Sorry about all the Wes Anderson references but I'm a huge fan. I absolutely adore his movies.
Okay this chapter became a bit too long but it felt like it needed to stay together so whatever. My story got longer than I thought it would be. I hope you're hanging in there. I got most of it down on my computer now, I'm proofreading it as fast as I can and getting it cut in to chapters. I'll be back and meanwhile... happy reading!
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On her way down to meet the ambulance Liv tried to get a hold of Fin. He didn't answer since he sat in interview and he missed the buzzing on his belt for some reason. Liv called Cragen instead who pulled Fin out and the two made a very nerve wrecking car ride over to Amanda's apartment. No one said anything and Cragen drove faster than he'd driven in a very long time. Driving that fast made him need to focus on the traffic a 100% which suited him fine right there and then. Fin on the other hand did nothing but think of Amanda and how he should have prevented this from happening. As they got closer to her apartment he was ready to burst and hit the roof of the car with his fist a couple of times to release some tension. They drove up just as the paramedics came down with Amanda on a stretcher. Fin rushed to her side. She was hidden below a mask and numerous lines. Her forehead taped to pads beside her head to secure her neck. Her eyes were closed. She was so pale he thought and he could see blood smeared on her white skin.
He grabbed her arm carefully and squeezed as hard as he dared to. He walked along the stretcher until they reached the buss where he stepped off to not be in the way. –Where are you taking her? He asked one of the paramedics. –Queens. He got a short but sufficient answer. –She'll make it right? It was a weird question for him to ask, he usually didn't show his emotions so bluntly. It was out of character and he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. Unfortunately he didn't get any spoken answer at all. He just got a look from the paramedic, a look that said 'I can't promise you that'. The back doors slammed shut, the ambulance drove off and Fin was left with the most devastating feeling in his gut.
Fin turned around and met the eyes of his coworkers. Cragen, Nick and Olivia were gathered on the sidewalk. A sidewalk that now was busy with officers and crime scene investigators making their way in and out of the building. Fin walked over to them. He immediately saw the blood on Nick's pants. And all over his hands too. Cragen followed Fin's eyes and as he too saw the blood covering the young detective he quickly handed him the handkerchief he always kept in his inner pocket. Nick took it and tried to get the blood off his hands. Olivia couldn't stop looking at Fin. Her eyes were tear filled and she felt lightheaded.
–She has a head wound. Lost some blood. Looks like she's been down for quite some time. Cragen told Fin who still kept his eyes on the blood on Nick's hands. Cragen had lied. She'd lost a lot of blood. –She still has a pulse though and Nick gave her air. Cragen put a 'good job' hand on Nick's shoulder. Fin managed to look up at his captain. He then turned his head to Olivia. He wondered if he too looked as scared as she did. When Fin met her eye Liv felt a tear slip down her cheek. She wiped it quickly and swallowed. She felt like giving Fin a hug but she was unable to move at the moment.
–You did everything you could. You did a good job. She heard Cragen say. –She'll pull through and we're gonna get whoever did this to her. –We know who did it. Liv whispered. –What? Cragen hadn't heard her but Nick had and things started to fall into place about the last day's strange behavior in the squad room. Liv turned her head to Cragen and repeated what she'd just said but with a firmer voice. –What are you telling me? Cragen looked at her with interrogating eyes. –We don't know his name but we have a photo of him. Amanda knows who it is but she won't tell us. She was assaulted Tuesday night. Brought into the emergency room unconscious. We got the call after they found her badge. She woke up before we got there, refused treatment. We talked to the people who brought her in. They spooked a guy from the scene. He'd beaten her and would have raped her if they hadn't gotten there. We got the footage from a street camera, Fin showed her the photo but she still wouldn't tell us. Liv was surprised that she was able to talk so strongly and coherent. She didn't feel like that at all. While she spoke Cragen's face had grown flushed. She knew him well enough by now to know he was very angry. And rightfully so.
–And you didn't bring this to me? He asked between clinched teeth. Liv shook her head. –She didn't want to report it. We didn't know what to do. –And now she might die. You should have known better. You're both senior detectives. How many cases haven't you worked where the victim didn't want to report a crime and she ends up dead? You… He was fuming but Nick still dared to interrupt him. –With all due respect sir I don't think there's anything you can say right now that they aren't thinking already. Nick bit his tongue with that and kept his eyes on the captain ready to take any heat that might come his way. But Cragen just looked at him and then finally nodded. –You're right Nick. Let's focus on Amanda right now. We have a photo then and I'm sure she'll give us something else to go on. She's not the kind of girl that gives up without a fight. I'm gonna go to the hospital. Do you want to ride with me Fin? The senior detective managed to nod at the offer. –What do you want to do? Do you want to come along too? Cragen turned to the other two. Liv seemed unable to speak so Nick did. –I want to have a look on something I saw up there. I'll drive over afterwards. Do you want to come with me Olivia? He turned to her and got a nod. –Okay then. I'll see you a little later then. Common Fin.
