"the internet killed the video star "

[インターネットがビデオスターを殺した]

an aph facebook fanfiction

DISCLAIMER:

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

Only the Baltics can be considered each other's best friends yet know nothing about each other.

Oh, and by the way - since having the characters respond to your reviews is probably going to become a regular thing, you can directly ask the characters a question or say something to them. Believe me, they'll answer.

YukaiYami. Mmhm. I love reading them, they're hilarious. Most of the chapters in other FB are stand-alone chapters, which mean that each chapter has no significance to the others following or preceding it. So, I'm glad to be one of the very few (if at all first) to do so. Haha, yes it is. XD I just HAD to make that connection to chapter 8. Brynja Stilesson: Can't tell us apart... I can fix that. Here's how Akane does it: Andersen Densen is Denmark. There are two ways to remember this. The first way is that Densen starts with a D, and so does Denmark. Akane remembers it before of Hans Christian Andersen, the Danish author most famous for his fairytales. Next, Maiken Bondevik is Norway. Akane remembers this because M is next to the letter N in the alphabet. Also, both the Ns in Maiken's name are the 6th and 9th letters. ... Just noticed that. Anyway. I, Brynja, am Iceland. How she remembers this is kinda odd, but it works. Iceland, although it's not a frigid wasteland, sounds like a cold place. Cold is usually associated with the color blue. The name Brynja reminds Akane of blue, because according to her, the "Bryn" part of my name sounds cold. Also, Brynja means "armour", and metal is cold to the touch - like ice. SuperA n Twch. Andersen Densen: You liked the lollipop thing? So did I. I was cracking up for a good five minutes after that all concluded. Oh God, Amelia's sister is just a little naive, ain't she? :) ^_^ I personally enjoyed the Pokemen reference bit because of its subtle hints at Arthur x Lovino. It's becoming a guilty pleasure couple of mine, ever so slowly. Oh, here: Andersen is Denmark, Brynja is Iceland, and Maiken is Norway. In the response above yours, I have ways to remember them, if that helps out at all. andthenshesaid. Hah. Not for me. I like heat and beaches and sun too much. [/is NOT a winter person] HAHA. I figured that since Arthur and Amelia clash so much, and Maiken is a lot like Arthur, that they would clash too. I think I'm pronouncing it wrong too. For some reason, I like doubling the "AI" part of her name, so it comes out like "my-AY-kin", when I think it's supposed to be "MY-kin". Maiken Bondevik: DenNor? What DenNor? You say that like I would actually like the bastard... [/scoffs] Anyway... I hope you continue to enjoy this particular arc. MarothePanda. Well, I'm certainly glad I managed to make you laugh. Gilbert Beilschmidt: Oh, you have suggestions? Let's hear 'em. ... Kesesesese~ they're frickin' awesome. Favorite's the first one. But you know awesome people do have awesome hats. Like my black-and-white fedora! It's got a yellow feather on it! [/places it on Maro's head] Hah! You look so fucking cute, I can't stand it. XD Rina B. Amelia F. Jones: Tch, I know right? Maiken's a little bitch. [/grumbles] Well, least Mattie TRIED to help me out but still - she's just jealous she's not with someone as sexy as Artie. He may deny it, but please - he is SO mine. ;) Pairings? Actually, there aren't a lot of real pairings right about now, but these are all the ones I've included/hinted at so far: UKCan (Arthur x Matilda), FrUKUS (Jeanette x Arthur x Amelia), PruCan (Gilbert x Matilda), FrSpain (Jeanette x Spain), Spamano (Antonio x Lovino), Edelswiss (Renate x Chantal), AusHun (Elizabeta x Renate), NiChu (Kiku x Yao), DenNor (Andersen x Maiken) and SuFin (Berwald x Tino). But that's for now, they'll probably increase later on. If you have any pairings you want to see, tell me and I'll see what I can do, okay? :) phomma-chan. Arthur Kirkland: Love, sorry to "rain on your parade" but... there was NOTHING calm about that fiasco. And to think Akane insists on making us go back... I'm not looking forward to it lass, but I do hope you adore reading about our adventure into Hell and back. And besides, we high school students go watch marathons of Saw and Scream when we're not out partying till 2 AM, remember? (Haha, that is NOT me at all.) Really? Junior-going-on-senior, so I can't exactly attest to you currently. Well, of course Tino's the wife - when compared to Berwald, I don't think anyone can top him. Well... maybe Gilbert. But that's only because Gilbert can't usually deal with bottoming (it makes him feel contained and trapped). LOL, most likely. I have to think of it, although I did get a pretty good idea from someone. FranceGirl. Jeanette Bonnefoy: Ah, if it isn't my little lovely doppleganger. Hello~ The Nordics ARE interesting, aren't they? From the little tidbit of gossip I have already received from Gilbert, I think I need to keep an eye on them... especially Andersen. [/giggles] Trembling Trio? That's funny - the second you asked for that, the rest of this chapter appeared. It's like I magically summoned them through the floor or something... how weird, right? XD

