Sorry about not being able to update earlier. I had a Y2Y summit on Wednesday and Thursday and they were for 7 hours. Really fun though! I don't remember being on the computer on Tuesday… Well I got 3 shots tomorrow and I went to the dentist. So I am still in a bit of pain. Especially my right arm with is my dominant arm. So I might have some errors in the story.

And I know people are reading. So where are my reviews? Are you afraid that I will bite? Well I won't. And for anyone who needs a Beta Reader, I can be your girl! Ask me and I will consider. But just read my profile for more information about me.

Wow this was maybe one of my longest author's notes. Well time for chapter 7.

~Z

Disclaimer: Let's just say I do not have the talent or brain capacity to have written Leviathan or Hunger Games…

Deryn's voice invades my mind all day. I can hear her yelling, crying, cursing, laughing and sometimes I can even hear her whistling. It's like she is talking in my ear. It's like she is standing next to me. Lilit and Newkirk ignore me when this happens. Bovril will just watch me until I'm done shouting at the ceiling or crying. The doctors try to investigate about my behavior but they don't come up with anything. The Capitol isn't causing this, Deryn isn't causing this in fact no one else is causing this. There is no one who can blame because I'm causing it.

Now I lay here on the hospital bed for my hundredth examination. Dr. Barlow usually runs the tests since she is the only doctor I really trust. She left to get the results. It will probably say the same thing as always, that there is nothing wrong that I'm just losing my mind.

I always made fun of people who were mad but now I understand. It isn't something you can control. It is something you have fight through. I try and try but Deryn's voice just rings through my head. I want it to stop but there is nothing I can do about it.

"Alek, are you all right?" Dr. Barlow asks as she walks into the room with various papers in her hands.

I realize that I'm holding my hands over my ears and crouching. "I'm fine," I say.

"Well the papers just say the same thing as always but I do have a theory." she says sitting in the chair next to me.

"Which is?" I ask her. I don't think there is a name for the mental state I'm in.

"You're love sick and heart broken." she says.

"What do you mean? How could that cause my behavior?"

"Well the mind is a curious thing. Love is something very powerful for the mind. When you lost Deryn your mind couldn't handle the abandonment. So to make itself feel better, it made you believe Deryn was never gone."

"The voices," I mumble.

"Created so that your mind could hold onto her memory and make you feel less alone."

"And when I think she is there?"

"Just an illusion to make you gasp a shred of hope to keep pushing through."

"So my mind is doing all of this so that I never forget Deryn or give up on her?" I ask. It doesn't seem possible. How could my mind do all of this?

"Exactly. But when Deryn is in your reach again your behavior should return to normal." she says. She looks at her own arm. "Seems it's time for Lunch, you should go and eat with the other Victors."

I climb down from the hospital bed and go to the cafeteria. People whisper about me in the halls and just shake their heads. None of them understand. And they never will.

I grab my food and sit at my table. Lilit is already there eating. I don't see Bovril or Newkirk. Where could they have gone?

"Good afternoon lover boy." Lilit chirps as I sit down.

"Can you please stop calling me that?" I mutter as I eat my food.

"Okay, would you rather that I called you Crazy?"

I sigh. There is no way to win with Lilit as the opponent. "I'll stick with 'lover boy' then."

"Good,"

I drink my water and look around but I don't see Bovril or Newkirk anywhere. "By the way have you seen Newkirk or Bovril?"

She looks up from her tray and looks at the ceiling as if searching for the answer. "I haven't the slightest idea. I thought they were with you." she says.

"No, I thought they were with you. Where could they have gone? Newkirk loves to eat and Bovril follows his schedule precisely, down to every second."

"I don't know. I was in the education center and I don't know where Newkirk was, his schedule is different from mine today."

"Something seems fishy and it's not just this fish chowder. We should go search for him." I say. The fish chowder has a very strong odor. I plug my nose and eat it since I can't stand the smell.

"What about Bovril?" she asks.

"We can check in the Hospital Ward to see if he is there. Then we can go look for Newkirk."

"It's not like him to go MIA." she mumbles.

"Let's finish eating and go find them." I say.

Along the way to the Hospital Ward we notice that not many people are in the halls. Even though we are in the Hospital, nurses and doctors are usually buzzing through the halls. But there is barely anyone, only a few patients walking around and an occasional nurse or two. I notice that most of the rooms are empty.