Cragen turned to leave and Fin started to but Olivia stopped him by throwing her arms around the big man. She buried her face into his strong chest and held on to him for dear life. Fin managed to get his arms around her waist and tried to invest as much in the hug as she did. He felt numb though. Unable to give a 100 % on anything right now. She felt his arms though and it was all she needed right now. If Amanda didn't pull through though she'd need more than anyone could give her. But she couldn't think like that right now. –I'll see you in a little while. She whispered, let go of him and immediately walked over to the front door of Amanda's apartment building. Nick hurried after her. Fin turned to Cragen who was waiting just yards away. They got in the car and drove to the nearest emergency room. On the drive over Cragen got Fin to tell him what they knew so far about Amanda's attacker. At the hospital they were in for a long wait until they got the final verdict on Amanda's state. All they got meanwhile from passing nurses was 'her heart is still beating' or 'she's a fighter'. Fin already knew that last part.
Olivia and Nick went back up to the fifth floor. An officer was guarding the door but let them in without them having to flash their badges. He knew their faces. Two crime scene investigators were going through the apartment. The first one was aided by an officer and working on prints on the door case. They went into the bedroom where they found the other one. A flash went off just as they entered and Liv saw the light hit the blood pool on the floor. Amanda's blood. A bigger pool where her head had been and then smeared out down her back. Liv got a flashback to when the paramedics with the help of Nick had lifted her over to the stretcher. She'd been paralyzed by the door right where she was standing now. Amanda's bloodstained hair had been dangling underneath her. A single drop gone down a strand and back to join the puddle on the floor. Like it longed for its peers. –Olivia? Nick said carefully so not to spook her. He could tell she'd drifted off in her thoughts. Liv looked up and gave him a misplaced smile. It disappeared quickly. She'd missed Nick's question to the investigator but now heard the answer.
–I think she hit her head here. The man pointed to a spot on the footboard. Nick could see the blood and it fitted with her body placement. –Anything to go on? Nick asked and got a nod in return. –My partner have fingerprints all over the door and I think I have some on the footboard that's too large to be the victims. Nick could tell by the material the investigator had put out below the bed he was testing for other things too. –Semen? Nick asked with a lowered voice. The investigator nodded. –Fresh? It felt weird to ask. He didn't know anything about Amanda's sex life, nor was it his business, but it was a question he was used to asking. The investigator nodded again. Olivia had finally been able to move from her spot by the door and took a closer look on the footboard. Nick moved towards the closet meanwhile. That's where he thought he saw something earlier. He still had Cragen's handkerchief in his hand and he used it now to push the door open. He figured he must have closed it after he'd cleared the closet not long ago. He wasn't sure. Things had been hectic to say the least. He saw what he was after and got Olivia's attention.
–Look at this. He said. –A lock on the closet. Liv thought and said out loud. –On the inside. He specified. –And down here. He pointed. –Another one. Liv said. –She had double chains on the door. The investigator filled in. Nick had slipped inside and came out carrying a bag and a water bottle as Olivia approached.
–A survival kit. Water. He said and held it up for her. –It's like a panic room home edition. Nick thought out loud. –And I don't think it's made for neither earth quakes nor tornados. He added. Liv nodded. –We figured she knew him from before. Liv said and then both of them went silent as they got lost in their own thoughts about who this man could be. An abusive former boyfriend was the most likely scenario but Liv wasn't sure it was that simple.
By the time the doctor finally came out to talk to them Liv and Nick had arrived at the hospital too. It had been a long and nerve wrecking wait for Fin and Cragen. Pacing the corridor, the waiting room being too small and clustered for Fin to bare. All four of them eagerly met the doctor as soon as it was obvious he was coming to them with information. He wore green scrubs. Blood stained on his front and some on his sleeves were the gloves had ended. -I can't tell you yet if she'll pull through or not. She has a serious head injury. He went on to give them the medical mumbo jumbo that none of them fully grasped except for the 'her brain is swollen', that they might have to drill into her skull and that any of it wasn't good. -We have her in a drug induced coma. We're helping her breath. The next 24 hours will be critical. We won't know until she wakes up if she got permanent brain damage or not. The doctor had let his eyes wonder to and from each of them and now landed on Cragen who was the first to ask a question.
-I should call her parents? Get them here? The doctor nodded in agreement. -How about sexual assault? Liv had to ask. The doctor turned his head to her and nodded. -We haven't done a rape kit yet but she got injuries, contusions starting to show on her inner thighs that would indicate a sexual assault. You want us to do a rape kit or are you sending over one of your teams? Liv turned her head to Cragen expecting him to make the decision. -We need DNA. I'll get a forensic unit over. We need to do nails and everything. You haven't cleaned her right? The doctor shook his head. Cragen just nodded. -Any other injuries? Liv asked. -Well it looks like she got some old injuries... Liv interrupted him by nodding. -She was attacked three days ago. Lacerations on arms, back and face. Bruised knuckles. It was the doctors time to nod. -Yeah. That explains it. No to be honest she's in, no disrespect intended, good condition. There's the contusions on her lower parts, some around her upper arms and wrists and around her neck but then there's nothing else than what looks like one big blow to the back of her head. -She hit the footboard. Nick told him. The doctor just looked at him, having his theory but knowing not to give it to the police until he was asked for it.
