," I say pointing towards Téa. "He's hot. And on top of it, he's sort of nice to me."
"Sort of?" I hear him say.
"Yeah sort of, ya didn't tell me what I'd get for my birthday before I got it." I grumble.
"Fine," He says, "Next time I tell you, preferably after your friends show up."
"Please don't," I say, "Tell me when we're alone."
"Then don't pester me when they're around." He suggests.
"No way," I complain, "If I do ya just gonna hang around them to shut me up."
"I guess I rather take your pestering then that lot anyway. But like I said, I could tell you in front of them." He says with that annoying smug smile on his face, he knows that he wins if he threatens that since I don't really want them to find out especially not from him and I hate it when he thinks he's winning.
Well I can still let him lose. "Fine tell me when they're around. Guys I can play piano and love it and I got a rally cool lookin' grand piano from him and I love it." After that I look towards Seto, "Now next time ya can tell me everythin' in front of them." And with that I stick out my tongue.
"And now you can play the piano even if we have company." He points out still with that smug smile.
"Screw you." I mumble upset that he won after all. But I have to admit that it is sort of fun to bicker like this.
"You really can play the piano? It always looks so complicated, the notes alone look tricky." Yugi says.
"You should see them when Joey writes it down." Seto says with a grin, "I tried to teach him enough about fraction to learn the notes by giving him cakes and now he draws cakes instead of notes." Why does that guy have to get all chatty when he's embarrassing me with it? Maybe I should think it over and dump him right away, or latest tomorrow morning when I'm completely sober, after all I did have two or three beers so far. Wait, can I dump him if I never said that I'm dating him?
"That's what you where talking about in school." Tristan says.
"Yeah." I admit, "To be honest, I think I got the notes too, but watchin' him deceiver my cakes is way more fun then tryin' to think of how to draw what note."
"If that's the case I stop the translation and if you don't show Miss Johnson your pieces in notes she's sure to torture the whole class about them again." Seto points out.
"That was because of you?" Tristan complains.
"Sorry, Seto please keep helping me I promise to try and learn the notes but I'm really still not sure about them please don't be mad." I beg and give him my puppy eyes, after all, they seem to work wonders as soon as he looks into them.
And it does once again, just this time he also moves his arm around my waist, very slowly and I already know that he's worried about what happened to me with dad's gambling buddies again, probably wondering if it's okay to touch me even though he hardly is doing that. I know he still worries about me a lot since he still looks at me like I'm about to burst into tears all the time.
I mean it sure as hell wasn't nice and hurt like a bitch but it's not like I don't know that it would be different with him. I had guys before and remember how nice that was, well as long as the guy was half way nice and I bet that Seto is three times as gentle as any of those. He might try to look tough and careless but once you really get to know him, it's obvious that he ain't as bad as he makes everyone think. I bet he's as tame as a kitten in bed, but I better never point that out or he'll be pissed like hell. It might be interesting to find out someday if he'll try to prove me wrong and turns into a tiger on me but whatever, I'm not about to let those bad memories fuck up my whole live so I wish he'd stop worrying.
"Don't worry, I keep helping you, after all who else is going to make sure that your master pieces are preserved for future generations." He says, watching my face to see how I react to his touch.
"Master pieces?" I ask jokingly as always knowing that he hates it, "Ya mean when I mess around on the piano?"
"You better learn the notes." He grumbles and I grin.
"We had a deal." I point out.
"Your 18 the deals up." He says with his smug smile. "You'll have to learn them now."
"Nope, I got my own piano so ya can't make me do nothin'." I say grinning.
His smile is threateningly dangerous but all he says is, "We'll see." And I have a strong feeling that I'll be sitting around learning notes very, very soon. I really hate his smug smile.
"Sure we will." I say trying to show off that I'm sure I won't and I have an idea how I might get around it. I give him a slightly more heated kiss as before, firstly to prove that I'm not going to burst into tears that easily and secondly to distract him, after all that's my best bet against him. The look on his face shows it all, he does still treat me like a damsel in distress and thinks that I'm just as fragile as one. I better show him that I'm not, and I better show him that really soon, I can't wait to see his face when I try to seduce him for the first time….Wait did I just actually already think of seducing that guy? I was just wondering if I should break up moments ago! What the hell is wrong with me?
"Go get a room." Tristan says after the kiss.
"Great idea." I reply with a grin and actually walk towards the door grabbing Seto's hand, mostly to see his reaction as well as the one on my friends face, but I also hope that if I get to seduce him now, I can say it was due to the beer later, if I want to break up.
Unfortunately though, he doesn't budge an inch and just points out, "It would be incredibly rude to disappear while you have guests."
