Reveiws are to me what skittles are to Frank Iero 3

Frank's P.O.V

At about 5 in the evening, my usual tour routine of sleeping, reading, scavenging Doritos off Bob, sleeping, reading, practising a bit, sleeping, reading etc. was interrupted by the bus coming to an unexpected halt. Just as Mikey and I got up to open the shutters, silently praying that we hadn't managed to break down already, there was a bang at the trailer door. Bob got there first, shrugging in our direction and ramming open the door, which was slightly stiff in it's metal frame. "Welcome to Al's Motel! It's nothing special but there's showers and pretty decent pillows by the looks of things." announced a grinning Brian who was standing on a scruffy patch of cracked earth just in front of the trailer. We all let out small, not entirely sarcastic, cheers, rushing to the bedroom to snatch up some random items of clothing which we hoped vaguely resembled outfits, some assorted toothbrushes and Gerard's bag of make-up. Then hurried back into the kitchen and made the small leap down onto the scorched solid ground, I slammed the door behind me wincing and sucking at my finger as the metal was hot to the touch after hours in the thick sunlight.

Ray grinned at me as we passed a sign for free Wifi, looks like Mikey's getting his lap-top hijacked later on "We weren't expecting to get here till eight!" exclaimed Gerard as we made our way into the air conditioned, if slightly dodgily scented reception . "Who cares man? We're here now and they have internet!" enthused Ray, a mega watt grin on his tanned face, the contrast between him and Gerard was laughable, Vampire Prince vs Spray Tan Surfer. Gee caught me looking at him as I compared my two friends complexions and grinned manically as if reading my thoughts, I managed a sultry nod. I know I shouldn't sulk, no denying it's childish and uncalled for. It's never as obvious to the rest of the world what you're sulking about as you think, the most it ever achieves is you ending up mildly hated and shunned by your friends, but hey, I'm only human. He's acting like nothing happened, which I suppose to the rational mind it didn't. He probably thinks he's doing me a favour, letting me off the hook after a bit of on stage fun gone wrong, but the more he acts like nothing happened, the more I feel the need to remember and stress over it enough for the both of us, at least until I've figured out whatever the hell did happen and what on earth I want from it anyway. But watching him walking a few paces in front of me now, tapping out a rhythm on the top of his thigh as he makes his way up the staircase, I can't help but think that I know exactly what I want ... And it's standing right infront of me, everything I want and everything I'm too afraid to ask for.

"Race ya!" came a cry from behind me that I assumed to be Ray but before I had time to respond, Mikey, Ray and Bob shoved past me, calling dibs on the biggest room, the two singles and a sofa bed, leaving me in the smallest room with the double along with ... Gerard. Back up a sec, any other time, great, but not now, not today, not while things are still so raw from yesterday. I can't help but think that someone, somewhere, whoever controls this crazy ass world has it in for me lately! "Why do I have to room with him Mikey? He's your f*cking brother!" I whined in a last ditch attempt to save myself from the awkwardness this pairing was bound to entail "And he's your bestfriend! Can't I just have my own bed for once! I can't take another hotel night ruined by his night time wanderings, not to mention the snoring!" countered Mikey "Hey! I do not snore!" chipped in Gee, aiming a kick at his little brother's shins which soon developed into a full scale brawl. "Break it up. Frankie, you're dorming with Gee, you can survive one night, Mikey, you're delegated to the sofa bed for being an idiot, now shut up!" ordered Bob, Gee and I both glared at Mikey, though we knew the battle was lost, you don't argue with Bob, not when he's made up his mind about something. Sighing, I caught the keys Ray threw to me and set about unlocking the door, sauntering in without a backwards glance and dumping my carrier of stuff onto the depressingly small double bed. "Someone's got their knickers in a twist." I heard Mikey comment laughingly outside in the corridor, I had to smile at that, he sounded like my mother. "Thanks Mikes!" I yelled in reply and I heard their muffled laughter as they made their way into the room nextdoor, I heard the door click shut as Gerard followed me in and his junk soon joined mine sprawled out on the once white bedspread.

