Sorry I haven't updated in a while, uni work has been manic. My tutor decided to tell me the idea I came up with for this unit's brief was no good, two weeks before deadline. Deadline is next wednesday. Luckily, I've gotten it back on track and my work is good, but if he'd just told me that six weeks ago I wouldn't be in this situation! Hope you're all doing well, in a week I'll have more time to write commentaries and post chapters.
AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr! (I cannot make sense of that. At all. Please learn the English language and use it properly)
Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free (He's definitely not dodgy at all then, especially with a name like Tom Riddle. I expect he's a perfectly nice guy, not, say, a paedophile or a mass-murdering Dark wizard). He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual) (Is this playing upon the stereotypical view of gay men? Like, he's bisexual, so by default he HAS to be into fashion because "gays are"? I find this insulting). Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." Well anyway Willow came (I've lost my place on my orgasm counter). Hargird went away angrily.
"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said. (Bitch, you look like a knobhead)
"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything (N'aww, that's really sad). She was wearing (Don't give a shit!) a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets (HUH? Leather fishnets?) and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz (How can boots show off how pale you are?). She had a really nice body wif big bobs (You know how men love "big bobs"!) and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic (Lets applaud that fact, shall we? How about no).
"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked. (What concert is this? Is this the MCR one that happened, but then didn't happen and is now happening?)
"Yah." I said happily.
"I'm gong with Diabolo." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came (Restarting the orgasm counter with two). They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2 (Were their you-know-what's hard?). Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson (Well, I got dressed up as Reagan MacNeil from The Exorcist the other week for my photography project, I think that beats Marilyn Manson). Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower (The warped tower? Is it a relation of the Leaning Tower of Piza?). B'loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel (OH, HELL NO! I DID NOT LEAVE CANON FOR THIS!) but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires (I'm honestly not surprised at this). They dyed in a car crash (They were spending too much attention with the L'Oreal Casting Creme to pay attention to the road and now their son is a Satanist and changed his name to "Dracola". A cross between the youngest Malfoy and a fizzy drink). Navel (Apparently, he was named after a bellybutton before his parents' Casting Creme road traffic accident) converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. (I can't even…) Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) (How is that related to Gothic-ness? Did I miss that lesson of Goth 101?) that his dad Lucian (*eyeroll*) gave him. We did pot, coke and crak (I hope you didn't overdose! No, wait, actually I do!). Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there….I gapsed.
Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. (I can confirm this. I went to the Black Parade tour in 2007. He'd just dyed his hair back to black from bleach blonde) He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes (Are his eyes blue? :S). He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice (Ethnic voice? I know from being an obsessed MCR fan four years ago that he's half Scottish and half Italian, so he isn't ethnic). We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz (Helena's the only one you know, isn't it?). Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask (What mask?). So did the other membez (Sorry, Frank, Mikey, Ray and Bob – if she was thinking of Bob when she wrote this, since he was still in the band then. But yeah, she only knows Gerard because he's "so fukin hot and sexah!1111"). I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes (Jesus Christ…)... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came (That's four orgasms in this chapter alone!). It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers! (They deal in death!)
"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!" (PLEASE VOLDEMORT! I never thought I'd ever beg you to kill someone, but PLEASE KILL THEM!) "No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife. (KNIFE?)
Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread (Uh oh, someone burnt the French baguette!). He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back (Not very gothic, then). He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE! (OH HOLY SHIT I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!)