"So what?" I ask just to earn a weak version of his death glare and add, "Fine, we can still do the rest later." And I fully intend to do just that, unless of course the party goes on for so long that my sleepiness wins out over the mood I'm currently in. Which could happen. Of course it could as easily happen that he pisses me off before hand. "Come on lets dance." I say and try to pull him to a different direction, but once again, he just won't budge.
"I don't dance." He says.
"Ya said ya don't sing either but guess what, ya did." I point out and try to pull him again with about as much success as before.
"I really, don't dance." He says again and glares at me even worth then before.
"Great." Duke says with a wink. "Then how about I dance with you Joey." Now he grabs my hand and pulls me towards the dance floor. I follow slightly disappointed but I can still try to talk Seto into dancing later. "Don't worry." Duke says once we're on the dance floor. "After about teen seconds dancing with me, he'll be all over you."
I wonder what he means with that but not for long, once we're on the dance floor I'm much closer to him then I think Seto will like me to be and have a hard time keeping his hands from my butt. "Would ya please slow down?" I ask him, "Or else I ain't gonna get to dance with Seto for ages because he's gonna be looked up in jail for killin' ya."
"Come on, let me have some fun once in a while." He says with a wicked smile.
"Who do ya wanna make jealous?" I ask. I know the guy, he's worse then Seto in some ways because he tries to look reasonably nice while everyone of his moves is at least as calculated as Seto's. Being forced into a doggy outfit by someone teaches ya a lesson about said someone. I mean he's a friend so he won't course me any trouble, at least not too much, but he will use me when he thinks it save to do so.
"Top secret." He says. Well at least he isn't denying it that he shamelessly uses me and I sort of hope that it'll work for me too.
Unfortunately it doesn't work. After the song is over I look around just to notice that Kaiba disappeared again already. I guess his hatred for parties won. Oh well, since I live with him I'll get to see him sooner or later for sure. Wow that sounds freaky, we just got together, if that's what we are and we're already living together…I really don't know why but I'm starting to get the feeling that he somehow planned for this to happen all along and was only so nice all of a sudden to get into my pants. Well maybe a little more than just that but still. I've got to ask him about it.
Whatever, I enjoy the rest of my birthday party to the fullest. I dance with some of my pals and some hot chicks who flirt with me, probably mainly because I'm their ticked into the grand Kaiba mansion but it does feel great to be swarmed by tons of hot chicks, it simply does wonders for your confidence even if your gay. But the best thing is knowing that even though most of them only want me as a steep in to get another guy, said guy seems to have fallen head over heals for me.
But even though the party is great, I'm really happy to see the backside of my last guest walking away from the mansion. Especially since by then the light outside is blindingly bright already. I walk up towards my room and walk into no one else then Seto. "Good morning." He says looking way to well rested for someone who should have been on my birthday party.
"Good night." Is all I say and walk past him. Even though I guess that I'm sort of dating him and he did a lot of nice things for me, for which I'm grateful, it still pisses me of that he's that bright and well rested when he should have been on my party and just as tired as I am.
And to top it of he just keeps on walking out. I know he probably got to go to work but still, it pisses me of that he doesn't even say anything. I really hope for his sake that I'm less pissed off after sleeping for a little while.
After I slept for a few hours I go to Yugi's and talk to him a little more about what happened between me and Kaiba and he too thinks that having kissed him clearly means that we're dating, since he confessed right before. I don't know if that's such a great idea so. I mean, he's a great kisser and clearly really hot but still, he's a jerk.
Well, he used to be one, great now I'm even more confused. After talking to Yugi and the rest about him and hearing Yugi defend Seto while Téa and Tristan remind me of everything Kaiba did, from calling me a mutt to hitting me and throwing me to the floor, my head is spinning so badly that I'm getting a headache and just want to crawl into bed again and hopefully, never weak up again.
Unfortunately Seto's limousine drives by me while I walk the miles along his driveway towards his front door. Once he's out of the vehicle he waits for me. "How are you today?" He asks me once I'm there while I walk past him towards the entrance.
"Still tired." I just say wondering what I should do. Should I stay together with him or rather run off to stay with one of my pals. I most certainly won't accept any charity from him after dumping him, if it's even counted as dumping since I never once said that I'm going out with him, I mean I was already slightly drunk the previous night and just flirting and kissing a little, well maybe a little more.
"Dinner will be ready now." He points out. "Will you have some or are you even too tired for that?"
"I'm never to tired for food." I tell him.
"Good," He says, "Then let's go."
I walk next to him in silence and wonder why on earth he fell in love with me in the first place. The only thing we ever really talked about is music or duel monsters and right now I've got absolutely no idea what I can talk to him about. Once we're there I see Mokuba sit at the table and smile at him. "Hey kiddo."
"Hey." He says smiling back, "How's our new couple doing?"