Gee examined one of the yellowing lace curtains pinched between two of his ragged nails "Nice place." he grinned gesturing to the damp patch the curtains inadequately disguised, I allowed myself a small smile, he was after all, trying to make the most of a pretty crap situation. "Who wants to brave the shower first?" he questioned a slightly desperate look on his face, silence is a rarity when the two of us are together, he was clearly squirming. Good. A more vindictive corner of my mind thought, my conscience on a whole however couldn't take the forced unfamiliarity and I gave in on the brooding then and there, it always was his speciality not mine. "I think you'd best go first, it's been so long since I've seen soap chances are I've developed some kind of deadly allergy." I joked though really deadly allergies are Mikey's field, he obviously appreciated the cooperation on my part because he grinned gratefully and grabbed a ragged towel from the cupboard and a bag of what I took to be toiletries from the side board "Ciao." he smirked and shut the bathroom door behind him firmly. I shifted our bags onto the floor and flopped down onto the bed, the springs of which objected profusely as the mattress sunk to swallow the upper half of my body whilst remaining hard as a rock from my waist down. Yet it's still better than the bunks. I thought back to that very first tour, all those stolen hours of sleep in the back seats of the van, more often than not we were woken by pot holes not three hours into a night's rest. After months of sleeping on each other's shoulder's, we can't afford to be too bitter towards the bunks. Yet part of me is. Nights spent on Gerard's shoulder, without any added complications, just endless nights, sleepless nights, highway by highway, state by state, now sound like some kind of faraway dream, something that was ill appreciated when the chance was given "And if we never sleep again, it would never end. Well I thought I heard you say to me, we'll go so far, far as we can." I sang quietly to myself, there was a thud as Gerard dropped the makeup bag back onto the sideboard. He stood there with the usual crooked smile on his black framed face, his chest an unbroken expanse of unnatural pale, a complete contrast to my own cartoon scattered skin, his ripped black jeans scattered with flashes of white skin, looking every bit the fallen angel. Some things never change. "Smashing pumpkins or batman?" he queried, walking over to his carrier of clothes and holding up two shirts "Batman." I replied definitively, Batman could cream Superman in a fight, no question about it. "Good choice my friend." he agreed pulling the T-shirt, which was black with the yellow Batman logo emblazoned across the chest, over his head and tugging his fingers through his still dripping hair "The water's lovely if you can forget about the mould." he reported and I pulled a uncertain face, causing him to chuckle. "I look forward to it but first I need some food, reckon this place has it's very own greasy cafe?" I speculated "Well if it doesn't that ruins a perfectly good stereotype, god knows how much we love stereotypes." he commented sarcasticly. grabbing his jacket and swinging open the hotel room door. "Well are you coming or not?" he asked whilst yanking on his converse, I nodded, pulled on a pair of Doc Martens and followed him out the door.