-Can you tell us when she got attacked? Cragen asked. -Not exactly. Not my expertise but she'd been down a while. Seeing how she wasn't breathing on her own you found her in the nick of time. -Can we see her? Liv asked. The doctor gave Cragen a look before he went back to Olivia. -She's still in ICU I'm not sure you should... -Please, we'll be quick. I just want to see her. She couldn't explain it but she felt a need to see her. The doctor looked to Cragen again who gave him a nod. -Okay. But just a short visit. We need to get her upstairs, she needs all the peace and quiet she can get right now. The doctor took the lead to go back in. Liv, Nick and Cragen came right behind him but Liv stopped as soon as she realized Fin wasn't following. He'd been quiet since she got there. She'd never seen him so frail before. She took a step back to him. -You wanna wait outside? She asked and got him to look at her. He looked lost. When he didn't answer she walked all the way back to him and gently grabbed him by the arm. -Common let's go see her before we nail this bastard. She said and pulled him with her. Nick and Cragen let them pass and they all followed the doctor to the room Amanda had been brought to when she first was rolled in.
There were still a few nurses in there and the doctor waved at them to step aside for just a while. One of the nurses quickly pulled the sheet up which was only covering her lower regions. They had cut the top of her once she arrived and she was completely nude. -Don't take too long. The doctor said and then left them. Liv was the first one who stepped forward. She'd let Fin go. The florescent light made Amanda's skin even paler and the blood even more evident. The black and white tiles underneath the table she was on was soaked in blood. Her head was bundled up with white gauze. A tube went down her throat and was connected to a breathing machine. It was making a wheezing sound every time it went up and then a sighing sound when it went down again. Amanda's chest raised with every sighing. Another machine was attached to her chest and to one of her fingers and were beeping with what Liv figured was her heartbeat. She had wires connected to her arms too. It didn't look good at all. Liv had reached her table and just very carefully placed her palm over her bare shoulder. She could now see the contusions forming on her arms and neck. She hadn't seen them at the apartment. She'd seen the ones on her thighs though. She'd seen those too many times already. And she recognized the ones now slowly getting more prominent on her upper body. Someone had held her down, someone had put his hand around her throat and squeezed.
Liv bent forward. -Hang in there Amanda. Be strong. Just keep fighting okay? She whispered and felt her own voice quiver. Nick and Cragen stepped up on the other side of the table. Liv stood up again and removed her hand. Cragen warily touched her forehead and let his hand slide down to her cheek.
-Hey Amanda. This is your captain speaking. You better hang in there you hear. You hang in there. He removed his hand and quickly went over to the door since he felt emotions taking over that he was afraid he couldn't stop if he kept looking at his injured detective. Nick stepped up and just touched her face briefly. He didn't know what to say. She looked if possible even worse than when they found her in her bedroom. The memory of himself blowing air into her came rushing back. He hoped it had helped in some way. Liv turned to look at Fin who lingered a few steps behind her. She reached her hand out to get him to step forward. He did so after some slight hesitation. Nick stepped away as Liv got her arm around Fin and helped him take that last step up to Amanda's table. Liv felt a tear go down her cheek but she didn't care to wipe it away this time. Fin just stared down Amanda's face.
A nurse in her 50s stepped up on the other side of the table. Liv looked up at her and got a comforting smile from her. -She's resting peacefully right now. The nurse said with a soft voice. -She was in distress when she got in here but we've given her plenty of pain medicine so she's resting now. The nurse held her hand over Amanda's breathing tube. -We're giving her air and helping her breath so she doesn't have to bother with that right now. She can focus on healing. The nurse moved her hand down to her chest and both Liv and Fin followed her hand with their eyes. -Her heartbeat and blood pressure are just perfect. She moved her hand to Amanda's arm and continued. -She's getting new blood into her system and a solution with antibiotics and nutrition to keep her strong. The nurse moved her hand up to Amanda's head again and slowly stroked her forehead. -It's her head that's a concern right now. But we think that the swelling of her brain has stopped. She kept herself alive for many hours which indicates she's a fearless fighter and we're doing everything in our power to help her through this battle. The nurse put her hands down to her sides again.
Liv gave her a thankful nod. She wanted to thank her but couldn't trust her own voice. She felt overwhelmed and had to get out of there. She rushed passed Cragen as she went out the doors. Nick went after her while Cragen waited for Fin. -She won't break. The nurse said softly to Fin before she too removed herself from the table. He hated feeling powerless and that's how he felt right now. He leaned forward and placed his lips on her forehead at the same time as he placed his soft hand on her arm. Then he put his own forehead against hers and just took a few deep breaths. -Don't you give up on me you hear? He whispered. -Don't you dare give up on me. He stood up again and looked at her for a while. Then he turned and walked over to Cragen. -We need to put detail on her. He might come back for her. He said with a all business voice and Cragen nodded as they both headed out of there.