A/N: Hello everyone it's been quite a while since I've written anything, I'm really sorry for that T^T I had more writer's block and to be honest nothing gets rid of writer's block better than writing parodies, and I know everyone's been looking forward to more chapters of this so here you are! I have a lot of projects on my plate, including work and things, but I'll try to bang out at least a couple more chapters of this before disappearing again. Keep up the reviews because I love them and I love you all for being so patient with me! (also reviews make me feel obligated to write more, so they're a win-win for everyone) Anyway please enjoy :D
Chapter 2: In Which Together Everyone's Acronyms Suck
Link never got the chance to show Chibi anything, because all the villagers had been turned to statues.
"MY BAAAAAAAABEEEEES!" Link wailed, clutching at Kushi's statued form. While he was busy lamenting, Chibi got to business making the sun come out because it was too dark. Apparently, this made all the villagers come back to life, and there was much rejoicing. Chibi then helped Mushi's mama defeat some rascally imps and restore her scarecrow, and then dug up some of her turnips as payment.
"Yuuuuuum," he said, quickly running away before Mushi's mama could smack him.
"Okay Chibi, I guess we need to find you a partner or whatever, because apparently I'm not good enough," said Link, who had been similarly chased away by Susano. "Preferably someone who can help slice open that huge rock in the middle of the road, cuz I can only blow wind at it."
All of a sudden, a little girl burst into tears.
"Woah, hey, what's with the waterworks, huh?" Link said, but the girl didn't respond.
"You made her cry," said Chibi.
"What? No I didn't! I—"
"Rascals!" piped a squeaky little voice, and they both turned to look up at a red-faced kid flailing around a sword on the top of Susano's house. "I, Kuni, won't forgive you for making a girl cry!"
"I DIDN'T MAKE HER CRY!" Link shouted. "All I did was say something about a huge stupid rock—"
The girl renewed her bawling even louder.
"Okay, that makes me look bad now, but I swear I wasn't even talking to the chick!"
"Never fear!" The little boy ignored Link and leapt to the ground, swinging his toy sword haphazardly. "I'll defeat whoever did this to you!"
The girl kept crying, and everyone looked at each other awkwardly.
"So, uh...what happened?" Kuni said.
"Demons attacked me…in Shinshu Field," she hiccupped. "I was so scared I dropped my mirror, and now I'll never get it back again!"
"Mirror?" Link scoffed.
"It's all I have left of my precious, long-departed mother!" the little girl said, giving Link a sour glare before hastily covering her face in her sleeves again. "You'll help me, won't you?"
"D-Demons?" Kuni stuttered. "Well, uh, I mean, of course I'll help you! Ahaha, what's the son of the greatest warrior ever good for, right?"
"Hey, looks like we found you a new partner, Chibi," said Link.
"He's not very brave…" Chibi noted. "Also is it really okay to send two kids alone to fight demons?"
"They do it all the time in YA novels," Link shrugged. Chibi wasn't sure what YA novels were since he'd only ever read his mother's fanfiction, but whatever they were they sounded pretty legit.
"Hi Kuni I'm your new best friend," Chibi said.
"Wait this mutt is my partner?" said Kuni. "Well, I dunno. You don't look very strong. I don't want you to get in my way when I'm killing demons, got that?"
"I'm not a mutt, I'm a god," Chibi replied, a little hurt. "And I'm probably more competent than you."
"So, uh, this way!" Kuni pointed his sword back toward Konohana. "Let's go to the shrine to pray for victory!" He tripped and Chibi snickered.
"It's probably only because you're scared," he said, "but okay."
They entered the River of the Heavens under Sakuya's tree and were met by a series of puzzles involving buttons and bridges that could only withstand the weight of one kid. They also found a weird penguin statue which turned out to be constellation. Three adorable baby penguins
"Are there even any penguins in Japan?" Chibi whispered to Kuni, but he only replied, "Huh?"
"We are the young Michigami, and hold the brush power of teamwork!" the baby penguins burbled. "Teamwork, which means…" The middle penguin looked to its siblings. "What does it mean again?"
"Together Everyone Absolves Murder?" said the one on the left.
"No, I think it's Teaching Everyone About Mulching."
"What about Tearful Endings Affect Men?"
"No, no, it includes 'everyone', I know that much at least…Ah! Together Everyone Achieves Money!"
"Are you sure that's it?" Chibi asked doubtfully.
"Pretty positive," said the Young Michigami. "In any case, this brush power allows you to work as a team!"
"Cool," said Chibi. "I like money."
They continued on their way, tackling more complicated teamwork puzzles as they went.
"How would anyone else get to the Cave of Nagi if the bridges can't even hold up two kids?" Kuni said.
"I think the more important question is how anyone could have done these puzzles without teamwork," said Chibi, who seemed to equate teamwork with money. After an inordinate amount of puzzles and wobbly bridges they made it to the Cave of Nagi and earned another brush power for their work.
"Hey we could probably cut down that huge stupid rock your dad put up," said Chibi.
"What? Oh yeah I guess we could," Kuni said, sweating. "That means we've got to go out into Shinshu Field, huh? I mean, not that I'm scared to or anything…"
"Right."
Susano was still being stupid about his stupid rock which he was so proud of for having put up in the first place, so Kuni had the grand idea of getting him drunk with his mom's sake and then slicing the rock open while his dad was asleep.
"Wait, why did I do that?" he cried after Chibi stepped out into Shinshu Field. "If the rock was still there we wouldn't have to fight the demons!"
Chibi snickered. His new partner was kind of stupid sometimes.
"A-Anyway, let's get going, Mutt!" Kuni said, pointing his sword straight ahead. "For honor!"
"And teamwork!" Chibi added, bounding toward Hana Valley.