"Something doesn't seem right." Lilit says searching around.

"It's too quiet and still." I say.

Then I see a bright light coming from the end of the hall. Both of us walk towards it. I hear a clatter of voices and the beeping of machines. Whoever is in there is in critical condition. I stop right outside the viewing room. I don't want to see that person. I don't like to see people in pain.

"Alek, come on." says Lilit. She is tugging me by the sleeve to enter the room.

"I don't want to go in." I tell her.

"I want to see who it is." she says trying to pull me into the room.

"Well I don't." I snap.

She takes a step back from me. "Alek,"

"I don't want to see someone who is in pain." I almost yell at her.

"I'm not asking you to go in there and torture them I just want to visit the person."

"Well wouldn't they enjoy that? Because seeing you would bring a smile to their face." I spit at her with sarcasm dripping off every word.

She looks taken back. I suddenly realize that I have never talked to her like that. Although she is tough and confident on the outside, she is vulnerable and scared on the inside. She was never good with negative comments. I walk towards her. But she just steps away from me. I can see the tears build up in her eyes. I see her lip quivering. She looks like she is about to cry. I have really done it now.

"Lilit-" I start to say.

She punches me in the stomach. I feel the air escape my lungs. She watches me fall to the floor in pain. I can see her feet moving away from me. I try to reach out to tell her that I'm sorry. But she's gone.

I slowly get up and hold the door frame. I take deep breaths. She always had a strong arm. I search around for her but she's out of sight. I debate whether I should go in and see the patient.

I suck in a big gulp of air and walk into the room.

All the doctors are crowded around the person. I can't see who it is yet. The monitors are beeping at a normal rate but I see a lot blood. It's staining everything. That person must have had quite an accident. I keep watching the doctors' work to see if I can see who the patient is.

No one moves out of the way. I sit in a chair and watch. I ignore the schedule on my arm.

"Alek what are you doing here?" I turn towards the door and see Bovril standing there.

"I'm fine, I'm just wondering who this patient is." I settle back in the chair.

Bovril sits next to me. "I was wondering that too but no one will tell me or let me in the room." he says.

"So it's a mystery to the both of us."

"Yeah," Bovril says.

I'm not sure how long we have stayed in the viewing room but it has been a while. The doctors are starting to leave and I can see a little of the person but not too much. A doctor pulls a curtain in front of the patient's bed. They all leave.

I get up and go into the next room. The door is unlocked. I walk through and head to the person's bed. It sounds like the person is sleeping soundly. I pull the curtain away.

The patient has his blanket covering his face and is snoring loudly. I pull the blanket away.

It can't be. It just can't be him. I don't even see where he could have gotten so damaged. He has his arm bandaged up and his face is covered in bandages yet again.

Only Newkirk would damage himself this much. Always so accident prone. I wonder how he got hurt. I don't think the education center was a lethal place. Well for the body that is.

He is still sleeping peacefully. I look at all the monitors and see that everything is okay. When he wakes up I will ask him what happened but for now he needs his rest.

I settle in a chair close to his bed and wait. I find myself dozing off. Maybe a little sleep won't hurt. I rest my head on the wall and close my eyes.

I must have slept for hours because the hospital is very quiet and there is no one in the halls. I stay with Newkirk and wait for him to wake up. I don't want to go back to the apartment since Lilit might still be mad at me. She might try to strangle me if I go there.

I stare at the clock, just waiting for time to pass by.

"Alek where are you?" Deryn asks.

I hold my hands over my ears. She isn't here. She isn't really here.

"Alek I'm waiting for you." she says in a sing song voice.

"Get out of my head." I say careful not to wake Newkirk.

She starts laughing maniacally. "Never," she whispers. It's like I can feel her breath on my ear.

I shrug it away. She isn't here. This is a figment of my imagination.

"Is that all I am to you?" she asks sadly.

"You aren't really here." I mutter.

"In your mind I am." she says.

"No you're not!" I exclaim. I look over to Newkirk who is still asleep.

"Don't give up on me Alek. Please don't give up on me just yet." she whimpers.

I take my hands off of my ears. "I would never give up on you." I say.

"Thank you Alek. I love you." she says.

I stare at the one way glass. "I love you too Deryn,"

I close my eyes and sleep.

Good? Yes? No? Sorry if it's a bit short my arm is hurting and I have to baby sit. I will maybe have the next chapter up by Monday. So you know what to do.

~Z