I freeze. Did he just call us a couple? Did he have to name us that. What am I supposed to do now? If I don't say anything it'll be the same as if I'll say it myself. But I'm still not really sure if that's what I want. I've got it, I just say, "Are we that? Because I thought that he should at least dance with me on my birthday then." There he's got it. I didn't say we are but I didn't have to say we're not either. Man I'm the worse, I'm completely leading him on without even knowing if I want to be with him. Now that I think about it, I even wanted to screw around just for the fun of it knowing that he loves me, I wonder who of us is the bigger jerk right now and fear that it's me.
"Not every couple is all about dancing with each other." He says while I just blush and look away, tying to look upset which should be easy since I'm still a little pissed with him.
"I'm not all about it." I mumble, "But it's my birthday, ya could have at least danced with me once when I ask ya."
"That's what you get for having a stubborn boyfriend." Mokuba says and I blush even more. Honestly, does he have to say it so clear all the time. First he calls us a couple and now he calls him my boyfriend. How am I supposed to get around it this time.
On top of it the maids are just serving the dinner and I don't really want to start anything while their around. What am I supposed to do apart from blushing and looking away which I can't help but do. I notice him watching my reaction, maybe he can guess that I'm not exactly comfortable with it. He should know, he always behaves like he knows everything so haw can't he notice this. I hear him sigh before he says, "Mokuba, please stop saying such things. He never said that we're together so please stop assuming things." Wow, I wonder if that guy is a flipping mind reader, he really did notice.
"But he kissed you." Mokuba points out, "And right after you confessed. He wouldn't lead you on like that if he didn't mean the kiss. So it's a given that your together."
"Please stay out of this Mokuba." Seto says again and I feel only worse now that Seto is helping me while Mokuba calls things by it's name, I am mean for doing what I do but I really don't know what I should do right now.
"Say something Joey." Mokuba says, "I'm right aren't I? I mean you do love him right."
"Didn't I just ask you do stay out of this?" Seto says before I can even consider answering Mokuba's question and I have to admit that I'm damn grateful for that. I mean what was I to say to Mokuba of all people. I kissed him because I was drunk and hell he's a heck of a kisser but I'm not sure if I want to date him? Sure he'll love hearing that.
"But…" Mokuba mumbles but thanks to Kaiba's death glare he stays quiet and just looks at me questioningly for awhile. But not for long. He helps himself to a big plate full of the dinner and then stands up taking the plate into his hand. "Well then I leave and let you two sort this out on your own. Let me know what I'm allowed to say afterwards." And then he leaves with a pout.
Seto gives a sigh and simply starts eating like nothing has happened. For now I follow his example and still think about what I'll do later. Once I'm stuffed with all the tasty stuff I leave.
I don't reach the door before he speaks to me about this after all, "The offer for you to move out still stands."
I turn and look at him. He's still sitting in the same spot even though he finished his food long before I did. Well to be perfectly honest, he hardly ate at all. I watch him for a moment before I walk closer again, back to my seat and watch his face. He doesn't really look at me but his face is as calm as always, absolutely businesslike. "Ya really love me, don't ya." He doesn't look like it right now but I still remember his words from last night, and he sure as hell wouldn't have said anything like it if he didn't mean it, I mean like REALLY mean it. A bit of a crush would never pull such sappy stuff from Seto Kaiba.
"I think I made that clear." He says and the way he puts the emphasis on the second I, it's clear that he is upset that I didn't make it as clear and still am the one to ask about his feelings.
"I know." I say and watch his face which still hasn't changed.
He's quiet for a moment but then says, "I probably shouldn't have said anything."
"No," I say, and I mean that, I'm happy to know that he likes me, I was worried from day one that he'd kick me out onto the street or torture me while I'm here since we didn't exactly see eye to eye before. "Why do ya like me?" I ask him, I was wondering for sometime, since he told me about his feelings I was wondering about why he loved me. "I mean, ya said ya do and are nice now, but ya always pissed me off and picked on me and stuff. I just don't get it why ya changed all of a sudden and started likin' me."
"I liked for quiet some time. To be absolutely honest, I liked you for as long as I know you." He says looking away a little instead of just looking to his empty plate but other then that his face doesn't really change. "I just didn't want anyone to notice since I'm reasonably sure that you wouldn't have reacted too favourable if I'd told you about my feelings right away. That's why I always picked on you, I didn't want to get hurt."
I fight a chuckle, I'm actually overjoyed with the fact that it's so clear in his voice that he absolutely loathes it to admit that he doesn't want to get hurt. The great Seto Kaiba is afraid of getting hurt, how cute. Well I'm not mean enough to say anything about it but I still like the fact that he has a bit of a weakness too. "Then why did ya start bein' nice all of a sudden? I mean it isn't like ya had more of a chance then."