It wasn't hard to find the cafe, we just followed the smell of bacon and the maple syrup trail. Within 20 minutes we were sat in the clichéd diner we'd expected the second we lay eyes on the place, sipping at luke warm coke and speculating quietly over the likelihood of the syrup residue on our seats, sticking us here and making us late for tommorow's concert. A gum chewing waitress came over soon after, she batted her heavily mascaraed lashes at Gerard, pulling down the neckline of her already revealing top a little further and smiling in a way that suggested she rather liked what she saw. Great. The last thing I need is competition from an actual woman, this is impossible enough as it is. To my relief Gerard was clearly unimpressed though he took the attention with good humour "Um, could we order a margerita pizza please and two more cokes?" he asked politely, fighting vainly to look her in the eyes instead of the over exposed cleavage which was looming disturbingly close to his face. "Sure darling. anything else I can get you ..." she trailed off suggestively, giving me a "If looks could kill." glare when he remained completely unmoved by her attention "That'll be all thank you." he said sweetly. She knit her pencilled on eyebrows together in confusion, "Are you sure ..." she queried biting her lip in a manner I guess she took to be seductive but I was pleased to see it made her look a bit like a fish. "We're fine, thank you very much." I replied for him forcing a smile though I was in two minds whether or not to start a cat fight then and there, I decided against it though, fearing that brawn would over take beauty and I would lose for sure. Gee seemed to notice my frustration because he lay a cold hand on my knee, willing me to keep smiling until her miniskirt had wiggled itself out of sight. I saw the back of her blonde bee hive disappear through the kitchen doors and I watched Gerard's eyebrows raise comically once she was out of view. What I didn't see was any sign of him removing his hand. Oh f*ck, here we go again. "Can I have some of your coke?" he asked gesturing with the hand that wasn't preoccupied giving me a heart attack, to his empty glass, I nodded not really interested in the coke at that moment in time, too busy trying not to react to the hand that was resting on my knee, fearing that it's positioning wasn't deliberate and if I alerted him of it's whereabouts he'd remove it. God forbid he should ever do that, I'd be perfectly happy just to sit like this forever thank you very much, if it wasn't for the inevitable pins and needles an eternity would bring. He leant forwards slightly to take my near full Cola from me and as he did his hand slid forwards fractionally, just an inch or so, but it was enough to make my breath snag in my throat. He looked up momentarily and I knew the smirk on his face all too well. He knew exactly what he was doing to me, and he was enjoying himself far too much. Why though I couldn't decide, whether it was my humiliation or my apparent exhilaration that he was taking such delight in. He leant back, leaving his hand slightly higher up than it had originally began, but nowhere too explicit all the same. Taking my glass with him and not bothering to use his own straw, he is so lucky to be in the list of approximately 4 people on the planet I would let get away with sharing my straw, my own mother isn't even on that list ... Come to think of it there are no women on that list whatsoever. There is really no hope for me, huh? Soon Little Miss If Looks Could Kill returned with our pizza, and drinks, flouncing off without so much as a have a nice like a stroppy toddler. I caught Gee's eye and we burst out laughing, nearly choking on our fresh coke's as the clip clop of her skyscraper heels got further and further away, I felt his grip on my knee tighten as we doubled over snorting, noses inches away from the cheese of the pizza she had so kindly delivered. We sat hunched over the table for a minute or two, stamping out any remainders of the hysterical laughter that we had been trapped by for the past 5 or so minutes. We saw the "Shut up and eat." glares we were getting from the cafe's manager, a balding man who was quite possibly Bob's long lost uncle, for their displeased faces were a perfect match. We wolfed down the pizza, not really tasting it yet still suffering from the hot cheese's partner in crime, the burnt tongue. We left the bill on the table, leaving a generous tip for irony's sake and because we were rather worried she'd over heard our laughter, as much as she annoyed me, I'm not completely heartless.

We traipsed back to the room slowly, taking the time to admire the peeling wall paper and attempting only to step on the dark green squares of the hotel carpet (Which was a delightful combination of sludge green and sugar pink) out of sheer boredom. Why do I get the feeling that Little Miss If Looks Could Kill and Bob's Long Lost Uncle argued over colour scheming and ended up going half and half? When we re-entered the hotel room Gee flopped onto the bed and snatched up his sketch book, I figured now would be a good time to try out the shower, at this rate we'll block the drains with the amount of grime we wash down the plug hole. I grabbed the bag containing my tooth brush and crap and shut the door behind me definitively, warning Gee that now was not a good time to take a leak. I stripped off, shivering slightly and stepped into the grotty shower cubicle, the water was, of course, freezing cold, making me yelp, then boiling hot, making me yelp again and then freezing cold once more before it finally settled to a bearable temperature. I attempted to scrub the worst of the dirt from my skin but the truth is it's gotten to the point where I can't really discern the dirt from the doodles, still it was a luxury to feel clean for once. I lathered my hideously greasy hair with cheap hotel shampoo, knowing that Gerard would have used the whole bottle of conditioner already so there was no point looking. It's one of the things that annoys Mikey so much, that boy worships his hair, that and the fractured sleep. Gerard gets up at random times, he just can't stay still, it's not so bad for me, I can do crazy hours, but Mikey gets cranky on limited sleep. Last time he roomed with Gerard, he ended up snapping his toothbrush in frustration, I can see why Bob wasn't willing to risk it another time around. Quietly I am glad for the chance to bunk with Gerard, the annoyance doesn't quite out weigh the ecstasy, almost, but not quite. I rinsed off best as I could during one of the of the showers cold spells, shut off the rusted tap and shook my hair dry. Yanking on yesterday's and the day before's and the day before's and the day before's jeans, yeah, I only brought three pairs with me. Brushed my teeth with my favourite kiddies toothpaste that tastes like bubblegum and wandered out in search of a new top. I opened the door to see Gerard crashed out on the sunken matress, breathing heavily, I tip-toed out so as not to wake him but as I crept past the foot of the bed I'm sure I saw his eyelids flutter and flash the familiar hazel that they were supposed to be keeping hidden. I pulled out a black T-shirt with a guitar on and tugged it on, ignoring the fact that it was quite clearly made for a man twice my size, if I bought clothes in the appropriate sizes, I'd be shopping in the boys range. As I pulled it on, I was sure I saw his lids flash open once more, but once I surfaced from the neck of the shirt, they were firmly closed once again.
I glanced at the clock, 11:30 pm, aw, screw this, I'm going to bed. I was about to poke Gerard, on the off chance that he was genuinely sleeping, but he rolled over the second he felt my weight beside him, leaving me a decent share of the quilt and a fair if rather slumped section of matress, I grunted my thanks, sliding in beside him fully clothed and shutting my eyes hesitantly. I don't trust myself to be this close to Gerard while unconscious, I need enough self control around him as it is without my mind not actually being there to make the decisions. Not that you get much sleep beside Gerard anyway, I could hear him humming quietly to himself as I drifted restlessly off to sleep, doubtless he was awake now if he'd ever genuinely been asleep in the first place, I recognised the tune as This Is The Best Day ever and I'm sure I joined in at some point, before I slipped into oblivion for the first time tonight. A state that I am certain will not be permanent, not given the sleeping habits of my bunk mate.

