"Sorry about that," Liv said as she sat down again. Bonnie uncrossed her arms and put them around her purse again.
"So about Justine, she's still at the open unit?" Bonnie nodded at Liv's question. "Where?" Bonnie gave her the name of a place outside Pittsburgh.
"And how long has she been there?"
"It's coming up on almost a year now. She's doing really good. She has her own place. But on the grounds of the institution though. She gets therapy and medication."
"How long has she been off drugs?"
"When she was diagnosed she was clean but she had a few setbacks during the years. The drugs have always been an easy escape for her. We've tried different treatment facilities. This last one is the only one that stuck. Before the open unit she was at their closed facility, detoxing and all. So it's at least a year and a half clean now."
"Good for her," Liv smiled at Bonnie and for the first time got a smile back from her. Liv got touched by just how much she reminded her about Amanda when she smiled. Nick saw it too.

"Do you get to visit her?" Liv asked and Bonnie nodded.
"Every month I fly up. They don't want me coming more often. And I've been to the special arrangements they have. The art exhibitions with their art therapy group, they have family week and I've gone their course to learn more about the disorder and to be supportive."
"How about you sir? Do you visit?" Liv turned to Jack. Jack nodded but again Bonnie intervened.
"Twice. In a year. Once for family week and once for a group family session. That's all. He didn't show up for the other family sessions," she looked at him with disgust.
"Does Amanda visit?" Liv tried to derail Bonnie's hostility even if she to be honest didn't mind him being subjected to it. Bonnie nodded.
"Yes she sees her every month too, and the special arrangements. We've had four family sessions since Justine got to the open unit. Amanda drives there now when she's here in New York. I'm not sure how I'm going to tell Justine about this. Well about the head injury, I won't tell her about…" Bonnie was unable to say it.

"But you still don't think Amanda would have confided something to Justine?" Liv was curious. Bonnie shook her head.
"Amanda is very protective of her sister. She does not want to upset her. It was very hard for Amanda when Justine started doing drugs. She lost her sister in a way. Her rock. Justine changed. Became unpredictable. Well more so than she usually was. She would say she'd come pick her up to go see a movie or something but she never came. Amanda didn't say anything but I could tell it hurt her. And then when she joined the police it became even more troublesome since Amanda would have to report her and…" Bonnie stopped dead sentence.
"Well it was just troublesome for both of them I guess. And Amanda would take it so hard every time her sister relapsed. We've, me and Jack, tried tough-love and we've been called enablers and I don't know what else in the book. But it's hard being a relative to an addict. Amanda's approach has always been soft, even after she became a police. She's always been very sensitive to her sister's needs. We just deal with it differently. I can't say what's right or wrong."

Liv knew all too well about being a relative to an addict. She would not put blame on anyone in this case.
"Do you know if Justine's still in contact with any of her old friends from Columbus? The wrong kind of people as you put it?" Bonnie shook her head.
"No she's cut all connections to that now. The only friends she has now are the ones at the institution and just one or two from her childhood."
"But when she has relapsed have she gone back to the same group of friends?" Bonnie took a few seconds and then nodded.
"You see because we have a photo of a suspect. The one that attacked Amanda two nights ago. It's a street camera so the picture isn't that good but when we sent it to the Atlanta police some people in the narcotics unit recognized the face but we still don't have a name. Would you mind taking a look at it?" Bonnie looked at Jack with some fear on her face. He met her eyes and then they both looked at Liv. Bonnie nodded slightly. Liv pulled the photo from the case file, turned it and put it in front of them on the table. The reaction came immediately.

All detectives, even the ones behind the window, jumped as Bonnie let out a shriek that was felt to the core. Even the father reacted. It almost looked like he would fall flat on the table but he stopped just inches from the photo and his fist fell down next to it. The mother went silent as she covered both mouth and eyes with her hands. She hadn't look at the photo more than a few seconds. There was no question they knew this person. Bonnie started sobbing underneath her hands. Jack finally managed to pull his eyes away and planted his elbows on the table and then his face in his hands.
"Do you know this man?" Liv asked carefully. Bonnie nodded almost violently behind her hands.
"Can you tell me who he is?" Liv felt both excitement and fear. Excited that they could get a name and arrest someone but also fear to hear just who this man was to the Rollins family.