"You needed me." He answers, "When I heard your song I feared that you might be in trouble, exactly that kind of trouble you turned out to really be in. I was afraid that it was even worse though and helping you was more importantly then preventing myself from getting hurt a little." Great, now I feel bad for thinking that it was funny that Kaiba had to admit something like that to me since he actually did more for me then I thought. It must have cost him quiet a bit to jump over his own shadow and risk getting hurt just to help me. "Anything else you want to know?" He asks and I can hear that he really doesn't like this conversation and I'm not surprised at all. I'm more or less forcing him to admit to a lot, well he could just not answer or lie. He could even pretend that it was all a joke but since he likes me and I actually kissed him, raising his hopes to some degree by doing that, he probably can't do either of that and has to answer. I can't help but feel smug about cornering the great Seto Kaiba into admitting all that stuff to me.
"No," I say, "Not really, just, no forget it."
He watches me for a moment and then says, "Spit it out already. It's not fair to say something like that and then just stop. You're making me curious"
"I don't have anymore questions." I whisper hardly loud enough for him to hear.
He watches me again for awhile and then says, "Whatever, if you choose to leave after all just let me know, like I said an apartment for you has already been prepared just in case."
"Won't you be sad if I leave?" I ask, after all I absolutely believe that he's more then just in love with me, he must have absolutely lost it since he's saying so many sappy things.
"Not as long as you aren't." He says, "Watching you walk around here miserably or even kissing me just to be distend the next moment is worse."
Man that stings. I already got it that I'm a jerk right now no need to tell me. "I'm sorry, I just, was a little drunk and didn't think about what I did. And, well, I…oh forget it."
"I hate it when you do that." He says and for once I can see the hurt in his eyes, since I said that I was drunk and didn't think about what I did he looks like I drowned his puppy or something.
"Do what." I ask confused, what on earth did I do now, apart from telling him that I mainly kissed him thanks to the beer but it sort of didn't sound like he meant that.
"Starting to tell me something and then say I should forget it." He says. "You did it a few moments ago and now again."
"Sorry, but it's not easy to tell someone who used to be a total jerk and who's guts you hated that ya can think of nothing else than that ya want to kiss his brains out." I blurt out and then blush. He just stares at me confused, I better try to explain it a little. "Well I used to hate ya, and all of a sudden your nice to me and I don't get it and then ya just stand there while I think that I'm gonna be on the streets in a few hours and ya tell me that ya love me and that ya would do so much for me as to pay for everythin' even if I don't wanna see ya. How on earth was I to react then kiss ya. I mean I was happy and then it feels so nice and I keep kissing ya and then ya don't even wanna dance."
"Complain about that one more time and you get your wish but I swear to god that your feet won't thank me." He grumbles.
"That's not even the point." I continue my rant. "It's just, I don't know what to do, I used to hate ya and all of a sudden I just wanna screw ya all the time and it's not even just that. I mean I told ya that I did that with guys before while I was in a gang. I had sex with guys and girls and all but it never meant anythin' and now ya here and make my heart race, my head spin, my knees wobbly and I don't know what to do. I just don't know what to think of it, I mean I suddenly like someone I used to hate and then ya love me so damn much but I…I don't know how much I can return that, I like ya, but I'm not sure if it's as much as ya like me and I don't wanna hurt ya by tryin' something that won't work out. I mean I get that I hurt ya even more right now but I just don't know what do to. I'm not a freaking genius that always knows everythin' and even can read my freakin' mind."
He stares at me but then he smiles a little. "Fine." He says. "I tell Mokuba to give you time and to stop saying such things and we'll see how it works out. We do whatever your comfortable with, and if it gets too much you can tell me."
I stare at him. He does get that he might get hurt that way doesn't he? I mean, what if I suddenly find out that I like him but not really love him as much as he loves me? What if it isn't enough? I don't want to hurt him, but I do want to try it with him. I want to kiss him again. I wanted that all day long, and I still keep on wondering if he'll really be like a kitten in bed. I nod and he takes my hand in his for a moment and leans over to give me a kiss.
"What on earth was that?" I ask him after the tiny peek on the lips.
"A kiss." He says, "Why was it too much."
"Ya gotta be kiddin' me." I say and grab his tie and pull him closer to really kiss him before I say, "That's a kiss." And a few hours later, I know that I wasn't right. He isn't as tame as a kitten in bed. Compared to him, a kitten is a tiger. I so need to wake up his inner tiger and prove him that I'm not gonna break from a simple touch.
Authors note: Thanks to punkfluff, dancing elf, Violet-Eclipse, sherabo, SailorDeathMoon and noffermans for the review.
Next chapter is already sort of an epilogue about how that trying ended. But considering how he talked about his feelings to Seto are it's obvious that Joey's already head over heals right?