1 am:

"Run Frankie! Run for it!" shrieked the black haired man stood beside me, sweat plastered his shirt to his alabaster skin, his eyes were darting from side to side furiously as if searching for some unknown danger. His scalp was wet with crimson splashes. Gerard. MyGerard, I just knew it, in this world, he was mine. I noticed his hand had been clutching my own only by the chill I felt at it's absence. He dropped to his knees blood, dripping slowly from beneath his left hand, which was cradling the wound on his head. "Frankie. Run!" he begged hysterically though his voice was hoarse and cracked, lacking it's usual lyrical quality. I shook my head defiantly, unable to find the words, his eyes fluttered defeatedly and I could hear how much pain each laboured breath gave him. "Gerard? Gerard!" I begged but I was met with nothing but a pained moan. I was loosing him. Footsteps behind me, I span to face the sound. There stood Ray and Mikey. I let out a sigh of relief, surely between the three of us we'd be able to get him help. But they drew their guns and trained them on my head. I felt Gerard clasp my hand once more. I heard the click of a trigger from behind me and squeezed my eyes shut,"Never again, never again, they gave us two shots to the back of the head and we're all dead now." a clip of song I knew only too well, danced through my pounding head in a taunting fashion, taking on the mocking tone I've known it' s singer use all too often. Then darkness claimed me as it's own with an eerie finality.

My eyes shot open and I glanced at the flashing red digits of the clock beside me, ugh, 1 am. "Morning Frankie" came a familiar teasing voice from beside me, I cold feel his breath cool on my neck and despite myself I breathed a sigh of relief. Just a dream, a stupid, pointless, completely ridiculous and wholly impossible dream. I shifted my weight slightly and felt his hand tense in mine, stupid hands, that whole dream was their fault. "Mind telling me what the dream was about? You were breathing pretty deep ..." he tailed off giving me a suggestive wink, I flipped him the middle finger and turned away so that he was facing the dark fabric of my shirt, I could feel my face burning, it's not as if I was dreaming about what he was suggesting, that dream had been embarrassing enough thank you very much without added awkwardness. "Frankie, is someone blushing!" he jested in a sing song tone that I until now thought belonged solely to irritating schoolgirls but I guess not. I felt another wave of heat flash over my cheeks and bowed my head slightly, willing myself to dream up a decent reply. His cold hand brushed my no doubt scarlet cheek and I shivered involuntarily. He felt it. But chose for reasons unknown to me not to comment or further my embarrassment. "I'm going for a smoke, wanna come?" he asked tentatively, I nodded and ran a hand through my unusually clean hair, rising from the bed and yanking on a random pair of socks soon followed by Gerard. We tugged on our shoes at the door and stepped quietly into the hall way, I could hear the T.V blaring in the other's room, guess someone was still awake, probably Ray. We didn't pause long enough to tell what he was watching but from the staged screams I'm guessing it was one of his old horror's. Wonder if Mikey's enjoying his sofa bed? We jogged down the stairs and padded through reception, getting weary glares from an ageing receptionist who was playing Pacman on her computer as we stepped onto the car park, blasted by cool night air. Gee handed me a cigarette and we lit up, standing beneath the blinking lights of Al's Motel and being eaten alive by mosquito's. Bloody things they're everywhere, you'd think the smoke would put them off but they must breed them hardy around here, because if anything they seemed more motivated than ever. If nothing else the cold air put an end to my blazing cheeks, I quite liked it out here however scruffy, the street lamps gave the place an orange glow that was kind of cosy, so when Gee decided to head back up to the room, I opted to stay for a while longer, anything to avoid being quizzed on the subject of my dream. Anyway, this seemed as good a place as any to think, so he handed me the packet and the lighter, gave me a fleeting look that suggested he thought I was clinically insane and left for the warmth of our hotel room.