Bonnie seemed unable to speak and so far Jack hadn't been so reliable to do so. But now he turned his head slightly up, still not looking at them though, and said very quietly:
"Eric Salinger." Nick quickly wrote the name down even though no one would forget it.
"And who is he?" Liv tried.
"Justine's boyfriend. The one that introduced her to drugs," he said just as quietly.
"And why would he come for Amanda?" he didn't answer and Bonnie started shaking her head.
"Are you okay Bonnie?" Liv knew they wouldn't get anywhere if they closed down now.
"Bonnie?" Liv tried again.
"No, I'm not okay. I need to see my daughter," she let down her hands, face striped by tears. "Now. I need to see her now," she stood up and her purse fell to the floor.
"We'll take you to your daughter soon Bonnie. Right now your daughter needs you here. Amanda needs you to talk to us," Liv was good at this. Calming people down. She reached Bonnie with those simple words and as she sat down again Nick helped her with her purse. Bonnie calmed down quickly as she sat down. It wouldn't last though.

"Why would Eric rape Amanda?" Strangely it felt good to Liv to be able to put his name in to that sentence. They had a name. A person to hold accountable for what had happen. Bonnie looked like she was contemplating something.
"Cause…"
"Bonnie!" Jack interrupted her as soon as she started. Jack was breathing hard. He looked scared, even more so than before. Bonnie turned her head to him and then the storm of emotions flooded back.
"You. This is all your fault. You did this," she screamed while letting her palms hit his arm and head and everything else she could reach. Jack just did his best to cover his face, she wasn't a strong woman so he didn't have much to fear from her. Her words were probably more hurtful than any punch she could throw.
"Hey hey," Liv said and stood up and reached out to Bonnie. She managed to get her to stop slapping him but she kept talking while sobbing.
"My mother always said you were no good. This is your fault."
"What is Jack's fault?" Liv asked while sitting back down.
"He…"
"Bonnie!" again he interrupted.
"No. No. You're not going to do this again. I'm not sacrificing her for Justine. Not again. Ever." The slapping started again and again Liv rose and got her to calm down.

"You have to tell us what is going on here?" Liv said but Bonnie was hunched down crying into her palms. And then Jack looked up with a vacant look on his face and just said:
"I just don't want my girls to be stigmatized." Liv was surprised by that big word that all of a sudden came out of his mouth. Liv shook her head.
"I'm sorry. I don't understand?" she admitted.
"It's not the first time." Bonnie blurted out as she sat up. Liv turned her head.
"What's not the first time?"
"The first time he raped her." Bonnie looked like she was going to fall apart again but managed to stay upright.
"She was just fourteen. My baby. Just fourteen." And then she broke again. Liv looked over at Nick quickly. Liv wished she'd waited to take that break. She needed one now.
"Eric raped Amanda when she was fourteen?" Liv didn't feel as good saying his name this time around.
"Yes," Bonnie cried through her hands.

Behind the window Fin felt the blood rush from his head. He raised his fist as to smash the window but managed to control himself and put his hands on his scalp. Cragen watched him not knowing if he could or actually would want to stop him if he were to smash the window.

Back in the room there was an eerie silence only broken by Bonnie's crying. Liv knew she had to probe but felt very uneasy to do so.
"What happen?" Liv finally asked once Bonnie's crying had gone down some. But it would be the father who spoke first.
"We knew Justine was on drugs. We'd met Eric. She brought him home. We knew they were both using. We forbid him to come to the house and we should have… we couldn't make ourselves forbid her to come home though. We tried but we didn't have it in us. We had said no to drugs in the house though. And then she came home one weekend unannounced. Bonnie and I had been invited to this gathering in the city. We rarely went out at all. We'd been invited by the local sheriff none the less," Jack let out a sad chuckle with this information.
"He was a friend of ours and it was an honor to be asked to this social event. We thought about staying home, not wanting to leave Amanda alone with Justine knowing how unpredictable she was. But it would be impolite to cancel with such short notice and Amanda said she would be fine. It looked like she really wanted to spend the Saturday alone with her sister. Justine was turning 20 in a few weeks and they would plan her birthday party. And Justine promised not to use but she'd promised that before and broken it," Jack looked up at them with grief on his face. Any suspicion Liv had about him was gone.

"So we left," he said and had to take a few deep breaths before he continued.
"Bonnie called the house once during the night. Amanda answered and she said everything was fine. She was probably covering for her sister," he took another pause, seemed as he was struggling to get the story out now.
"We got home just after midnight. The house was all lit up. We…" his voice broke and it looked like he had a hard time breathing. He tried to push his tears back but it made him unable to speak. Bonnie suddenly put her hands down on the table. She rubbed her palms against the cold surface as she followed them with her eyes.
"We could hear music," Bonnie said and continued:
"We knew Justine had broken her promise. The front door was open. When we got inside the place was such a mess. And Eric was there. And three other… stoned people," she looked as though she was searching for a word and 'stoned' was the most loathsome she could come up with.