... Dang it, me and my ridiculously long replies. Well. At least you can't get mad at me for NOT replying.

session fifteen :: thanks for the memories [fall out boy]

- august 11th

(Mobile) Laima Laurinaitis || Eduard von Bock: Studying?

Eduard von Bock: You say that like you expect something different. :) And where are you?

Laima Laurinaitis: Dairy Queen with Madara.

Eduard von Bock: Ah. Mind bringing me back a Reese's Blizzard?

Laima Laurinaitis: Oh, of course not. Why do you always get that?

Eduard von Bock: Because, it's my favorite... and I've never been inclined to try anything else...

Laima Laurinaitis: Right. I knew that. I was just testing you. But yeah, I'll get it for you...

Ivan Braginski || Madara Galante: Dara~ Can I ask you something?

Madara Galante: ... What is it?

Ivan Braginski: Do you look up to me?

Madara Galante: I kinda have to... -_-

Ivan Braginski: Oh right, I had forgotten that you're short. Do not worry, I can fix that~

Madara Galante: H-how...

Ivan Braginski: Stilts, Dara! Ooh, or we could try the stretching thing again. Which idea do you like better?

Madara Galante: Neither!

Ivan Braginski: Oh, I know~ what about a steam-roller? That always works in the cartoons, da? I'll just run you over with it, and you'll be taller in no time~!

Ivan Braginski: Is wondering why he can get a steam-roller from. :)

(Mobile) Laima Laurinaitis: I-Ivan! You can't run Madara over with a steam-roller!

Ivan Braginski: And why not~? I thought I could do as I wished.

Laima Laurinaitis: Y-You'll k-kill her!

Ivan Braginski: Oh, no, that would be bad.

Ivan Braginski: Can I use it on Amelia?

[Maiken Bondevik and 3 others like this]

Amelia F. Jones: NO!

Maiken Bondevik: YES.

(Mobile) Matilda Williams: No, don't.

Yao Wang: Murder is a sin only if I'm the one committing it.

Amelia F. Jones: Et tu, Yao? Traitorous bastard!

[Kiku Honda and 5 others like this]

Laima Laurinaitis: NO! That's horrible! You freaked Madara out so bad, she fainted in her banana split!

Ivan Braginski: Oh, did she now? Can you send me a picture?

Laima Laurinaitis: WHY do you want a picture?

Ivan Braginski: Because Dara looks so pretty when she's sleeping... ^_^

[Edward von Bock likes this]

Laima Laurinaitis: ...

Yao Wang: Seriously? -_-

Ivan Braginski: Don't get jealous, Yao-Yao. You do too. :)

Yao Wang: DON'T CALL ME THAT. EVER. You damn creeper.

[Feliciano Vargas and 6 others like this]

(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland: Don't get all upset, Yao-Yao.

Yao Wang: Oh, go to hell.

Ivan Braginski || (Mobile) Madara Galante: I'm sorry I scared you Dara. :( I didn't mean it.

Madara Galante: ... What am I supposed to say to that? "It's okay"?

Ivan Braginski: Actually, Madara, that's EXACTLY what you're supposed to say to me.

Madara Galante: ... Okay. It's okay.