About an hour later, two cigarettes down and none the wiser I decided to return to the room, traipsing through reception and past the grumpy receptionist, who had acquired a glazed look in her eye which I associated with either death or sleep, I'm hoping the latter and up onto our floor. I found our room, room 378, last in the corridor and next door to room 377 where the T'V had finally fallen silent and was now replaced by a chorus of zealous snores. I groped around in my back pocket for the key. Crap. Gerard has the key, I knocked quietly "Gee, let me in, it's me Frankie, I forgot the key." I whispered, no answer. "Gerard. It's Frank. Let me in!" I requested a little louder this time, strongly doubting he was asleep. "Gerard! Let. Me. In!" I yelled drumming on the door angrily, I could hear his laughter echoing within, that little bast*rd! "No can do Frankie, take this as revenge for what you did to my coffee!" he called from behind the door's peeling painted surface. Oh. I thought back to last week, our second day of driving about on Projekt Revolution, I'd poured his coffee out the window whilst he was sleeping and replaced it with this chilli flavoured stuff I'd bought as a cheap prank from the joke shop we'd stopped in earlier that morning. Damn. Talk about extreme punishment! I sighed "I'm sorry Gee okay, I'll make it up to you. Let me in and I'll buy you a Starbucks tomorrow morning?" I suggested hopefully "No way, you are not getting away with it that easily. No man but you Frankie could get away with sabotaging Gerard Way's coffee and live to tell the tale, I hope that offers you some comfort while you sleep on the floor." he teased and I heard his feet pad back to bed "Night sleeping beauty, see you tomorrow." he taunted, leaving me to find a corner to hole up in for the night. Like I was really going to get any sleep curled up on the threadbare carpet of Al's Motel. I let my mind wander once more to those nights not so long ago spent at Gerard's side and soon his voice was replaying in my head "Good choice my friend ... No man but you Frankie ... Night sleeping beauty ..." it chanted in a constant loop. Yep, I'm not getting any sleep tonight ...

4 am

I heard Gee get up inside the room and sooner or later came the tell tale sound of a boiling kettle. "Seriously Gee, coffee, at this hour?" I called through wearily, "Yep!" he exclaimed brightly "That bed's so comfy though, I can't leave it for too long!" he teased much to my dismay, this is quite possibly the worst night's sleep I've ever had, not counting those nights when I had no sleep at all as those were on the most part intentional. After all have you ever seen a man shredding guitar in his sleep? "F*ck off!" I complained grumpily, rubbing at my aching back, his amused chuckle grew quieter as he returned to bed, presumably with a mug of coffee in hand. I could hear him singing faintly to himself and after a minute or two of vain resistance, gave in and joined him "And if I had the guts, to put this to your head. Before I pull this trigger, your eyes vacant and stained, and in saying you loved me, made things harder at best. And these words changing nothing, as your body remains. And there's no room in this hell, there's no room in the next. But does anyone notice there's a corpse in this bed?" we sang under our breath for no apparent reason until Gerard broke off laughing "Frankie wouldn't know if there was a corpse in this bed cause he's on the floor, I could f*ck as many zombies as I liked and he'd be none the wiser." Gee commented to no one in particular, I rolled my eyes though he couldn't see me and continued humming to myself till I heard his breathing regulate and deepen through the thin wooden door. I wriggled around in a desperate attempt to get into a position that wasn't going to cripple me, but in the end I resorted to lying face first on the carpet. This is going to be a long 3 or so hours. I felt something brush past my foot and squeaked quietly, clamping a hand down hard over my mouth to stop myself from being a total girl. Oh great, just great, a cockroach!

I am never f*cking forgetting this.