"We got them to leave. Justine was passed out on the couch. She was unreachable. We started to clean up. And then I went upstairs to check on Amanda. We'd just figured she'd gone to bed. She was a good girl you know," Bonnie looked up at Liv and seemed to need reassurance so Liv nodded at her.
"She had a softball game the next day and she always went to bed on time. But she wasn't in her bed. It was unmade though so I knew she'd been there. I searched her room. She had a habit of hiding in small spaces when she got scared. Or even to just sit in them actually. She said it made her feel safe. Justine was always the opposite. She hated cramped spaces but Amanda would crawl in anywhere. So I checked her closet but she wasn't there." Of course both Liv and Nick thought of the closet in Amanda's apartment. Seemed she still felt safe in small spaces.

"When she wasn't in the bathroom either I called downstairs to Jack that I couldn't find her. I went to check our room since it was further from the stairs, maybe she tried to get away from the music. And that's…" Bonnie covered her mouth with her hand. All Liv and Nick could do was wait. Jack pulled his chair back. He put his face down into his hands, elbows on his knees and took deep breaths. Bonnie finally put her hand down. Her voice was even frailer as she continued.
"Our bed was messed up. There was… blood. I think I screamed. I went around the bed. When she wasn't there I immediately checked the closet. Out of instinct I guess. And…" again her hand flew up to her mouth. Liv understood how hard this was but she had such a hard time being patient right now.
"And there she sat. That sweet sweet girl." Bonnie couldn't hold back her tears as she looked up at Liv.
"She held on to herself for dear life. Rocking back and forth. She wasn't wearing her pajama pants," Bonnie whispered as she said that last part.

"I tried to grab her but she pulled away. And then Jack came running in. I started… I don't know what I did. I screamed again I think and told Jack to do something but he just stood there. I screamed at Amanda, asked her who'd hurt her. I grabbed for her but she just tried to get away and then…" Bonnie looked up at Liv with a broken face as she admitted:
"Then I slapped her." She looked down in shame and continued:
"I asked her again who hurt her and then she told us. Eric. It was Eric. I let go off her and just fell backwards. She started rocking again. And I just said oh my God over and over again until I finally managed to tell Jack to call the police," she looked over at her husband and her face turned from sad to something that looked like loathing.
"But the jackass said no," she hissed with obvious aversion.
"You didn't call the police?" Liv couldn't sit quiet as Bonnie had stopped talking and just stared at her ex husband. Bonnie turned her eyes back at Liv and got some sadness back on her face as she shook her head.

"He told me not to," she said with a calm voice but hate, sadness and shame exchanged time on her face.
"He said that then they'd know about Justine's drug problems. We hadn't told anyone you see. Everyone would find out. The sheriff that we had dinner with only hours ago, our co-workers, neighbors, family, friends… And Amanda… Everyone would know what happen to her and she would be branded in school. Her friends. Teachers. Teammates. Everyone would know. We would never be able to go back. That's what he said," she turned her head to her ex again.
"And I trusted him," she hissed.
"So what did you do?" Liv asked having a hard time concealing her voice from the anger she felt. It was clear Eric had done a horrendous crime but if the parent's had kept it from the police they were guilty too in her eyes.

Bonnie looked down at the table and started telling them:
"He told me to get her to the shower. He'd clean up. I managed to get her up, out of there and in to the bathroom. I put her in the bathtub and put the water on. She wouldn't let me touch her at first but then… then she let me and we both started cleaning her up. She finally let me remove her pajama top and then we just scrubbed for a very long time. I think we were in there for over an hour. We both cried but we didn't talk. We said nothing. When we were done I dried her off. I put her in a new pajamas, gave her two pills of mine. One for anxiety and one was a sleeping pill. I put her down to sleep and told her everything would be fine in the morning." Bonnie looked up at Liv.
"I told her everything would be fine in the morning," she repeated and the disgust that Liv sent her way was already on her face.

Liv felt like asking her if everything was fine the next day. With sarcasm of course. But she could tell the mother was already aware of how wrongly they had acted and she still had questions that needed to be answered. The anxiety she'd picked up from the father earlier, the flaky eyes and all, were probably guilt. A guilt that had grown for many years, dissolved a marriage and alienated a family. This was no time for Liv's personal feelings.
"Amanda didn't have injuries that needed to be attended?" Liv asked and tried to keep her voice neutral. Bonnie looked up, her face was drained.
"She had some bruises but the bleeding stopped."
"Pregnancy, STDs?" Bonnie shook her head at Liv's question.
"I guess we were just lucky." Liv could hear Nick's muffled breath at that answer and was right there with him. Yes very lucky she thought.