Madara Galante: I forgive you. Completely forgive you.

Ivan Braginski: Oh, stop it, you're making me blush~

Ivan Braginski: How about this? I'll make it up to you. It will just be me, you, and this here bottle of vodka. So? What do you say~?

Madara Galante: O_O W-What are you suggesting...

Ivan Braginski: Oh, c'mon Dara, it will be fun, da? Just you and me.

Madara Galante: ... Really...

Ivan Braginski: Really. :) You know you want to~

Madara Galante: Fine. I'll come over. But on two conditions.

Ivan Braginski: What are they~?

Madara Galante: One, is Nikita there? And two - I want to study.

Ivan Braginski: No, she's not. And of course we can study, Dara~! I'll help you!

Madara Galante: ... Kay...

Eduard von Bock || (Mobile) Madara Galante: Hey.

Madara Galante: Hey.

Eduard von Bock: Still out with Laima?

Madara Galante: Actually... no. I'm - I'm going to meet Ivan. We're going to study.

Eduard von Bock: Oh. I was wondering if you could come visit me, but since you're busy... dealing with Ivan...

Madara Galante: Um... yeah. Yeah. I'll see you later.

Madara Galante: Oh, and Laima has your Blizzard.

Eduard von Bock: Lovely.

(Mobile) Madara Galante || Ivan Braginski: You lied to me!

Ivan Braginski: No I didn't. Nikita wasn't home. And we did study. I studied you. And you studied me. :)

Madara Galante: I meant actual schoolwork! Not you... trying to seduce me...

Ivan Braginski: I thought you liked me, Dara. :(

Madara Galante: Not like THAT!

Ivan Braginski: Oh, Dara, but I like YOU.

Madara Galante: ... Ivan...

Ivan Braginski: I was trying to say that when I kissed you. But I should have just said it, da? I scared you. :(

Madara Galante: ... Can I message you later? I just got into heavy traffic.

Ivan Braginski: Oh, dasvidanya. Es tevi milu. :3

(Mobile) Madara Galante || Laima Laurinaitis: Ivan said he loved me. In Latvian.

Laima Laurinaitis: It's called Google Translate. I could have figured out how to say that.

Madara Galante: S-So, he's just using me?

Laima Laurinaitis: I didn't want to... I didn't mean to say it like that. It's just... Ivan's an attention addict.

Madara Galante: Okay...

Laima Laurinaitis: He likes attention, and when he finds someone that catches his attention, he'll do whatever he can to keep them where he wants them. Eduard and I know.

Madara Galante: H-How... what does he do to you?

Laima Laurinaitis: No, i-it's not exactly what's your thinking... it's not... he doesn't FORCE himself on us, physically, I mean... it's mental. W-We just, We're just enamored with him - I mean, no, we hate him, but when he doesn't want us to hate him, we don't. We can't help it. I mean, I'll sit there, and I'll repeat to myself that I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, but I don't, Madara. I can't. I'll stare into those pretty purple eyes of his and I'll love him, I'll want to marry him, but I CAN'T, I HATE him, he's childish and cruel and abusive and... it's hell. It's like he's trapped me in hell, and I can't get out. And it's like, whenever I try to get away from him, he just finds me again. It's the same with Eduard... even though Ed's a GUY and I don't even want to imagine THAT... but... that's Ivan for you. Or at least, as much of him as I can figure out...

Madara Galante: Laima? ... I - You're okay, right?

Laima Laurinaitis: Fine. Why do you ask?

Madara Galante: Laima... I'm sorry... I didn't know...

Laima Laurinaitis: Now you do. So when he sucks you down into his whirlpool of psychoticness at least you know what you're getting into, Dara.

Madara Galante: DON'T call me Dara. H-He does.

Laima Laurinaitis: Okay. I won't call you Dara, and you don't call me Laitiana.

Madara Galante: ... Deal.

special agent akane: "I have written a wicked book, yet feel as spotless as the lamb." know who that quote's from? Because for some ridiculously strange reason, that's how I feel after writing this. Odd, isn't it?

[special agent akane has logged off]