AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!
The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. (Spray painted? Like how Banksy spray paints Bristol and the Gaza strip? This must be the first time she hasn't put on makeup)
In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal (Available from Asda[!] We don't have Count Chocula in the UK) with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top. (It would ruin your black top)
"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. (Here comes the obligatory clothing description, just so you know for sure he's a goth) He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face (Don't you hate it when kohl eyeliner does that? Especially in the summer? But it's probably snowing and raining again) and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore (No, don't do this to my childhood!). He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden (No, he does not). He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. (No, because you need a penis to get an erection, and you are a girl. You're the sick one for mentioning it in the first place)
"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.
"That's all right. (You just screamed at him and called him a bastard, and now you've forgiven him? Probably because he looks like Joel from Good Charlotte and your man-erection thing is telling you this is where your next fuck is coming from) What's your name?" I questioned.
"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. (He goes from shy to grumbly in 0.5 seconds)
"Why?" I exclaimed.
"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. (This reminds me of Bashful from Snow White, "Ooooh, gosh!" And Harry would never giggle)
"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.
"Really?" he whimpered.
"Yeah." I roared. (Because you're Simba? Is there Pride Rock in the Great Hall? Ooh, is Dumbledore Mufasa, and Snape Scar?)
We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. (His penis is the surprise, isn't it?)