"And the next day?" Liv just needed to get through this.
"We stayed up late cleaning. Our bedroom. We pulled the mattresses off our bed. Carried them outside, to the backyard. I slept in Justine's old room and Jack took the couch next to Justine. And in the morning we just got up. Amanda slept long, longer than usual cause of the sleeping pill maybe. I called her coach and told her Amanda was sick and wouldn't make it to the game. When Justine woke up I'd managed to get Amanda downstairs so she was at least sitting at the breakfast table. Jack was around. Justine tried to be her chipper old self, probably thinking we were angry because she'd done drugs in the house even though she promised us not to. I could tell though that it hurt her that Amanda wasn't talking to her, that she didn't seem happy to have her sister there. But Amanda was just… distant. And then Justine left after a while and we… just went back to our routine."

"How did Amanda handle this? I mean was she able to move on?" Bonnie met Liv's eyes briefly but then looked down again.
"I guess. She was low… depressed maybe for a couple of weeks. I gave her some of my pills. She had some trouble in school for a while, she fell asleep in class, got some lower grades than usual and her coaches expressed some concern but then it seemed to turn. She seemed almost normal from time to time. We… we never talked about it."
"You never talked to her about what had happen? You didn't get her any counseling or anything?" Bonnie looked back up, sadness back on her face but her voice was a bit angry as she said:
"No. She seemed fine. We thought it was better for her to just forget about it." Liv had to bite her tongue.
"And you never held Eric accountable for his actions?" Bonnie just shook her head.
"And Justine and Eric stayed together?" Bonnie nodded.
"Do you think he told her? That Justine knows?" Bonnie just looked at her and Liv knew she didn't know the answer to that question.

"Is Justine still with Eric?" Bonnie immediately shook her head.
"No. Since she moved to Pittsburgh he's been out of her life."
"But would she know how to contact him?" Bonnie looked at Liv with sad eyes.
"I don't know. Maybe."
"Is Justine capable of answering questions? Could we interrogate her?"
"She can talk but I'm not sure an interrogation would be the best thing."
"But if we sat down with her like we're doing right now? Talking."
"Yes. I'm not sure how she would handle knowing about Amanda and… Eric though. Eric is still a sore subject."
"We're rather good at this, I'm sure we can handle it. Let's make sure we get her contact information before you leave. I was wondering, did Amanda see Eric again?"
"What do you mean?" Bonnie seemed very tired.
"Did they meet again after that night?" Bonnie looked like she was about to cry again as she nodded.

"We never left her alone with Justine for at least a year after… that night. And Eric wasn't welcome to Justine's 20th birthday party. And then they broke up, well that's what Justine said and she was very upset so we really believed her. She had a new place in Atlanta and we let her come pick Amanda up one day. They would buy things for her new place so we let her take her in to town. And then when they came back that night… Eric was driving the car. Amanda sat in the back and she just looked so… frail. But as soon as she came up to us on the porch she seemed fine. I asked her if something had happen but she just said no. And when I asked her what they had been doing she just said they had shopped. I asked if Eric had been with them the whole day and she told me he'd brought them lunch and then hung around. She wouldn't say much more."

"Do you think he touched her again?" Bonnie looked scared and her lower lip shivered.
"I don't think so." Liv didn't trust that answer.
"And after that? Did Amanda and Eric see each other again?"
"I don't think so."
"And why would he come after Amanda here in New York you think?"
"I don't know." Liv had a hard time hiding her irritation.
"Could it be to get information on where Justine is?" Bonnie nodded.
"And Amanda wouldn't give him that information right?" Bonnie shook her head.
"Have Justine tried to get away from him before?"
"Yes, many times. I got her to rehab but when she got back home he always managed to lure her in again."
"And do you know if Eric went to Amanda to find out where she was during these rehab stints too?" Bonnie looked confused.
"Amanda would have told me wouldn't she?" Liv could not answer Bonnie's question.

They wrapped the interview up rather fast after that and Cragen came in with some good news. Amanda showed signs of waking up and he had arranged a car that would take them back to the hospital straight away. The parents tried to be happy about the news of their daughter's condition but it was obvious the interview had taken a toll. And they weren't exactly encouraged by the detectives. The truth was finally out. Just many years too late Liv thought as she told the parents she'd see them at the hospital a little bit later. Fin couldn't even leave Cragen's office. He felt like he could hurt one or both of them if he got close to them right now. He held them accountable for what his partner now had to endure. They could have prevented this. If they had only done the right thing by their daughter.

XXX

So a very long chapter but it needed to be since it was the "big" reveal. The next chapter will be rather long too since it's told all from Amanda's POV and we now know she has quite a lot to tell about her past.

Thanks to all of you who are still reading. There's still a lot of story left. We had the "big" reveal but we still have some bonding and comforting and a chase to deal with. Of course we have to see Eric go down one way or another. Will Fin be the one who gets to bring justice? And will he ever get his partner back? Stay tuned.